₦airaland Forum

I met this girl in Europe while I was studying, as at the time I met her she had just broken up her marriage of 2weeks with her long time boyfriend. We happened to be working at the same place. She had financial problems as at the time and I decided to help out, this made us a bit close and we would go to work and return together cos’ our houses weren’t too far from each others’. There was this particular night she asked to stay over at my house cos her friends boyfriend was visiting. I allowed her this once but she would always want to stay every weekend under the guise her friends’ boyfriend was in time. As time went bye, we started sleeping with each other. She knew I had my girl friend in Nigeria but would always ask if I had plans for her, not wanting to hurt her, I’ld say yes. After a while I broke up my relationship with my girl friend Nigeria, and not up to a month after that, she came with the news she was pregnant. This was a girl I never asked out needless to say marriage, she brought herself to me in appreciation of my kind gesture, moreover she happened to be about 5yrs older than I am and I initially kicked against this pregnancy thing but after so much plea and tears from her, I agreed she keeps the baby so long she’s willing to go by my rules.

At this time I had finished my studies and was planning to relocate back to Nigeria, she agreed to move immediately with me and we then started making plans together. As the plans progressed, her Mum suddenly came in and the whole plans were turned upside down. I initially refused but she pleaded with me to let her put to bed in the Europe and would return immediately after. During this period, she was now living with her parents in Europe and she now started acting to her parents’ script. She later put to bed after emptying my account of over 3000 Euros. After she put to bed, we decided to start marriage plans, however I hadn’t got a job in Nigeria at this time but I was able to raise enough money needed on my part for the wedding.

It was a shock to me when her mother told me two days before the wedding that her daughter wouldn’t be moving her personal things to my house because I was staying with my parents and that she’ll be taking her back to Europe cos’ I was yet to find a job. While I disagreed initially, I later gave in to the pressure but I made it clear I was bitter about the whole thing but I let them had their way. She later travelled about 10days after the marriage.

Just after she left with my Son, she came up with all sorts of stories, that her mothers’ pastor has advised her never to bring the baby to my father’s house again cos they might kill him, that the same pastor said I can only get a job in Europe and won’t be able to make a living in Nigeria. All these I ignored and continued with my search here in Nigeria. She went as far as telling my friends to plead with me to change my decision and even buying me gifts in order to change my mind. All this while I never called her parents, I just ignored everything being said and done.
Some few weeks after they returned to Europe, her mother came for a function in Nigeria and I was persuaded to see her by a friend who happens to know the story. I went in his company and right there again, her mother in her usual way, said all sorts and this got me so angry I told her to return in exactly 10weeks or forget about the whole wedding. At this point her father called me and said all sorts of things in Yoruba, all cos I was yet to find a job.

Just about 5weeks before the time limit I gave her expired, there needed to be a surgery on my Son and this led to another quarrel between us. While she lied that a date hasn’t been fixed, her father informed of the actual date only for him to deny ever saying such the night before the surgery, cos’ I’d insisted that a family member be there. We were informed the surgery was now to be done a week later. The surgery was said to be done and it was successful.

All through this while, I’d been going through an interview with a bank and an oil company, but I decided to keep it away from her, cos each time I tell her about such, I found out I don’t go pass the particular stage I was after telling her. I later got a job in the Bank as an SBO and from there moved on to the oil company, where I currently work.
About two days to the expiration of the time I gave her, I just got a text message in the morning saying she was on her way to my house from the airport. Immediately someone pressed on the bell and she showed up without my Son. I initially sent her back but my parents insisted she stayed and we hear her out. She said all sorts of rubbish as to why she didn’t bring the boy and my dad decided to wave into the situation and speak with her father.

Her father confessed she had been in Nigeria for over a week before she showed up at my house and that she and her mum had ganged up against him for revealing the actual date of the surgery to me initially and it was on that basis that he had to lie. Her mother called my Dad immediately after saying all sorts and boasting to find her another husband which by my calculation will be her fourth.
I asked her when she returned and she lied immediately saying she was just coming from the airport and she refused to produce her international passport. I decided to find out my own way and I found out she had actually been in the country about 5days before she showed up at my place. I also found out she had been with her previous boyfriend of about 12yrs whom she once aborted for and whom herself and her mum (when she came after the wedding) claimed was now their family friend. I got so annoyed that I called her, abused and said all sorts of things to her and told her the marriage was off.

She’s sent different people to plead on her behalf but I’ve decided to move ahead with my life without her. I’ve forgiven her but like yoruba’s will say, “Iyawo buruku se ni, ana buruku ni ose ni”. I’ve decided not to have anything to do with her or her family again. I’ve opened a child trust fund account for my son with the previous bank I worked for a period of 21yrs which I hope to hand over to him whenever I set my eyes on him in the future.

I’m just so sad for letting myself be fooled that long and having to go through a divorce months after the wedding.

Good people of nairaland, please advice accordingly,