₦airaland Forum

tattooed boldly on his arm

you did a great job , its a good attempt.

I work in a hospital and I  love writing. 

1) your characters MUST BE BELIEVABLE. The doctor does not sound like one, you must research your characters  e.g go sit in a hospital and observe doctors at work. That way you get the feel of how doctors speak to nurses, patients etc

2) The story is predictable, we can see the end from the beginning.  Suspense and surprising twists are the soul of good story telling

3)create more conflicts e.g there is a male doctor in the hospital in love with the lady doctor. She dosnt really like him but marrying him will mean a promotion, a house in ikoyi etc.  The lady finds herself torn between true love( but how can she break the ethics of the job by getting involved with a patient) at the same time  this  male doctor is getting suspicious.  she is also losing respect in the ward and having subtle clashes with all the nurses  because ONE nurse saw her holding the patients hand in a manner that did not look ' medical'. The nurses have never really liked her because she is polished and went to school. (This is just an example so dear council of critics dont criticize it as not being good enough.)
you need to be a good story teller to make good films.

4) practice story telling by being part of a drama group, it will help you see how well your script works though of course drama scripts and movie scripts are difft but storytelling is still storytelling.

5)get a better name for your film. A name is like a book cover, its the first impression

6) I see from some of your responses that you dont take criticisms very well, if you dont have a thick skin then dont write, criticism can come as cotton wool or knife wounds.


no offense to naira landers but some one can steal your story on this forum no matter how many copyright laws you cite.

keep your dream alive.
cheers.