MPESA:


My sister I don't think you are the person who is to get the list .
I'm from Igbo by tribe Anambra State to be precise but grew and bred in Yoruba land. But to be candid with he's the one that will come with one or two people to collect the MARRIAGE LIST from.your family not by sending you .BTW he can do a low key event just like me low key event has always be my desires of which I have discussed with my girl and she's fine with it EXCEPT you or him want to do something big .

P.s
Low key events has not to do with financial status of the people involves but by choice and circumstances.

morningstar55:
young lady...my comment above was targeted at your man,not you.

From your last line...you said you don't wanna lose him...init?.here are the options

1.give him sex in order to keep him

2.if you are not cool with the above,you guys can go for introduction(both families shud meet for formalities) so you can move in with him.

3.allow him to help himself(which ever way he deem fit) so you guys can get married whenever he is financially buoyant.

There is one thing you must understand...In life,doing the right thing requires sacrifice.you must part with one to get another.you must step on toes to get the right thing done.

My half kobo

MPESA:
[/quote]
it's the gospel truth o...Am glad you are experienced in this field [quote author=MPESA post=72645383]

morningstar55:

Bia young man...that others opinion differs doesn't make them hypocrites.let me ask you,do you know why most marriages crash these days?...it's simply because of insincerity.

You will hear stuffs like I'll love you forever...i'll never cheat no matter what.truth is,they make these promises without thinking twice(what if...)

My story
When i met my ex,she was a virgin.i never knew cos I thought any girl above 20 must have eaten the forbidden fruit..but I careless cos i'm not a virgin freak and then she asked,can you date without sex?...i said NO

Even if i'm not a sex freak,a day will come when the urge will knock,and if I had answered in affirmative,what do you think will become of me?..a liar?...no way.for that reason,the young girl begged me to do it simply because I was sincere from the beginning.

This is my point...before you answer any question from your parner(or to be),you must think twice(what if...).so in a nutshell the man should have asked himself...how long can I wait?..before giving the Op an answer.

My half cent

MPESA:




It's seems that you have made up mind to fall for this gimmicks because CHANGE IS CONSTANT, He can change.
Telling you that he has a lot of woman trying to get his attention is fallacy because it's very normal for any guy who is good both in physiques OR in characters.

Long distance relationship is for mature minds ,for people who really knows what they want from each , their plans for future and the bonds that's exist between them , such as care, trust , faith , love and intimacy which you have given him EXCEPT SEX .


I SPEAK FROM EXPERIENCES BECAUSE I'M IN LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP DIFFERENTS COUNTRIES
I HAVEN'T NOT FOR ONCE COMPRISED MYSELF EVEN WHEN MY FRIENDS ARE MAKING FUNS OF ME EVEN WHEN LADIES BOTH MARRIED AND UNMARRIED ARE MAKING THEIR INTENTIONS KNOWN TO ME.
IT'S NOT ONLY BY PHYSIQUES BUT PERSONALITIES SUCH AS CHARACTERS ETC BECAUSE BACK IN NIGERIA I HAVE DATED AT LEAST TWO LADIES WHOM APPROACHED ME FIRST AND NO BI SAY I FINE OOO OR SAY I TALL OOO & THEIR FAMILIES ARE VERY WELL LOADED SERIOUSLY LIKE ×10 OF MY FAMILY NA ISSUES OF MARRIAGE MAKE ME RUN LEAVE THEM OOO AND THEY ARE VERY YOUNG AVERAGELY BETWEEN 22 AND 24YRS
LDR, IT'S CHALLENGING BUT IT WORTH IT IF YOU ARE WITH THE RIGHT PERSON WHO YOU SHARES THE SAME GOALS AND FUTURE.
IT'S HAS A LOT OF UPS AND DOWN OF IT , IT CAN'T BE ALL ROSY BUT IT'S ALL ABOUT THE PEOPLE INVOLVED.

YOU GIVING HIM WHAT HE WANT IS STILL 50/50 CHANCE
OF HIM STAYING BECAUSE LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP INVOLVED NOW AND BECAUSE NOT EVERYONE CAN HANDLE IT.


P.S
I'm very much okay and normal it's a decision I have made for years and I believed that I and my girl shares the same view about our future because I believed that she possessed all I want in woman In as much I can be able to manage her FLAWS because theirs nothing like perfection it's all about fatansy we created.

So my points is if he really sees you as woman he want to spend his entire life with he will surely respect your decision , treasure you and do the needful because marriage planned between this and next year is still the same, it's just differents if months.

MPESA:


God bless you for this wonderful advise BTW op where are you from because this advise is applicable to Igbo people talk more of If you are Yoruba lady because their marriages requirements is very affordable at some point.
Having a high class wedding is good but never translate to happy and successful home .

MPESA:


Don't give in to his request because CHANGE is constant that MR perfect for now might turn to a beast tomorrow.
I wish he understands that your type are very rare to find this time around that immoralities are the order of the day.
You haven't nothing to lose , I just pity him because if he truly want the marriage he will wait after all he has been waiting for the 3yrs so is it less than 12 months before you guys settle down will kill him..
Using cheating on you to threatened you is absorb , how sure he's hasn't be doing it for the past 3 yes .

MPESA:


Funny thing now is that this girl is just trying to justify his reason the guy reasons and give in to the guy request.
No bi say he wan marry before, make him marry fast and put am for house and dhey chop am any how he want am .

Thou at some points I understand the guy frustration but he has to hold himself to avoid making unnecessarily mistakes.

AryEmber:
Looks to me like you've already decide to give in, it's your life sweetheart. The problem I see here is that you've got the wrong reason for keeping yourself, I'm guessing you are in your twenties. If I can control myself for a decade despite all the shits going on in this world then the word 'compromise' is gibberish to me. Is he the only one with urges? You wish to screw his brains out just as much! Abegi, he's no victim.

dairykidd:


If u can compromise give in to him but that wouldn't guarantee nothing tho... Three years & no sex still baffles me sha una done try

OneSentence:
I can't say categorically. a few do. only a few.

morningstar55:
did he say he'll be needing sex after 3yrs into the relationship?...if yes,give him sex and unsink your sinking ship...but if NO,it's about time you seeketh a man whose word is yea and amen for it's the tongue that defines a man.

Fyi0:
My two cents.

Don't mind the hypocrites on here telling you about keeping virginity and that the man should wait if he is worth it. That's total crap!

You think it is easy for a man to stay without sex for three years and going? And constantly resisting the urge? It is awe-inspiring indeed that he has not yet discarded you, cos I sure would have done that a long time if I were him.

So when you wait until the wedding night and you finally give it to him then what? What really is the gain other than the sense of pride that you are a virgin till your wedding night.

Don't get me wrong. Virginity till marriage is a noble thing. But if you love him as you claim here you should be able to compromise. Or is he the only one to compromise

Since you are sure of his love for you and his intentions towards marrying you why then do you delay it? What difference does it make? Isn't it the same person?

This is my disinterested opinion.

Thank you.

JONNYSPUTE:
If he truly love you as he claimed or as you believed,why are you two still dating and not married? 3yrs,hmmm. Be careful, some guys can have all the patience in this world just to get at a particular pussy. If he loves you he should do the needful. Don't give in to his request,build your self esteem and confidence.

morningstar55:
did he say he'll be needing sex after 3yrs into the relationship?...if yes,give him sex and unsink your sinking ship...but if NO,it's about time you seeketh a man whose word is yea and amen for it's the tongue that defines a man.

OneSentence:

if I'm gonna be blunt with u, more often than not ladies like u end up heartbroken so be prepared for that possibility. he could already be cheating. your is to try ur best to keep him but don't let him cut you. he'll come back after he plays around and realises there's none like you. it might hurt but if it happens and u can forgive him then fine. this might not happen but I'm preparing you for the worst as well as being realistic. There's no fairy tale love anywhere anymore

dairykidd:

Hell no! I want him to do the needful get him occupied, let him make the moves to make u his wife... Let that be his motivation to get up back on his feet again while u should always be available to assure him of ur love & loyalty. The financial issues & idleness is getting the best of him... Make him use his situation to both your advantage b4 one strange woman go come change the track.. But if u eventually want to give in to sex which doesn't make sense to me after all these years, it should be out of ur own will & not under any pressure or obligation

Admin401:
You've done your best, keeping yourself chaste all this while, you can't turn back now. I'm sure everything will work out fine.

Admin401:
You've done your best, keeping yourself chaste all this while, you can't turn back now. I'm sure everything will work out fine.

Menal99:
OK, thanks. Does it imply that once he sees my parents I can give in? He has always wanted to do this(see my parents) from the onset

dairykidd:

Waiting for things to change before making the move is time wasting & wasting time might cost u guys a lot... Seeing ur parents doesn't have to be a money draining. He should make do with what is available... I'm just saying

Ken4agent:
Let me simply prove to you d need for sex before marriage by asking you a Question:
Suppose you get married to him and on your first night he discover something about your sex life he can't cope with, don't you think he will consider you a scam?? Which is the reason u refuse him sex

Or the other way, suppose on your first night u discover he is uncircumsized or he is sterile? Are u ready do endure the aftermath of all these??

My dear keeping virginity till wedding night has been made upsolate by our complex n complicated society we live in.......the truth is that his already helping himself with another hot lady out there while yu keep the virginity. If he marry yu as a virgin and yu do not have good character or Behaviour, my dear yu are going to be demoted from wife to side chik...trust me

Marrying as a virgine is not a guarantee for a happy and successful marriage

Menal99:

I really appreciate your contribution... all you've mentioned above, I have done it. I know he loves me. I'm really sure about that.
I remember when we started, he once mentioned he doesn't care if a woman is a virgin or not as there are many other important things that make a good woman and yet, being a virgin is a thing of pride.
This period we've been together without sex has been wonderful.
Now, situation has made us find ourself in a distant relationship and that's y I'm more scared. I am beginning to feel insecure which isn't good for a relationship. He is this kind of man that people like easily:both male and female.
He tells me all about it. once, he told me about a lady who's wooing him and how he is trying his best to avoid her his reason being that he might fall because he hasn't had sex in ages

OneSentence:
menal99 don't let him pressurise you into sex but give him the undoubted assurance that you are his. don't fight him over it but always calmly reassure him to wait. don't listen to those aggressive voices here cos that's how u will lose him and won't find another like him then your story will be like theirs...all men are scum...
don't give in but assure him that he'll have all of u at the right time. the danger of giving in is this...after waiting for so long if he has it he will think to himself that is this what he has been begging for all the while? make sure you are useful too to him in ways he can't do without u. that way even without sex he'll have reason to love u as u have loved him without money. all the best dear
things will def get better

Ken4agent:
Let me simply prove to you d need for sex before marriage by asking you a Question:
Suppose you get married to him and on your first night he discover something about your sex life he can't cope with, don't you think he will consider you a scam?? Which is the reason u refuse him sex

Or the other way, suppose on your first night u discover he is uncircumsized or he is sterile? Are u ready do endure the aftermath of all these??

My dear keeping virginity till wedding night has been made upsolate by our complex n complicated society we live in.......the truth is that his already helping himself with another hot lady out there while yu keep the virginity. If he marry yu as a virgin and yu do not have good character or Behaviour, my dear yu are going to be demoted from wife to side chik...trust me

Marrying as a virgine is not a guarantee for a happy and successful marriage

dairykidd:

Maybe its the financial downturn or he has a lot of idle time on his hands these days.. You say he's been patient with you for 3 yrs then u really should have nothing to bother about...

Wait ooo. You have been making a good guy wait 3 yrs Three whole yrs.. Jesu!
Since he's your dream man & u seem like his dream girl what are u guys waiting for again He should start with the introduction rites na & do the traditional or white wedding.. He must nor hammer before him do am.
Make hi; do something or what plans do u guys have for yourselves
36 fûcking months & counting na wah

NnaaGuy:
Not again.

There's nothing wrong with your decision morally speaking. But in this corrupt and sex crazed world of porn and nudity, (which I'm sure your guy has been thoroughly exposed to), expect to be chided, booed, and criticized for that stance.

In a normal world, your man should be proud of your pure state and would seek to protect it until the right time. But I'm sorry dear, THE WORLD IS NO LONGER NORMAL.

Maintain your pride all the same. If he is really the man he claims to be, he'll wait.

WorldklazzBae:
Are u emotionally ready for what comes with sex? If no, then don't. Think about it very well before finally making a decision. My opinion is plz stay away whatever the cost, the price may be too heavy to pay.