The big trend today is to go “-less”. The grocery stores want us to go “bag-less” and bring our own totes. Companies ask us to go “paperless” and pay our bills online. Of course most of us have gone “wireless” long ago, but there is one area of married life people shouldn’t go “-less” in…and that’s sex. Yet, according to surveys, an estimated 20 million couples have done exactly that.


WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?

Sexless marriage is defined as having sex less than ten times a year. Some couples say it’s a lack of time. Others say they lack desire. Sex is very important in a marriage.

Men and women give a variety of reasons as to why they are in a sexless marriage, but there is only one real cause: They STOP. Pretty simplistic reasoning, I know. Actually, in reality it’s usually because one person in the marriage says “no” and stops.

There could be serious issues such as infidelity, physical or health problems, pornography use and masturbation, past sexual abuse, etc., that lead to a lack of sex. The following advice will, mostly likely, not apply to you if you are dealing with anything of that nature. Those are much more complex issues that need to be addressed with the proper professional support and counseling, and are not the scenarios I’m talking about here. I’m speaking of much simpler and straightforward situations.

As in a recent email I received from a woman who said she cut off sex for a reason she saw as a legitimate issue: his poor hygiene. Who wants to get up close and personal with someone who stinks like last week’s garbage or visits a toothbrush once a month whether they need it or not? Another reoccurring theme I often hear is that the guy doesn’t take his time. He’s the “two-minute wonder”…if he even makes it that long! The woman doesn’t get any pleasure or enjoyment from the act of lovemaking and feels used when he just “hops on and hops off”. So she ends up saying, “No”, when he approaches her for sex.

I GET IT

There are genuine sources of trouble that lead to issues in the sex department. But just saying no isn’t the answer. Saying no to a guy and shutting him down causes a man to lose his confidence. As little as two or three rejections in a row will make many men back off and not want to try anymore. He’ll simply quit asking. Women fail to realize how very fragile a man’s ego is…especially in the area of his sexual prowess.

It’s not just sex he steps away from. Often, as a move of self-preservation, the guy will begin to back off emotionally, too. He stops paying attention to and stops really engaging with his wife. Most all forms of touching stop because it only leads to sexual frustration. Everything a woman wants from her husband apart from sex now goes out the window. The best example I’ve seen that shows how this plays out in a marriage is in the recent movie Hope Springs, starring Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones. If you are dealing with a sexless marriage or especially if you have just begun to struggle in this area, you must see it.

Trust me, you do not want to become this couple. You really need to watch it to get a good picture of what your life will look like if someone keeps saying “no”. What a husband and wife go through and where they end up is really depicted well. It’s emotionally brutal to watch. All the anger, loneliness, sadness is palpable. Apparently, it was supposed to be a comedy, but there is nothing funny about the situation these two are in. The reason they are so miserable is because they allowed the marriage to die. On the eve of celebrating 31 years of marriage, they are sleeping in separate rooms, he’s angry and bitter, she’s hurt and devastated by his lack of interest in her.

She ends up scheduling a week long counseling intensive for them to attend, in hopes that it will fix the problems so they can have a “real marriage” again and end the five-year drought in their sex life. (Quick disclaimer here: I totally disagree with the lust-based practices the therapist employs to “spice up” and get their love life back on track. In the end, they find that it’s just good-old-fashioned, lust-free sex that works.)

The Streep and Jones characters go through several therapy sessions, and then spend uncomfortable evenings awkwardly trying out exercises assigned by the therapist to improve their ability to touch and reconnect with one another. It isn’t until more than halfway through the movie that the truth finally explodes when the guy says, “You’re the one who stopped.” He then explains how he, in turn, shut down in both sexual and non-sexual ways, and became disconnected and disinterested in his wife.

She admits that, “Yes, I stopped for a while” but can’t understand why he stopped after that and never restarted when she wanted him again. Like in any marriage, there were issues and reasons why she stopped. But during all their years, he didn’t know what those issues were. She never told him what she needed or wanted.

SHE JUST SAID, “NO”

The big problems start when you simply S-T-O-P. You can’t just say, “No”. By doing so, you risk the other person shutting down completely and eventually the whole relationship derails and dies. Your spouse must hear some version of “yes” from you. The solution is to say, “Yes, IF….” and tell the guy what it is you need from him to make this a win for both of you.

Before I get emails from people freaking out saying, “You mean women have to put out no matter what!?” Take a deep breath and relax…that’s NOT what I’m saying. Of course, a woman doesn’t have to put up with ridiculous, abusive or immoral behavior from a man and “shut up and put out” as some very misguided people believe and teach.

Like the poor lady who approached me at one of my marriage conferences with tears streaming down her face. She went on to explain that her husband never talked to her.

I questioned, “He never talks to you? That can’t be possible?”

To which she drilled back, “No! He NEVER talks to me!”

I asked her how her love life was. She explained that it was fine.

“So how is it that your love life is fine, if your husband never talks to you? You mean you are still having regular sex with him?” I queried.

She cried, “Well, that’s what they teach us at the women’s conferences. That you shouldn’t turn the man down, and it’s a wife’s duty.”

I told her, “You’ve gotten some bad teaching, Sweetheart! You can still have sex with him but the next time he reaches for you, say, “I’ll knock your socks off and make you a happy boy! But first, we are going to talk for fifteen minutes.”

See, she didn’t have to subject herself to the hurtful behavior, yet, could tell him “yes”. Now, it’s a win/win scenario.

Source: http://www.kevinabosi.com/2015/06/going-sexless.html

A 10-year-old girl, Chidinma, has been admitted at an undisclosed hospital after a couple – Eucheria Chukwuma and Jerry Oko-Oboh – allegedly beat her up and stabbed her in the private parts with a broken bottle.

It was learnt that the couple and the victim’s family lived on Joshua Street, Agbabiaka, in the Ajangbadi area of Lagos.

It was learnt that the couple assaulted the minor for allegedly fiddling with the vagina of their three-year-old daughter, Peace.

PUNCH Metro gathered that Chidinma, who denied the allegation, had played with Peace at about 7pm on April 6. It was alleged that the toddler later cried and told her parents that Chidinma fiddled with her private parts.

Angered by the complaint, 30-year-old Chukwuma, it was learnt, went to Chidinma’s mother, Ofia, demanding that Chidinma follow her to her room.

A few minutes later, Ofia reportedly heard her daughter screaming and rushed to Chukwuma’s apartment to see what was wrong.

On getting there, the door was said to have been locked by the couple who reportedly beat up the victim repeatedly with punches. Not satisfied, the wife allegedly stabbed Chidinma in the private parts and smeared them with pepper.

Our correspondent was told that the couple fled the neighbourhood when blood started gushing from Chidinma’s vagina. They were later trailed and arrested by the police after the attack was reported at the Okokomaiko Police station.

The police said Chukwuma, in a statement she voluntarily made at the station, confessed to the crime, saying she became furious when the girl declined comments about Peace’s allegation.

She and her husband were subsequently arraigned before an Apapa Magistrate’s Court on three counts bordering on assault.

The offence, according to the police prosecutor, Olusoji Ojaokomo, is punishable under sections 171, 243 and 409 of the Criminal Law of Lagos State of Nigeria, 2011.

The charges read in part, “That you, Eucheria Chukwuma, 30 and Jerry Oko-Oboh, 32 on April 6, 2015, at about 9pm on Joshua Street, Agbabiaka, Oke-Agbo, Ajangbadi, in the Ojo Magisterial District, did conspire to commit felony and unlawfully assaulted one 10-year-old Chidinma, by beating her up with fist blows in her eye, which caused her harm.

“That you, on the same date, time and place, in the aforementioned magisterial district, did unlawfully assault one Chindima by stabbing her with a broken bottle in her private parts.”

The accused persons, however, pleaded not guilty to the offence.

The presiding magistrate, Mr. P.A. Adekomaya, admitted them to bail in the sum of N100, 000 with a surety each in like sum. He added that they be remanded in prison custody until their bail conditions were perfected.

The case was adjourned till May 13, 2015 for mention.

Source: http://www.kevinabosi.com/2015/04/couple-stabs-10-year-old-girl-in.html

Police in the U.S. have been making the news for a long time for being trigger happy.

However, one officer, Jesse Kidder, is being praised for refusing to shoot a murder suspect who charged at him shouting ‘shoot me’.

Michael Wilcox is facing double murder charges and was in a chase with Kidder before stopping his car, getting out and heading towards the patrol car.

Kidder backs off as the 27-year-old approaches him. But rather than pulling the trigger, he says ‘I’m not going to shoot you, man’.Gun drawn, but Jesse Kidder refused to shoot

The former Marine had been warned by dispatchers that he may try ‘suicide by cop’, but Kidder said: ‘I wanted to be absolutely sure before I used deadly force’.

While running backwards with his gun raised, Kidder falls over, and Wilcox continues to approach him. But once he’s got back to his feet, he tells Wilcox to get down on the ground.

Kidder told WLWT-TV: ‘He jumped out and he sprinted toward me. I had my firearm already drawn … and I told him to put his hands up in the air and he was screaming “Shoot me! Shoot me!”.’

‘For him to make the judgment call that he did shows great restraint and maturity,’ New Richmond Police Chief Randy Harvey said. ‘This video footage, it eliminated all doubt that this officer would have been justified if in fact it came to a shooting.’

Kidder has been praised for his restraint (Picture: WLWT)

Wilcox is charged with the fatal shooting of his 25-year-old girlfriend, Courtney Fowler, and is a person of interest in a Kentucky slaying.

Authorities say he had a violent encounter with Brown County investigators who tried to arrest him before he drove off and headed west toward Cincinnati.

Kidder’s display of restraint comes at a time of intense scrutiny of police tactics. The killings of two unarmed black men by white police officers in Ferguson, Missouri, and New York City touched off protests and a national debate over police conduct that intensified after grand juries declined to indict the officers.

Earlier this month, an unarmed black man was shot and killed by a white police officer in North Charleston, South Carolina. The officer was charged with murder and has been fired by the North Charleston Police Department.

In Tulsa, Oklahoma, a 73-year-old volunteer deputy, who is white, faces manslaughter charges after being accused of shooting a black man to death while the suspect was being held down by other officers. The volunteer deputy said he shot the suspect after mistakenly grabbing his handgun instead of his Taser stun gun.

Source: http://metro.co.uk/2015/04/19/cop-praised-for-refusing-to-shoot-murder-suspect-who-ran-at-him-5156740/#mv-b

Enlarge the picture for better consumption. life na only one chance..

Nikko Jenkins – idiot or psychopath? (Picture: Douglas County)

A prisoner tried to write ‘666’ on his own forehead but forgot he was looking in the mirror so it came out as upside down ‘999’s.

It is believed convicted murderer Nikko Jenkins wrote the bungled ‘sign of the beast’ self-mutilation in a bid to avoid the death penalty.

The 28-year-old inmate is said to have told a judge during a recent telephone hearing of the irreversible mishap.

Jenkins reportedly told Judge Peter Bataillon that he carved the 666 because he is not receiving treatment for his purported mental illness.

He asked the judge to order the Nebraska State Patrol to investigate.

But the judge declined, reports local news site Omaha.com.

Jenkins is looking to avoid the death penalty (Picture: AP)

It is not clear yet whether Jenkins will use the latest self-mutilation to try to get himself again declared incompetent before he can face a death-penalty hearing.

Jenkins mutilated himself last year with a Charles Manson-style swastika on the forehead which resulted in a delay to the hearing.

It took a year before the judge declared him competent to stand trial and was just the latest antic in a case that has dragged on for 20 months.

Jenkins is scheduled to go before a three-judge panel in early July which will decide if he should be executed for his 2013 killing spree of four people.

The killer says he acts under the voice commands of a serpent god, but psychiatrists are split on whether is he a genuine schizophrenic.

Source: http://www.kevinabosi.com/2015/04/prisoner-wrote-666-backwards-on-his.html

Twelve Nigerian and Ghanaian migrants were thrown overboard following a fight concerning their Christian religion, Italian police said yesterday. The police said 15 African Muslim migrants have arrested over the incident. .

The victims were “of Christian faith, compared to their attackers who were of Muslim faith,” police said in a statement, saying the 15 people arrested were accused of “multiple aggravated murders motivated by religious hate”.

The incident aboard the rubber dinghy, which was carrying about 100 migrants, took place in the Strait of Sicily, between Tunisia and Italy.

According to a group of Nigerian and Ghanaian survivors, a fight broke out over religion, with a group of Muslim passengers threatening the Nigerians and Ghanaians after the latter – who were in the minority – declared themselves to be Christians.“The threats then materialised and 12 people, all Nigerian and Ghanaian, are believed to have drowned in the Mediterranean,” the statement added.

The 15 migrants arrested over the attack on their arrival in Palermo were from Ivory Coast, Mali and Senegal.

In a separate migrant tragedy, as many as 41 migrants were feared drowned after refugee boat sank in the Mediterranean, Italian media reported.

Four survivors reported the incident to Italian police and humanitarian organizations.

The four survivors said they were originally from Sub-Saharan Africa and had left the city of Tripoli in Libya on Saturday. They then stayed adrift for four days before their boat was wrecked, the IOM spokesman said in a statement.

“It appears that the four were found floating in the sea by a helicopter and were then rescued by the military ship Foscari,” the IOM said.
Source: http://www.kevinabosi.com/2015/04/12-nigerians-ghanaians-thrown-into-sea.html

REPEATED injections and implants have caused the man's penis to balloon.

Micha Stunz has been injecting his penis for years – so much so he now struggles to have sex.
The 45-year-old, from Berlin, Germany, estimates his penis now weighs an incredible half a stone – but he can't be sure, as it no longer fits on his kitchen scales.
It measures nine inches in length and 3.5 inches width.
"I've been told that my penis looks like an ass or a mouth from the front," he said.
"After you reach a certain size, you can't do certain things any more.

"At least not with everyone and not without some pre-intimacy.
"But there are other things you can do with it.
"You just have to free yourself from established roles and ideas about sex and be ready to play."

Stunz said he felt trapped in his natural body and was desperate to mould it.
He became obsessed after being given a penis pump as a present 20 years ago.
"I found that when I went out pumped up, it was a good feeling, it felt great.
"I had the feeling that I wasn't trapped in the body I was born with, but that I had the possibility to shape it myself to change it."

He began injecting himself with saline – until docs advised of serious medical dangers.
A student medic then agreed to perform a silicon implant on his manhood.
"The people around me started to wonder why my groin area would change in size. That's why I started looking for something more permanent."
Experts say he could be left with a permanently mutilated penis if the effects of the ops go wrong.
But Mr Stunz is adamant he likes the bulging look – other than when he has to find new pants.

Source: http://www.kevinabosi.com/2015/04/man-with-penis-weighing-half-stone-can.html

A PERVERT is said to have ejaculated on women while travelling on busy trains.

Tetsuya Fukuda has been carrying out the vile act for four years, according to allegations.
The 40-year-old is said to have preyed on young women while travelling on busy commuters trains in Tokyo, Japan.
The alleged assaults took place on trains between Kinshicho and Akihabara stations in the city, acceding to police reports.
Fukuda was arrested following police DNA analysis of semen found on an 18-year-old's dress.

The schoolgirl reported the stain to police after suspecting foul play.

It's thought the man cut holes into his jackets so he could play with his genitals while on crowded trains.


Alleged victim Ria Yoneda, 26 said: "It happened to me as well but I didn’t know who had done it.
"It is just disgusting, he needs help."
It's reported Fukuda has admitted to carrying out the disgusting act on more than 100 women since 2011.
He is said to have told policemen when he was arrested: "I get excited when in close contact with a woman on a crowded train."
He is expected to appear in court soon to face sentencing for damaging property.

Source: http://www.kevinabosi.com/2015/04/male-train-passenger-ejaculated-on-more.html