₦airaland Forum

280,000 miles by many testers makes an old clunky car.

1. Maybe you are incompatible with her. It is possible that you are the major culprit,mor maybe it is she...but listen: it takes two to tango.
2. Your story is one version of the facts, plus we don't know the background of your relationship, which can explain a lot of what's going in now.
3. Your marriage will not get better. It will only get worse. What you get away with today, you'd want to get away with more in the future because you never suffered consequences. She WILL do the same things to you if she gets away with stuff.
4. Apparently you have no children, so that's a good thing because you don't want your child(ren) to witness immature behavior and fights from adults. They'd grow up to replicate the behavior.
5. I am an Ivorian living in the US and was in the same situation as you are now twenty years ago. We were incompatible. I have my weaknesses. She has hers. I thought things would change. They got worse with the years. I should have acted then and walked away when I tried my best but she took it as weakness.
6. If I were you I wouldn't send her back home NOW because that would be a bad decision taken under the counsel of anger.
7. Keep her in the house. It is also her house. Apologize to her for the part you played in the fight. If she doesn't do the same take note of it but don't say anything.
8. Be on your best behavior going forward. Every day. Treat her like a princess. Shower her with praise and show her respect at all time. Don't enter into silly arguments that you wouldn't remember six weeks from now.
9. Never show pride. It is a bad advisor.
10. If you treat your wife like a princess and she doesn't change then within a year you should terminate the relationship while you haven't invested too much into it.
11. But be honest with yourself. If you are REALLY the bad person in the relationship or one of the bad persons, sending her back to Nigeria won't do anything for you: your next relationship will also fail because you are the problem or part the problems.
12. Be nice to her at all time even if you decide to send her back. Never be mean to her. Never disrespect her in private or in person. Never ever ever put your hand on her. By going for the remote, you DID put your hand on her. That's classified as violence. You should know that and never do it again. Get more remotes. Get more electronics. You make enough money.
13. Your wife is a mirror of your behavior: you treat her well, she SHOULD also treat you well. Do your part first. It should work. If you HONESTLY do your part and it doesn't work, then no one would blame you for splitting.
14. Take your religion seriously. Everything you need is in your sacred book. That's the truth.