Next!!!!

CuteEmma:
Dumbiri Ewere Miracle, 400level Optometrist, Uniben. Soon to become a B.Sc Degree holder, can't write in English. Boy Oh boy, see gbagauns. Please consider revising that post, don't disgrace ma school on Nairaland.

, kimnana u nt a kid anymore, u carry ur 2GO beef enter nairaland? Babe abeg growup ooo and mind u, am nt running a b,sc programme, but rather a doctorate programme in optometry, tz called OD (doctor of optometry)

MissFibre:
Funny none of you noticed this part:

''You don't think the President spends 1 billion naira on feeding, do you?''

I just dey laugh...


Mucheche!!

i notice am o

On december 14 2011 ,, i heard that waec gce results has been released,,, omo that day na im i remember say i be sinner o,, lol,, i kneel down begin pray to God say make im forgive me my sins,, make i pass maths and physics,,, so that i go enter school that year.... With faith i stroll go cafe go check am**************************************** urs faithfully,,, see wetin i see,,, maths A1, physics B3,, agric B3.. English C4,, biology C6, economics C6, geography D7, chemistry outstanding....... Oboy,,, na so i begin jubilate like who possess ooooo,,, so finally i gain admission enter,,, the famous university of benin to study optometry.... Bt remember say chemistry na outstanding o.. So i gat use two results for clearamce..... But that period ehn,,,, ASUU dy on strike,,, so base on oversabi wey i be,, i come borrow books from my guy wilson,,, remember wilson na,,, i come dy jack ahead... Lol,,,, we jack all through december and jamuary,,, then on febuary 6th 2012 ASUU call off strike so,, we nid start manual clearance.... Bt before den... I don pay my acceptance fee.. Of N35250,, swear affidavits of LGA, good conduct, non membership of secret cult,,and age declaration.... Then i come proceed to online clearance.... All thanks to my buddy ezekiel who was also in optometry and was a good friend or so i thought....... On the D day,, that we were suppose to show up for clearance.. Myself, ezekiel and his elder brother peter,,, who was also a fresher in physics left the house by 6:00am ,wen we got the famous shuttle park in ringroad,, we saw ofure,,, another fresher in biochemistry,,, we all boarded the bus,, together,,, mehn we reach uniben ugbowo by 8;00am.. For those of una wey knw hw ugbowo road be,, u go understand why....... Wen we reach there,,, na so we see many ppl,, oboy both freshers and staylittes hehehehehe,,, i swear e nor hard to knw fresher for uniben,, becos that mumu and zombie look dy always dy their face,, coupled with the fact say dem hold file,,,also their dressing nor dy conceal as well,,, see different ppl dy dere for different business,, some dy sell scratchcards,, sme dy snap passports,, some dy make photocopy,, while some dy distribute flyers as regard their tutorials.. That time u go hear tutorials like mirror of success,,,quintinsence, no more failure,, et.c u go see guys like pastor, p, son of man,, haliday and others dy market their products... Lolll,, chai and after everything,, me and my guys cme waka go the famous akin deko auditorium.... Where the manual clearance go start.............

Well the next day being geography and the time was 9;00am,,, ah left home early,, and got to the exam centre,, by 7;25am,, mind you,, the exam centre is evbuareke secondary school uselu,, wen i got there,, i met some guys smoking,, weed,, omo liver cut me ooo lolm they asked for my name and i told them,, they told me that they were machineries and they are graduates of sociology,,,, we gisted for a while so they asked me for some cash,,, they said they wona buy more weed,, so out of fear i gave dem N100,,, they were happy,,, one of them even told me his name was dennis and he said " my guy,,, if anybody try u for dis caban,, jus call me,, na me get this area,,, even if na toto u wan Bleep,, jus call me,," soon people started coming,, mr nelson came,,, samson and clive came,,, we sat according to our malpractice arrangement.... #winks,,,, the exam went well for that day,,,, and i made more friends,,,,,,, we went through other subjects similarly,,, funny enough.. I didnt even make use of mr nelson microchips cos the questions were quite easy...... The day we did alternative to practical in physics.. I felt like a god,, becos i really practiced and perfected the act of plotting graph... Hehehe... That day ehn... See ajebutter upss and udss stdent dy cry,, ppl surround me,, dy spy,,, the secy dilys just bone,,, i tell her say make she spy,,,, she jus bone say she nor dy spy say make i teach am,,, na im i laugh... Tell am say she go pay small thing,,,********** she cme askk wetin.....? *guess wetin i tell am,,,,,,, anyway... We write other papers,,, make more friends and smooch more babes,,, base on i be scholar na,,, #winks,,,,,, the day for the final paper came and that was chemistry,,, ma favorite subject...... That day i refuse to pay for expo,,, so i was relocated to the front sit,,,, there i met one sexy gurl by name gift........ She asked me for help in one of the questions which i gladly helped her on,, though she was also intelligent bt due to the fact that she was in ss2.... Her knwledge was limited,,, anyway she was so impressed with the way i answered all the questions,,, even a guy behind me was just trying to showoff inorder to get her attention.... Bt she nor jus send am............ Anyway... We finish theory,,, dem cme say dem go give every body free objective answers,,,, na im gift ask me wether ah go use the answer wey dem bring.... I just laugh tell her nooo,, she cme say she too nor go use o,, play play play play exam finish,,, na im this babe come meet me ask for ma number,, hehehehe,, she cme say she go call me that night....lol ,, immediately i reach house i remember say my fone charging point get fault,, i quick go abuma for ringroad go repair the fone,,,, because i nor wan miss the call ooo...lol at about 8:00PM my fone ring,,, i quick pick am " me:helo ,, gift:helo is this oyibo ( i fair wella nw) ,, me: yes bt my name is miracle,,,, gift: laughs.. Am sorry its me gift i collected your number today in school,, me: oh,, gift hw are you?, hpe you are home nw?... Gift: yes i just called to check on u,, emm this is my number ,, pls save it ,,,ooo,,me: lollz ok i will,, thanks for the call,, goodnyt,,gift: yea switdreams.... After the exams,,,, i was at hme for a month awaiting both my gce result and admision status,,, nw admision status is out,,, am still awaiting my gce result,,,,,,,,,,,, pls drop ur comments,, ah nid to attend burial ooo lolz

Episode 1


On a sunny saturday afternoon, i just returned from a marriage ceremony that took place in my church, I was expecting my my friend "osas" to have dropped my admission printout with my dad because he was the only one at home as at the time i got home, but to my dismay, osayande didnt show up
well since i was tired and hungry , i decided to freshen up and then rest for a while before, going over to his house to find out my admission status, i just had lunch, and was about taking a short nap, wen i heard a knock on my door, "who goes there?" i asked,,,,, "miracle oya show fast fast na me osas" osas answered from outside,, i went outside to see osas standing with wilson, wilson is a guy who lives in a house next to mine, i met im through osas,he is very intelligent and decent, as a matter of fact, we do refer to him as pastor, hes in uniben studying civil engineering , wilson smiled and said "miracle just dy smile, smile ooo because u don gin admision oo" "which course?" i asked,,,, "my guy na optometry dem knack u o, congrats" said osas,,,, immediately i jumped and screamed,, i was so overjoy, i ran to my dads room and woke him up,, and broke the good news to him,, he was so happy,, and proud of me,, but then theres still one huddle to scale.. And thats making my o"level papers(ssce/gce)....i wrote waec in 2010 and had 5 credits excluding maths and physics.. Nw that same year,, i enrolled neco gce,,,, ofcourse i failed again this time F9 allthrough..... Nonetheless i enrolled jamb the nxt yr and passed it,, i also passed my post jamb,,,bt i still had nt made my papers complete in ma ssce,,, so i enrolled for waec gce that year through the help of one mr nelson who collected 20K for both registration and runs #winks,, not that i was not bright enough o, but that neco gce stuff made me lost faith in my self,,, on the first day of the exam,, i gat to the exam centre quite early,,,that day we were having alternative to practicals in chemistry,,, that day i met two frnds of mine,, clive and samson,,, the three of us survey the area before the time for the exam came..... Menh u nid to see the sodt babes wey dy there",,, gurls from upss and udss tander for there oo lol,, scoping things for de bosses,,,,, time came for us to get into the hall,, only for us to discover dat mr nelson didnt show up,, i wasnt bothered... Because chemistry was not ma problem,,, lest i forget,, a very sexy chick sat beside me dat day,,, a ss2 student frm upss, by name dilys jones,, dark ,slim, with nice figure,, her problem be say she dull and she cme dy form put sef,,, anyway that day fly pass,,,, we waka go aus go prepare for the next paper,, which is geography.....

The chronicles of a nerdy uniben student