₦airaland Forum

Hi all, I am a young SA woman dating an Igbo man. We've been together for 3 years. We have a 7 months old daughter. When my parents found out I am pregnant by a Nigerian man they freaked! called me a druggy and all sorts and asked me to cut him out of my life and the baby's life. I refused because I don't support the whole thing where a child will grow up with separate parents. Don't get me wrong my parents raised me well they are just stereotyped and prejudiced. My point is i chose my bf vs my family, for my child's sake and because it's the right thing to do. Having said this I expected my relationship with my partner to be great. Especially after all we've endured with my family. I expected him to value me as his woman, to appreciate me and to make me feel special and I'm not getting all these things. for me romance, affection and affirmation have always been important to me. But I don't get either unless he would like me to do something for him that's when he'd throw in I love you or my beautiful wife either than that I hardly hear those words. We recently celebrated our anniversary and I thought because on a normal day I'm hardly made to feel special maybe on our anniversary he'd try to make feel special. But nothing. He never says sorry. Doesnt see the need to. It really hurts. Iv communicated to him a couple of times how important all these things are to me. Especially because I'm not crazy over money and materialistic things. I'm after his heart and all those small things that mean so much. But I'm not getting this. I really need help because I'm not sure if it's a culture thing, personality thing or I'm just stuck with a man whose not really into me. Coz I believe your wife doesn't need to nag u to tell her she's beautiful or you love her or you're sorry for hurting her feelings those things should happen naturally. Please help me because I really am no sure if I'm just forcing a relationship out of nothing. We planning to get married and I wouldn't want to get into marriage with someone who's not happy with me visa versa. I don't believe in divorce and broken homes. Want to raise my child well. Please make me understand if my expectations are not important and then what kind of expectations should i have to be sane.