₦airaland Forum

Expression: Sweating like a Christmas goat

Meaning: Sweating profusely. I don’t know if anyone has ever seen a goat sweating on Christmas day. I’ve never seen a goat sweat at all. And even if goats can sweat, what makes a “Christmas” goat sweat more then every other goat when they’re bound to share the same fate. Abi goat don dey check calendar?


Expression: Fowl don born turkey

Meaning: The unexpected has happened, usually in a negative sense. Well I guess this one was borne out of the impossibility of a chicken (fowl) hatching a turkey.

Expression:Thin like bonga fish

Meaning: Very slim or very thing. For the record, I have never seen bonga fish before, except maybe I have but didn’t know its name. Is the fish that thin?

Expression: Dey form bad guy

Meaning: You’re acting or you’re looking good. Usually used in a complimentary sense. Literally, why would anyone want to act as a bad guy?

Expression: If you no like am, go hug transformer OR go enter lagoon

Meaning: Your opinion is makes no difference or you have to accept it wether you like it or not. A bit extreme, this one. Ahn ahn, why you go ask person make im go hug transformer? No be die be dat? Abi na dat transformer wey be robot dem dey talk about? If na all dis yankee pikin wey their head dey spark, dem fit go hug the transformer o, or jump inside lagoon.

Expression: Na who mess? Na who throw bomb?

Meaning: Who gassed? Or who polluted the air (omo, I no know as I go take translate dis wan o). This one is just plain funny. No comment.

Expression: Are you mad? You dey crase? You don smoke igbo? Abi you drink kai kai?

Meaning: Actually, these are just rhetorical questions. Try answering and get a slap as a reward. It’s just one of those expressions we Nigerians use when we’re angry. Besides, what is the use of asking a mad/crazy/drunk/high person if they’re mad/crazy/drunk/high?

Expression:Nonsense and ingredient

Meaning: Has no real meaning as well. It’s just a dismissive statement Nigerians make to show they regard your line of argument as rubbish. Nonsense, I understand. The ingredients…….someone is going to have to explain that to me.

Expression: I go slap your destiny

Meaning: No real meaning, another expression we throw up when we are angry. How you can see someone’s destiny to slap it is completely beyond me.

Expression: The person we tief my money, ehn, im go die!

Meaning: It has no meaning as well, just a curse we Nigerians place to scare people that have done something to confess or to get someone that has stolen something to return it. A silly curse, considering all of us will eventually die one day.

Expression: See me see trouble

Meaning: Why are you giving me trouble? Of course I can see you but the trouble is a bit more difficult to locate. Yu might have to point it out. Why I have to see the trouble is beyond me, anyway.

Expression: Your head no correct

Meaning: You’re stupid. The person telling you this is most likely not a psychiatrist. Why they have the authority to tell you your head is off boggles the mind.

Expression: Two of us go enter the same trouser

Meaning: You will be in trouble with me. Enter the same trouser o, not wear the same trouser. Hmm, just imagine two grown adults trying to fit their bodies into one pair of trousers.

Expression: Cold don dey catch me.

Meaning: I’m beginning to feel cold. You would imagine cold was a human being, and that the person has been trying to run away from cold for a long time.

That’s it, that’s just some of them! Watch out for the part two of this post!

Here’s an easy tutorial for all our Naija girls dying to lay their hands on some Brazilian hair. You don’t need to pay N60,000/N80,000/N120,000/sell your father’s house/steal your mother’s jewelry to get some anymore!

1. Get a Brazilian woman.
2. Shave her bald.
3. Congratulations, you have premium Brazilian hair!

They feel left out of the whole get married and then divorce drama. They want in on all that shit!!!!!

Was funny, but only an imaginative mind would really find it funny, cos it's more like a story. Better delivered in person than posted online.

You know i love comedy and i love laughing and i've been a long time member of cracked.com, America's biggest humours site and i thought to myself, why can't we have something like that? a site dedicated to nigerian humour/comedy/crazy/unbelievable stuff? so i'm creating a site for that purpose exactly. i'm almost done with it so it'll soon be ready. Anyways here's a screenshot and if you want to check out the pre finished site, visit www.naijaslap.3eeweb.com . cheerio!