₦airaland Forum

Denial na water. Didn't you consult your ward chairman about the zoning arrangement before purchasing your form. Ana akoyeri

frozen70:
The man is a case study

The choice of reconciliation is base on your sister not on him the husband

Let him say it out publicly in the church that all he said about your sister, his wife are all lies

Then let the church be part of the reconciliation meeting where he will promise that he will never treat her less

Dont speak for your sister before you will be blamed for their own problems

As for you, may you never be in a situation where you will call him for help

You spoke really well. Thanks for for your input.

Edisanaiby:
Bro, if your sister is legally married to him then you don't have any say in their marriage, commot body cos even d Bible says dt what God has join together let no man put asunder, leave them to decide,u don't have any right to allow your married sister to come and stay with you talk less of saying you don't want them to reconcile,remember that one day you will always get married,does it mean your sister is a saint??

So you prefer i let my sister die in a toxic marriage than to rescue her. I won't let it happen.

Gerrard59:
OP's tale is a fairy one. Why has Seun turned his forum to a lie-forming platform? Why create monikers who create fake threads upandown?

This is my WhatsApp number. Chat me up let me prove it to you. +234 810 634 0012

2mch:
This case is a lesson to those who talk too much, talk recklessly and worry more about their image than their family. At the end of the day when you over talk and spoil the reputation because you are selling a lie to the world about who you truly are. You close the door for reconciliation.

That Pastor will never admit the truth to his sheep because, that will tell them that hes a liar and such person will rather die before they let the world see their mask off.

He already made his choice very clearly. Also, your dad needs to make it very clear to him that where ever you are in this world whether hes dead or alive as her male relative, your roof is a roof that represents her fathers house. so where ever she is and she needs shelter, he approves of her stay with you.

The most important thing is for her to rebuild her life and regain the trust and respect of her kids outside a very oppressive and wicked environment. Let her kids see the truth of who she is independently and make their own decisions since they have been groomed to hate her.

Marriage should uplift and improve your life. It should be a partnership but when one is working as a single unit it cannot work as it should. Marriage does not mean your sister should die in a bad union, she may be a wife but shes also a Mother, daughter and sister which are all just as important.

If being his wife is not working then the others must work and she must live long enough to be there for those kids. Her life is the most important not a marriage. She can marry someone else but can never regain her life if she loses it in this marriage.

Thanks alot. I acknowledge your input.

spiceadole:
Your sister will go back, not because of the kids but because she is weak and doesn't want to be shamed for being a divorcee. Also,she doesn't have money and can't survive alone without the man.
That's why women return to their abusive husbands but they use the "kid" factor to cover up.
My parents were separated when I and my siblings were already adults and living alone but my mum kept saying she went back because of the kids. Which kids?
Lol

That's the truth. She's 100% dependant on the him and the man used it as a weapon against her. She doesn't have any job or business while at his place.

AlhajiNendez:
Is the pastor based in Abakpa, Enugu??

Benin City Edo state

2mch:
But you said he sends the wife message through the childs phone.

yes that was the last time. He blocked her afterwards.

2mch:
Edo State has a very active Ministry which should be able to sort this man out for your sister. But make sure you have enough evidence of his doings. They will call him, warn him and try to mediate. But since shes not yet ready for custody, the warning with presence of police and in front of the children should be enough.

Thanks alot. I really appreciate you. This information is very helpful.

2mch:
If she doesnt want the marriage again she should go to court, file for divorce and demand custody of the children with witness testimony and evidence. Infact declare shes concerned for all their safety and pending the divorce demand they stay with a relative where they are safe.

If you know someone in Government, they can help especially if Edo State has social services or gender based violence and abuse services. Let her get their support, start reporting and documenting all his abusive actions. So by the time shes ready, a lot of things will be in place.

Let her try to keep in contact with her kids since they have their phones. Just sending them prayers daily is enough. When they are old enough they will see the man for who he is and may even run away to their mum if he retains custody.

She's not in contact with the children because the man has blocked her using their phone both on WhatsApp and phone calls.

Kobojunkie:
1. All the more reason why she not only should make her divorce official by way of the courts, but also file papers relating to custody so it is established that the marriage is indeed over. 😒

2. Yes, I can. Many Nigerian women are in sexless marriages with husbands who instead get their sexual needs met by women outside of the marriage, while the wives simply serve as maids/and nannies to their children. Nigerian wives are majorly endurance wives, literally women who suffer some of the same treatment as slaves would in the name of marriage. 😒

3. That is probably where he goes with his sidechicks to get his knobs shined and polished by other women, while his wife (maid and nanny) takes care of his children and DNA goals at the other home. 😒

4. While your sister may be a victim in this case, remember that she, too is an adult and chose to stay in a marriage with a man who did not appreciate or value her as a human being all this time. The question is now whether she is truly done with being undervalued or if she wants more of the same subjugation and humiliation. 😒

I have asked her this question countless times and her answer is that she doesn't want the marriage again but she said if she can have custody of the children or at least custody of one of the children especially the youngest one she will be fine. For now she's not financially independent and she currently stays with me. So bringing her child or children into my place won't be a good idea.

Fiscus105:
Do you hear from pastor side before you call him madman? The way you people react with emotion ehn, no wonder, lot of crises globally.

Maybe, Op is the one that lying pathologically you don't, you quickly given all sort of names because of one sided accusation.

Who they will give chance to talk that won't side himself? Learn how to calm and neutral going forward, it would help you take good decisions, most importantly if you opportune to get to leadership positions.

There's no reason to lie about this. If you don't mind sending me your WhatsApp number let me send you some evidence to back up my claims.

2mch:
Where do they live? In Lagos? If your sister wants her kids and to divorce this man which is the best move, just drag all the evidence and take it to court. In fact he wont want this to get on social media or hes finished. Hes obviously mentally unstable and shoult not have custody of those kids.

But approach him with caution so he does not harm them. Maybe if they come for visit then you people strike and make sure to expose him, get government and social media activists in court. For now, ignore him till the right time. Ensure your sister is well skilled even if na Fashion design so she can support herself and kids when they are finally together.

They stay in Benin City Edo state. My sister was into graphics design, printing and branding before she got married but he stopped after marriage. I have enrolled her in a computer centre were she needs to upgrade her skills.

Kobojunkie:
Women without financial independence are preys to the wolves masquerading as husband material out there. 🥱

2. Well, it is his word against hers in that case, right? Are the children with the man or with your sister? If they are with him, then she should still go to court to ensure that she at least pay her share of child support to him in the meantime. That way, when she is finally becomes financially independent and then files for shared custody, there would be court records to show that despite not being able to care for the kids,she was at least doing her part as there parent. 🥱

If the kids are already with her, she still should go to the courts to end the marriage, and to work on the custody issues. So long as he is not violent towards the children, he should make contributions to their card and education.

Whatever decision, getting the courts involved is a good way to go, in my opinion.

The children are with the man and he wants to use them as a bait to lure her back. The only reason why the man wants her back is because of house chores, cooking, school runs and taking care of the children. Could you believe that this man hasn't slept with her and stopped eating at home for 8months+. He went and rent a single room for himself claiming that its where he normally goes to pray. Out of 7days in a week he sleeps their twice or three times. My sister doesn't have a single say in that marriage.

NotOfThisWorld:
You don't go back to a bad person because of the kids but they should be a big part of your reason for leaving. Umm, she can always see the kids and spend time with them? Is she going to leave them with him? They're going to grow up to be like him. With the way he lies, he may also brainwash them into turning against her. Those kids aren't safe in his hands if she leaves them behind. If anything, they should be in her custody while he sends her child support, and he can visit them supervised. I would not trust a pathological liar (and who has already turned against their mother) with kids.

He has already started brainwashing the kids. This man will record a voice note cursing my sister and forward it to the daughter and ask her to send it to her mother. It's not as if my sister blocked him o. He told the children that their mother abandoned them and is currently living with another man. The last daughter did a birthday last month and my sister wanted to buy a gift and send across to her this man warned her not to buy anything for his children with the dirty money she collects from men. He has told the eldest daughter to her both on WhatsApp and phone call. This man is a complete devïl.

Kobojunkie:
If she is trying to use the children as excuse to get back with a toxic man such as that, then your sister is still not connected with reality. How does her going back to such a toxic man help the children in this case? How can children be happy living with a man who denigrates and humiliates their mother every chance he gets? Ask her to make that make sense to you.

Assuming the man has never abused the children in any way, there is a way for the two to remain involved in the lives of the children without the two parents living under the same roof. If she is legally married to the man, she can take him to court and file for shared custody of the children, where the children spend some days or weeks out of each month with either parent. That way, they can spend equal time out of each week or month with their father and then their mother, while ensuring both parents are involved in the lives of the children.😒

Thanks alot. As for now she's staying with me in my 3bedroom apartment. I am also married with 3kids. She's staying in one room in the apartment. She was a full-time housewife and was 100% dependant on the man, but i have enrolled her in a place that she's learning graphics design and printing because that was her job in the village before she got married but the man didn't allow her to work. I want her to upgrade her knowledge and learn new things. Considering the issue of shared custody, she doesn't have her own place yet and the man said that i am his sworn enemy for life because I allowed my sister to stay in my house instead of allowing her to go to the village and stay with my parents. He might tell the court that his children are not safe under my roof.

NotOfThisWorld:
Upon all these lies, him saying he no longer wants the marriage (something she should be saying ooo) and slandering her name with false accusations, does your sister herself want to continue the marriage? You've examples of his ways going back to 2014, so this is clearly how he is and he will not change. If she knows what's good for her, she'll desist from returning to him because he sounds dangerous. You and your family need to sit down and seriously talk sense into her.

My sister said she doesn't want the marriage again but they have 3kids together. 13, 11 and 8 yrs. Its only because of the kids that she's considering going back but I told her that she can always see the kids and spend time with them.

Amotolongbo:
You went to stay with the husband to your younger sister for 4months? 😳
Shame is catching me on your behalf.
You totally lost the respect from the bro in-law doing that

bro i understand and regretted that decision. The skill i wanted to learn as at then isn't available in my village so i had to move to a bit more developed area.

My brother-in-law is a pastor with his own ministry. He’s been married to my younger sister for 14 years, but he’s a pathological liar who fabricates and exaggerates things effortlessly.

For example, if you eat at his house once or twice, he’ll claim he’s the reason you’re alive that without him, hunger would have killed you.

I stayed with them for 4 months in 2014 after youth service, learning a skill that should have taken 2 years. I left early because of his behavior and rented my own place by December 2014.

He now tells people he “rescued me from the village” when my father abandoned me, but I was 27 at the time, not a child that can be abandoned.

He claims the food I ate in his house for 4months (Aug–Dec 2014) was worth over ₦2 million. In reality, I ate once a day (dinner) because I left home at 7am and returned at 6pm except on Sundays, when I ate twice.

He says he no longer wants to be married to my sister, and my family has accepted his decision, but he’s slandering her: claiming she has sex video chats with men for money, has a boyfriend, and that she has even poisoned him once, causing him to pass out and come back to life, none of these allegations he can prove

My sister has been staying with me for over 3 months, but he's telling his church members that my sister is currently staying with another man.

Recently, he called my father asking for a meeting to reconcile, but I told my father the marriage must end. He keeps pleading for reconciliation.

I don’t know what he really wants from my sister.

victorVIC1:
As someone who also relocated via the student route and saw how some students deserted their spouses after school, I would advise you to be the main applicant (student). Project Management is a good course in the UK. In addition, your wife does not necessarily need a master's degree as a registered nurse to thrive in the nursing field. So with or without, she go dey alright.

She's not going for masters. I am talking about working in the UK after writing all the necessary tests.

Focusmind:
Sponsor your wife. She stands a better chance and more prospects of getting better job, even in other places like the US. With 8 years experience, she should sit for her NCLEX and extend her job search beyond the UK. Don't listen to people advising otherwise. If she's determined and knows what she's doing, push her more to succed while you encourage her. On your own part, study trade related courses or find jobs in care sector to use and hold body. That your profession will be difficult to see job in the UK.

Thanks alot

MrSly:
I would sponsor my wife without even thinking it twice. Na you know your wife so figure it out, if you can trust her.

I trust her 100%

omoredia:
Are you yoruba? Let me start from there.

No. I am igbo

I am married with Children, my wife is a registered nurse with about 8yrs working experience.

Please which one would you strongly advice Between Sponsoring my wife's Nursing career to the UK or Enroll for Msc in Construction Project Management in the UK?

My aim for the Msc is as a means to jakpa and reside in the UK to continue working not that I really needed the Msc.

Please i need your candid advice. Thanks.

I am married with Children, my wife is a registered nurse with about 8yrs working experience.

Please which one would you strongly advice Between Sponsoring my wife's Nursing career to the UK or Enroll for Msc in Construction Project Management in the UK?

My aim for the Msc is as a means to jakpa and reside in the UK to continue working not that I really needed the Msc.

Please i need your candid advice. Thanks.

I am married with Children, my wife is a registered nurse with about 8yrs working experience.

Please which one would you strongly advice Between Sponsoring my wife's Nursing career to the UK or Enroll for Msc in Construction Project Management in the UK?

My aim for the Msc is as a means to jakpa and reside in the UK to continue working not that I really needed the Msc.

Please i need your candid advice. Thanks.

BrighterSyde:
In case you choose to japa there are far cheaper schools. Don’t waste your money on a 15k school.

Please give me list of schools below 15k

commoditiesnig:
contact is on my signature.. you can write me

Let's forget about it. I don't want any external conversation.

Please drop it here.

commoditiesnig:
I actually replied with two detailed businesses but NL closed it.

Ok drop your email I’ll contact you.

He wants to convert visit visa to working visa as how nah 🤣🤣

doggedfighter:
Hahaha 🤣🤣

You saw through him fast 😂

henrydan:
Under a tripartite arrangement, I can get you Canada visit to work visa. I’m not in Nigeria at the moment but if you’re interested, I can link you up with my lawyer, you sign the necessary documents. My company process your documents, you arrive Canada with a visit visa and then we assist you transition to a work visa.

The entire process takes 12 weeks (3 months, from when you apply until when you receive your visa).

My number is plus two five four seven zero two six zero seven two zero six.

Even if you put juju for mouth e no go work.

Please kindly share the business ideas. Note: I haven't done business before but as an igbo man i know I can adapt.

commoditiesnig:
My brother if your intention is to japa to UK just jettison the idea. UK has been changing/changed their immigration rules its doesn’t favour post masters students anymore, max 6months or so you’ll be asked to leave/change status. My both siblings with their wives are there.. both wives completed their masters last year but UK govt no gree extend their stay.. one of them even had to recently move to a S/American country.

My suggestion:
1. Do business here although you can still travel.. there’s good business proposal I can connect you with that’ll earn you really good returns.

2. Try another European country such as Spain, Germany, Scandinavian countries (Sweden/Norway) for Masters. They can extend your stay from student to residency.