₦airaland Forum

@omega25, that's a great idea, I'll do that - no point suffering alone. Thanks!

@obowunmi, honestly, my gut 'can't believe' what I'm getting myself into, but I guess if you have no frame of reference really, it's only natural to be worried.
@googles, no I haven't found potholes (lol) yet, I'm mostly just paranoid & second-guessing everything he says.
@bayleaf & Echez, that's my biggest worry. Imagine being left to pick up the pieces when that's what his motives turn out to be,
Spiked cylinder: I think I'll try that, thanks.

Thanks everyone for your input, if it doesn't work out, I'll come back here to rant and rave

Dear all, please give your honest opinions regarding this situation:

I'm a woman in my late 20s, and I'm only resorting to posting here because it's a topic that I can't really raise with my friends, acquaintances without them being 'biased' against the guy in question.

I'm in a relationship with a Nigerian man (it's only been a few weeks). He's in his mid-30s, a really a likeable guy, declares undying love for me (this was quite soon after we met). He's been working in SA for a few years (not a permanent resident yet though; I'm South African). I've met his friends and some siblings, know where he lives and he has really tried to be very open with me from day1. He says he'd like to have a future with me, marriage, kids and talking of either getting his mother to come down for a visit or I visit his family with him. This is all good and well, impressive in fact, but I'm terrified at the super-fast pace at which this seems to be going and whether it's genuine.

Based on many stories I've come across locally AND on this very forum about women who feel duped at the end of what seemed like a dream-come-true romance, I'm left wondering if he's got any ulterior motives, Now I know you probably think this is silly, 'how the hell are YOU supposed to know his motives'? I just don't know how to handle this. I'm constantly wondering about how truthful he's being about every single little thing he says and nit-picking his stories to see if I can pick up any discrepancies. It's driving me insane. I just feel like I'm living for the moment, with no idea if he could turn out to be something else a week, month, year/s from now.
I think what makes it even more difficult is the fact that him being non-South African makes the (my) usual 'screening' procedures useless. Basically, I can't figure him out and I'm worried sick.

Sorry for the long post. Consider it a rant if you can't give an opinion,