(We see Mary Best sitting on a rug in her living room, working on a notebook computer anchored on her knee, with her back to the single chair she has)

MARY (thought): I can’t believe I made so much money this month. Yes! My current savings will last at least 5 years. I think it’s time for me to start planning my super-woman project.

(Next, we see John standing in front of the door of a house. He hits the door)

MARY (thought): Oh no, not another august visitor. I hate it when people don’t call before showing up at your doorstep. And it’s not as if they don’t have mobile phones – they are just being inconsiderate.

(John continues knocking the door hard)

JOHN (thought): She has to be at home. I have nowhere else to go!

JOHN: Mary, it’s me!

MARY (thought): That’s a lovely baritone voice, but I don’t recognize it at all, and I don’t think I’m acquainted with anybody called “me”.

JOHN: Mary, are you in? Please open the door!

(John continues to knock the door of Mary’s house. Back inside, Mary continues to ignore the person at the door)

MARY (thought):
Besides, I’m not in the mood to accommodate visitors right now. I’m just too busy. Maybe he’ll leave if I pretend not to be at home. Maybe, if I just keep quiet,--

JOHN: Mary, it’s John Doe, Your baby brother!

MARY (thought): !

(Mary drops her laptop on the table next to her and rises to open the door)

MARY (thought): How did he find out where I live? I hope he hasn’t leaked the information to my parents. That would cause too much trouble; I don’t even want to think about it.

MARY (whispering to self): Mary, calm down. One step at a time. Open the door.

(Mary opens the door to see John. He’s darker and taller than she is. His goofy smile shows off perfect teeth.)

JOHN: I found you!

(She stretches her right hand towards his chin as she wipes a lone tear off her cheek and smiles)

MARY: How?

JOHN: I don’t think I can tell you --–

MARY: Why not let’s sit down first? I have only one sofa but we can manage.

JOHN (thought): Wonders shall never end. Has Mary completely changed?

JOHN: Ok. Help me with my bags.

(At this, Mary rebuked him with her eyes)

MARY: If you think you can ---

JOHN: Ok, I’ll say it nicely. Please, sister, will you help me with my bags?

MARY: Ok. Bring me the lightest one!

JOHN (thought): When we were growing up, Mary had no interest in guests and how to them feel at home. She was more concerned about whether their visits were “necessary”. If not, she was inclined to send them back. Obviously, she has not changed!

(Finally, they get to their respective seats and Mary picks up the laptop again)

JOHN: So this is why you wanted us to sit down first? You haven’t changed at all!

MARY: That’s because, you see, people never change. Adults, to be more specific. You know the last group of people who don’t change? Parents! (winks)

JOHN: Don’t tell me that you’re still bitter at daddy and mummy.

MARY: And what if I am?

JOHN: You’re rich, and you’re famous. You should be able to forgive them now.

MARY: I’m not famous ---

JOHN: On the Internet, you are!

MARY: Bingo. So that’s how you found me.

JOHN (thought): Dammit. She tricked me into revealing my secret.

MARY: I hope you haven’t told daddy and mummy. That would cause too much trouble.

JOHN: It won’t cause as much trouble as your disappearing act.

MARY (thought): That means he didn’t tell them. I can read him like a book.

MARY: It’s not my fault that they were shocked by my leaving. I made it clear to each one of you that I was going to disappear for a few years on the eve of my eighteenth birthday. I made it so clear.

JOHN: But they didn’t believe you. None of us took you seriously.

MARY: And whose fault is that?

JOHN: Good point, it seems, but do you know that what you did tore mom and dad apart? Do you know how much they suffered?

MARY: Thanks to you, they didn’t suffer quite as much as one would expect.

JOHN: They brought you into this world. They fed you, clothed you, educated you, and brought you up in the way they felt was best for you as a woman. And you disappeared just like that. Isn’t that ungrateful of you?

MARY: According to my way of thinking, it was not.

JOHN: Your way of thinking is too selfish in my opinion.

MARY: Who asked you?


JOHN: I’m sure you can justify all your actions with dry logic, but I don’t want to hear any of it.

MARY: If that were so, you wouldn’t be talking to me.

JOHN: Miss Know-It-All.

MARY: Mister Cute And Lovable.

(John can’t hold back the smile)

JOHN: You should at least have called to say “hi, I’m alive”.

MARY: I forgot your mobile phone number. Perhaps you should have posted it on that little blog you started 6 months ago?

JOHN (hotly): You have some nerve, woman. Blaming me for not contacting you when you’re the one who disappeared. You could easily have checked the fucking phone number through my fucking blog by using any whois database!

(Mary falls back into her seat and holds her head)

MARY: Unbelievable! I went through all that trouble to secure my anonymity and I yet was stupid enough to use my real address during domain registration.

JOHN (thought): Damnit, she tricked me again. My sister is a fox.

JOHN: Ok, you got me there, but if you were so paranoid about privacy how could you forget to close that security hole?

MARY: Somehow it just skipped my mind.

(Through her laptop, Mary starts fixing the security lapse that made it possible for John to find her.)

JOHN: So you have wireless Internet access on your laptop.

MARY: Yes.

JOHN: Can I use it tonight?

MARY: Tonight? Won’t you be staying at a hotel or something?

JOHN: I’m staying here!

MARY: Well I hope you can afford it.

JOHN: What? You’re going to charge your own brother for staying in your house?

MARY: Of course. Nothing is free in life. Not even food!

JOHN: You’re not serious.

MARY: John, what if I offer you a part-time job that you will use to pay for accommodation in this house? You have certain talents I lack.

JOHN: Isn’t that manipulation? I thought you said you hate manipulation.

MARY: (sigh) Ok, I’m not going to charge you for your current stay. But I know you very well. You want to spend your housing allowance on something else and stay here even after resumption.

JOHN: Resumption?

MARY: John Doe, fresh student of International Relations at the Central University of Afriland. I know everything!

JOHN: So you’ve been following my life like this yet you couldn’t be bothered to make one phone call?

MARY: I’m sorry. It was not as straightforward as you think.

JOHN: Is anything ever straightforward with you?

MARY: It’s not my fault, it’s the way life is.

JOHN: Are the rest of us not living the same life? Why must you always be different?

MARY: I can’t live your life. I can only live mine.

(They spend some time just staring into space. Then Mary slips her hand into John’s hand.)

MARY: I’m going to contact Daddy and Mummy tonight, but I won’t tell them where I live yet. I’m not yet ready for an emotional reunion. Please understand.

JOHN: I don’t understand it, but I guess I’ll have to accept it. (smiling) Afterall, I don’t want my landlord to throw me out of her house!

MARY: That’s the spirit. Hope you haven’t forgotten offer? –

JOHN: But first, I need to eat. First rule of hospitality, feed your guest!

MARY: In the fridge, there are two packs of friend rice and fish. Take one and warm it in my microwave. Fortunately, we have power at this time. You’ll also find some fruits and drinks.

JOHN (thinking): Well, at least she told me where to get the food. That’s an improvement. When we were young, she never cared for the role of hostess.

JOHN: What about you?

MARY: Don’t worry, I’ll find something to snack on. My housekeeper will be around tomorrow morning to prepare more food.

JOHN: You have a housekeeper?

MARY: How do you think I keep this place clean? You know how much I hate housework. *chuckles*

MARY (thinking): And tomorrow morning, Deborah is going to show him hell.

---

This is the unedited draft of the first chapter of the story of a great capitalist woman that I was working on. I hope this chapter is something that you can enjoy, because I'm going to start the story afresh.

this is so kool really K O O L good job

Glad you like it. How do you see that Mary girl?

Seun,
Apparently, you prefer Mary to Joshua-Alli. Because, you have spent more time on her personality. And thus made her more fully developed than him.

This story has depth already and the high drama keeps one reading.

I prefer this one to the other one.

Mary seems to be an existentialist though.

I think the reason Mary's character is a bit better developed is because her story was written later.

You said Mary is existentialist? How so?

Hi Seun this is a nice one. I love it, also wuld luv to read the concluding part so that I can learn from Mary.

I'm happy that you love Mary. I was wondering if our women will hate her for her nerve.

That's heartwarming. What words would you use to describe Mary's character?

Mary seems very much like an existentialist who is not moved by sentiments, but by reason. She has already made up her mind about life, and resolute. Petty emotions will not appeal to her rationale.

Look at her interaction with her brother.

I prefer every Nigerian girl to be like her. Because, as at present most of our girls and women are emotional cry babies and that is why their greatest ambition in the world is to earn a good salary, marry, have children, have a good social rank in the society, die happily and get a decent burial. And to me, that is intellectually lame. And I find most of them really annoying. Because, most them would rather be caught fxxking than discussing the dynamics of human capital development and if we continue like this Nigeria will continue lagging behind in the march of civilization. The leaders we have show that we are intellectually bankrupt.

They want to ape America and they forget that Americans have paid their dues during the Great Depression.

We need role models for the nation building of a new Nigeria.

I am really sick of the present state of Nigeria as the picture attached shows.

I think the reaction to this story so far suggests that Nigerian women (and men) have feminist dreams.

[size=4pt]My problem with fiction is that, though I know that through photo comics I can portray and promote my own characters and stories and influence people's opinions, I do not know how to make money through photocomics yet. And I don't see myself agonising over a story and its characters only for people not to be wiling or able to pay for it!

I love Mary as much as you do, but how can I bring her to life without profits that can be reinvested monthly?[/size]

Posted on: Yesterday at 05:46:27 PMPosted by: Seun

My problem with fiction is that, though I know that through photo comics I can portray and promote my own characters and stories and influence people's opinions, I do not know how to make money through photocomics yet. And I don't see myself agonising over a story and its characters only for people not to be wiling or able to pay for it!

I love Mary as much as you do, but how can I bring her to life without profits that can be reinvested monthly?

The intellectual and professional independence of Mary should make her attractive to many people in any medium you choose to portray and dramatize her to a mass audience.

I like the simplicity and cost-effectiveness of photocomics but I can't make money from it.

Drama and TV production would probably make money, but I'm a complete newbie in those areas!!

Seun,
Whenever you are ready, let me know.

Kiki has warned me not to talk too much about myself online again.

I have sent you yet another email on this story. Hope you got it?

Seun,
I got it.

Good work Seun,
You balanced the character of Mary nicely. She's tough but not stiff, she's not overly demostrative in her affections, but she's not cold either. I would love to see how the story turns out what and really makes her great.

Hmm. Wow, you like her personality too, but I notice most people didn't rate the story at all.

Seun:

That's heartwarming. What words would you use to describe Mary's character?

SHE'S AN ARROGANT BITCH!!!!! _{but i luv her}

i love mary's nerve!

ive been praying for the nerve to run away from home one day

my folks are too manipulative. i cant even have a life in the house! they made me quit my first job and they want me to quit the second one but im not giving them the chance.

my dad chose the course i studied in the uni cos he said journalists never get married _{i wanted to be one}

one day, i hope i'll be courageous like mary cos i dont feel fufilled!

Seun:

I think the reaction to this story so far suggests that Nigerian women (and men) have feminist dreams.

i love mary's nerve!

ive been praying for the nerve to run away from home one day

my folks are too manipulative. i cant even have a life in the house! they made me quit my first job and they want me to quit the second one but im not giving them the chance.

my dad chose the course i studied in the uni cos he said journalists never get married _{i wanted to be one}

one day, i hope i'll be courageous like mary cos i dont feel fufilled!

Aww, I understand your plight. If you leave home right now, it won't count as running away. You'll just be leaving.

Seun,

I knda laughed reading your story,I don't know why but I did all the same.I think you make a good Children's Book writer as all your characters from your stories are ideologist living in a real world,the exact recipe for a children's book.No matter our individual believes we are still products of our society but your characters always seem to be immuned from this

1.Is Mary an African living in Europe/Nigeria that would ever think of asking her Younger Brother to pay for food and board in her own house?

2.Why would Mary be pissed that her brother came visiting;why is she reluctant about family contact that only her mother had her mobile number and her address?Surely members of her family must be able to get in contact with her with being webmasters!

3.I think that the next installment of the Mary saga you must give her background and why she is cold to wards her younger brother.

You are an idealist,Male Feminist is there such a word and it reflects in your stories but you must understand that you are writing for adults  who live in the real world where things are far from ideal.

Waiting for the next part,

Cheers

Am I the only one not impressed by this drama/story?

aren't you supposed to be a feminist?

ziddy:

aren't you supposed to be a feminist?

Were you addressing me sir? If your reply is in the negative, I do apologise.

If however, your reply is in the affirmative, I do not know what being a feminist has got to do with my comments. As far as I am concerned, the story does not cut it [that is my opinion of course and you may disagree if you wish].

So?

Seun:

So?

What do u mean by so?