₦airaland Forum

Thank you so much sir. I will definitely try this. God help me.

May God bless you also sir.

klassic:
After reading your story, I feel for you bro. But I am so so ashamed of the comments herein.
Now back to the topic. Only you can stop this. It's not gonna be easy, but you will get thru if you have the will power. Follow these easy steps and remember to stick to it. You will fail and fall at times, but yes you will gradually work it out.
Step 1. If you have just one bank acct, open another were 75%of your salary goes to, you won't have online baking or atm card on this acct, you can only make over the counter withdrawals.
You are not allowed to touch it except it's an emergency which your sponsor(confidant must verify) if you don't have excess cash on you, you won't club or visit brothel no matter the urge.

Step 2: Deactivate online accounts if any. You can't subscribe if you don't have money in them.
You can have another bank acct with atm card from were you make your daily expenses. And if you have other source(s) of income apart from your salary, 75% of same goes to your aforesaid account after titling, while the balance 25% goes to your expenditure acct.

Step3: If you are a Christian, get a Christian brother or any other matured disciplined brother(somebody you respect, fear, love and lookup to) who is more of a mentor, and confide in him. Just ask him to help you thru your plans by keeping an eye on you. Calls you Friday evenings , Saturdays and Sundays at any hour to be sure you are home. And any time you are having the urge or desire to do sometime stupid call him for help before he finishes with you on the phone, the desire will be dead even if you had a Beatiful naked lady standing in front of you and seducing you. Remember you must keeping your phones switched on and no excuses . if no light find a means of charging them get a power bank or so.
This might be difficult, but you can do it. I mean you can approach him/her and share your problem with him. Just do a background check to be sure he is not a parrot or a judge. I asked you to conduct a background check, cos there are some brethren, that can't keep their mouth shut or hide secret. If they know their wife will know, her best friend and soon enough the entire community will know your problem. If you can't get any, get a shrink. But you might have to pay him to help u thru it.

Step 4: Create a 3 days no self-service, no porn, no club and no brothel plan on a check list. Once its 72hrs , get your check list, consider areas you failed and make cogent plans to strengthen it. Roll over for another 72hrs and just continue in that routine.
If you smoke and drink, reduce em too. Rather visit a cinema, attend a church program on weekends and don't be idle. Don't create room for idleness. Addiction trives when you are idle.

Step5: Print or write your to do list and paste them around your home, office and everywhere. What you see around you and read every time has a way of conditioning your brain waves and this in turn affect how you think, what you think and plan to do, desire or crave.
Remove any thing porn or anything the reminds you of it. Delete absolutely. Write it, type it and print out the steps we have listed above and paste em all over as a reminder you are on a mission.

Step6: If you have your set of hang out friends or friends that lead you or encourage you in this way of life/bad habits, delete em from your contact list. Cut them off totally. Let them know you no longer do shit.

Step7: Get some Christian tapes your play in your fone, your car, your office, laptop, home, etc. Anytime you feel like watching porn, watch that video or play the Xtain tape instead, the urge will leave. It might not be easy, continue in it even if you fail at the beginning, you will certainly make a turn around if you are determined.

Lastly, go out, get a matured and understanding lady you love, she will work you through it. Don't hide it from her, tell her and if she loves you, she will help you get through it and later on in life you guys can reminisce and make jokes about it.

Hope this helps, you can pm me or check my handle on how to reach me.

Congratulations. Asking for help is the biggest step to getting your problem solved.

ronald4lif:
But I'm bemused as to why you have to subscribe for porn sites. Aren't there free ones you can make do with

The free ones are not exotic.

Thank you so much.

I really appreciate this.

hglmkope:
The first stage to being delivered is your dissatisfaction with your present situation or condition. I am glad that you truly desire to drop this habit. Tell yourself everyday that I am going to stop this and gather the little self control you have within you (I am sure you still have it in you) to resist any temptation that may arise.
Like someone said earlier, it is a gradual process. I do not expect that you will stop having sex and be celibate at once. However, make efforts to stop. You can start by unsubscribing yourself from those porn site. Join a staff cooperative society, if you have one at your place of work, so that a significant amount of your salary will be diverted there and you will have only what you need. If you don't have any staff cooperative, you can open another account that you wont have any access to the ATM as someone suggested or better still, fix your money in the bank.

Most importantly, you need God. You probably may not know the power of a Short, Simple and Sincere prayer until you say it. You could just say, Dear God, if truly you are God and a help in time of need, please help me with this addiction. I am trying to make effort but I know I can't do it alone. Please help me to stop.

You may also want to dissociate yourself from friends with benefits that may want to lure you into sex.
I pray that God will help you to stop as you truly wish.

@YourMain, i have a job.

Good evening to everybody. Yes i had to create a new account as this is not something anybody will be proud of. I need advice. Matured audience please.

For the past decade, my life has been controlled by sex and porn. It all started when i was in my teenage age. I had this desire to see what happens when humans mate. Thats how it started until i fell in love with seeing under the shirts and skirts of women. I got so addicted that even in school (Secondary school then) i used to sneak into the female toilet to see females pee. I fell so much in love with porn since then. Years passed and i continued. My Phone, My computer, my web archives and drives all filled with Porn. As i write this, i am currently subscribed to over 15 porn sites in which i pay monthly to an average tune of $120/month.

It got to a point that i got tired of watching porn then i decided to have real sex. I went from brothel to brothel, had so many friends with benefits. I had so much sex over the years that in Lagos where i live and work, to the best of my memory, i have met with about 50 women or so in total including Friends, Girlfriends, Prostitutes and so on. I did not stop there. Even when i went to Ibadan for a training, i met with about 8 women in just 3 weeks of my stay in Ibadan. Even in Niger state where i did my youth service, i slept with about 5 female corps members and about 12 sex workers in a span of 9 months.

Please i need help in getting out of this. I cannot control my perversion. When i see women i imagine them unclad. 45% of my salary goes to prostitutes in clubs and brothels. I have no wife yet. I cannot marry in such a mess. I am thinking of settling down with a wife but how would i do that with this addiction of mine? And its so bad that my street where i live, there are about 3 brothels and 2 clubs so it was just overwhelming and i could not control my urges. At the slightest pinch i cross the road to the nearest one just beside my house. Day after day, week after week and counting. Even my office is no exception as just last Friday, i had sex with my secretary. How long would i continue to live like this?

Please what can i do to end this so i can settle down?