₦airaland Forum

Sophyrocks:
So you are not married and you could point fingers at another person for being single. Nigerians and hypocrisy! Why? Remove the rafter from your eyes before removing the straw from another. I have not seen you point out the fact that the Op's mother was wrong for daring to slap his wife. She was the troublemaker here. What sort of mother goes about fighting in another person's home? Will such a woman get the respect she deserves? You dnt go formenting trouble and expecting a pat in the back. Respect begets respect. If a MIL does not have such mentality in dealing with others, she should expect disrespect.

he has no idea how old I am so I won't bother about the being single comment of his........marriage isn't everything for me contrary to the general believe they have here....first things first then a clean and correct guy will follow

babyosisi:
I met a lady recently at a party who told me she disliked Nigerians with a passion
From her accent I placed her to be a Cameroonian
Come to find out she was a full blooded Igbo woman but born and raised in Cameroon and married to an Igbo man too
I asked why she hated us
She said Nigerians were wicked people
She told me growing up in Cameroon she would see Nigerians call even their own sisters and nieces their maids and treat them poorly and that cameroonians didn't do that.wouldnt refer to their own flesh and blood as maids and house girls.i couldn't defend that.
I asked if she had been to Nigeria
She said she spent 6 months in Nigeria and just hated it
Every nigerian relative,every man ,woman she met was very harsh and very wicked and treated everyone around so poorly
People were extremely rude for no reason and constantly angry and on edge
If you know cameroonians,they are easy going party people, I had a good friend from there sometime ago
Very polite people
If a nigerian and a Cameroonian chased a woman the Cameroonian will get the woman
There is a terrible culture we have that many Nigerians are caught up in without knowing it and sometimes it requires being away from Nigeria to another environment to appreciate the enormity of that defect we call culture.
Many of the things I see now and cringe may not have bothered me before.
There are fellow Africans that will read this same story and be horrified that a mother inlaw will act this way and be more appalled that majority of the people see her as the victim here.
Our people are messed up in their thinking and don't even know it and we call it culture
That is sad

very sad indeed.....we actually have very good and considerate beings here but the bad eggs will keep spoiling the good ones .....wat a country

TheFilmmaker:
No I'm not married, not even planning to. However, I won't acomodate a fiery woman who doesn't love me or my family back.


Love is the basis for everything. I think I have been bitter throughout this thread. I have my reasons and I am sorry if I have erred anybody.

I wish you all the best.

u want a wife dat would love u and ur family??...fine,datz actually a good dream but u will definitely kill dat dream when u get one and let ur family boss her around the way they want....u will end up with a bitter wife and ur own soul a more bitter one

iiichidodo:
[color=#1980BC] Yeah and his Royal High Prick would suggest a clap on the back for the wife for drawing blood and should get more commendation if she had the opportunity to break her head afterall her husband is hen pecked and liverless just like RHP's father.Whichever way you look at it son, that's your funeral..not ours. [/color]

stop hating guy......it doesn't suit u......just wake up from ur slumber cos this is 21st century where men treat their wives with the due respect they deserve...it's actually very simple

TheFilmmaker:
I'm saying this because were not in the dark ages. Therefore, she has to apologize.

her only reason for apologizing would be just to let peace reign not cos she has to ....she is the victim here not the MIL.....get it straight

TheFilmmaker:
Ever asked yourself why you're still single?

Feminist.

go and cool off, pls.......ur blood is too hot....u should reside in the jungle cos that's exactly where u belong with such archaic thoughts

chimkaire:
...please, don't allow anyone work you up. Let him continue and hopefully act out same if faced with such.




Good to know there still exist sane men here...kudos @madcow1, Babyosisi and you too. Hope these will guide Op in making his decision.

thanks dear.....some people are just too egocentric for my liking......spoiling the beautiful image of other sane Africans

iiichidodo:
[color=#1980BC] Sob story of an irritant Woman prick...Better not infect the OP with your disease as his case is far more different and will need balls of steel to resolve.Else his life will be governed by mad women,a condition we observe you're very comfortable with. [/color]

don't b a sadist pls......jerk

TheFilmmaker:
Also remember to ask her how she would feel if she was denied pictures of her grandchildren.

Also teach her not to run her mouth like a sloth.

now don't be foolish....did u ever read where she was said to have ran her mouth like a sloth??....evils

MadCow1:
I am not a perfectionist like the OP, I am a realist.

His wife has not left him so there is no point assuming the worst. And just so you know mothers do abuse their kids and even abandon them so let's stop painting mothers to be saints. Secondly every mother is a wife as well (assuming she was married) so technically they are both equal in status.

Mother's should be forgiven I agree but that also means mothers are not above making mistakes.

In this case, his mother was wrong on all counts and the mature thing would be for her to apologise to his wife for coming into her home to cause such chaos.

You must understand that this is a matter of principle for me. My mother always advised me to never take sides with anyone Including her against my wife as that can cause bigger problems in my marriage than I can ever understand.

Any man who can't place his wife above his immediate family does not understand the sacred institution of marriage and has no business being married.

I would give you classic cases involving my own paternal grandma and my mum but this is not about me. But the one lesson I learnt from that case was that my Dad never sided with his mum and after the quarrel had stayed for so long, both women resolved their differences and became so close that my grandma would always go to my mum to get whatever she wanted from my dad.

If a man allows his mother to rule over his wife inside her home, then he shouldn't be surprised when his wife acts like a single woman because that is not how a man covers his wife.

geezzz!!!...I'm falling all the more.......woooow.....I actually said I wasn't gonna marry an African but u've just given me hope......pls do enjoy ur marriage......u deserve it

onoja12:
i can see you come from the same line as the woman,but fact remains,any woman who doesn't respect her husbands parents but respect her own,can not be said to be a wife,rather a woman on a mission,and my people say that is just the beginning,if she gets away with that,she would set her eyes on bigger embarrassment. my mother can not kill me after all she left and raised me before the wife sew me that she wants to marry.so what can you say is your excuse for holding a picture of my family.the answer is simple trouble maker.

Now if you give your mother free hands in my house,how much more my own mother when am the head of the house,anyway you look at this the wife has brought out her true colors and it must be contained before it causes a bigger problem.

I would give you a story,true life.where i come from the first son of the house becomes king once his father passes on.so time back the king passed on and the elders traveled to go and inform the first son that his father has passed on and he should come and prepare to be crowned,when they got there,the tradition is that once people come you first offer them water to drink,then give them food pending when your husband can attend to them.but rather when they got to the eldest sons house,the wife asses them to be poor people therefore she kept them out for hours,after allowing them in she just walk away without greeting them because she heard they came from the village.to cut the long story short after a while the elders stood up and walked out of the house,they told her to inform her husband that they have seen his wife,then they went straight to the house of the second son,his wife immediately offered them water and food before the husband came and they told him that they as elders have agreed that he be made king rather than his elder brother.he was made king when the elder brother heard he wanted to start a fight,they asked him why he is just coming and didn't his wife tell him that they came to this house or didn't she deliver there message.let me stop there the idea is his lineage lost out and this is no story,they had to make the elder brother a third class king to keep the peace but under his younger brother.

Women who don't know the beginning of anything want to claim more knowledge then does who have been there before them would end up destroying there husbands

ur story has nothing to do with the issue at hand.....did the wife throw her MIL out?....did she not welcome her well ??...was she the first to strike??.....pls read the whole story before dishing out ur advice ...abeg

anitank:
Mother in-laws can be very wicked and controlling. As far as I'm concerned your wife can't be blamed at all, she must have been pushed too hard she couldn't take it any longer. What did your mother come to your house with her sister and friend to do? They came to start a fight! And they patiently waited for you to leave the house to initiate one. I'm glad she was strong enough to show them who the boss was

If your wife didn't respect you or your mother, she wouldn't have called you before the fight escalated, my opinion. Mother in-laws should learn to stop sticking their noses where they don't belong, not every wife cares about tradition.

If your mother cannot love and respect your wife after she's had two of her grandchildren, then she shouldn't expect same from her. She can't keep playing the perfect wife forever

exactly sis.....u r so on point....hypocrisy of the highest order from these silly trads

TheFilmmaker:
If my wife loves me, she will not do that. Once she does that, I'm sure she's prepared to leave the house too.

Stop acting like pussies.

if u too love ur wife, u won't support ur mum slapping her for whatsoever reason......stupid customs dat will always require dat the wife do everything to make her man happy only for the husband to do exactly wat he likes.....rubbish

Imoy:
Are u for real?

A good wife should have suggested printing a copy for her MIL instead of bluntly refusing her MIL to take it.

And No reason on dis life is justifiable for a wife to hit her MIL, no reason at all.

If na me, d love I get for my wife go reduce to 89%

a good wife my foot.....how about a good MIL??....won't she be good to d DIL and not make troubles first??.....stupid

san316:
I agree with this dude. Compel your wife to apologise to your mum and let her promise never to allow what happened repeat itself. I think you gave your wife too much freedom to warrant her exchanging blows with your mum. You must spell it out for her to know that your mum is above her in terms of age and position. You can get another wife but not another mother.

So you have to be stern in addressing your wife instead of divorce.

what on earth do u mean by he gave his wife too much freedom??....who says husbands are the ones to dish out freedom to their wives??.....stupid African trad dat won't stop annoying me ......gave her too much freedom indeed..... rubbish

MadCow1:
My take..

First and foremost Sir, you are a married man and your loyalty is to your wife and kids not your mother. This is the harsh and hard truth.

Secondly your mother has the least right when it comes to making demands in your matrimonial home. The mother of the baby refused to give her pictures of the baby and she has every right to do so because she is the mother. Remember that your mother's beef with your wife stems primarily from the fact that she is your mother so technically she is being served with her own medicine. The photographs are of your child and if your mother wanted any of them, she should have asked your wife or your permission first, not to proceed to take it without her consent.

And the fact that your mother threw the first slap is even most shocking to me. Some wives would have laid her out with one blow. Your wife has every right to protect herself in her house from anybody including you. Let me make it clear; The intruder here is your mum, the person who instigated the fight is your mum, the person who threw the first blow is your mum, the person who had the right to give out photos of the baby is your wife and if your mum got scratched in the process it was as a result of your mother's failure to act with maturity. She could have waited for your return to ask for the photos but rather she took it upon herself to assault your wife and got what she had coming.

Finally, if all efforts to genuinely broker peace fails, then in the interest of your immediate family, keep your mother in her home and keep your wife in hers. Nothing says they must be friends. But in all, your primary interest should be towards your wife not your mother.

I love this....I even love u cos if it.....sound advice

TheFilmmaker:
I'm sorry for you OP. There is no woman on earth that will slap my mother and go scot free.

What am I even saying? I trust my momma like fire. She would have probably maimed her before I return.

But I understand that not all women are hot blooded and hot tempered like mine Howerver, what your wife did was uncalled for. What a travesty! This is your chance to prove you are the owner of the house. Send the hot blooded woman packing! Nollywood corruption.

If you don't teach sense into her now, it will happen again. and ultimately it will descend to the point where your kids will not be allowed to visit your mom or even touch or talk to her. Whatever you do, be sturdy about it. Send her packing, back to her parents. Her parents should tender an apology. Ask your hot blooded wife how she will feel if you land 3 hot slaps on the eldest member of her family or either of her parents.

Hypocritical short thinking people everywhere. By the way, this story looks perfect for a Nollywood script.

Cc: Safari29

PS: If this happened during the middle ages, the OP would have been ordered to gut his wife.

what a stupid and silly advice....u think we are still in the dark age......keep deceiving urself

devour129:
there's nothing wrong with a man finding a lady that " compliments " his wife as long as the wife can find a guy to complete what is missing in the husband . Sometimes I wonder if it's the same mother that raised a woman raised the man .

great.....datz a good point

uzolexis:
I don't know about u but I believe that if a woman can stick 2 her man,the man should be able to do likewise. If everyone decides not to tolerate a cheating partner, the men would have no choice than 2 stop. Accepting it as normal and making it a hopeless case is exactly what fuels men to cheat and think they can get away with it, but if a woman tries that all he'll would be let loose. I pray I never get so desperate to the pnt that i'll start tolerating/managing a guy that doesn't respect me enough 2 be faithful 2 me. Mbanu.....chukwu amankwe

u are right my dear....men's world my foot...maybe they think we aren't seeing so many handsome men that are tempting enough to draw us away .....stupid excuse for cheats

the boy went extreme.... little kids are being accused about more serious offence everyday probably cos no one can speak for them but they don't go about killing themselves....the woman might have said dat just to make sure dat he brings out the money *if* he is actually the culprit....we all are being accused at one time or the other even in our various homes while some are even punished unjustly yet we don't hang ourselves.....RIP to him shaaaa......I pity dat woman

tomzman:
Confirmed! I wonder if the other posters are looking at a different picture.

she really is beautiful

tiswell:
Yea,am fine dear...happy new year

same to u

tiswell:
Somma....longest time,how have u been...@ur dp...u look so beautiful on that gown.

thanks dear....I've been ok just school stress ...hope u are good too?

oneangle:
My brother you can't serve God at your own convenience . Roman Catholic sef . God will open your eyes

what about the Roman Catholic ??

sandijey:
Honestly, By the time you get closer to God, ud find it difficult listening to all those worldly songs. We need to be careful of what we hear and what we see. They are very dangerous to our spiritual life

very very very true....happy Sunday dear

termanli:
belive it or not worldly music distroys a good relationship with God.

u are right...happy Sunday

Fembleez1:
(Singing)

All hail the power of jesus name!,
let angels prostrate fall----2ce
bring forth the royal diadem,
and crown him lord of all.


Verse 2.

Let every kindred,every tribe.
On this terrestrial ball-----2ce
To him all majesty ascribe
And crown him Lord of all


Verse 3.

O that with yonder sacred throng
We at his feet may fall-----2ce
We'll join the everlasting son
And crown him Lord of all

I love dis hymn too...

tabletman1:
Let's not forget to go with our camera to show the world how the catholic church normally come out in their massive numbers to proclaim that our Lord Is the King Of Kings...





Rep Onitsha Diocese.. The Diocese with the highest number of staunch catholic devotees.
I will be going to Basilica Of The Most Holy Trinity Onitsha.

woooow....I rep St.Mary's parish,Iba Pope,Awada

iheanyi40:
just sent yu a pm reply, btw wen u going bck to sch

I should b there before 8th

iheanyi40:
biochemistry

datz cool

iheanyi40:
u crious ? Same ere sha, wah dept

vet med....u??

iheanyi40:
NmaGOD44 shea ure in mouau

just got admission there......any problem ??