jasman1:
It’s even worse you don’t know how confused you’re. “He’s all any lady could dream of...” Rubbish!!!! He’s just all confused Nigerian women could dream of. He doesn’t adore you at all, if he does, he wouldn’t offer money for such. He’s not sleeping with you yet, all that may change. The dude has two boys already and they will remain in charge and may even think you have something to do with their parent’s divorce. Get a life woman, you’re still young

Noted.thank you

simplepee:
Whatever decision you make, just be very careful. And don't EVER be a baby mama to any man please.

Yes boss..thank you

Adeboyefa:
If you can't find an unattached man, be a side chick rather than a stepmother. Even if his ex-wife has remarried, she will want to come back if her 2nd marriage breaks up rather than go for a 3rd husband and will use her kids to drive you out. No stepmother is ticked right by her stepchildren; she is always perceived to be partial to her own kids (who are all younger than her stepchildren).

That is my fear oooo...I dont want trouble. See ehn, being a Nigerian is enough trouble.

candygebs:
Marriage is full of problems, even if u marry a virgin man, the problem still go lap you, collect 10m, become baby baby. Then marry him, and face the problem. Let the money be your motivation, because if na happiness you dey find, then na fa fa fa foul. Happiness no dey there ooo. Folo money

Hmmmm...another perspective. Can I just have all what I want in peace? the funny thing is that it's not even much at all. I want a man that can treat me right, respect me, take care of my children. Shikena

lefulefu:
he might just be using u for cruise
become his baby mama for 10 million..ifa hear
better shine ur eye
the bros might have a sinister plan up his life

I highly doubt that.i agree that he is a little too into me but not to that extent

simplepee:
Whatever decision you make, just be very careful. And don't EVER be a baby mama to any man please.

Ok thank you. I won't

Meto1234:
My question is how old is the two children.
b4 u shook head enter, and b4 a man we offer you such amount of money just to be is babymama then he is after something else.

The boys are 6years and 4years. He suspects the 6 yr old is not his but he is yet to a DNA

SweetCunt97:
You both can relocate. Abeg follow ur heart.

Trust me, I have considered it too. But it's not just something I can put my mind on. I would need a backup plan

extol1:

collect the money and be his baby mama and after come and marry me with the money

Ok..lol!

ImaIma1:
If part of reasons is the fact that your family and church are against marrying him, will they be in support of you being his baby mama.

Being his baby mama won't keep you from the ex wife's issues. If you are going to be with him, it's better you go all the way rather than having one leg in and one out.

What if you decide to be his mama and after a while he gets married to someone else, where does that leave you. You have to try to see 5 years from now before you make a decision.

True. Maybe I am being a little shortsighted but the issue is, I dont want stress. I am short fused and have a low tolerance level on some issues. So that seemed to be a better option seeing that I dont have a viable alternative.

Denique:


Now that your faith has been established, I'd say DON'T...we both know why.

Although, the offer is tempting but there's more to life than monetary gains. Think about it.

Hmmmmm. Thanks a lot. I appreciate this

Mikester:

But you somehow don't feel safe making the decision of marrying him and I presume you also hate to be just his baby mama. You feel deep down that it might not be best to give in to him as creating this thread has shown. Ma'am if you were my relative, I would advise against giving in to him just as your actual relatives did. Drop him. There is always someone better for whoever we leave behind. That's my mind on this.

Thanks for your advice sir. God bless you

Denique:
I don't know your faith but according to God's word, it is a sin to marry a divorcee...he remains married to his ex before God. Only death can bring a union to an end.

As a babe and one bound by the constitution of Nigeria, it is not illegal to do so.

As a gold digger, I'd say, be a baby mama. 10m plus other Alhajis and/or Chiefs.

As it is my tradition, after every advice, I always leave the decision making to the advice seeker so they can never say I ruined their lives.

In the meantime, drop his number, pls. I'd like to counsel you two.

Your no 1 point is the crux of the issue. I am scared I am going against God's word by proceeding to marry him. You know divorce is very controversial. At the same time, I am not sure if I will find someone as great as this guy. This guys treats me right! Just how I want and like it

thebosstrevor1:
This so called man "love" you but want you to be his baby mama for 10 million naira.

I know your story smell of fake fake fake fake

Lol! Ok

Mikester:

The heart is not enough in making decisions. The mind and gut feeling are mostly accurate. If you feel something is wrong somewhere, chances are there is. You need to leave love aside now and be logical

- If he was so perfect, why did his wife leave?
- Why is he seemingly obsessed with you?
- Would you want your child to be like him?

You need to ponder on this

Hmmmm...word!
Well according to him, the wife left on her own accord. She was keeping late nights without any justification neither was she remorseful. That caused lots of arguments and friction in the marriage. He claimed he was never violent with her and even went to her family house to beg her to come back but she refused. Calling him 'done and dusted"
About the obsession part, me I dont know oo. He just seemed to like me very much. Too much perhaps..he calls me 'raw gold'
Well, I would like my child to have some semblance with him in some areas, although not all areas

InfernoNig:


You have to make the decision yourself. No one will do it for you

Yes that's why I need counsel from people that have been through a similar situation b4.

Mikester:
Don't mistake those that are around you for those who are there for you. That man seems to be up to something. Nothing is free in this world. No sane man who worked his ass to where he is now would just want to lavish such amount of money on a non family member. I don't trust his agenda

Hmmmmm..maybe...but he has been a good good friend and lover. Also, he can afford that amount of money without neccesarily breaking the bank.

pcguru1:


The only way to find out is to engage in it, who knows ? It might toughen you as a person, it just a matter of how much of a masochist you are. Left to me, I'd rather go with mindset that I'll do what it can to find someone that will treat me right , rather than settling but I also get it too, you can marry for love and the person might not offer you as much as you'd want when this baby mama parole can work, ill be honest with you, the game is the game, we are all here just forming Saint, within us demon dey, if such offer were made for guys, lot of guys will jump in it. So it all depends on you, do you want to be in love or be comfortable? If you are looking for Happy ending marriage in Lagos good luck. Like I said we are doomed anyway.

Lolzz .I want to be in love..I want to be comfortable.. I want my man all to my self. Gosh, I am not perfect but i deserve it. In spite of my imperfection, I have worked so hard for it..so hard. Look I just wannna be happy thatz all

Sunnymatey:
If you love him, pls marry him. He is LEGALLY divorced so his ex has no business interfering in your home.
Every other issue can be sorted.

We all condemn Regina for marrying Ned but what matters most is her happiness where she is now.

Hmmmmmm..thanks for your advice

Womanizer:
Na which kind dilemma be this sef?

What to do now...

Kobicove:
Is it that you're so ugly that you can't get an unattached single guy to show interest in you?

Well, I dont know that one ..but you feel I can get someone else right?

OlayemiAshraf:
10millli to be his baby mama... what are you waiting for? Collect ham joor...

Lol! You feel so?

InfernoNig:
I won't advice you to be his baby mama. But I will advice you to follow you heart.

My heart says Yes but my mind says No

UncleKoboko:
Weyrey
You don't need any advice...
What you'll do is in your mind already...

Lolz..abi make I forget everything? I feel like running away..

pcguru1:
I wish I could give a positive advice, but after facing my own wahala, whatever wrong will go wrong, even you marry him issues, if you don't issues , regardless of what choice you choose, nothing but demise await all of us regardless of our intent. You could leave him and find a wrong choice or marry him and deal with all the wahala that comes with it. There's no happy ending dear, just choose your own demise is all I will say. Sorry for being negative but that's just real life. We are all doomed eventually

Hmmm..thanks but is the wahala that comes with it usually worth it?

Hello Fam,
Happy sunday to you all.
I am in a dilemma right now and I dont know what to do. I have been seeing a particular man for about 2yrs. All seems well with him except for the fact that he is legally divorced with 2 kids. He is all any lady could dream of but family and friends strongly advised me against marrying him. They say that it's wrong wrong choice for me, that his exwife would always be in his life since they have 2 male children together, that the exwife could even resort to fetish means,that being in Africa doesnt even help matters, that I would be at a big disadvantage.
This man loves me, adores me, respects me and puts me first in anything. I met him at one of my 'lowest' moments in life and he was like heaven sent.My church is not in support, my family and frnds feel I am too young to put myself in such a tight situation. His exwife is very quarrelsome and I dont like stress.I am scared, I dont want trouble. I dont even have that kind of tolerance level. However He is still persistent, has been for over 2years now..still promising me that nothing would go wrong. He is even offering me N10m to at least be his baby mama if I am not willing to marry him in the interim. All the while, he has respected my body when I told him I wasnt willing to have sex with him. I am 27. I am thinking of forgetting everything all together, I just am not sure of what to do....