₦airaland Forum

To All,
I have been reading these threads for a while now and there are some things that I would like to comment on( African men & division among blacks). I am an African "American" female( I prefer the term American-born African) married to African African-born man(non-americanized). I am a product of the African diaspora and the Transatlantic slave trade.
First of all, in any dating/marriage situation one should seriously consider the background of their partner especially if there are cultural differences. Not that the differences are insurmountable, but in order for the relationship to grow continually they must be addressed. By addressed I mean that they must be considered and respected. I have to admit that there is no other man for me than my husband. I don't think that it has anything to do with him being African or not. However, I am thrilled that my husband is a black man; and I know it's rather biased but to me they are the best men around. Even after there is careful consideration of one another's culture it takes love, patience, and a firm foundation in Christ to have a truly lasting relationship.

Secondly, I have always been troubled by the division among Blacks as a whole. We are certain that our race did not originate in Europe, Asia, or any other place but in Africa. Yet, we ridicule and insult each other being that we are brothers and sisters. We may not all share the same culture but we are of the same people. There are enough people and forces in this world trying to pull us down and discourage us; we need not destroy one another. I am fascinated with my black skin, the way we say what we say from the heart(whether right or wrong), the drive and strength we have when things seem hopeless, and many other things positive and negative that describe us as a black people. We should all be trying to learn from each other and pour our knowledge, wealth, and efforts into our beloved continent that has been repeatedly violated by those that have invaded us and divided us. There are some differences, such as the roles of women, family ties, etc. I have had the privilege to live in both USA(Houston,Texas) and Africa(Equatorial Guinea) and I see the good and bad of both sides. It is natural to stick with what you are familiar with, but if we venture just a little further we can learn something about each other and in the process understand ourselves. It wasn't until I moved to Africa that I truly appreciated being Black. Now, I know this may sound controversial, but growing up in the states there are so many things that a person of color must do to fit in that sometimes causes self-loathing. I had always wanted to know about my roots and one day travel to Africa just to experience my homeland, but I had no idea that my soulmate would be from Africa. I figured early on that I probably wouldn't marry a fellow American because of different viewpoints, but I was still unaware of where the person would come from. The best days of my life have been spent with my husband, we've been through the good, the bad, and the ugly. If you ask me there is no better man living or dead, African or otherwise than my Corazón (sweetheart). He is not perfect and neither am I, but there is a love that binds us that reaches far beyond our cultural differences.

So, in conclusion I just want to say that we should find common ground in order to get along with one another, and let our differences complement each other. I would like to see more Blacks( those displaced outside of Africa) traveling to see their homeland and acceptance and recognition from Africans as our brothers and sisters. Together as a people we have so much to offer, but divided we destroy ourselves.