₦airaland Forum

A huge Hippopotamus was Spotted in Shelleng and then later appeared again in Guyuk LGA of Adamawa State. It was hunted down by a number of youths and finally killed.

The hippopotamus really has meat in it's body that left me speechless. Infact the meat in this animal can feed the whole of my village. Lolss

The youths were jubilating and full of gratitude, thanking God for the provision and expectant for another one...😊😃

Many people are criticizing the youths online for killing the animal instead of taking it to the zoo and kept for tourism. The truth is that you cannot keep something for tourism when you're hungry. The western world preserve this things when they find them because their government do not steal money and leave them hungry.

But please make sure you at least save a significant amount to run the home before you marry. So that you won't die of depression when you marry.

Good advice... Thumbs up!!! You know Nigerians love buying things small small. It's not everyone that knows the benefits of buying things in bulk.

It's not bad at all.... Once your culture permits it then you can. Besides to hell with any culture because there is nothing bad in marrying your cousin.

Juliearth:
I told you about manipulation,right? It has just begun. Don't be moved, she will come back. DONT BEG OR GO TO HER HOUSE. If invited,do not show up. If you will ever get it right in this marriage, it is now. Tell her your lawyers would forward divorce papers and you want full custody of your legitimate children and see her panick. Send me a DM for more tips.

And please, reconcile with your family. They are your blood. You need them now.

please i really need your contact please... This is my mail so you can send it to me there please. Odafe360@yahoo.com I'm waiting please

Juliearth:
You are welcome, always. Feel free to create another thread or update this on what's on ground. We are always here to give you insight.

she has finally called me today to tell me that the marriage is over and that she's not coming back again. According to her, one of the reason why she took this decision is because of the fact that i don't bother to go and check on them for the past 2 weeks that they were away.

Kaypols:
i would have love to match make you,but divorcee are scary. are you base in lagos?

I'll really appreciate, but the problem is that I'm not in Lagos

akpunda86:
Good morning I have read positive and negative advices from people , as a victim and one of the oldest members here 50 years is not easy mostly when family members don't wanna hear u out assuming u are guilty cos their daughter painted u black. It di not easy even if you find another love mostly when kids are involved , mine left the kids for me similar to yours Everytime walks away till one day went for burial but decided to move to Abuja . People saying poverty is NO NO cos if I'm poor I'll say maybe is poverty , is all about her family bound and upbringing. I fought for my marriage still collapsed , so bros getting a new relation will help u but be careful cos at this stage every woman u see u think is the right one , be careful with another love u will forget but in lonely moments the good old times flood ur mind. Be strong as it traumatically and psychologically hurts we can private chat if u permit

I'll appreciate a private chat sir

Juliearth:
I just stumbled on this thread. I'm guessing it's the thread preceding what's currently on ground. I also went through the comment to get more understanding. I can't really fault you because you were truly a good husband and a father. The only fault I see was condoning her excesses. I'm a woman and I would give you this advise for free. To her, you came off as weak, judging by the number of times she left and you followed to beg her (family).

I am not saying you did bad not reasoning with your family on marrying her, but did you try to find out why they never liked her? Insisting on knowing why may have revealed this to you from the initial stage.


No need crying over spilled milk. I can tell you for a fact that she will return. It is good that you have resolved not to beg. As such, she would manipulate her way back. Use this moment of alone-ness to figure out what you truly want. I would not ask you if you love her because love is never enough. Ask yourself these questions before she returns:

1. What value does she add to your life?
2. When you are not in crisis, does she make you happy.
3. Is your partnership a plus or minus to you?...

All the best!

this is one of the best advice I've read so far... God bless you.

maasoap:
It is too early to be asking yourself why you haven't been able to move on because I just read your first thread which was December 8th. Give it more time because it will take time before you adapt to your new reality most especially the kids.
And again, nothing stops you to go and see your kids regularly anytime you are missing them. Just don't create alone time with your wife in her father's house.
And you need to go out more often. Make friends in your environment and also get in the game again and don't forget social media like Facebook where there are plenty of dating groups. Just be careful so that you are not scammed, don't be desperate.

Thanks alot brotherly for taking out time to drop this beautiful advise. God bless you!!!

kobarney:
A snippet of the entire problem is that most times we have an issue and she leaves the house, i've always been the one going to speak to her mum, plead and bring them back home, that's why whenever there's problem and she goes back to her mom's place, nobody from her family would contact me to even hear my side because I've become like a fool to them cos they know i'll still come. This last one that she left, we just had a little issue and she packed a her things and left. So many people not to go to her family house and beg this time around since i didn't send them packing. I swear guys, i've forgiven and tolerated what 90% of men won't forgive nor tolerate from her.

Please guys help a brother with more advice, how do i move on?


You sef travel.
You need to get around people who get you busy and take your mind off her.

Yeah, I'm thinking of travelling.... Thabks alot brother!!!

Hmmmmmm, this life ba.... Fear people

obiekunie01:
your problem is poverty bro!

you are very poor that's why she leaves you at the slightest provocation to yash other guys!

take this time and go learn a skill that will make you comfortable in life. i didn't say make you rich cause that one fit hard you small, i am talking of comfortable.

YOU TAKE THIS TIME YOU ARE SPENDING ON CRYING OVER A HOE AND GO LEARN WELDING, OR TILING, OR EVEN MECHANIC OR MESON.

Women hate broke guys - no matter how sweet your gbola is, she will still leave you whn needs call.

you think I'm broke? Lolss... You're pathetic

thesicilian:
Maybe you should find something else to take your thoughts off her. Something like burying yourself in your work, or getting a hobby, taking a vacation, or focusing on that self improvement activity you have always put off (We all have one or two )
I wouldn't advise you getting into another relationship for the time being.

no work for now because I'm on my annual leave. Till the end of January. Except if i can plan a vacation.

I posted a previous topic about my divorce with my wife and i got alot of advice on this platform which really encouraged & have me strength.

I'm really grateful for the nairaland community. The only issue i'm still battling with right now is how to move on, i'm trying everyday to forget the past, but the more i try, the more it's becoming fresh in my heart and the pains too. I won't lie to you it's difficult. Sincerely sometimes i cry and the thoughts of ending my life comes and goes. I don't drink, I don't smoke, neither do i womannize and worst of all i don't have much friends cos I'm more of an introvert.

A snippet of the entire problem is that most times we have an issue and she leaves the house, i've always been the one going to speak to her mum, plead and bring them back home, that's why whenever there's problem and she goes back to her mom's place, nobody from her family would contact me to even hear my side because I've become like a fool to them cos they know i'll still come. This last one that she left, we just had a little issue and she packed a her things and left. So many people not to go to her family house and beg this time around since i didn't send them packing. I swear guys, i've forgiven and tolerated what 90% of men won't forgive nor tolerate from her.

Please guys help a brother with more advice, how do i move on?

As part of their corporate social responsibility, Zentih bank has designed the popular Ahmadu bello way round about in Jos. What do you think guys? The shopping plaza in front of the roundabout you're seeing is owned by Rochas Okorocha

I just saw a picture alleged to be from a prison in Nigeria and it really touched me. Is this what prisoners pass through?

Romeo and Juliet actress Olivia Hussey dies at age 73.

Actress Olivia Hussey, who shot to international prominence as a teenager for her role in the acclaimed 1968 film version of Romeo and Juliet, has died aged 73.

The Argentine-born actress, who grew up in London, died on Friday surrounded by her loved ones, a statement posted on her Instagram said.

Hussey won the best new actress Golden Globe for her part as Juliet, but decades later she sued Paramount Pictures for sexual abuse as she was aged just 15 when she filmed the movie's nude scene.

Her other most notable screen role was as Mary, mother of Jesus, in 1977 TV miniseries Jesus of Nazareth.

Socratiz:
World Mental Health Day is happening on Monday 10 October.

The theme for this year, as set by the World Federation for Mental Health, is “Making Mental Health And Wellbeing For All A Global Priority”.

This is an opportunity for you to give adequate attention to your mental health.

Without physical health, one may be weak and stagnant yet with the capacity to communicate and take rational decisions. But with a loss of mental health comes emotional and cognitive darkness which renders someone a liability to himself, his family and society.

Examples of mental issues you need to be aware of include: depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, all forms of addiction, social isolation/withdrawal, stress, intrusive negative thoughts, hearing voices, anger, drug and alcohol abuse, hallucination, extreme mood swings, etc.

With everything that is happening around us right now, it can be easy to feel lost and powerless, but there is an opportunity for you to access first aid in mental health.

The Mental Health Sector of The African Network of Professional Counsellors is providing a three-day free mental health first aid for everyone.

Date: 10 – 13 October 2022

If you are interested, please register by filling out this form and choose a counsellor of your choice. You will be contacted and an initial free session would be arranged with you.

https:///s4iWuTnvqk4aFQcFA

You can also copy the short link and paste on your browser

Goodevening sir, you asked me to send you a DM if I need to talk to you concerning my marital issues... Can I have your contact?

Most times it's just God's mercy that preserves lives when aircrafts experience issues during flights.... Almost every day you must hear of one thing or the other during flights. Sincerely most of the aircrafts have tried, you'll see aircrafts of 40-50years old still in use, just keeps getting refurbished.

More...

The plateau State government has decorated almost all the major roundabout and junctions in Jos, Plateau State in the spirit of Christmas. While alot are criticising it the work, citing that there are major needs the citizens need and not decorations, others are celebrating the gesture.

Capernum:
Alright sir. Please do not mind ky questions, what does the marital life of her siblings look like? Is her mum living alone or with her father? Do they have plenty divorcees in her family?

My wife's mum is a widow.... my wife has 5 siblings, all of them are female.... Some of her siblings have children for different men while others are in their second marriages.

Capernum:
Dear Op, sorry for your ill experience. Please do not feel bad that you forgave her the first time, it is a sign that you're a good person. It is not foolishness neither is it weakness. It is strength!

This time she packed out, what is the cause? Has there been any issue you haven't mentioned? That will equip me with the necessary information to advice you.

Meanwhile, I hope you have not been rubbing the first infidelity case on her face? If you have been doing such, you haven't forgiven her and the pain is enough for her to want a leave.

Please shed more light sir. I sense a spiritual undertone to this matter anyway.

I've never rub the infidelity on her face, i forgave totally. Though from time to time, I feel the pain but never reminded her about it. When she packed out, there was no issue at all apart from when she threatened that she will leave because of a very trivial issue.

Ganjafama:
Did you tell her sister why you sent her out of the house?

yes, i did... She is fully aware. Infact my wife told the sister right from time about it.

yemmit90:
You have only one problem " Lack of self worth" as a result of extremely low self esteem.

All that is happening to you is very strange to me, the fact that non of her family members ever called whenever she left your house says alot about the way they see you.

Stop talking to that woman and completely cut her off from your life. You can be sending her certain amount to take care of your children every month. Pay their school fees directly to the school and visit them there whenever you want to see them.

I will also advise you to stay away from relationship and marriage for now until you become a man or build your self esteem.

just imagine that even when i discovered about the paternity of the first child, none of her family took it as a big deal and nobody came to see me nor plead, not even the mother, the only call I received then was from one of her sister who called to insult me for sending her out of my house and said all manner of things to me.

yemmit90:
At the junction, a smart man should have known from that statement that she has gotten a better man who is financing her life.

Don't die before your time, God actually loves you, reason she move on by herself.

Hmmmm, I really appreciate your advise brother..... One thing that is really keeping me down right now is what will people say especially my neighbours. How do you think i should handle this? Cause I'm feeling ashame of facing my neighbours.

dawnomike:
Sorry about your experience... I understand how you feel.

But please, this time around, you have to try as hard as possible not to go there to beg and bring them back.

Call in daily to speak with your kids... If she sees your not coming for them, she will start to think her life.
She might begin to use the kids to guilt trip you... Please, do not bulge.

If she wants to come back... She should come back by herself.

Pls, let me know if you need to speak with someone... You can always reach out to me.

Be strong brother... What you're going through is not east but may God guide you.

imagine till date no one has called or come over to here from me.... please bro, can we chat privately on WhatsApp? I'm really passing through hell right now.

frozen70:
Well sorry for this kind of embarrassment just because you choose to be a gentle man

At this point your wife will still do you things that will break your heart the more

So, go and inform your family or siblings of what she has done and will still do more because this is not the first time and is not the second time, that means she will do more

Just move on with your life and if possible Change your residence and move on, as it is now she is killing you slowly

How can you be training another man child yet no peace at home

When hunger deals with them she will look for you by then you are already busy and can't keep two relationships

She will take you to court or mediation centre, when you get there, open up

No human on earth has the power to deprive another person's happiness

do you know that just like that she told me that if i think she would come back when she gets broke or can't cater for the kids then I'm deceiving myself because God will never allow that... I then told her that it's your imagination, i'll never pray for that to happen to you. The painful thing is that i can't even tell my siblings about it because they didn't support my marriage to her and because of that we stopped taking with my biological siblings since i got married.

MMempire:
Ghost them for now. Just occasionally visit your children at their school and not in her parent's house. Keep the bond with your kids and move on as a man. At least, you can be proud of two biological kids. When the time comes, your children will never forget you. Shikena!

hmmm, deep..... Infact she called me just this morning and was telling me that the children have been asking when i'll be coming, i didn't answer her. They'll have to enroll the children in a new school cos her mum's place is very very far.

I've been married for 7 years and blessed with 3kids... Sometimes ago my wife confessed to me about the paternity of my first son that he is not my son, when she got pregnant while we were dating, she told the real Dad but he denied being responsible and she had no option than to pin it on me. I became shattered and down, infact my world nearly came to an end, i sent my wife out of the house but after about a month, i forgave her and took them back with the kids, infact I still love all my kids equally without remembering the paternity of my first child. We had a little issue some weeks ago and she threatened to leave the marriage by the end of the year, then i told her if she really wants to leave, she mustn't wait for the year to end..... Then two weeks ago she started packing her things gradually to her parents house (her father is late). She finally left yesterday and we even had sex a day before she left. The funny things is that she has packed every of her belongings, leaving nothing at all.

Since she started packing her things back to her mum's place none of her siblings or her mum has called me or come to find out what the problem is, anytime we have issues and she goes back to her mum's place, nobody from her family will come to enquire what happened, i'll still be the one to go and pick them back home and apologize to the mum whether i'm at fault or not, i think that is what made them to view me as a fool, even when i discovered the paternity of the my first son, her mother never came to my place nor called, i was still the one who went to see her mum and we spoke then brought back my wife and kids home.

I work so hard to take care of her and my kids, i always make sure they lack nothing. People envy them because i invest so much on my kids...

Please guys, what do you think i should do? Should i just move on and forget about her because honestly this time around nothing would take me to their house. She called me yesterday that they've reached and i said okay, then she called me this morning that the children are asking when I'm coming to see them?