₦airaland Forum

Hi all, thanks so much for your inputs. I attended the meeting as advised yesterday and it was worth it. Did not shy from any of the issues and áddressed them as I put them to him. For him, he did not know he was hurting me with the BB thingy plus he was ready to stop 'bbing" whenever we were around each oda. Plus said(at least dt was what he said) that he did not have any relationship with another girl apart from me overtly or covertly. Also said the proudly single thing was a truth or dare thingy with a friend and tried to show me the chat which I bluffed,  He gave me the password to his BB officially and said as far aw he was concerned, he is not playing games with me else he would not go to introduce me to his parents. He is 33 and I am 30. Said his inability to talk since or show what he truly feels about me is cos of his financial status and he understands the role of money in a relationship. Said also dt his ego as a man is bruised and times dt he keeps to himself is cos he is not happy the way he is.  So, that is the summary of the meeting. So what do you think?

I met an old friend from University days some months ago and we became really close. We got so close to a point i had to ask him what's up with the two of us. He said he wanted us to still be friends for now so that we can get to know each other really well. He also said he would not want me to date other guys and all. I agreed and we kept being friends. As at this time, he did not have a blackberry so I guess he was still well balanced emotionally. He would come over, spend his whole spare time at mine, at times sleep in. We'd go out to functions together, our common friends thought there was something up with us. He introduced me to his family but obviously as friends and I did not mind since that was what we agreed. He would pick my BB randomly to check my messages, who i was chatting with plus my texts also. I did not raise any issue since i was not hiding anything. At this time also, he had( still has) some challenges financially and I used to help help like i would any friend dt needs it and I am in a position to help.

Recently, he got a BB and I have been seeing a different him. He would come to my place and be on the phone all through. When i confronted him, he said he was trying to reach the contacts he had lost when his BB was stolen before we met again. I tried to give him space but then, the way he used to hold and protect his BB got me curious and awakened the Inspector Bediako in me. I never thought I would ever have to check a man's fone but I monitored him severally till i got his password, I opened his BB once when he  was in the bathroom and i was mad. He was not only chatting with more than 20 girls at a time, he was scoping them to have stuff with him and made each babe feel exclusive. Some, he had arranged secret meetings with. I asked him to please respect me when I am around and reduce the time he spends on his BB when I am around, he got upset saying I was trying to i was overstepping my bounds and that he does not like  thank u. He replied saying "what". At that point, i deleted him from my BB contacts. I guess he noticed and tried to add me again but i ignored it. Sent me a text and i ignored.

Next thing I knew was that he came to my place at night. My friend and her bf were around and the silence between us was noticeable. The guy asked me and I told him I had been asking him wats up with us since but he has not been saying anything. My friend's bf called him and they went out. On getting back, he said he was leaving and we escorted him out. when we got back, my friend's bf told me to forget him that he is not looking at anything to happen btw us. He seven said he had made up his mind for us to be friends alone cos he thinks we can do well with each other as friends and not more. He also said the times he used to spend at mine and all the outings and all were just because he did not want to hurt me and he knows i like having him around.

I flared up, called him on the fone and blasted him.  I also deleted him from messenger, facebook and every form of social communication page we were friends on. I also deleted his number from my fone but knew the number off hand so that did not work well.He  called like 50 times yesterday, sent several texts that he wants us to sit and talk and that i should forgive him and all. I went to church yesterday and pastor talked about anger and forgiveness. I let go but just let him Be.  I responded tp one of his texts saying dt he did not  offend me but that he should please forget about me. When the texts and calls became too much, i told him i would see him at a particular place we usually hang out this evening but i do not have any plan of showing up. He sent me a text ds morning telling me he is looking forward to seeing me tonight and that I should forgive him. My thinking is that he is trying to come back cos of all he is getting from me right now. It is not right to think this way but i am left with no other option of trying to understand why he wont let a girl he has made up his mind a long time ago to let go go now.

What should I do?