₦airaland Forum

LagosismyHome:
Funny but true... an Indian friend who was born in UK in the 70s told me how his father used to go to India yearly and bring at least one or two relatives, this happened in the 70s and 80s claiming they are his children. ..... back then no DNA test. He said Christmas day was always the best for that waka as there was hardly any staff at the airport..... I trust his father wasn't the only one doing this, maybe that why you see so many of them in the UK.

Quite possible as a reason but 2 other reasons could be that i) they are the worlds second most populous country and ii) they believe in making wherever they are their home whilst the generation of Nigerians that came in the 50's and 60's always went back home after their studies and we are still programmed up till today to want to go back to Nigeria finally at some point in our lives.

LagosismyHome:
It very sad to watch .... we are no longer our brother keeper or genuine love doesn't seem to exist

A lot of relationships are now "transactional " and based on what they can get receive receive receive without intending togive back .....The LEVEL of entitlement is something else that even those who want to help are put off.

Even something as simple as boy and girl relationships is now about what each other can gain and less about love or feelings. The spouse is now a bank/ money manager .

If I knew what i know now many years ago, i would have tried to see if I could really understand the English people and once I can get round the possibility of my future inlaws being "subtly" racist towards me, I maybe should have settled for an English spouse as in "my estimation" the people who truly love with all they've got are English people.

English people may not go to church or believe in God but they practice every thing in the marital vows - for better for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer and this is my own definition of true love.

I once met an English man on the way from the pub some years ago and we got talking and he said he was unemployed and I asked him how come he has money to visit the pub and he said his wife was a headteacher and her money was his money just like when he was working his money was her money as well. That level of trust and sharing where a wife - a headteacher can give her debit cards to her unemployed husband to go have some fun at the pub will almost likely NEVER happen with a Nigerian couple 'cos in Nigerian marriages there is no trust and the competition between them and between their families is for one person to end up being richer than the other.


The love in English marriages is different from the type practiced by supposedly religious Nigerians who change towards and dump their spouses just because he lost his job "temporarily"

In fact the Muslim marriages nowadays seem to last longer than that of Christians and even though i am a Christian, I have contemplated and still am contemplating marrying a Muslim or even an Indian if I meet one in a romantic setting as they seem to still believe in and practice longevity of marriage and sacrificing for the betterment of the children and they seem to still believe in that life long commitment to marriage and not the "For better for stay, for worse for depart" that seems the norm in most Christian marriages.

marylandcakes:
This can’t work in Nigeria because both sides of the equation are advantage takers. It also involves a lot of humility this is lacking in Nigeria in large doses. There is a false sense of entitlement to a relatives income without giving anything in return by lazy Nigerians that’s why this can’t work in the typical Nigeria set up. Maybe in the northern part where there is a bit of cooperation amongst themselves, less greed and humility but not in the south.

The bolded above is so true. The only people close to what the ASIANS HAVE IN TERMS OF looking out for the common good are the northerners. even in the south i marvel to watch them enjoy the simple things in life such as ordinary bread and tea in happiness and unity of sharing that i have to credit them for such unity.

In the south on the other hand, i recently read the story of the wife of a Billionaire property tycoon who introduced her blood brother to someone who gave him some business and she wasn't content to her brother giving her regular returns and she wanted to take over the company claiming it belonged to her even though it was registered in the brothers name with CAC. when the brothers wife had had enough of her sister in law trying to control their finances and life she cried out and took the sister in law to court.

We hear daily stories of families who are at each others necks for property in the south and in the south we are so ultra competitive with one another when it comes to money any material things and the level of show off is out of this world and generally in Nigeria majorly in the south, we worship money and are not used to sharing willingly with a clean heart devoid of trying to rub it in or put the other person down and this may account for the rise in suicide in the south as some people will rather die than beg their blood relative for help as they know their relatives will turn round and mock them and see them as failures.

What do you single guys in London do to socialise