1. We get “turned on” easily.

So the occasional hug or knee rub means nothing to you, but did you notice he’s still sitting down? Most guys have perfected the art of “de-boning” (my phrase). However if you also catch him walking sideways with his back towards you . . . don’t be alarmed, just understand!

2. We calculate when you’re not looking.

So we take you out for dinner and look through the menu and ask what you would like to have. Don’t be fooled, we’ve already done the calculation. At times you might also notice that our hands have been in our pockets for a while . . . beneath the cloth, our fingers are moving like money counters, calculating how much we have. Now you know why some guys put different denominations in separate pockets!

3. We love to feel the ‘boys’, ‘mini mes’, ‘weapons of destruction’.

Women have for long felt that men scratch or fiddle way too much down there. Wrong! We are checking to see that the ‘family’ is still there . . . or don’t you remember there was a time you could easily lose your ‘precious’ while walking on Naija streets? Also, some of us have been so blessed that we have no problem counting in inches, and so once in a while we have to position things in comfortable places.

4. We hate old school nightgowns!

Who wants to come home to a woman covered from neck to ankle with lace trimmings and little blue and pink roses scattered like a bad curse over the material. Your man might not say it, but he knows a sexy nightgown when he sees it. Be careful if he never complains . . . there could be a Victoria’s Secret somewhere!

5. If and when we do propose…

Don’t laugh or wait too long before you answer! It’s already a daunting task to decide to throw away our “little black books” and grow old with you. A swift (hopefully positive) response will be appreciated. However, we wouldn’t mind a tear or two . . . what the hell . . . cry all you want. It would make the proposal feel all the more effective.

6. We have egos (that sometime need massaging)

I know most women don’t get the “daddy’s cup”, “daddy’s chair” or “daddy’s meat” thing. But most guys need to feel like the men of the house. However, some of us have experienced the revelation that the woman is the stronger sex, but once in a while we try to exert supreme prowess . . . even if we will beg you later.

7. We are curious beings!

No explanation needed. I’ll end with a story. I once saw a little kid hold up a magazine that had a picture of a model with a miniskirt. He tried without luck to look through the paper. He then placed his head sideways on the magazine . . . right on the models legs, pressing his head so his eyes could touch the paper. It only hit me later . . . the little brat was trying to look up her skirt!

8. We send signals to the competition

Did he just help you fix your hair, straighten your collar or hold your waist? Most times women see this as a show of affection. Wrong! He’s signaling the competition to KEEP OFF. Yes, somewhere in the crowd, another guy is looking at you and he has just made the guy know he is the King of your castle. But there’s another side to this behaviour: if he’s not doing it, it could be because he wants the females out there to think he is available.