₦airaland Forum

[quote author=Busy_body link=topic=231083.msg3446747#msg3446747 date=1234192573]@ Omosegose

You have known each other for about 4 years now, according to you, your husband's brother was an unemployed loafer for six years before you got him a job, so obviously he was the one that told you about his brother. His mum also called you to tell you that her son (Elder Brother) has "issues" and that they don't really get along with each other.
What you should have done/What you need to do as a wife and a homemaker is to try and bridge the gap between the two brothers. Men are simple creatures who don't need a lot and don't hold grudges like women do.

It is not you that your husband's brother dislikes, so during the courtship, you could have gotten closer to his brother ^{you still can} and work with him. You both love the same person and want good for him. Your hubby would have seen this,
I understand what you are going through, but you have to grab life with both hands. I wish you all the best. Your husband chose you to be his lifelong companion, his solace, his comfort, he loved you, he still does, hence his cry for help. Give peace a chance.[/quote]Many thanks for this busy_body. I said when i met my husband, he told me about his elder bro. and mama told me husbands elder bro has been bad mouthing me up and down that she does herself doesnt often get along with her son (elder bro) because of his attitude. I hope that clarifys.


@ debosky, ilelobola, sweetmum, plappville, busy_body, sistawoman, bigguy, osisi
Thanks alot for your comments and advice. I sincerely appreciate

@osisi

I sent you an email. Looking forward to hearing from you. Thanks

@JJYOU,

I am not saying he committed a felony by sending money to his folks. but as a couple we should discuss it, i am a very open person but since hes attitude of keeping to himself i decided to do same.

He doesnt even communicate with me. Put yourself in my shoes and tell me your sincere opionion on how it feels. Thanks

How do you mean by show me how i hate? I sincerely love him and that its the truth. What have i done now thats wrong? I dont complain about anyone since he believes i hate his everyone in his family which is not true.

@busy_body,

Many thanks for the advice.

ehnnnnnnn,      

@Mozilla

You are a perfect liar! I just came across this whilst using the system. Guessed you forgot to log and figured out it was u my husband!

@Nlanders,

Theres absolutely no truth in what mozilla just said. Whilst we were courting i met his Elder Brother who finished univeristy in 2000 and has NEVER worked. I helped him secure his first job in life in 2006 which he is still doing to this very moment. The brother had been living with him all the while.

Whilst courting the Elder brother was always in our company when we go shopping even when we were going for MARRIAGE COUNSELLING!!!!!!! Hubby has other brothers but this Elder one is so attached to him and he doesnt have limit,

Anytime i pointed it out to my husband he says you hate him, you hate my family and i stop compalining and kept mute.


I was surprised that even after getting married the elder brother was still living in the house and there was no sign of making moves to leave the house and husband didnt bother as he cannot tell his brother the truth that it was wrong. Imagine a newly wedded, with the Husband's Elder brother in the house (ladies would underrstand better), not that he didnt have money he was working but he didnt feel any need as we got along until i couldnt tolerate it anylonger that was when he moved and i apologised the day he moved out if i have wronged him in any way,   

He moved closed to our house and always wanted a free lift to work,  i have never complained (because if i did hubby will say you hate my bro) -I guess he wont go to work since his brother isnt around now though hes got my hubbys's car to himself now

My husband started extra-marital affairs 4 months after marriage, i called the girl and told her to keep off if she knows what its good for her politely. The girl called me back apologising that shes sorry that My hubby never mentioned he was Married besides he never wore a ring whilst they had an affair!

MOZILLA FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I DONT HATE YOUR MOTHER AND ANY MEMBER OF YOUR FAMILY,
There's a limit to everything!!!

We dont communicate as Couple should, I had a Baby here in the UK, I called his Mother and one of his brothers to tell them. His Elder Brother didnt call me up till this very moment to congratulate me and hubby didnt see anything wrong with it.

None of his family members has even picked up to call to say hi to me up to this very moment instead they keep flashing him and he calls back immediately they need money, mama is lonely, mama is sick, they want him to buy car (they will send the money which they havent sent oo), i want to receive some money in your details, whats your bank details etc.

Life in uk is very very easy you know. My family members keep calling me and my hubby to say hi and know how we are doing, 900 pounds was even sent to assist us till we settled and we returned it.

His Elder brother got married after we left and had a baby and told hubby. Hubby called him and his wife. I didnt not! The Brother goes around tell his mummy bad stories about me. shortly before i left nigeria my mother in law called me that my brother in law has been saying bad stories about me that she knows her son and they often dont get along that i should try to tolerate him. which i m doing,. I sincerely do not have anything against his elder brother afterall i called him few days ago when i told my mum the issue on ground and she counselled myself and hubby. i took up the phone and called his elder brother to say hi.

Brother in law complains about me to hubby referring to past happenings whilst he was staying with us, which i apolosed,  hubby sends an email telling him to ignore me and he insulted me too (imagine i thot marriage was about a man clinging to his wife) mine own clings to his brother believing everything he says.

Since the begining of our marriage it has always been about His Elder bro and for weeks he wouldnt talk to him, eat my food, he comes home late, i was pregnant he keeps sending text messages like i regret marrying u, u hate my family, my bro etc) I will just be home alone crying my eyes out. We dont communicate,


All his brothers are working, but everything concerning mama he does everything all alone. His brothers dont contribute a penny (as they all claim they dont have money) hubby isnt the first born ooo, even up to the bed we were sleeping on, mama said she needed a new bed, the elder bro calls to tell him (hubby didnt have money at that time i was heavily pregnant, do you know i gladly gave the bed out to mama and i was sleeping on the floor with pregnancy) if i hated his mum will i? What stops any of his brothers even hes elder one from doing the same.

We have no savings whatever. I am a mother myself and I dont hate his mum for whatever reasons. My point is If any issues arises regarding mumsie call your other brothers make them involved dont keeping doing everything all alone and let your elder brother know theres a limit to everything,


He sends money to his mummy without telling me what really got my annoyed was the fact that i begged him to send even 30 pounds to my folks (its not about the amount but the love behind it) he shouted saying he doesnt have money, remember i sent money to my mum in law before ooo, i got to know when i checked his account. He changed his pin and email password. If you have nothing to hide why did you change you password and pin?

He even went to the extent of installing a spyware software on the system to get my passwords, emails and chats, I discovered that and removed it and asked me why hes doing that?

I am not being bossy or a nagging wife but you have just made up your mind about me, and you are looking for a perfect wife.

It's a shame that you wrote this story on the internet. Every marriage has up and downs and If you want to run away from me and our son, its up to you.

I work so why did you say i dont and pls learn to speak the truth at all times, your story is filled with lots of lies!

Safe trip back home and all the best

Just remember I Love you and always do


@NL,

Please what wrong  have i done? Thanks