₦airaland Forum

she used to say i am a wicked and difficult person that i keep on bringing up same issues. There was a time she told me her male cousin would be coming to her hostel to stay for one week(i know that her cousin very well though) and i asked where he would be sleeping, she told me same bed. I told her to me thats wrong, if you this isnt any problem to her, then her cousin should know better its a wrong thing to do. I started asking what type of friends she keeps in school(room mate), if your room mates can allow you to bring a male cousin and sleeps there for on week, then it means they can also bring male friends anytime to sleep in the room, no problem. i was like what rubbish is that, then she started saying she knew i was going to talk, she was just testing me bla bla and wanted to check my reaction. she asked why i was talking about her room mates like that bla bla, i was like na mugu you de find? did you expect that i laugh and say kudos to you over what you have told.
i told her we are dating with a positive ending in sight, i will not keep mute over trash i dont like, know me and know i will not take from now. if you are saying am a difficult person, mayb i am. i will not go mute on what i know i will not accept in marriage. better we make changes now, compromises wherever possible or establish the fact that we are not compatible and make everybody fashi

wow!! I don read a lot of comments shha

me o, I am not really into these pictures of a thing, below were the point that actually triggered me

1. she kept posting pictures of her males friends almost everyday
2. she posted a screenshot of her video call with a male friend on her status.
3. i was the one starting up romantic talks everytime, though she used to respond well. I used to tell am if i was in Nigeria now, i would'nt worry about that cuz we will be seeing well, but i no de around, the only way to keep the relationship waxing stronger is to be romantic sometimes. Before i even asked her out, i knew girls of 21yrs old are always difficult to be with, they are not ready to settle down yet, but i got a good vibes from her and decided maybe she is "the one" .

there was even a time i told her all these stuff should be causing problem in a relationship sef, they are easy things to adapt to. I asked mayb thats the way she is and i should accept her that... she said yes, thats her nature and i should accept her like that i told her only a coward would give these kind of answers, it means you are not ready to change at all, only God knows what this kind of lady will dish out in marriage itself. I don't want any trouble in my marriage because i easily make hard decision if i have cogent reasons to.

the romantic thing actually triggered bowing out, pictures on status was not the problem. i told her we cannot be fighting over pictures on status(too childish), i got my point when i discussed it with her and i was like you dont get what you cant give. I am comfortable with her not posting me, but do not expect same gesture from me.... but for being romantic, i refused to be one starting romantic chat everytime, i will change, i will change for about 8months. when i teased her with leaving and saw her attitude, then i made it my permanent decision. when she decided to unblock me, posting pictures of my sister, view my statuses everytime, i just kept mute, she was already outta my mind.

my parents wanted to intervene, i was like no, not at this stage... if issues arise at this stage and we cant solve it without 3rd party intervention, we are bleeped, thats not a good sign at all

CrownOfClay724:
Omo,
I cringed at your tale abeg.
How could you be that simpLE?

If you were a woman, would you agree to date yourself?
Don't you see how she was walking all over you?
She see you finish.

I laugh, i know the kind of person i am shha. I attend to matter as a gentle man till i take my decision. Once its taken, my mind does not go soft again

Dagger111:
You will marry 2nd wife nah.

pls no dagger me o..... 2nd wife khee

Dagger111:
You go see nah, swear OpenSprite haven't slide into ur DM.

she you know "sliding" in supermario

i am almost a married man now

Jirilistic:
Personally I don't fancy dat posting of pictures stuff
There's no need going into something u can't sustain just to please the oda person. With time that zeal to post or send early morning love messages will diminish ànd then even if u decide to still send those messages or post pictures, you'll be doing it out of mere duty and not because u really want to

personally, i dont like my GF posting my pictures, the lady i am with now, she is very proud and eager to post, but i am the one restricting her to do so.. i am comfortable with this since i know am the one restricting her, not that she has this entitlement mentality that a man has to do all in a relationship

Delight2014:
@Op, one thing I observed from the girl is that she has another boyfriend over here and that is the main reason she is not posting your pix on her status. She never really like you, she is just with you because of what she is getting from you, and she didn't have any remorse when you jokingly asked for a break up which she accepted wholeheartedly without giving it a second thought. She is love with someone else not you, that's women for you

She had so many guys on her, so many suitors and she used to gist me about them. She used to gist me about how her ex is back begging her here and there. Generally a lady with that kind of metality will believe their ex will alwayz come back begging, she just failed to realise no be only beauty man de check, some many beautiful women are out there, but beauty and good mentality be koko oo. I didnt even think twice about it, after she did the blocking, i was like c'est fini, now i have seen what i dont like in woman.

She saw me a cool and calm person, but when i take my decision with a valid reason/conclusion, i never come back.

I have had something like that with another lady in 2013, after some many pleading, she ended up blocking and i gave myself sense. She blocked me and i stopped everything in my mind for her and went lowkey. In 2015, she came back begging, invited me to her parents house. I went and greeted, talked and she presented me a gift . I sat her down and let her know i have someone at the moment and i cannot do my gf bad thing she thought i was joking, i went back home and did not communicate with her again. After 4months, she did final blocking.

I hate that thing called blocking. Once a lady blocks me, its alwayz like a direct goodbye, i unplug my heart with immediate effect. I am not a quitter, but once i have valid reasons to quit and after so many attempts to work things out, i quit immediately with regret. I no want headache at all

doggedfighter:
You were patient and explored every option.


Did you try your best? YES !

Do I agree with your point of view? YES !

Her entitlement mentality is out of this world.

Was waiting to read what her parents said about her attitude.

Who gave her that idea that it's the duty of the man in the relationship only to be posting her pictures and sending love messages and being romantic.

Very daft !

Maybe your being abroad is the only thing she likes about you.

Nothing more !

Her Dad called, i acted as if nothing happened. I later blocked her Dad and Mum from calling me because it makes no sense to me. At first, the root of the matter itself is too ugly to be the cause of a problem in relationship at all. Secondly the relationship was too early to be having parent interferring, if we cannot put an issues to bed between us, then such marriage is a potential bomb. I really loved her gan nio, but she gave a genuine reason to leave her without any regret

after some many time of status viewing, i told myself why does she keep seeing my status everytime i upload.. I just deleted her number once and for all and blocked her parents from calling me.

Hey NLs!!!

I read something on the front page just now about a guy having issues in his relationship due to his GF unwilling to post his pictures on her whatsapp status without reason. This makes me wonder why some women or men are like this gansef.

this happened to me some years back, i had a GF(21yrs), we both loved each other and i had even gone to her house to meet her parents, siblings and they all knew my intention. I was 29 at that time and i reside outside the country. The plan was to settle with her right after finishing her school and everything was fine with our plans. I used to post her pictures alot on my status and she used to be very happy about it, she would even request that i post her photos anything she sends me new photos.

At a point, i questioned why she has never posted me on her whatsapp status (though i dont even like that idea) but at least i was expecting her to post, then i can caution her not to post my pictures that much. Imagine, she told me ladies do not post who they are dating, she said it is the duty of man to post a lady he is dating. i felt haaa, what is this this is a lady that posts his male friends on her status, she posts pictures, videos, even video call screenshot.

i had to call her attention that it is inappropriate to be posting a screenshot of your video call with a male friend on your status. what kind of message are you sending across to me she adjusted on that, but i was cool with pic or video of her male friends.

As a gentleman, i explained so many things to her on phone, i told her if you are always happy whenever i post your photo, dont you think i will be happy whenever you post me as well? As a direct man, i told the ultimate reason i know why ladies do this habit is that they dont want people to know him so that if Bleep up comes, its as if he was a ghost before, nobody will ask about him(she declined). she said as far as she knows, it is my duty to post hjer and not hers to post me. so i just decided to stop posting as well.

at a point, she told me she likes morning love messages and i should be sending her. i just smiled and i started doing that. o boy there was a day i forgot to and she confronted me why didnt send. i got angry and asked her if she has ever sent me any love message before(she told it is the duty of man to send his Gf love message), then i was begining to finalize my thought about her "entitlement mentality" I told her i would stop the love message henceforth because if something makes you happy and you cannot reciprocate it, then Bleep it.

we used to have issues too about being romantic, i had to be one to bring romantic stuff everytime (she used to respond well). i confronted her a point, she told me she does not know how to start romantic topic, well i was like small small she will change. for almost 8months, no changes, we used to fight alot on this. i was like i no de naija, how can we be chatting how are you? how was work? what did you eat eveyday, i told her i was getting bored of that(just to make her up her game) but na lie.

i was begining to tell myself it seems we are not compatible. I called her and explained to her for the last time about all the issues we are having. I told her i am open to communication and its good we know the source of issues we are having and we should try and rectify things, we shha settle it and we laughed over the issue, but i promised one thing that if we have any issues again related to the usual ones, then i would take a hard decison. After 4weeks, it came up again, i texted her that i will not accept that kind of attitude, we are just bf and gf, if we are having issues despite knowing the source of it and its difficult for you to change, being a husband and wife will be troublesome. i told her better we call it off (honestly did that to situp again), but she replied me with okay. next thing she blocked me on my whatsapp, the following day i sent an apology message using my second whatsapp, she read and blocked that one too, she went to facebook and blocked me from there too. I just smiled that with all these attitude, i cannot marry such a lady because i get strong head, but i will try and be patient to the last, once my head turns, there is no stopping for me.

i waited for her to unblock for 2 weeks, she didnt, then my concluded i cannot marry someone like this. may be she was waiting for me to start calling and beg. after 3weeks, she unblocked my whatsapp, uploading my sister's photo on her status, view by status each time, but me i no send again. i didnt message her, then on her birthday, i greeted her usually, asked for my money back. I gave her some cash to run a business alongside her schooling and i loaned her some later to expand the business. i told her i would get the loaned cash back. we had plans to set a business later up that i would be getting 20%, she gets 50% and her mum gets 30%. on her birthday, i shha requested for cash i loaned her to be returned when its due(the month i told her i would get the cash back). she got angry that i should have even greeted her.i just smiled. the month came and i got my cash back. her dad used to call and i will answer him not nothing happened.

the koko of it is that

if your gf decides not to upload you, no big deal is there, she might have reasons which might be valid ones, but if she expects you to upload her photos, and she cannot do it in return... Bleep that