₦airaland Forum

Hello fellow Nairalanders.

I have a very strong issue bothering my mind, there is this lady I'm in love with, the love is very mutual as she is also madly in love with me too. She's everything I want in a woman and I am planning on getting married and settling down with her next year.

The issue is that, I am Igbo but my girlfriend Yoruba. Personally, I have no issue with that, she doesn't too but my parent does. This past week, mum overheard me speaking to her on the phone in Yoruba language and with the way I sounded over the phone, she knew we were dating. Immediately I ended the call with my girlfriend, my mum asked if that was my gf I just finished speaking yoruba to on the phone, I nodded in affirmation, mum said it's over her dead body will I marry a Yoruba girl, she was warning me when my Dad entered, my Dad being a Pastor, I thought he would reason with me and see reason from my perspective, but instead, he supported my mother.

They both gave me reasons why the idea of me marrying my Yoruba gf is dead on arrival. One of it is how my gf will cope anytime we travel to our home town and she's invited to the Igbo women meetings, will she be hired an interpreter to interprete bits by bits whatsoever they are saying? Or will she forced them to speak English instead of the official igbo language being spoken at meeting?

Another reason they both gave me is that, no one in our lineage has married to anyone who is not igbo, both from my Paternal or Maternal side and I won't be the first. My Dad once said that if eventually I marry my Yoruba gf, I will forget my roots, I won't be coming home regularly and with time, she will force me not to come home at all.. and so on and so forth.

It's so glaring that my parent are TRIBALISTIC. There is no two ways about it.

I really love this girl, she's very decent. Her mum is aware we are dating and it seems there won't be any problem or issue from my gf's family side. I really want to marry her as she's my ideal type of woman, however, leaving her can be mentally and emotionally damaging to us.

How do I cope with my tribalistic parent? How do I convince them that my love for her knows no boundaries, tribe or race? Is there anything my parent are seeing that is still blind to me?

I'm in dire need for mature minded advice.

Thanks in anticipation