₦airaland Forum

I've been married for five years, what you're going through is not out of place. My wife had similar traits in the first few months, many days of keeping malice and then graduated to not cooking food to further show her protest. It became tougher when we had our first child, she will nag at every little thing and even disrespect me by calling me names. Although I called her names back, but never laid my hands on her, calling her names didn't change her behaviour, then I switched to ignoring her when she starts her silly attitude, that worked for a while until she grew a tougher skin and acts like she couldn't be bothered. From my observations, the new age working class wife can't condone being submissive to their husband, the ego sets in and want to assume a parallel role of wife playing husband, that's the root of the problem. However, these were the few steps I took to sustain the marriage this long;

1) Get closer to God, pray and spend more time going to church, I'm Catholic, so I doubled up going for evening mass and try not to miss Sunday mass.

2) Socialise more with friends, spend time having fun and give her space.

3) Work hard and pay up bills, try not to ever ask her for money or worry about her earnings.

4) Ignore, ignore, ignore her when she starts ranting.

5) Surprise her by taking her out every now and then or buy gifts for her when there's no occasion.

6) Learn how to bang her brains out.

7) Cheat wisely to gain sanity

I bet you she will love and respect you more. NB be careful with number 7, don't act stupid and start to fall in love with the side chick. Papi4money say so!

Marriage is a journey embarked on between two individuals from different background and often times also with different upbringing. For these reasons, friction and misunderstanding is likely to erupt between newly married couples at the initial stage because you suddenly realise your ways of doing things are not the same. The blame game sets in, you try to correct and manipulate other half to suit your way all in a jiffy, arguments arises, I don't like this, you don't do that, why not do that, do it that way etc. From experience, here are few pointers I think can sustain a marriage.

1) Money is the manure for love; A man must provide for his family.

2) marriage should not be seen as a competition, it's a joint effort

3) effective communication should be established without raising eyebrows

4) There must be trust between both partners, no need sniffing around looking for clues to distrust your other half

5) Give each other some space every now and then, travel away and spend time alone. It will allow you miss each other and might just re ignite the love .

6) A wife must, except when ill be willing to give her body to her husband when he's in need. Do not deny your husband of sex if you want to keep him. Try to initiate it and spice it up with different positions.

I will add more soonest. ......