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Jokes Etc › Na So You Bad Reach?? by Pascalblinks(op): 9:26pm On May 17, 2017

NA SO YOU BAD REACH huh

PART 1 .
Kai, having read all this stories and all them girls write-up, I began thinking in my head, what if I wasn’t giving my girlfriend enough ffuucck right now, would she go and ffuucckk someone else? shocked shocked Yesu….. I dey fear ooo… Though me no dey faithful in the sense of fucckking only one toto but na only she me love sha… A man is polygamous in nature so una no fit blame me. Make una just dey hail me so my head go dey big but if I give another girl belle carry am come talk for here, make una no condemn me oooooo grin grin grin grin…. *********************************************** *********************************************** **** Me don dey work for another organization for Abuja and I been don yan una that one before, I believe say some people fit don see me but them no know say na me be foxybone… Even people for office dey follow me but them no know say na me and I never ready to tell them jor. grin grin grin As I comot from inside office that fateful afternoon make I go buy recharge card and after that go chop food for one buka close to office na (if I call the name, person fit know) na so I jam this babe for the recharge card joint, she ma wan buy card but this time no be the first time wey me dey see am. I just look her bakassi wey she dey carry gimme sleepless day each time I sight am. Na so I blow whistle enter air come stare as the shape of her pant come show for the short black skirt wey she wear. Na so my stupid diicckk just nod im head, choi, the penniss no go disgrace me one day oo. “Abeg gimme MTN for N750” I tell the recharge card girl using the coolest voice wey I fit muster take count the words. Na so the babe turn look me na so I turn my face like say another thing catch my attention while I just jump dey dance ajasco for my mind. Kai… If I hear say na N750 recharge card I wan buy, I go carry that thing go sell to my oga jor. angry angry “Bros see am o.” I just hear the ugly recharge card girl tell me. “Thank you. You boyfriend suppose hold you tight o, you na wife material you be” Na so I tell the babe come turn dey go dey laugh for my mind grin, wife material indeed, if you dash her to me, I go carry am do blood money I swear. I just waka jejely go wear them dey sell food come siddon, na so I wan order Akpu and Afang soup the same babe come follow me waka enter the buka ma. Which kind devil dey send this one na, na so I come dey vex small small for my mind. “Waiter, please bring me white soup, rice with plantain and a bottle of malt to go with it.” Yesu, I turn glutton immediately while my pocket just dey cry. Na me wan spend N1,200 so because of say I wan impress person wey I never even talk to. As I finish make my order na so the babe just carry her busy body from where she been stand dey look for seat come siddon close to me. Na so I carry eye look down come see as her yellow laps just dey stare me for my face. Chei!! How I wan carry talk to this fine sisi now, I begin rack my brain for how I go carry start. “Please bring me garri and vegetable soup” Na so she tell waiter wey drop my food for table. Kai… So na wetin she wan chop na im me dey shame to chop akpu. Wey I for just manage my money wey no go reach me do transport go house na cry cry cry The vex just make me bone dey eat my food, just dey use the fork and knife wey I no even dey use to. “How do you enjoy this combination?” Na so she throw me the question. Men!!! See falling hands, say na bad combination be this abi wetin you dey yarn sef angry “You should try it someday, experience they say surpasses stories” I answer her back. Na only her sabi English ne undecided “I already did that, had to go for check up after I could not control my stooling for days” She come answer. See this woman dey talk of sh..it wey me dey chop. “Sorry about that, we all have different metabolism, mine prefers something like this because of the kind of work I do.” My bad mind come urge me forward: “You know how it is when you stay up at night doing what you are supposed to be doing in the gym during the day” Na so she come laugh as she understand where I dey drive go. Na so me just concentrate on my food dey chop like no man’s business while my head dey calculate how I wan carry ask her her name and phone number. “Hey… Are you gonna finish all that?” She come ask like bollor angry “Why not, I paid full money for it so I’m going to eat to my fill. I don’t joke with my stomach.” I answer her as I dey drink the water of the white soup. “You are funny” She say as she dey laugh. I resemble basket mouth neh? The last time wey I check, him get dada and big mouth while I fair come get slim lip tongue tongue “I will take that as a compliment.” I answer as I comot money from pocket dey pay the waiter, come use style comot my complimentary card ma drop am for table for her. “You may holla at me.” I tell her as I begin waka, dey form big boy. cool cool cool . Click on the link below to continue reading . naijanoisemakers.com/2017/05/17/na-bad-reach-part-1/

Romance › Na So You Bad Reach??? by Pascalblinks(op): 8:53pm On May 17, 2017

NA SO YOU BAD REACH huh

Romance › Chronicles Of A Runs Girl by Pascalblinks(op): 12:21pm On May 17, 2017*

CHRONICLES OF A RUNS GIRL PART 1
.

Running girl
I have learnt many things in life and one of
them is that you cannot run for your life in
high
heel shoes.
As I was running down the slope of Falomo
Bridge, at some time past 4 am, I was
actually
praying for the heels of my Dorothy Perkins
shoes to break because I did not dare to stop
to take them off. I was no longer aware of
Mama running behind me. I couldn’t hear her
footsteps but I wasn’t stopping to check on
her; it was well and truly an every-chick-for-
herself kind of situation. And besides, we
have
always told her to lose weight. Maybe now, if
we make it out of this alive, she would finally
learn the folly of embracing her orobo title.
At the bottom of the bridge, on the Ikoyi side,
I
ran into the remnants of a police check point.
The officers were drinking what I can only
assume to be paraga, and counting the days
take. If I was shocked to happen on them at
four in the morning, they were equally
startled
to see a yellow girl in a cream low-cut chiffon
dress running at them. They scattered away
from my path and would have let me
continue
if at that point Mama had not called out to
me
and finally break my get-away.
The policemen regained their composure and
immediately proceeded to arrest us, pointing
their guns and shouting at us to tell them
who
we were.
I was out of breath, Mama even more so. The
officers waited while their paraga woman
opined that we must be ashewos and they
agreed, without relenting their hold on their
weapons.
As I was contemplating whether it was wise
to
tell them from what we had fled, Mama, ever
the loud mouth, filled them in with every ‘oh’
and ‘ah’ of her thick Yoruba accent.
“Ritual killer!” she shouted. “He is there on
the
bridge. He stopped to piss, that is how we
escaped. He didn’t know I speak Yoruba. He
was telling his friend on the phone that he
has
found two girls for the ritual!”
Indeed, she was right. The boy had picked us
up at the gate of Shoprite and taken us to his
hotel room at the Four Points. He spoke
funeh
and ordered room service for us. Mama had
asked for big Stout and assorted meat
pepper
soup, which the kitchen didn’t have, and I
had
accepted his offer to share a bottle of wine
with
him.
He had been gentle and nice, and he came
across as every bit the mugun. Mama had
been
first to start touching him up but he had
shyly
reclined from her fat arms and in due course
started talking to me instead.
He wanted to know what I did for a living.
Somebody who had picked me off the road
at
past midnight wanted to know what I did for
a
living. I told him I was a student, which was
not
a lie, and he wanted to know why I had
decided
to study mass-com, which I wasn’t studying.
He
talked at length about his life in London and
how he was only in Nigeria for a UN contract.
I chopped, Mama chopped. She even sent me
a
BB message when he was asking how many
we
were in my family. In her message she asked
me to let the boy do without condom while
she
pretended to be asleep. She said that that
would make the mugun fall in love. Mama’s
over zealousness has rendered her advices
and
opinions irrelevant, so I wasn’t even upset at
her stupidity.
No long thing, Mama soon covered her bulky
body with the duvet and pretended to be
asleep
and the London boy finally approached me.
He
asked that I follow him into the bathroom
and I,
playing the part, asked him why.
We bleeped right there on the bed – with a
condom – and Mama did not once move
even
when I pinched her buttom.
I let him hold me as he fell asleep and I must
have fallen asleep as well because his phone
woke us up.
He took the call in the bathroom and Mama
pretended to wake up. When he returned he
looked upset. He explained that he had to fly
to
Abuja on the first flight out of Lagos and
asked
where we lived and if he could drop us off.
I sensed Mama about to ask him for money
so
I quickly told him he could get us a cab to
Ikoyi.
He refused to let us take a cab at that time of
the morning; he was going to drop us so he
could know where I stayed – so he could
come
see me when he returned later in the night.
He
then asked if I could come with him to Abuja.
It
was a business meeting, he said, it would
take
all of two hours then we would catch the last
flight to Lagos. Flights cost around thirty k. If
he was willing to pay that much just for me
to
follow him to Abuja and back, how much
would
I end up fleecing out of him?
It was on the way to Ikoyi that he called up
his
friend and started talking in near whispers in
Yoruba. Both Mama and I speak fluent
Yoruba;
we grew up in Lagos, after all. When he
pulled
over on the deserted bridge and told us he
had
to pee, no one begged us to jump out of his
car
and run. I have never run so fast in my life.
The policemen listened to our story as told
by
Mama and asked us if we wanted to come to
the station to make a statement.
“He is on the bridge!” Mama shouted at
them.
“You can still catch him!” I was thinking the
same.
One of the officers explained their position:
“See
ehn, just go and do thanksgiving that he did
not succeed. By now he would have run
away.
How do we know where to catch him?”
Mama pointed out that we could take them to
his hotel room but the same officer explained
that “hotel people don’t like that kind of
trouble.
They won’t even let us see the man. Just go
home and you too, stop doing ashara.”
We stayed with the policemen, partly out of
having been placed under arrest and partly
out
of not wanting to be alone, and we listened to
them tell stories of girls who had barely
escaped ritual killers, just like we had. When
they were ready to leave we realised we were
also free to go. We begged them to drop us
home and, surprisingly, they obliged.
When we got to the boys’ quarters on Peeple
Road that we share with four other girls,
there
was no light. Clara, whose real name is
Nkem,
opened the door for us because they had
locked the padlocks from inside.
“From where you ashewos dey come from
this
night?” she asked and thus unleashed
Mama’s
impatience to narrate our ordeal all over
again.
Clara woke Toyin, Toyin woke Beatrice,
Beatrice
woke Antina who woke two other girls I
didn’t
know and who had taken my spot and
Mama’s
spot on the mattress.
Clara lit a kerosene lamp and the girls
listened
in silence as Mama embellished the story
with
magic rings and hidden charms. At the end
of
her tale the girls exchanged looks then burst
out into laughter.
I was trying to see the humour when one of
the
strangers explained it to me.
It wasn’t a new thing; in fact, many sharp
girls
had fallen for the same trick. The boy wasn’t
a
ritual anything; he simply didn’t want to pay
us
and he tricked us into running away.
The girl, whose name turned out to be Kenny,
assured us that if we went back to the hotel
we
would be told that the occupant had checked
out, probably on his way to Abuja as he
claimed.
To say I was pained is an understatement.
But
Mama preferred her own interpretation and
hung on to the ritual story, no doubt, to be
repeated to many a girl in the days to come. I
only wished that she would leave my name
out
of it.
I was still smarting from being played so
deftly
when Kenny asked if we had checked our
bags.
Mama asked why, but I had clocked. I
opened
my bag up to the glow of the lantern and
searched frantically. I emptied the contents of
the bag onto the floor and searched the inner
pockets. My money was gone.
That morning, as I lay on the crowded
mattress,
seething with anger and loathing the alarm
that
would soon go off to wake me up to get
ready
and go to school, I prayed to God to let me
see
that boy again. I didn’t tell God what I
planned
to do with him when I saw him.
My name is Amaka, by the way. But people
call
me Juliet.
.
click on the link below to continue reading

http://naijanoisemakers.com.ng/2017/05/12/chronicles-runs-girl-part-1/

Romance › Day I Dis-flowered One Fine Igbo Girl by Pascalblinks(op): 8:17pm On May 16, 2017*

DAY I DIS-FLOWERED ONE FINE IGBO GIRL PART 1
.
I met her while I was just strolling down the
neighbourhood with some of my homies. Na
so
she materialise, fine Igbo girl no pimple. I
gbadun her style with her small, sharp
dimple.
She so simple. She’s go an ice cream
(yuzedu’s
voice) lap so fresh so clean with her pointed
semi-grown twins. I felt like squeezing the
damn thing right there I couldn’t hold back
or let go, she’s so damn sweet. In fact, she
would pass for a candy. As a sharp
Northerner
nigga, I popped my collar and hollered “Hi” I
greeted her with a very nice tone. “Hello” she
replied me with a smile on her face. “Shoo, e
be
like I go follow dis babe o. She even reply me
come dey smile join” I tot. “Guy, follow am
na, u
dey jones o” my guys encouraged. I
summoned
courage follow d babe. “How are you girl” I
asked softly. “I’m fine, and u?” She replied
like
a
matured girl and asked back. “I’m gud. I’m ..
(I
told her my name st8) nice to meet u, may I
knw ur name?” I asked. She said her name is
Joy. “Joy u’re such an angel, which of the
heaven did u come from?” I teased. “U’re not
serious” she said as she smiled with a dimple
on
her cheek.
“Yeeeee, omo dis babe na die oh, if I
no toast dis babe make I die” I said to
myself.
“So do u stay around?” I asked her wit a kind
of
charming smile on my face that no girl, I
repeat
no girl will ever resist. “Ikoyi, and you?” She
said and asked where I live. I told her and
she
said fine. We got to a place and she said she
going to the market to buy provisions. I
asked
her if she don’t mind if I escort her and she
said
no. So we both entered keke napep as a
sharp
Northerner dude I paid for d keke rider
immediately. I followed her and she bought
all
that she wanted and we came out and too
another keke to the main bus stop where she
took a bus to her place.
She told me she’s 20yrs old and I told her
I’m
25 (na my soccer age be dat oh). We
exchanged phone numbers and we both
departed. I called her the following day and
we
chatted fine. I told her I missed her already
she
just laughed. She said she will be coming to
the
market by the weekend and that she will like
to
come see my place. I said ok fine, I was so
happy that day that I celebrated with a big
bottle of stout. No be small tin oh… I couldnt
wait for weekend to come I need to see dis
fine
babe. I’ve never had it my way with such kain
sweet potato. Sunday came and I arranged
my
crib wella that you’d think I’m expecting
Queen
Elizabeth, the Queen of England.. I Cleared all
the dirty laundries, package dem for one
coded
corner. Sweep everywhere as usual. Spray
some perfumes. I was damn broke dat day I
had go and borrow some doe from a friend
to
buy some stuffs for entertaining my guest. I
bought and apple juice, a pack of short bread
biscuit and placed dem nicely inside my mini
fridge. I brought out my precious SK (high-
grade) from the freezer, I like it when it’s cold
it
makes the brain to chill yamean. I cut a very
small amount frm the SK and wrapped a very
tiny sized joint, hit the bathroom/toilet, light
my
stuff while I’m shyyyyte… I smoked my thing
with no rush, cleaned my a’ss and then
grabbed my mouth brush and toothpaste and
cleaned my mouht up. I took my bath and
came out fresher than ever! I was dressing
up
when my phone rang, it was Joy, I picked the
call and said “Hello Joy!” Her sweet voice
came
in “hi, good morning” she said, I noticed the
time was 11:45am just 15mins to noon. She
told me she was at the bus stop now and I
quickly dressed up, spray my self and
dashed
out to pick her fine a’ss up.
.
click on the link below to continue reading
http://naijanoisemakers.com.ng/2016/12/10/day-dis-flowered-one-fine-igbo-girl-part-1/

Romance › Aunty Clara by Pascalblinks(op): 10:24pm On May 15, 2017*

AUNTY CLARA PART 1
.

In my semi-conscious state I could hear
heavy Noises, which sounded like Gun shots
but I wasn’t bordered cus for me the gift of
sleep was the best gift mankind ever had, so
I
continued in my long siesta, the noise
became unbearable as people started
screaming ferociously, it was then I opened
my eyes and to my greatest consternation it
was already dark ,wow I had slept for over
five hours, from the ensuing circumstances I
could Apprehend an unrest, the first thing
that came to my mind was that der was a
clash between vengeful cultist, but at the
other side I could hear incantation by
students ‘We no go gree o, we no go gree’ .
Stepping outside I saw students packing
books, boxes running helter skelter, some
holding Guns others shooting sporadically in
the air, turning cars upside down like they
had acquired some kind of supernatural
power , setting shops and items ablaze, for
some reason I felt I was still sleeping because
it felt like a dream, or better still a scene in a
war movie.
Okay there was a riot in my school that day
(evening ) and I was lucky to make it out
alive from the hostel, but thanks to this
unfortunate event I had an experience of a
life
time.
School was subsequently closed for 6 full
months, so I had a lot of free time on my
hands and I had no idea what to use my time
for, I thought of working but my dad wouldn’t
let me, he said I shouldn’t think of making
money so early in life so I wouldn’t be
distracted from studies, I was so bored that I
felt I was a magician after watching so many
videos of Criss Angel but as Criss himself I
had to make my boring predicament
disappear, I thought to myself. So I went to
my dad and gave him reasons why I needed
to travel, and he surprisingly obliged and
before I knew it I was on a flight to Abuja,
where I was to stay with my Aunty, an Aunty
which I had come across only once, she was
the sexiest Aunty I ever saw, Tall, Dark,
Busty,
yes she had so much curves that you could
use her to draw a graph, as I said I only met
her once and I was about to meet her again.
I landed in Abuja 25 minutes after I left
calabar, it’s funny how fast a plane can
transport some1. Landing in the Abuja airport
I entered a bus which took me to the Main
airport reception, I was starting to feel
uncomfortable not until I saw her…MISS Clara
was her name and being s*xy** was her
game. I saw her from a distance and I
started
moving closer towards her, I could feel my
heart beating because I wasn’t sure of what I
would say to her, but before I could ponder
some more she completed the distance
between us and gave me a big hug, the aura
around her was magnificent maybe it was
because of her expensive perfume I don’t
know, her looks, her eyes, her outfit only
dripped with radiance…she was what I would
call ‘fine Girl no pimples’, miss Clara was a
tall lady who stood at about 5 foot 4, she
was
light in complexion or what I would call
chocolate, she had lovely brown hair, light
make up on, dark long eye lashes which were
by the way not fixed but natural, I noticed her
aquiline nose which I probably reasoned was
an interplay of Genes from my father’s side,
whose mother was a Lebanese, miss Clara
had this deep red lipstick on, with luscious
lips which made Angelina Jolie look bad, she
was clad in a short red gown, which was a V-
neck, for me it exposed a little too much, as I
cud see here big mammary glands, popping
out for recognition. Looking at her I realised I
knew little or nothing about this young lady
who was probably in her early 30’s but I was
sure I would find out sooner or later. My face
was virtually buried in between her booobs
while the hug lasted, this was because of her
height which was buttressed by her brown
high heel Louis Vuitton shoes, after the hug
she took a brief glance at me, and exclaimed
how fast I had grown considering the last
time she saw me, she held me in the hand as
we proceeded to her 406 Peugeot car, to say
the least I was impressed, but even more
when I arrived at her apartment.
On my way to her house I did get a glaring
view of the city of Abuja, the federal capital
territory, from the plane the city looked like a
village to me, with a lot of dust and untarred
roads, the height must have impaired my
visual abilities because looking at the city
from the car, Abuja looked like a vast
uncompleted building, structures being
constructed everywhere, new roads on the
verge of completion, skyscrapers made up of
all sort of bricks and precious materials,
companies and industries at every nook and
cranny, luxurious cars, sit outs etc. and all
the roads looked to me like a high way
because it was devoid of go slow or any form
of congestion, I also noticed the absence of
obnoxious police and road safety officers
asking for every car particular, license,
insurance, fire extinguisher even a Waec
result…lol… In a nutshell the city was lovely
and if I didn’t know better I would say that all
of the countries resources were deposited in
this place.
So we reached her apartment, she lived in an
area called wuye and, from our conversation
in the car she said she rented the self-
contained with 3 rooms for a whooping sum
of 950 thousand per annum. On entering
Clara’s abode I was greeted by this
scintillating odour in her vast parlour, it was
so pleasant that I had to inquire where the
refreshing smell came from, and she pointed
at some bouquet of flowers, which she said
she bought during her trip to Dubai with her
Boyfriend, boyfriend?! I muttered to myself,
her boyfriend was probably one of this young
oil moguls, or better still a very successful
entrepreneur I muttered some more, anyway
beside me was her 21 inch flat screen tv
hanging on her white wall, it was painted
white and designed with this lovely brown
patches that looked like stars, beneath the tv
was her home theatre with vertical speakers
by the sides to support it, she had this lovely
leather chairs , a Dining table on an elevated
floor behind them, which was made possible
by just a step, and Gorgeous floor tiles which
gave the house an illuminating background,
all this Engulfed in her unbelievably chilled
parlour, Equipped with heavy horse powered
LG air conditioner, still basking in the
splendour of this aesthetic home, Clara
beckoned on me not to worry that she will
Give me a tour of the house later on, but for
now I should follow her to my room where I
would keep my travelling bags and take a
bath to freshen up.
She led me straight to my room and I
followed religiously, I was so caught in the
moment that I almost forgot how beautiful
my host was, this made me wonder which
was more beautiful Herself or the house,
Clara
led me to my room, which was equally
impressive, a bed with nice bed covers, an air
conditioner on the wall, a wardrobe and a
rest room which I later discovered, it seemed
like the room had not been occupied before,
because it was very vacant, well it was just
how I liked it, with her soft hands placed on
my chicks and a stare like a woman looking
into her lovers eye she asked me ‘swidy I
hope you like your room’ and I exclaimed
‘who wouldn’t‘ and she gave me a bright
smile, she told me to freshen up because she
was about to do same and meet her in her
room so I can remind her to make me launch,
her room was just opposite mine, the rooms
were situated in a corridor which was an
extension of the parlour, by the way this was
just 2 o’clock in the afternoon. She detached
her hand from my chick, licks her thumb in a
most seductive way and wipes through my
eyelashes in a bid to straighten them…on her
way out she turns her face back to me and
asks if I want to come in to the Jacuzzi with
her, Like a congested Hard disk my brain
found it hard to process her question, when
she saw the troubled look on my face she
smiled mischievously at me and said ‘see you
in a jiffy’ and she headed to her room…, I
stood there clueless, with mixed feelings,
feelings of sexual excitement on one hand
and a craving for un limitless adventure on
the other, but the mere thought of her being
my blood relation extinguished this Nutty
fantasies.
I dropped my bags unpacked a few clothes
and items, took a bath and laid down on my
bed trying to get acquainted with my new
environment, in the midst of my
retrospection,
my phone rang I picked it up and saw a
strange number , on answering it I heard a
female voice, ‘Swidy it’s me Clara, come to
my room, I need your help with something’ I
was surprised that she had my number, but
on second thought I reasoned that my dad
must have given it to her, but that aside,
what
was paramount on my mind at that moment
was what she wanted my help for, so I stood
up and headed to her door, and knocked
nervously and in less than 5 seconds the
door
opened, I couldn’t believe my eyes, I stood
there for a moment completely overwhelmed
with my mouth Agape, staring directly at my
so called Aunty who was now…
Wearing a different outfit, to tell the truth I
thought I would open the door to see a very
Unclad Clara, but instead she had changed
into a white body hug top and a blue jean, I
could see her pink Bra through her top,
which
held in place her voluptuous bosoms, she
said I should help put her chain around her
neck because she can’t seem to do it herself,
so I took it from her and put the chain
around her, she used her hand to shift her
hair to the side, to give room for me to hook
the chain together, as she waved her hair
aside i was immediately drawn to the
tantalising smell of her hair, it smelt like the
fresh air in the beginning of rainy season, all
this while, I had never really noticed it, her
hair was 100% natural she hadn’t fixed any
attachment, a little longer than the average
Nigerians woman’s hair, smooth and soft at
least that’s how it looked, probably she must
had been treating it with some expensive
cream, I thought, it was brown in colour but
there was nothing to suggest that it was due
for relaxing or perming, I suddenly gained
consciousness when she said ‘are you
done?’,
I hurriedly hooked the chain and said yes,
she
turned to me, told me to escort her to the car
so that she can drop me off at a fast food
just some miles from the house, so I can buy
myself launch, she told me that she was in a
hurry to meet up with some one, she dropped
me at the place, I ate there and I paid my
way
back home, she had a dstv, dvd, and an Ipad
just lying around the house, so I had no
reason to get bored. I played around with this
things till I slept of, if I can recall correctly I
think she came back around 9pm, when she
came back she simply covered me with a
blanket, while I was sleeping on the most
comfy chair in the world, her parlour chair. I
slept like a baby that night.

.
click on the link below to continue reading
http://naijanoisemakers.com.ng/2017/05/12/aunty-clara-part-1/

Romance › First Time For Vicky by Pascalblinks(op): 6:12pm On May 13, 2017*

FIRST TIME FOR VICKY PART 1
.

But he is over 60 years old, said
Guy.
Well maybe he is but he is in great shape, his
body looks
more like he is 40. Guy, all my lady friends
say
that you boys
don’t become men until age 40 and Carlo has
20
years of experience
as a man, so he has the experience to teach
our
daughter what
she needs to know in order to be popular
with
high school boys and men in general.
Jean, how are we going to get Vicky to go
along
with this? After all she like all the other kids
and
people in general
think that young is good and anything over
40 is
bad, said
Guy.
Guy, you and I will have to do a little brain
washing. we will
talk to her about the benefits of learning
about
s*x from an
older man.
Jean, how will we convince Carlo Giovanni to
teach our Vicky about s*x? he is rather
conservative, Italian/American, grandfather
and I
am not sure he would look at another
woman.
Guy, his wife hasn’t slept with him in years
and if
he is a red
Blooded, Italian male, he is hot and Hot.
Leave
him to me and
I will convince him. He also likes Vicky a lot.
Do
you remember
how he played with her in their pool last
summer
at the company picnic? They could not stop
touching each other while
they played in the water. Since there were so
many people in the pool, Carlo didn’t think
anyone would notice.
The next day the front door slammed close
as
Vicky entered the house after school. Vicky,
what
the problem, dear, her mother asked? Vicky
ran
into her bedroom crying. Her mother
follows her into the room and sits next to
Vicky on
the bed.
Jean, just sits there and waits for Vicky to
calm
down.
Oh mother I hate high school none of the
boys
even look at me and I got cut from the cheer
leader tryouts.
Vicky, I need to
talk to you about your problem. Will you
listen to
me and
quit crying, please.
Yes, mother I will listen.
Well Vicky you
need to learn about boys and s*x.
Yes, mother I agree. I don’t
know much about those two subjects, but I
don’t
know how to go about
learning. Most of the high school kids are all
talk.
They don’t
know Sh*t and from I hear from other girls,
boys
don’t do anything
for their girlfriend, only for themselves.
Vicky, now that you are growing up I am
going to
tell you some
things I did when I was your age and even
younger. Well my best friend and I both
made the
cheerleaders squad, when she
lost her cherry to the captain of the varsity
football team. A
good looking guy by the name of Josh
Logan. Well
it was a very
bad experience for her. He did it in the back
seat
of his dad’s car in the high school parking lot
after
the game. He didn’t take his time to make
sure
she was ready, he just rammed it in and
did his thing and took her home in pain, both
physical and psychological.
I talked to my mom and told her about what
happened. But mom was from the old school,
s*x
was bad, but
necessary and only after you got married.
So I asked my aunt
Sue, she was a lot younger than mom and
being
dad’s sister, she
was a lot more with it than mom. Since aunt
sue
had never got
married and had lots of boy friends, I just
knew
she could help
me understand about boys and s*x. Aunt Sue
told me that having s*x with boys was like
taking
a ride in a high powered car without any
brakes,
fast acceleration but no control. A dangerous,
one
with little or no consideration for your
pleasure
and welfare. Aunt Sue said it was important
that
the first time you had s*x that it was a good
experience. Aunt
Sue said that males don’t grow up to become
men until the age
of 40. These men are better partners for
women
of any age, but
in particular for girls with little or no
experience,
because:
1) they have more experience
2) they understand women and our bodies
better
3) they have more patience, are not in a big
rush
4) they want to please us
5) they are less likely to be focused on only
pleasing themselves,
6) they are less likely to be wrapped up in
their
career, their job, and themselves
7) they know more about the mechanics of
s*x
and how to
adapt this knowledge to meet our needs and
their.
more likely to cooperate with you when you
desire to
become a mom, by planting his seed where
and
when it
will do the most good.
9) they make better dad’s because they have
grown up
enough to realize how important it is to be a
good
dad
and will spend as much time as possible at
home
with you
and the kids.
God mom, I never though about these things,
but
they seem
to make sense. But dad is the only older man
I
know, but you and I know that dad and I are
too
much alike for me to be comfortable with and
he
is after all my dad and I cannot
do anything with my dad, no way!
Vicky, there is another mature male you
know,
just think about it for a while and when you
remember who he is come
talk to me about him. When Vicky was in bed
her
mother looked in to say good night and Vicky
said
mom could it be
dad’s boss Carlo?
Yes, dear you are exactly right.
Well mom
Carlo is a lot of fun and he so nice and nice
looking too.
But, I so seldom see him that even if I
wanted to it
would not be
possible.
Vicky, I think i can help you in this matter,
but
only for you
to spend some quality time with Carlo,
everything
else will
have to be up to you.
Mom, didn’t I hear you tell dad that
in spite of the fact that his wife doesn’t sleep
with
him any
more he doesn’t have any lady friends.
Yes, dear I did say that, but when there is a
will
there is a way. I know Carlo
likes you a lot! Remember your time in the
pool
with him last year at the company picnic?
Yea, that’s right we had a
good old time hugging, pushing, shoving and
of
course splashing each other.
Vicky, I happen to know that Carlo has to go
to
California
for some business, at Stanford University the
same date you
have your trip for that awesome soccer
tournament in the same
area of the state. your dad and I cannot go
because of some
of our best friends are coming to visit us that
week end. Well it seems that the team mom
and
the coach said that a
relative from each family had to travel with
each
player
on this trip. I was going to call your aunt, but
I
think I can
talk Carlo into being your uncle for the week
end.
Remember the last soccer trip? Due to the
fact
you
girls didn’t get any sleep because you talked
to
each other all night, you ran out of gas and
lost
in the final so now the coach want each girl
in her
own room with
only her adult family member.
Vicky, I need you to be honest with me. Now
tell
me the truth,
are you still a virgin?
Mother, how could you ask me such
a personal question?
Yes, I know dear but it is a very important
question, so tell me the truth.
Well all right,
I am sure you will be glad to hear that I am. I
am
glad Vicky,
I didn’t want you to have a very unpleasant
experience your
first time.
Well Vicky, I am going to make an
appointment
for you with
my doctor and have him put you on the pill
right
away.
And Vicky I will arrange it so we will have
Carlo over for
dinner one night and see if he need someone
to
man his nice,
large, sail boat. He told me no one in his
family
wanted to
sail, so he was unable to do what he loves so
much, sailing.
Mom, that sounds so neat. You know that I
have
been dying to
sail on his type of boat. All that time I spent
learning how to sail during that class the
country
club offered last
summer, will help me a lot.
Mom, this is interesting but I do not think i
can
pull
this off. I don’t have enough experience.
Vicky,
you are
very pretty and have a great body, no man
will be
able
to resist you, but first we must buy you some
clothes
that will make you irresistible. The first thing
we
buy is
some very hot, bikinis, thongs and bras
.
Click on the link below to continue reading
http://naijanoisemakers.com.ng/2017/03/09/first-time-vicky-part-1/

Jokes Etc › My Encounter With A Jw (jehovah’s Witness) 18+ by Pascalblinks(op): 2:33pm On May 12, 2017

MY ENCOUNTER WITH A JW (Jehovah’s Witness) 18+ PART 1 .

It was a bright Saturday morning….I woke up around 6am after a long day at work the previous day, as usual, I brushed, picked up my booth and jersey, called Sesan from the other flat……….”Guy, its time for field”………………. We walked down to a secondary school pitch close to our house (That’s where guys play soccer every weekend)……..There were not too much people for set that day so we ended a bit early like around after 10. I went home straight with sesan and two other guys from the field but instead of the guys to go to their house straight, they decided to chill a bit at my place. We were so tired. Four of us decided to sit outside my house and started gisting about different things, from politics to girls and football but football takes the other of the day…Our discussion was not without some chilled spirit and sprite mixture couple with some fried meat which my girlfriend prepared for me for the weekend. Suddenly, the someone opened our main gate, for my mind “oooohhhh, this people have come again”…..Sesan quickly said “Guy, abeg I dey go shower abeg”…………All the other guys started grumbling too…..i had no option than to wait as they started approaching us and I couldn’t stand up again as it will be so embarrassing to them………..”Awon oloshe wo leleyi gan”…………It was two guys and a lady that walked into my compound….the two guys carried hand bag which comes from their shoulder down the side of their thigh…..One of them was on suit fully kitted while the other put on just pant trouser, shirt and tie to match it up. The lady put on a blue shirt and black skirt with a black big bag..no make up or anything. Ordinarily, this was not the first time am seeing them coming to preach for me but I was not just in the mood that day at all……… they approached us and it was all joke here and there…they preach a bit and we sometimes change it to politics with them and talk about life generally…..Jokes do come in at interval and the lady seems to be a bit friendly likewise the guys too……what we thought will be a boring moment was actually all fun except from the fact that we were drinking and offered them part of it which they declined. They even preached to us to stop drinking as it was not a good idea and is a sin to God…”Oga, leave that even Jesus turned water to wine”……………… Before we knew it, it was almost like an hour we have been discussing, they gave us one of their pamphlet to read through and digest as they make their way out of the compound..It was during this moment one of the guy said Guy 1: “Guy, una no see dat babe bottom… see as e dey roll they go, this is bad mehn” Guy 2: Una think say I dey listen to the preaching before? Na her endowed bweast I just dey look since oooo….the babe carry no be small Me:Na God go save una…..this one na JW ooooo…..dem no dey do that kind thing oooo Guy 1: Forget that one abeg, na dem dey do am pass Guy 2: Tolu na confirm SU oooooo……………… and u no hw many times I don collect pass for her body Me: which Tolu b that? Guy 2 : The same one wey you know now….wey dey stay Anthony street.. Guy 1: Na lieu Me:Guy, $get that one, no be the same tolu wey I know…..the babe dey too saint jare and no be like you she fit fall for Guy 2: Una dey doubt me? Me: Yes now…………..who go believe you….. He brought out his phone, scroll to the picture gallery..what we saw was alarming…different pics of tolu lying down on his bed, the one they snapped together and all sort of romantic bed mood pictures..we were totally convinced that he has actually done something with Tolu and it was a great surprise to us. (That’s life, never trust any babe…………ALL BABE HAVE THEIR PASSWORD, ONCE U ARE A GOOD HACKER, U CAN DEFINITELY HACK THEIR SYSTEM, GET THEIR PASSWORD FOR FREE ACCESS). . click on the link below to continue reading http://naijanoisemakers.com/2017/03/19/encounter-jw-jehovahs-witness-part-1/

Romance › My Encounter With A Jw (jehovah’s Witness) by Pascalblinks(op): 9:53am On May 12, 2017

Romance › S.e.d.u.c.t.i.o.n by Pascalblinks(op): 8:49pm On May 10, 2017

S.E.D.U.C.T.I.O.N PART 1 .
Linda cursed softly as she opened the freezer and found it empty.She was beginning to develope a bad habit as this was the third time in a row she had woken up at midnight to search for something to eat.Perhaps it was because she now worked more than usual.Her boss had added some extra working hours to hers and each time she saw him she felt like bashing him on his head. Frustrated after a futile search for food,she marched quietly to the bathroom as she didnt want to make much noise so as not to wake her husband Tom and his younger brother Jack who just got back from overseas.As she approached the bathroom,she noticed the lights on.This was definitely Tom’s doing she thought.He had a knack for late showers and forgeting to turn off the lights afterwards.Only this time it wasn’t Tom’s doing.Taking off her nightie just outside the bathroom leaving her with just she pant and her bra on,she swung opened the bathroom door carelessly and met face to face with her Unclad brother-in- law,Jack… ‘am…m…..am so sorry.Didn’t know you were here’ she stuttered after minutes of dumb- founded staring. ‘i thought you weren’t going to say anything’ he grinned devishly ‘i was beginning to enjoy your eyes on my body.I could feel the weight.’he winked. She blushed a little as she made to leave but stopped when she felt a hand on her shoulder.Her heart skipped when she turned faced him and saw him just inches away from her,dripping all over the place.oh God,what now? ‘could you please grab me……that towel over there?’ he pointed to the towel hanging over the rim just away from them. ‘why don’t you get it yourself?’she tried to be brave but wished she hadn’t. He moved ahead of her and in the process blocked the only escaped route.Now she was at his mercy and he wasn’t going to give it to her so easy. He towelled slowly and carefully and occassionally catch glimpse of her.He noticed he was stealing her breath as each moment passed and he wanted more and was going to but was stopped by a voice from upstairs…. ‘honey,where are you’ Tom called as he walked down the stairs. Alarmed,Linda pushed Jack out of the way and rushed to the kitchen.Part of her was thankful that Tom had woken up to save her but part of her wasn’t. She hated to admit it even to herself but she had like staring at the Unclad Jack. She was surprised at the effect it had on her. She had been married to Tom for three years now and had never had even as little as a lustful thought except of course with Tom. But now she battled to keep her thoughts clean as she fought hard to jettison flashes of an indecent Jack until Tom saved her yet again. Her hero. ‘honey,i have been looking for you all over the place’ He said mildly as he wrapped his hands around her from behind and gave her a peck on her cheek. ‘hungry again?’ he smiled. ‘yeah’ she said relaxed ‘i think my stomach must have expanded or something over the past few days’ Tom laughed out then he turned her faced him,placing his hands on her stomach,he said ‘i think you have the sexiest stomach’ and he rubbed on. As he began to get a little amorous,flashes of Jack in the shower rushed back at Linda again,only this time it came freely. She knew why and she knew she had to stop it to avoid calling him his brother’s name while intimate. ‘you said you were looking for me all over the place,why? She asked,managing to pull away from him. ‘oh,i couldn’t find Jack in his room,i wondered if he was down here with you’ ’em…. Tom…em.. Jack is in……’ ‘hello brother’ Jack called as he approached them. He had managed to get dressed to the relief of Linda. ‘heard you were looking for moi’ ‘i was. I see you still have a thing for midnight showers’ he said and turning face his wife. ‘i told you,it’s his bad habit’ ‘i wouldn’t call it a bad habit now brother. I have got to stay fresh for the ladies,you know’ he said, as he winked stylishly at Linda while Tom couldn’t help but laugh. ‘speaking about the ladies’ he emphasised on the phrase,the ladies. ‘which of them are you seeing this days?’ Tom asked ‘Them?’ Linda jaw dropped opened as she look dectectively at Jack. ‘yeah,them. Jack was a real cassanova back in the days. He dated in packs’ Tom teased. ‘aha,not fair Tom,i was actually trying to live up to my mentor;you. He turned towards Linda. ‘did you know that i actually met my first girl friend through jack?’ Linda’s eye popped at the revelation. She had known that her husband was quite popular among the female folks,thanks to his physique but she hadn’t heard about his player side. ‘Gameon jack. Since we are revealing secrets,i might as well hit back. Linda have i told you that back then in the university,Jack had impregnated two best friends?’ ‘what!’
. click on the link below to continue reading
http://naijanoisemakers.com/2017/03/22/s-e-d-u-c-t-o-n-part-1/

Jokes Etc › My Aunty Anna Rose by Pascalblinks(op): 11:24am On May 10, 2017

MY AUNTY ANNA ROSE PART 1 . I am nineteen. And yet to fu-Ck a girl. Yea, you can begin screaming ‘WTF!’ all you want. Well, that wouldn’t change a thing. Or would it? Let’s get back to the real story now again, shall we? Fine. So…I started seeing porn at the age of thirteen. I was in High school then and always asked my friends for their dirty magazines. I loved women (…and still do of course. Wonder how I shouldn’t when I ain’t g@y) and was always attracted to more matured ones (MILFs mostly). Even though I craved to fu-Ck one day, I always never had the courage to approach any girl who was within my age bracket to ask her out. This meant I would continue with endless fantasies (…like Genevieve Nnaji giving me a boob job. How silly though!), porn and masturbation. By nineteen, I had developed what was becoming one of the largest d!cks for someone my age. My friends had always talked about how large it was and even never minded telling their girl friends. I was never bothered too as I only found it pleasing and largely a source of man pride. They claimed the pecker had only gotten that big because I started fu-Cking girls from a very tender age. I knew better but I never told them how wrong they were (they were duns after all). Whenever we talked about sex, my experiences with porn always looked to substitute for me and over time, most of them began asking me for a couple tips on how they could please their girls. It was quite hilarious! (…and you can see why I called them d*ns. Haha) The closest I had gotten to having sex was with a visiting sister to a neighbor. As a result of my area of training I somehow became of help to the neighbor in question. He always gave me little tasks to carry out on his behalf of which he pays me for. I had just gotten into my third year in the university and I had a fair idea of what he always gave me to do. It was on one of such assignments that I got to meet Mary (now, not the mother of that guy who died on the cross. This one is quite not as innocent). She was far older than myself. At least she was fifteen or seventeen years ahead, and married. I had gone to my neighbor’s place to carry out one of the usual tasks who leaves me with only to meet her at home. After introducing myself, she allowed me in and soon we became friends and got talking. Our conversation was so vast that we soon began talking about the consequences of having lots of weight as human. It propped up an argument as to which, men preferred most. The fat or the slim. I said it was the later of which she did not totally agree to and I knew why. She was a bit plump but was nonetheless married although without kids. She tried presenting all her argue-facts and in the attempt asked me if I knew what it was like having a woman with lots of flesh in bed. I answered like I had tried both of the two sides before but that could not convince her. Subsequently, she raised her flowing skirt almost entirely up to her waist, revealing her fleshy thighs. While she did so, she held onto one of the thighs and asked me if I knew what that succulent thigh meant to most men. She tried emphasizing it by grabbing onto the flesh there and bringing herself closer to where I sat. All along I was smiling but not aroused in anyway. And I still assume she was equally not aroused in any way what so ever. However, after she got as close as she could manage, she urged me to feel the flesh. Her skirt was still held to her hip by one hand while the other grabbed the underneath of the thigh in question. We both were still joking and arguing about it at the same time. I still had intentions of continuing with the task for which I visited and all I planned to do was settle the argument and return to the work. When she repeated the request, I laughed and told her she had too much flesh and how I didn’t fancy it. To this, she further asked me to feel her thighs and that I never knew anything about plump women. I responded by placing a hand on it, telling her it made no difference on what I felt and removed my hand. She rejected my attempt and insisted I would do so again. She even said I would have to try to grab the thigh with both hands. I laughed and said it was not necessary. She made a face and said she never liked what I was doing. In response, I succumbed and made to grab her laps as suggested. However, mistakenly, as I did so, I unintentionally dipped my right fingers through the cut of her p@nties thereby finding her crotch (and how I liked the miracle!). She was partly damp there which I felt was from sweat. But equally full of curly hair. My other hand had held onto the other side of her laps and was already making a move to lift the enormous thing. But with the right one right inside her p@nties, everything paused. She did not utter a word and even when I said I was sorry and tried taking my hand away, she shut up her thighs and caught my hands in between both legs. I remained stuck. She pulled me towards her and that brought my hands straight to her wet p**sy opening. I only made little additional effort and two finger found their way into her yearning p**sy! Unfortunately for her, we were only about to get anything going when we suddenly heard a knock on the door. This was followed by her sister’s return. We had been alone all along. My subsequent attempt to get this completed was completely futile as I was told she left the next day. Poor Danny! Really poor, Danny!! Now I only use that for my fantasies. I always imagine myself completing the process. Locating her p**sy with the same fingers, fingering them and getting to pull off her p@nties. This would be followed by either my sU-Cking of her p**sy; which I see as my most coveted desires; or giving her an instant fu-Ck. Nonetheless, all this will keep being fantasies and nothing more. Well, that was about my closest attempt and as you can see, if failed woefully. Now can we talk about more important issues of life? Good. I am the only son. And in a family of two issues, it simply means I have just one sister. Your daft head can’t just be telling you otherwise! Cannot remember the last time anyone had a transsexual for a sibling. At least not in Nigeria. That aside anyway. So…as I said, the other of my sibling is a girl. A very pretty girl to say the least. Unfortunately for everyone, this pretty girl hardly stays home. She just graduated from the university and got enlisted with a Runway outfit (for those of you who have looked up these last two words endlessly without having a clue of what it means; simply think of a super slim girl, on a super slim outfit, cat walking down a ‘super slim’ alley. That should do). She has always wanted to be a model and how I was sure she fits in. She has a body to die for. As for me, I will be getting out of school as a fresh graduate by the end of the current calendar year. I am studying Physics in school. The same course dad studied. Well…I am still some way from being what he has become in this field. In fact, he is currently a visiting professor at Nottingham Trent University in the united Kingdom and has been made a member of many professional bodies. This was good for the family but I seriously miss his parenting although am aint complaining. I had not chosen the course because of him or his success like it is the case with most Nigerian teenagers (Dad sells used bottles, so I wana be a bottle dealer. Pheew!!). I love physics and had long developed a big interest in it. Now I will soon be getting out of school with a degree in it. And trust me, I have never sorted. At least not yet. Now over to Mum. She is just great. I haven’t said yours aint equally great. But I’m like; mine is just great!! She is currently the caretaker dad if you get what mean. She works with a Finance Solutions company. Studied Banking in a school in the U.S back in the days and has maintained almost a single job line for over two decades now. Her coming from a wealthy family meant that she would virtually achieve all she ever aspired for except for having another male kid. That, she could not get. Too bad. But I know I do serve up in the absence of two. Like I said, I aint asking for the assist of a transsexual yet. She has been a wonderful mother and hardly complains about my dad’s reoccurring absence. Most times, when it appeared like she was going to feel his absence, she would look for her female friends to spend time with. I pitied her at such times. I was not getting enough p**sy; yea, true. But everyone knows for sure that the case of someone who has gotten so used to fu-Cking every day really looks largely different. Now do not ask me how I knew they always had it every day when he was in. Wonder how many times you would rather have it if you were dad or mum. Spend the next half-hour finding an answer. Mum has a sister. Annarose by name. And just like yourself, I have spent most part of my miserable life thinking of what meaning the name possibly had. yet, just like yourself too, I haven’t figured out. I have never come to understand what reasons grandpa and grandma had for giving her such a name. Those were meant to be two different name. Type the names on MS word and you would know how different. Unfortunately for me, she still bears the name and she is by far, my most favourite aunt from both dad and mum’s sides. She is just sassy! A closest definition of a bag of fun even though she is currently in her early thirties. She has never lost that impertinence we have known her for and each time she visited, I never got tired of her. She only just recently got married to Uncle Dee Dee; another character of a guy and they stay in Abuja. This has meant that I only get to meet her fewer times a year. However, Dee Dee currently completed a business trip to France which meant Annarose came close to suffering mum’s kinda predicament. What gladdened my heart though, was that, she made up her mind to stay with us until her husband made it back. Each time I remember this, I get so electrified! It is a pity I have been telling you this story without saying what day it is. Well, I am kinda sorry about that. Today is a Monday here. Do not know what date it is as you read this story but, just try to think today is a Monday. And yea, I also have not said who I am. Well, I said a little about myself back there but, let me kinda say more. I am Daniel by name. I don’t think my surname is that important. I don’t think. So I am Daniel. You should call me Danny though. Just a way of being benevolent and saving you the trauma of stressfully calling out the real thing continuously. Guess you usually end up very aggravated whenever you opt for the later. (Smiles). Well, I have just made up so feel better. That said. So…I am an undergraduate of Physics from the University of Nigeria. I am Ibo although my mum is an Efik. I am tall. Just a little shy of six feet. Handsome. Good- looking. Although I don’t know how these two are different. Rather athletic. Cannot remember the last time I jogged around my dad’s parking lot though, so I assume the fitness is more like hereditary than developed. I am light skinned but not fully fair. So kinda in a fix on that one. I don’t have a girl. Now, don’t ask me why. Just flow with the story. After all, that is why you are reading it. You can make the first move, if you are a girl though. That aside. Thank you. I assume that says it all for me. Or, am I forgetting something? Oh! Okay, Just remembered; my favourite colour is torques blue. How absurd anyway. But that’s that. I also prefer girls that are older than myself. Most especially when they are in their late twenties or thirties. Well, if you just stopped loving me because of this last one, you can move one. Have never complained about being disliked. No hard feelings.
. click on the link below to continue reading http://naijanoisemakers.com/2017/03/08/aunty-anna-rose-part-1/

Romance › Funke My S£xy Secretary by Pascalblinks(op): 8:27pm On May 09, 2017*

FUNKE MY S£XY SECRETARY PART 1
.

My name is john, I was fortunate to be
employed in a big company after my nysc
where I happen to be the general manager
of the company.
I was given a personal secretary, my
secretary happens to be a spiritual and
decent woman, she recently got married
and later resigned. The hunt for a new
secretary began, several ladies wrote
application letter.
30 ladies made entries for the post,a lady
called funke was lucky to be employed.
This was how my s-x journey in the
company started.
Funke resumed work on Monday wearing
a tight short skirt with a round neck top
which revealed her sexy figure. When she
came into my office to submit a file I got
lust in f—–g her so I made up my mind
that my p—k must to taste her tonto.
To cut the long story short I was given an
appointment with a foreign company agent
in Abuja and I was to be accompanied with
a lady so I nominated funke.
We lodged at an hotel whereby only one
room was available so we decided to sleep
together , on hearing this my p—k dn dy
give me sign say today na today , I had to
control it from revealing my aim.
When we got inside I went to shower and
change because it was already late. After I
had shower and changed funke also
headed to the bathroom this was how I
started to plan how to execute my devilish
plans . So as she headed to the bathroom I
changed into a short and acting as if I was
sleeping, when she came inside and saw
me on the bed thinking I was fast asleep
she dropped the towel wrapped her around
her sexy body revealing her full bossoms it
was from there I started suspecting she’s
a nursing mother but my other brain
between my two legs was busy telling me
not to bother about that . When she
backed me I stood up gently and grabbed
her boobs from the back and squeezing
them gently and to my greatest surprise
she did not resist it, all she did was stretch
her hand and dip it into my shorts to
reveal my full grown devil and she was
shocked at the size of it
Funke: Oga na only u get this black
mamba
Me: Na so we see am
She just smiled and went back on her
kneels sucking my devil and it’s ball like
there’s no tomorrow which I was really
enjoying so in order not to c-m soon I
stylishly stopped her from sucking and
lifted her and droped her on the bed and
brought my devil to the entrance of her p—
y it was dripping so much like a water fall
immediately I inserted my devil into her p—
y, she screamed out loud saying oga this
tin too big o take am easy….
.
click on the link below to continue reading
http://naijanoisemakers.com.ng/2017/04/01/funke-sxy-secretary-part-1/

Romance › Life With Spoilt Neighbours by Pascalblinks(op): 8:29pm On May 08, 2017*

LIFE WITH SPOILT NEIGHBOURS PART 1
.

I and my mom lived alone initially before my
sisters joined us later on….
Before then, my mom and i lived in a
compound occupying two buildings, a main
house, and a back flat. The back flat
occupied two families, mine and another
neighbour which comprised of a man and his
wife with three kids. While the main flat had
in shelter a woman and five of her kids. –
three girls, and two boys.! They were all
grown up. The last child( a boy) was prolly
17 back then, and the eldest girl (eldest child)
was in her early or mid 30s.
In total, we were three families living in that
compound.
……… Am gonno tell you about each of the
children in the compound and how they all
contributed in corrupting me..
THE FAMILY IN THE MAIN HOUSE.
Praise- the oldest child, she was really
religious, taught me the all i knew about God
back then.
Prompted me to go to church and basically,
taught me how to pray.
She was really kind, and generous.
She was’ntt married then, though she was
goodlooking and in her 30s.
****************
Emillia- the second girl, was in her mid or late
20s..
She was really pretty, well packaged and
kinda plumpy with perfectly toned skin, nice
curves and stature.
****************
Stephan- the third child, a man in his 20s , a
worker, really cool nice guy!
He was somewhat responsible, though he flirt
with most girls.
****************
Omolayo- a young stylish girl, also pretty,
and quite fat. Had a cool feminine voice.
She later traveled outta the countr though.
****************
Felix- the last child of his mom, he was prolly
in his late teens. 16-19 back then. He was fair
and tall.
Eno! Eno! Eno!.. My friend Noso called me
from far as i was about entering the school
gate. He ran towards me ” whats up now, i
thought you won’t be in school today since
its the first day of resumption” i replied as we
both placed hands on our shoulders. ” my
mom forced me to come o”
Noso was my best friend and we did almost
everything together, both good and bad!
As we approached our new class since we
were just promoted to primary four, we met
our class teacher who we greeted smiling
broadly. ” how are you doing boys?” he
replied our greetings.
We took a sit that we claimed as ours for the
term.
” who’s that girl that just came in?” Noso
asked. ” am sure she’s a new student, i
hav’nt seen her before.’
”she fine sha”
Noso uttered
‘you better shut up before uncle hears you,
its too early to start those rubbish” i replied.
”by the way, i saw Esther, she said she’s
gonno come to school because of you o, she
said she misses your face ” Noso said.
” she better not miss me ooh.. We almost got
caught by Amaka (a sir pupil) the other day
while…
” While i placed my hands on her thighs.
What would have happened if that senior
caught me doing that? ”
” but you hav’nt really told me how it
happened o” -Noso replied.
Me; I’ll tell you later, Nosa and Emma are
coming” (my classmate).
*we all greeted and joked before before we
heard the bell*
##The school i attended had on primary
school and its secondary school was in
another area entirely (not in the same
compound)##
The bell rang for assembly and we all rushed
out. Praise and worship was led by a
teacher. Thereafter, the principal came and
welcomed all of us. He gave his speech on
‘rules and regulations’ and urged us to be in
our best behaviours.
+after the speech, we all marched to our
classes.
We were only 11 in primary 4 .
Six boys and five girls.
* our form teacher came and introduced
himself, and requested we also do the same.
Eventually the new girl Noso and I saw was
in our class, she
was fair, neatly dressed and goodloking.
She stood up and introduced her self as
Tasha.
Noso started calling her name silently to
himself (like he was tryna memorize it.)
our form teacher- Mr Ojo stressed that we’ll
need a class rep, and opted that anyone who
wanted to be the class captain should come
out.
No one did, apart from Emma.
He then asked if we wanted Emma to be the
class rep, we all replied ”NO!”
Emma was a bully! A dreaded one!
I can still remember him telling us he’ll deal
with us after class for refusing to crown him
captain!
Mr Ojo then asked the class to nominate
anyone,
Noso and some others shouted ”Leke!!!’
Leke was my ”nick name”
i was reluctant to come out cus i was never
interested in the position, but Mr Ojo
demanded my presence at the front of the
class to contend for the position.
I came out, and the girls in the class also
nominated Esther.
Esther was very brilliant, i wonder how i was
able to still come out ahead of her during
exams.
She could pronounce words i did’ntt know
without obstruction.
Mr Ojo requested that I and Esther backed
the class as they voted.
After the short election, we faced the class,
and i saw my friends giving me ‘thumbs up”
as Mr Ojo announced me as the new class
rep!
I wasn’t happy, i was scared!
In my mind ”weitin these people don put me
so?”
instead of me celebrating i was thinking
about what Emma would do to me after
class.
Time went fast as I hurried home as soon as
i heard the bell. I did’ntt even wait for Noso, i
was on my way out of the gate when i heard
someone called me – ‘lekins! Lekins! ”
i thought for a second, ‘could that be Noso,
but that is’nt his voice at all”
the voice called me again, and i did’ntt bother
to look back cus i remembered the voice.
I tried moving faster .
”you better wait there or else if i chase you,
you’re going to cry”
it was the bully Emma calling after me, in fear
i waited but summoned courage to confront
him.
He approached me and………
.
click on the link below to continue reading
http://naijanoisemakers.com.ng/2017/02/28/life-spoilt-neighbours-part-1/

Romance › Sweet Uncle Tosin by Pascalblinks(op): 11:21am On May 06, 2017

SWEET UNCLE TOSIN PART 1 .
“If only I knew I wouldn’t have broken up with him just yet” Those were the words re-echoing in my head along side with the throbbing in between my legs. It had only been a week since Buchi almost Forked tears out of my eyes, I still could remember how his hand roughly pulled my head towards his Joystick forcing me to take more of it into my drooling mouth , and how he rewarded me back with a mind blowing orgasm, pounding me from behind. Now I had to walk around with a pool in between my legs. I was writing my last paper which meant holiday. Everything felt wrong inside the Examination hall, the way the examiners watched us like an hawk does to his prey, the excruciating painful sound the pen of the young man sitting behind me made when he chewed on it, at a point I thought he might have chewed up the entire pen. I knew what pained me most , I wanted a Joystick and I wanted it bad. While in the exam hall, my Kittycat was not helping out issues, my juice were soaking my Kittycat alongside my thighs, My Tips were hard against my bra which made me very uncomfortable, i could feel my juice creating a wet patch on my skirt. I normally don’t wear underwear ( don’t ask why) ,The only thing that made sense at that point was to deepen my fingers in my burning Kittycat. I sluggishly got up , and managed to hand over my answer booklet to the examiners , I stepped out of the hall, I noticing the slight changes in my walking posture, my thighs were too lubricated. “See as you be like who them use wood beat ” I noticed my best friend Natasha walking towards me , I turned, smiled, and muttered a weak smile, she was gonna engage me in her never ending conversations , and I wasn’t interested in anything except a Joystick . ” I want to go home to take care of a few things ” was all I said before she left slightly angry , I wasn’t entirely lying . I couldn’t help but notice her fat round Buttocks, that same Buttocks that made me question the reason i wasn’t a man to be able to Fork her good. She had those Bosom that made you wonder how those could develop in the chest of a nineteen year old. I got home in an hour due to traffic, a journey that should have lasted thirty minutes, I took the keys out of my hand bag ,immediately I got in , I threw my bag to an unknown destination got into my room, and locked to door without a reason. I raised my skirts upwards effortlessly slipped two fingers into my already drenched Kittycat, i let out a groan and set to work . Floods of juice ran out of my Kittycat , I bit on my lower lips as I got lost in pleasure . I didn’t pay much attention to the noise of my refrigerator turning on indicating that the Power had come on. The music I left playing before leaving continued and I was glad that I didn’t have to work hard on suppressing my groans, I was already sounding like an animal in pains. . click on the link below to continue reading
http://naijanoisemakers.com/2017/03/18/sweet-uncle-tosin-part-1/

Jokes Etc › Sweet Uncle Tosin by Pascalblinks(op): 10:46am On May 06, 2017

1 Like

Jokes Etc › The Male Secretary (18+) by Pascalblinks(op): 12:59pm On May 05, 2017

THE MALE SECRETARY (18+) PART 1 . I dey always watch say na ladies dey always dey be secretary for big big organization but e no come my mind say one day e go fit become my turn. My people, wen human n aim be the comptroller general, una dey expect am to employ im fellow woman…. NOOOO…, Funny tin I just land for Abuja after using my leg take run fiam comot from Kano because of the daily bomb blast and gun shots wey I dey hear and witness. Like play play, me wey been get job come land for the league of extra-ordinary jobless men…. No offense!!! All this na due to the ill preparation o. As man pikin find im way enter Abuja, press button here and there, the next tin, dem say job dey, whether I do fit do am. As per sharp guy, I reason say “man no die, man no rotty” make I just land the job. After interview, na me come get the job… Na during job description n aim I come know wetin I don land myself put. Before I continue, make I describe where I dey work. Na one five star hotel for the heart of Abuja o… D hotel pour brain as different people dey troop in… Trust me na, with my malo mentality, unto say I don dey north all my life, I hide the bad me for cupboard dey form gentle. As e dey be for hotels na, enough female staff dey full there wey dey run different shift, na so I carry eye dey look them small dey act like say if woman body touch me na melt be dat. As una cari know, person wey dey shy, na im women dey draw come body pass because dem feel say im no go sabi bad tin. Na the situation wey I find myself…… . click on the link below to continue reading http://naijanoisemakers.com/2017/03/22/male-secretary-18-part-1/

Romance › The Male Secretary (18+) by Pascalblinks(op): 12:38pm On May 05, 2017

THE MALE SECRETARY (18+) PART 1 .
I dey always watch say na ladies dey always dey be secretary for big big organization but e no come my mind say one day e go fit become my turn. My people, wen human n aim be the comptroller general, una dey expect am to employ im fellow woman…. NOOOO…, Funny tin I just land for Abuja after using my leg take run fiam comot from Kano because of the daily bomb blast and gun shots wey I dey hear and witness. Like play play, me wey been get job come land for the league of extra-ordinary jobless men…. No offense!!! All this na due to the ill preparation o. As man pikin find im way enter Abuja, press button here and there, the next tin, dem say job dey, whether I do fit do am. As per sharp guy, I reason say “man no die, man no rotty” make I just land the job. After interview, na me come get the job… Na during job description n aim I come know wetin I don land myself put. Before I continue, make I describe where I dey work. Na one five star hotel for the heart of Abuja o… D hotel pour brain as different people dey troop in… Trust me na, with my malo mentality, unto say I don dey north all my life, I hide the bad me for cupboard dey form gentle. As e dey be for hotels na, enough female staff dey full there wey dey run different shift, na so I carry eye dey look them small dey act like say if woman body touch me na melt be dat. As una cari know, person wey dey shy, na im women dey draw come body pass because dem feel say im no go sabi bad tin. Na the situation wey I find myself…… . click on the link below to continue reading http://naijanoisemakers.com/2017/03/22/male-secretary-18-part-1/

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Jokes Etc › S£x As She Taught Me by Pascalblinks(op): 8:51pm On May 04, 2017

S£X AS SHE TAUGHT ME PART 1 .
I was naive as a kid,just a shy nerdy kid. s*x was foreign to me and i neva really found out about it till i was almost 19. Whenever my friends talked about their s*x escapades as teens, i would listen with keen interest,basking in the euphoria of the tale. It was as if i was living vicariously through their steamy stories. I rememba John’s stories d most,he was confident and had many older brothers. We looked up to him,although we were mates. Talking to girls was easy for him,and he had them around him always. I can recall vividly how he told us about having s*x in the school toilet with a girl named Clara. I felt hurt and intrigued at the same time because she was my ultimate crush,and we were just 14. I could not grasp it,how she could do something like that . Whenever i saw her walk by,the concocted image of John and her,writhing in S#xual ecstasy,would form in my head,and i would immediately avert my eyes,so as not to give away my emotions. Nevertheless i still enjoyed the stories,they were the highlights of my s*x life as a teen. I went thru secondary school without even kissing a girl. My fantasies were filled with them,hmmmm,girls,i knew when given the chance,i would take it with both hands. And that opportunity came,yes it came,with a bang,and i am forever glad that i was untainted,ready and willing. I met Stephanie when i was in 200level in the university. The second semester had just begun,i was at the bank to pay my school fees,as was alot of the oda students. I saw her standing near the queue, about 5 pple stood btw us. She wasnt beautiful,at least not in the sense that you and i understand. She was tall,dark and glamourous. Her slight hips protuded behind her,complementing her succulent firm bosoms. She had this dreamy look abt her,confident but s*xy**,independent but whimsical. Her inviting lips were doused with a touch of glossy wet lips. Kiss me till u die was literarilly written all over her. God!,i was lost, i stood there looking at her,gaping,wishing. I still rememba every single detail about that day. The sun was shining brightly,but it wasnt hot,a gentle breeze was caressing my face. Her dark skin glowed in the sun. I glanced around and noticed alot of guys eyes were fixed on her . I heard a guy talking behind me,he was telling his friend, “oboy u dey see that bird so ?! “,” i must cage am!”. My heart was beating fast,i stood no chance,there were better guys here,that would get this girl.That moment I wished she would say something,i wanted to hear her voice,so i’l carry it to my dreams,were i’d cherish it for eternity. I got tired of standing,so i sat on the lush,well trimmed grass,near the bank building. Heaven smiled down on me. About 10 minutes later she came n sat near me,i guess she was fed up standing too. I almost screamed with joy,it took alot of self restrain for me not to have shouted. She said sumtin,i didnt hear at first,ofcourse i was still in disbelief,how cud i hv been so lucky ?. “Are u here to pay ur fees ?”,she askd again,this time i promptly replied affirmatively. “This system is so stressful,i cant believe we’ve been here over 2 hours”,”i feel so tired n worn out”. I wanted to tell her she still looked gorgeous, and that would hv sounded corny. To this day,i cant still understand why she spoke to me. All i could say was sorry,it’l soon be over. She just looked at me,blinked her eyes and sighed. She stood up,turned to me n said tanx. I was confused . My eyes trailed her as she walked away,a fading dream,now i was back to reality. I finished my bank stuffs n headed out d banking hall,i had almost forgotten abt her,when i saw her again.This must be fate. This time i walked over to her,in my heart i prayed she still remembered me. “hi”, “hey you” she replied. “Guess your done ?” i answered yea. We chit chatted a bit,she said she would come bk d next day to finish up,as she had something to do now. I offered to come keep her company the nxt day,to my surprise she agreed . She asked for my phone,punched in her numbers and left. It felt so surreal,i couldnt believe it,even when i got bk home and told my friends,they too didnt believe it. Obviously she was older than me,i guessed maybe abt 5 or 6 years. I was almost 19 and she looked mid mid 20s. I waited till the next day to call her,if she gave me a wrong number,i wouldnt sweat it,i was contented already,and never thought things could progress this far. At the second ring she picked up,time paused,i was silent,i tried to talk,no words came out,it was her voice,it was unmistakeable. It was soft and serene,music to my ears. I hung up,trying hard to catch my breath. She called back immediately,i picked and mumbled something inaudible. She knew it was me. “Are you still coming?”, ” ofcourse” i retorted. “ok see u in a bit”. She dropped the call. . click on the link below to continue reading
http://naijanoisemakers.com/2016/12/12/sx-taught-part-1/

Romance › Adebimpe The Facebook Girl (21+) by Pascalblinks(op): 9:07am On Mar 19, 2017*

ADEBIMPE THE FACEBOOK GIRL PART 1
(S*x, Hatred, Revenge, Love, Betrayed)
(Completed)
.

Early february. I met adebimpe on
facebook as
a mutual friend to
one of my friends. One thing led to
another, we
started chatting
on BBM and early march, we started E-
dating.
3weeks ago, we
discussed on how we will see facially and
she
suggested to
travel down to meet me in akure if only I
can
send T.fare.
Adebimpe is a student of uniport so she
fully
based in PHC.
I was so happy that I started day dreaming
how the visitation will
look like, the romance, fun, love-making
etc. .
On the 14th of
april, I sent 10k into her account as Tfare.
She
called me to tell
me she got the money. And the travelling
preparation
began.
The D-day came. I have cleaned up my
room,
bought foodstuffs,
bought a new pack of CD., wen she
dropped at
akure garage, I
told her to pick a bike to my house
address
which she did, she
got to my house at around 5pm. I ushered
her
in, gave her soft
drinks and we were chating. Wen it was
6pm,
she shocked me by
telling me she has a cousin here in akure
and
that’s where she
will be staying throughout her 3days of
stay
and dat I shd visit
her at her cousin’s place the following day.
I
was so sad but I
didn’t show it, I faked a smile and walk her
off
to take bike.
I come dey reason am say “se na like dis
my
10k go waste?”.
The next day, I didn’t go to visit her and I
lied
that I was sick with
the mindset that she will come to my place
instead. But na lie,
all she could do was to call me and ask
after
my health.
That nite, I couldn’t sleep. I was just
wondering how silly I am. I
just put my fone in silence and forcefully
slept
off.
As I woke up around 6am in the morning, I
picked my fone and I
saw a text from adebimpe. Which says
“baby
u knw I will be
leaving today, wat time should I come to
visit
u so as to get my
return Tfare”. Chaiii, na so my head spark
.
click on the link below to continue reading

http://naijanoisemaker.com.ng/2017/02/02/adebimpe-facebook-girl-part-1/

Jokes Etc › Adebimpe The Facebook Girl (21+) by Pascalblinks(op): 9:01am On Mar 19, 2017*

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