₦airaland Forum

Karleb:
I don't really blame them. Many of them marry very early and they do that directly from their father's house. The entitlement is still there.

What stops her from saving a portion of her salary.

Reminds me of this my colleague getting married this June. I'm very sure the girl is less than 24.

How do I save a portion when he collects all the money and will make trouble if I attempt to touch it or ask him to give me part of it. He will start threatening me.

InTheCloudySky:
As long as he's not forcefully demanding your salary from you [equivalent to financial abuse] but you're giving it to him voluntarily, then start setting aside what you'll need to take care of yourself before giving him the rest. One year is too long for you to have neglected yourself.

I hope he's not one of those men who believe a woman shouldn't have money on their hands. It's a form of control and is dangerous. Besides taking care of yourself, you need to start saving, so work more hours if you can.

He is forcefully asking for it. He has my ATM and I cannot take part of the money else it will become an issue.

The people saying I should take what I need before contributing don't understand the situation. If I touch the money it will be an issue.

Good day nairalanders. Pls I would like you guys to give me your opinions concerning this matter.

My husband always buys things for me without hesitating even when I don't ask for it. When he gets paid, I know where every penny goes to and like wise I contribute my entire salary. 90% of the time, he is the one that buys foodstuff for the house. I hardly go the market so I don't even have change from anywhere.

He doesn't give me money for upkeep or any cash. I work but it's like I'm not working because I have nothing to show for it. I have not made my hair for well over a year. I have been telling him to give me money for upkeep but he doesn't want to burge.

Before he used to give me money but along the line he lost his job and things became difficult. For 3 years, we were borrowing to pay rent and feed. Now, even though he has a job, we are still paying debt here and there. I understand that we are paying debts but don't I deserve a little cash in my hand?

Now to the main issue. In July last year, my phone (Redmi 9) was stolen in a keke. My husband bought the phone for me and the phone was just 1month old before it was stolen. My husband has two phones. A small torchlight phone and an Infinix phone. He uses the small one for official purposes while the other one is his personal phone. I begged him to put his office sim in the big phone so he can give me the small one since he only has one sim in the big one but he refused. I used my phone for some online hustles which I bring my earnings to the table as well. I have told him that he doesn't need to buy me a big phone. Just give me what ever you can afford and I will look for a phone of that amount but no he won't. I have talked to him severally on these issues but he doesn't want to do anything about it. We even quarrelled over this phone issue twice. Since that July till now I'm without a phone. It's his phone I'm using to post this. He promised me in December that he will buy a phone for me in March. March ended and he was paid but he started telling me another story. Rather than buy me a phone, he joined a contribution where they are contributing 50k each. He is already in one contribution where they contribute 20k. You earn less than 120k and you are doing a contribution of 70k. With these contributions I know before I will get the phone it will take like another 3 months. Have I not been patient enough? I know it's a means of saving but how do you want to manage the rest for a family of 4. His hope is to add my 25k salary to it.

Pls nairalanders, will it be irrational of me to stop contributing my salary or giving him a part of it?