₦airaland Forum

joudini: Did you use a thought-to-text app to write your post?

What is that?

joudini: Like how old are you?

We are both 24

I have known my boyfriend for four years now. We became friends in March of 2008. Since the beginning he has always wanted to be my boyfriend, he has always said that I am the one that he wants to marry. I never gave him a chance, I only saw him as a friend. Still he never went away. Even when he saw that I was dating other men, he would still beg me to give him a chance. Still I would say no, and when those other men broke my heart. He would be there for me. He would listen to me when I cried. He would fight with those other men for breaking my heart. Finally, during January of 2011, I fell for him. I finally saw him as more than a friend. I realized and appreciated all that he has done for me to protect me, and to be there for me. Since then has become my boyfriend. For a while everything was going smooth, and then slowly things started changing.

He used to take me out to very nice places, he used to give me money when he knows I was on the university campus with very little money. He used to always listen to me, he loved to listen to me when I talked. But now. Things are changing. He has started smoking marijuana almost 2 even 3 times a day. When he has not smoked, he is very hard to deal with. His mood is very angry. He becomes angry with me and can yell at me for anything. He now has stopped paying for things, and expects me to pay for things. Even sometimes he can just be talking to me anyhow, even in front of strangers. He has been failing his classes, but now he seems to be trying to get better grades, but even so, he is not putting forth full effort. He does not value education.

For his birthday I bought him blackberry, for my birthday he gave me a handwritten letter. For Christmas I bought him I-Pod, in return he said he forgot to buy me a present. On valentines day, he bought me nothing because he said that he thought I would not care. I feel I deserve better than this.

Many times I have tried to leave him, but still he finds a way to get me to stay. He usually will change for about a week, then he will go back to maltreating me. My parents have met him and they believe that he is a wonderful boy. God sent even. My parents went to a babalawo, and even the babalawo said that my boyfriend is God sent. That I should cherish him, and not be so proud. The babalawo said that he can sense that I want to pull away from my boyfriend, but that I should just stick with him, because he is the only one that truly loves me and that no other man will love me like he does.

Despite all of his recent bad behavior, one thing that I can say for certain is that he has never cheated on me. He has stayed loyal and faithful to me since the first day he became my boyfriend. This is one thing that I am certain of. I am always the only woman in his focus, he loves nobody else and he has no desire to love anybody else but me. Even when I got into an argument with his sister, he immediately took my side and bannished her. His loyalty to me is something very extreme. Something like I have never before experienced. This is why it is so hard for me to leave him, because I fear that if I leave him that I may end up with a man who cheats on me and has many other women. I don't know if I will ever find such a loyal man. His good friend of 4 years spoke ill of me, and immediately my boyfriend bannished him and told him never to speak to him again. If anyone disrespects me, he will bannish them immediately! I have never seen any boyfriend to do that for me except for him.

Please. Someone advise me on what to do. Because I am not happy, and this is getting too much for me to endure. I am a good girl, I face my studies, and I don't sneak around. I lost my virginity to my boyfriend, and he is the only man that I have been with sexually. I don't think I deserve some of the bad treatment that he is giving me. My parents do not know of my boyfriend's bad behaviors, and I am afraid to tell them, for I fear that they might bannish him. But at the same time, I am not happy, but I feel I am forced to stay with him. Everyday they sit me down and tell me to humble myself to him and that he is the one for me, when they don't even know all of what I am going through. They only know what the babalawo is telling them. Please someone advise me. I am not happy. Why is it that the babalawo is not seeing all of the bad things in him? I am afraid to leave this relationship now, because now I am afraid that he is right, and that there may be nobody else that can love me like my boyfriend. But if he is maltreating me and I am not happy, then what is the point? I am even fearing the day that he asks me to marry him, as I feel that it is fast approaching, and I will be trapped. Please. Somebody help me.