₦airaland Forum

@ bk.babe he is from the Yuroba tribe. I am not familar with the various tribes?!? I would be interested in learning what you might know.

@Omo I will keep you posted!!! Hopefully it will be good news 

@ Ibkaye, you took the words right out of my mouth! You said exactly what I was feeling, but I think it better having come from someone other than me since clearly some of the posters here don't understand my reasoning behind some of my thoughts/concerns/questions. Finally some peace. I was beginning to regret posting in the first place. 

@Travelista, I totally got what you were saying about craigslist and I agree with you so despite some of the negative reactions you received, I appreacite that you gave me your honest opinion. Any sensible person would understand that meeting a new man could be potentially unsafe, but meeting a new man on CL could be even more hazardous. I posted on CL because I was taking a chance and with any chance there is some risk involved. So far, my "risk" is paying off in the way of a really good man. Thank you for the virtual hug, I needed that 

@Everyone else, (well almost everyone) thanks for the advice and insight. As an update, I spent more time with David and we had a long talk about a lot of things: how we met online vs a typical setting, his culture, some of the differences and similarities between the US and Nigeria, about me thinking he was too perfect and so much more. Needless to say I feel much better. He UNDERSTOOD why I would feel uneasy about some things. More importantly, he showed me how patient and considerate he could be by taking the time to listen without being defensive or jumping to conclusions. I am still going to keep my eyes open (I don't want to be a dumb girl in love/lust who is blind to the important stuff) but, I really think this is the start of something wonderful. I am excited about what the future may hold for us! Wish us blessings in our budding romance!

People WTF is wrong with some of you?!?! Did you not read my original post!?!?!? I care for this man and I WANT him to care for me, I just don't want to look back and say that I was stupid because I fell for something that honestly seems too good to be true. Only time will show that he is the man he says he is AND the man that I believe and want him to be. However, I also recognize that if I were giving one of my friends advice, I would tell her to slow down.

@Ohsisi, THANK YOU! I felt like you and the first two posters were the only ones who attempted to understand where I was coming from. The fact that I am a woman and that I have to look out for my safety is my upmost concern. And I would say that whether he was WHITE BLACK OR whatever. I have fallen for him hard and fast and I was only looking for advice because I know my judgement is cloudy BECAUSE I AM ON CLOUD NINE. I've only known him for a WEEK. Why don't people get that I am scared NOT BECAUSE HE IS NIGERIAN but because he is a man that I know little about (which includes his culture).

I really hope some of you learn how to be more considerate and thoughtful of what people are trying to say. I am not stupid enough to think all nigerians are this way or that just as not all americans are this way or that. Some of you talk about americans in the same way you say we shouldn't talk about you. If I hated Nigerians the way some of you say I do, then why would I have fallen for him!?!?

If everything this man is saying and doing holds true I hope to be with him for as long as he will have me.

@ Deni and Travel THANK YOU for both of your posts. I appreciate your honesty, compassion, and thoughtful answers. And just a thought, I don't think it would be so bad should he see my post. Afterall, I spent half my time talking about how much I am falling for him and what a wonderful man he has been thus far. I spent the other half questioning if this is too good to be true and talking about some of my fears. I wish people could get past the fact that some of the issues we are talking about have to do with ethnicity but they have more to do with the fact that it feels like he is pushing me to committ to him after a short time and it makes me question his intentions. GEEEZZZZ!

@Cyber and Maka all I can say is WOW! Both of you seem to be so caught up in your own issues that you couldn't see that I was only trying to gain some perspective and insight into the man that I am starting a new relationship with. Giving an opinion is one thing. We don't have to agree, but you don't have to be mean and hateful. You can keep your negativity to yourself.

@Onch you are right, kissing him made things confusing, but oh well. I couldn't resist. He is very sexy and super sweet. Only time will tell now.

Travelista I did google him and NOTHING!!!!!!!

I don't necessarily want an African man, I just want a good man! How do I find out if he is really a citizen?

@ Travelista, OMG I know you are so right, BUT I figured if we met out in public first it would be the same as me meeting a man out, exchanging information, and then going on a date. This would be our 4th date coming up, do you still fear for my safety. He has me so swept off my feet I don't even know what to think.

What does akata mean?!?!?!?!

And by the way, I honestly don't think it could be a scam because he is Nigerian. I thought he could be a scammer because we met online which is where a lot of scammers find their prey AND because he seems to say and do all the right things. Of course, he could just be a good guy and in that case I don't want to ruin it.

@ Deniyor I am very sorry if I offended you. We all have fears that we have to overcome and being that I've never dated an African man it is very new for me. I am by no means saying that he is a fraud! In fact, I don't think he is at all. It's simply that he is pushing things so fast that it a little scary and overwhelming at times.

If he were to come to this forum asking if black american women were sluts, then I would know it was because he had some fear that we were, but that I was showing him an example of someone who was not, hence his confusion and desire to seek other people's opinions. Get my point? Either way, MY POINT IS I am just falling head over heels for him and I don't want to be hurt.  I would rather you told me you don't believe he is a fraud and that I should go with my heart than say I don't deserve him. I don't think it is crazy for me to be cautious. I am cautious with any man I am dating, especially if I am still getting to know his heart and his intentions.

I recently tried something new,