₦airaland Forum

This one is serious o.. married for 6 years and she kept all that from you??

Why do I have this feeling Op should run a DNA test on the kids just to be sure. This kind of woman fit carry another man pikin give hubby and pretend all is well.

This is just wrong whichever way you choose to look at it.

The is deep!!

All my life I’ve held the view that it wasn’t right for anyone to go through their partner’s phone. It’s an invasion of privacy and it breeds mistrust in the relationship

Invasion of privacy my left yansh. What kind of mistrust is that? One should be able to go through the other partner's phone anytime she or he wants. Good you learnt the hard way, nothing could have convinced you otherwise

That woman never love you for once, but bros be patient think about your kids i understand e dey pain forgive her.


Bros abeg DNA sharperly

Truly you are a man, I love the part which you said you aren't gonna leave her but if she want divorce you will surely give her... I share your pain,you have to just forgive her totally for the sake of your children.. if we should start sharing what women has done in the name of greed and the one we've read and heard this space won't be enough to contain it.. I know you are still going through healing process and I pray may God heal you completely...

This is why there are more widows than widowers in the world. Husband fathers dad do more than 101% for their love ones. I am speechless reading op post chai

Na only man get the automatic birth right to do that type of thing...they do it - ghana or Nigeria. You even see them telling wifey pack to ya fada house

The man supposed to dey praise the woman as my industrious wifey, next week let us go change the paperwork to our names, but no! Time to vex and bring the house down and come pay for the car i bought for you

tit:
Your wife no do anything now.
She spent money on her family.
Not third party.
If you got broke, I am sure she would have taken more financial responsibility

Bullshit

Walahi talahi I go begin to insult shege comot for some people wey dey comment yeye for this topic.

I dey vex, I dey vibrate pass Nokia 3310

Give credit to the author na.
Na so corruption dey take start o

I never understand how married couples will not have joint savings, know each other's income etc. One piece of advice my father gave me is that money ruins relationships and to avoid this, both man and wife should have joint custody over money.

Once my salary comes in every month, I transfer a fixed amount to my wife to put in savings and she updates me every month on our balance. If I want to invest some of our savings, I ask for an amount and also keep her updated on how the investments are going. Everything is in our joint name. Because I no plan to divorce, and even if the unthinkable happens, na my kids go still benefit from whatever she lays her hands on.

Even promotions at work etc, we discuss salary targets and how to negotiate them so nothing is hidden financially.

Know this and know peace.

See how I opened my mouth widely and couldn't close it... After women fear women

izito:
*

In 2016 she told me her salary was #50.000 And then two years later, when she got promoted, I asked about her salary and she said, “Oh these people, don’t mind them. They added only #5000 to my old salary. Because of her meager salary, I’ve taken up so many responsibilities in the house without complaint. I pay for utilities and pay for food. I pay the fees of our two kids, clothe them, and take care of their medical bills. When my wife sends me a grocery list, she adds sanitary pads. She buys dresses and clothes, comes to show them to me, and asks me to pay for them. She started talking about a car when our second child came in. Things weren’t good on my side so I asked her to give me some time. She said, “I’ve saved something. I can add it to what you have so you pay me when your money comes.”

I agreed and took that money from her, topped it up to get her a car. For three months my ears never rest. She would wake up at dawn and ask me to pay what I owed her. I got tired and paid the money when I didn’t have much in my account.

One evening, I turned my laptop on and saw a lot of emails. I checked and it was my wife’s email that had been opened. I asked her, “Did you use my laptop?” She answered, “Yeah I was checking something.” I told her, “Then you didn’t log out.” She answered, “I forgot. Please log out for me.” I was about to log out when something caught my attention. I saw a mail with the subject, “January Payslip.” I opened and started going through. When I saw her gross salary, I was shocked. #400,734? And this girl has been crying poverty?

I went through the details. That night I couldn’t sleep. I was angry. I felt let down. I felt cheated. I felt played. We’ve been married for six good years and my wife earned that much without my knowledge? How much she earned didn’t bother me a lot than what she was using that money for. I decided not to talk immediately but rather do a little bit of investigation.

All my life I’ve held the view that it wasn’t right for anyone to go through their partner’s phone. It’s an invasion of privacy and it breeds mistrust in the relationship but that night, going through her phone was the only way to find out what I was looking for. I started with her best friend. Nothing much was found. Her family had a Whatsapp group. I read the messages there. I got few hints. I went through the chat with her father and that was when I realized my wife had bought a piece of land and had started building. Her father was in charge of the project. He had sent photos of the various stages of the building. At some point, her father said, “Thank you for helping out your brother. He would have been home had it not been you.”

She has only one brother—her senior brother. I went to look for the chat between them. Her senior brother lost his job and was home doing nothing so my wife bought her Hyundai i10 to use for Uber. Every week, her brother rendered an account and they split the money. From all indications, my wife was doing well for herself while she plays poor so she could rely on my salary. Why would she do that? I thought I was being a supportive husband so my wife could be proud of the man she married. When we bought land, it was her name and my name that appeared on the land title. That car I bought for her with a loan from her bears her name. I didn’t mind. I believed what’s hers was also mine. 

The next morning she realized I wasn’t looking well. I was boiling on the inside but looking for a good opportunity to start the conversation. When I calmed down a little, I asked her, “So why would you do that to me?” She asked, “What have I done?” I answered, “You bought land, you never told me. You started building on it, you never told me. When are you going to tell me?” She was shocked. She asked, “Who told you all that?” I said, “Your father did.” She stood quiet for a while. She asked, “Why would my father tell you all that? What were you people talking about” I said, “I don’t know. You can ask him.” 

We left it there. Some minutes later she came to me with her phone: “My father wants to talk to you.” The phone was already on a loudspeaker. His father was clearly angry. He asked, almost shouting, “You said I told you my daughter has a building? Where did I say that and when?” I asked, “Is it not true that my wife has a building project going on that you’re supervising?”  He asked me, “I told you that?” I asked, “Is it true or not?” After the back and forth I told them, “I read your messages last night. I saw the pictures. I read the various budget you had sent to my wife. I read the confirmation of the money receipts that you sent her. You’re a man. Would you be happy if your wife does this to you?” He started fumbling. He started apologizing saying he thought I was aware.”


My wife stood there motionless, didn’t know what to say. When her father hung up, I told her everything I knew, from her salary to the car she bought for her brother. I said, “Yet, even your sanitary pad, I buy them. You think I’m a fool? You’ll use your money to acquire your own properties and live on mine because you’re my wife? I hear. We’ll see.”

Trust was lost. Love was broken. We had to find a new way of living our lives going forward. Her father called me every morning and evening apologizing for everything and sometimes taking up the blame so I didn’t have to blame his daughter. I told him, “The emotional state I’m in right now, it would be hard to think straight or think forgiveness. Just give me space.” Three days later, they were in our house. The father, the mother, and the senior brother. They came to apologize. “Don’t let this break up the beautiful marriage you both have. If nothing at all, consider the kids and be lenient in your judgment.”

I listened to them. My position was still the same. “I need time to clear my mind. Just leave me alone to think.” From last month to this moment that I’m writing this, my wife had changed totally. She doesn’t ask for money but the house is being run smoothly. She has started paying for things she never paid for but that doesn’t move me. She has taught me a very great lesson and I’m taking it seriously. That in everything, I have to look out for myself and my family first. Last she told me, “If you want us to change the names on those properties, we can do so.” Guess whose name is on the property…her father’s name.”

I told her, “You don’t need to change anything. They are yours. You suffered for them so you can decide what you want to do with them.” The land I bought has our names. I’m selling it and take my money back. The car she’s driving has her name. I put a for-sale sticker on it some weeks ago. She agreed she’ll pay for the car. I’ve given her two months to pay up or I sell it and take my money. She’s getting the message and I’m glad. Each one for himself, God for us all. She keeps asking if I’m going to leave her. I keep telling her I won’t but if she wants a divorce, I will gladly give her. I’m not going to leave the marriage. I would give us some time to heal and see what may happen but when it comes to money, I’ve taken the lesson she taught me through her actions. 

*What's your take?*

I had to login my account after so many months reading as a guest.

My brother, I’ll tell you how I was able to manage the same situation with my wife. Don’t let go the marriage please. Sit madam down tell her at this point both of you need to make it work by taking responsibilities . Trust me whatsoever you ask of her now she’ll gladly do without no second thoughts. So tell her at the end of every month, both of you’ll have to save 70% of your monthly income for your family then the remaining 30% can be use for personal purposes. This is what I’m using to run my family. Please don’t let anger destroy your beautiful family. Just try your very best to forgive though I know it can be so painful after putting whole lots.

OP I completely blame you for this and you need to accept responsibility that it is your fault. As educated as you are, you should have seen her payslip before believing anything. Why would your wife keep such deep secrets under the same roof with you. I suggest 2 things now, have a joint account with her where she must deposit half her salary and what her brother remits from the Uber ride and you do the same for the efficient running of the home. Acquire and sell off the car and vital things you bought for her and use part of it to pay off the loan you got from her and the rest to help your own family whom have been considerate with you for not reaching out to them. Take charge of your home and make her contribute to the running of the home. Don't blame her, you didn't seek to know her well. Every woman is cunning until you stand firm and prove you are not easily deceived. Don't divorce her, your discoveries are for you to take charge of your home. Ensure she always contributes half her salary to run the home. The rest can go for her upkeep. Projects to be executed henceforth must be with participation of both of you.

This didn't happen in Nigeria, you could have given credit to the original writer.

So emotional.. It got me speechless.. One thing, I know is that if I love someone truly, I become their fool.. I cant and will never do this to someone I love, talk more of one who doesnt want to see me suffer.. Advise for all, know the limit in which your family decides your marital life for you...

Jodha:
Wow some people are really heartless....yhur wife is a very wicked and greedy woman....I don't think she loves yhu...even if she does ....she loves money and material things more...

Her family doesn't rate yhu at all...if not her father wouldn't have supported her...
I don't want to apportion blames up and down...what yhu need is a way forward...

Trust is already broken... without trust it'll be very difficult for that marriage to work...

let me ask you: is it that you don't know how to spell "you" or you just like f*olishly using this "yhu" junk?

How can you write all other words correctly and find happiness in misspelling "you"?

If u are still eating her food, then u are a very mumu man. it costs her nothing to eliminate you at this point.

Marriage that is built on deceit will not stand. They scammed you bro but thank God youve seen the light. That family is wicked...if na me na divorce straight!

izito:
*

In 2016 she told me her salary was #50.000 And then two years later, when she got promoted, I asked about her salary and she said, “Oh these people, don’t mind them. They added only #5000 to my old salary. Because of her meager salary, I’ve taken up so many responsibilities in the house without complaint. I pay for utilities and pay for food. I pay the fees of our two kids, clothe them, and take care of their medical bills. When my wife sends me a grocery list, she adds sanitary pads. She buys dresses and clothes, comes to show them to me, and asks me to pay for them. She started talking about a car when our second child came in. Things weren’t good on my side so I asked her to give me some time. She said, “I’ve saved something. I can add it to what you have so you pay me when your money comes.”

I agreed and took that money from her, topped it up to get her a car. For three months my ears never rest. She would wake up at dawn and ask me to pay what I owed her. I got tired and paid the money when I didn’t have much in my account.

One evening, I turned my laptop on and saw a lot of emails. I checked and it was my wife’s email that had been opened. I asked her, “Did you use my laptop?” She answered, “Yeah I was checking something.” I told her, “Then you didn’t log out.” She answered, “I forgot. Please log out for me.” I was about to log out when something caught my attention. I saw a mail with the subject, “January Payslip.” I opened and started going through. When I saw her gross salary, I was shocked. #400,734? And this girl has been crying poverty?

I went through the details. That night I couldn’t sleep. I was angry. I felt let down. I felt cheated. I felt played. We’ve been married for six good years and my wife earned that much without my knowledge? How much she earned didn’t bother me a lot than what she was using that money for. I decided not to talk immediately but rather do a little bit of investigation.

All my life I’ve held the view that it wasn’t right for anyone to go through their partner’s phone. It’s an invasion of privacy and it breeds mistrust in the relationship but that night, going through her phone was the only way to find out what I was looking for. I started with her best friend. Nothing much was found. Her family had a Whatsapp group. I read the messages there. I got few hints. I went through the chat with her father and that was when I realized my wife had bought a piece of land and had started building. Her father was in charge of the project. He had sent photos of the various stages of the building. At some point, her father said, “Thank you for helping out your brother. He would have been home had it not been you.”

She has only one brother—her senior brother. I went to look for the chat between them. Her senior brother lost his job and was home doing nothing so my wife bought her Hyundai i10 to use for Uber. Every week, her brother rendered an account and they split the money. From all indications, my wife was doing well for herself while she plays poor so she could rely on my salary. Why would she do that? I thought I was being a supportive husband so my wife could be proud of the man she married. When we bought land, it was her name and my name that appeared on the land title. That car I bought for her with a loan from her bears her name. I didn’t mind. I believed what’s hers was also mine. 

The next morning she realized I wasn’t looking well. I was boiling on the inside but looking for a good opportunity to start the conversation. When I calmed down a little, I asked her, “So why would you do that to me?” She asked, “What have I done?” I answered, “You bought land, you never told me. You started building on it, you never told me. When are you going to tell me?” She was shocked. She asked, “Who told you all that?” I said, “Your father did.” She stood quiet for a while. She asked, “Why would my father tell you all that? What were you people talking about” I said, “I don’t know. You can ask him.” 

We left it there. Some minutes later she came to me with her phone: “My father wants to talk to you.” The phone was already on a loudspeaker. His father was clearly angry. He asked, almost shouting, “You said I told you my daughter has a building? Where did I say that and when?” I asked, “Is it not true that my wife has a building project going on that you’re supervising?”  He asked me, “I told you that?” I asked, “Is it true or not?” After the back and forth I told them, “I read your messages last night. I saw the pictures. I read the various budget you had sent to my wife. I read the confirmation of the money receipts that you sent her. You’re a man. Would you be happy if your wife does this to you?” He started fumbling. He started apologizing saying he thought I was aware.”


My wife stood there motionless, didn’t know what to say. When her father hung up, I told her everything I knew, from her salary to the car she bought for her brother. I said, “Yet, even your sanitary pad, I buy them. You think I’m a fool? You’ll use your money to acquire your own properties and live on mine because you’re my wife? I hear. We’ll see.”

Trust was lost. Love was broken. We had to find a new way of living our lives going forward. Her father called me every morning and evening apologizing for everything and sometimes taking up the blame so I didn’t have to blame his daughter. I told him, “The emotional state I’m in right now, it would be hard to think straight or think forgiveness. Just give me space.” Three days later, they were in our house. The father, the mother, and the senior brother. They came to apologize. “Don’t let this break up the beautiful marriage you both have. If nothing at all, consider the kids and be lenient in your judgment.”

I listened to them. My position was still the same. “I need time to clear my mind. Just leave me alone to think.” From last month to this moment that I’m writing this, my wife had changed totally. She doesn’t ask for money but the house is being run smoothly. She has started paying for things she never paid for but that doesn’t move me. She has taught me a very great lesson and I’m taking it seriously. That in everything, I have to look out for myself and my family first. Last she told me, “If you want us to change the names on those properties, we can do so.” Guess whose name is on the property…her father’s name.”

I told her, “You don’t need to change anything. They are yours. You suffered for them so you can decide what you want to do with them.” The land I bought has our names. I’m selling it and take my money back. The car she’s driving has her name. I put a for-sale sticker on it some weeks ago. She agreed she’ll pay for the car. I’ve given her two months to pay up or I sell it and take my money. She’s getting the message and I’m glad. Each one for himself, God for us all. She keeps asking if I’m going to leave her. I keep telling her I won’t but if she wants a divorce, I will gladly give her. I’m not going to leave the marriage. I would give us some time to heal and see what may happen but when it comes to money, I’ve taken the lesson she taught me through her actions. 

*What's your take?*

Having gone through your statement, I must confess u are good and gentleman with a bad and evil wife.
If I were u, I would tell her to escort me to somewhere then I will drive down to her father's house and drop her their, then I will run locate somewhere with my kids. I hate nonsense and I HV never have her taken nonsense from any daughter of eve

Skyfornia:
This piece is emotional...OP I feel your pain, I'll feel worse if I were in your position. But I have to save my marriage...don't stretch this anymore since your wife has shown remorse. Her actions might be influenced by her family and she thought she was doing right...forgive her and try to forget it

Going forward, sit with her and factorize what each of you should be spending at home. It can be 70-30 ratio or 60-40 ratio, with you taking care of the lion share...you are the man of the house and It is your duty as a man to protect your family from any force..even if the force is coming from your wife. Don't allow it tear your family.

I wish you luck!

Bro you spoke well....
There is a deep cut
And the scar would be on the man's mind.....
Even if he forgives her.
It's really heart breaking.
My friend was picked up by the police and the issues requires bail....
He has been with me for like 3 months ,he made me believe he doesn't have money and I have been the one handling all expenses...
He called me to come bail him but the kind of money they were requesting I dint have it at the moment..
But he was insisting I come to the station...
I got there he handed me his atm card to pull out the money and I added the one with me...I don't know what made me to check his account balance.
The shock I got ehnnnnn made me shade tears...

oh No mosdii must not see this

This thread addresses so many issues for me.... Live changing moment!


Women will use you, then, hate and despise you..... That is who they are.

donaldking10:
forgive and forget for the sake of dem kids.

I hate this line with passion. You want the man to forgive and forget because of the kids, the same kids that will grow up and easily forget that the man existed if that evil wife and her family eventually kill the husband. You think they don't have contingent plan abi? Do you know how long they planned that evil? You think they will give up now just like that. The wife and her family already know that the trust is broken and that the marriage is already in jeopardy so they will opt for plan B in case soon. In this life once you identify an enemy, eliminate him immediately because you may not survive his second attack. Enough said.

Most of the women we have in Nigeria and african women are Devils in disguise.Aplologies to the good ones among them.It is Not only in naija,even abroad all african women are thesame.You Must fear them,they can kill the strongest man on Earth.i will advice you to forgive and lets Go.All women are thesame ,from naija to Cameron ,to Ghana .they are all same.you have only learnt a bitter Lesson.Move on ,thou its hard to bear .After you gave your best for the Family ,she decided to keep her best .i advice you give her a fine ,for the next 4 years .she bear all the expense AS punishment .when you are satisfied ,you Lift embargo.she has comitted a grave offence .her crime are collecting Money under false pretence ,Breach of Trust .No divorce but let her judge the Matter and Tell her to choose her punishment lol

izito:
*

In 2016 she told me her salary was #50.000 And then two years later, when she got promoted, I asked about her salary and she said, “Oh these people, don’t mind them. They added only #5000 to my old salary. Because of her meager salary, I’ve taken up so many responsibilities in the house without complaint. I pay for utilities and pay for food. I pay the fees of our two kids, clothe them, and take care of their medical bills. When my wife sends me a grocery list, she adds sanitary pads. She buys dresses and clothes, comes to show them to me, and asks me to pay for them. She started talking about a car when our second child came in. Things weren’t good on my side so I asked her to give me some time. She said, “I’ve saved something. I can add it to what you have so you pay me when your money comes.”

I agreed and took that money from her, topped it up to get her a car. For three months my ears never rest. She would wake up at dawn and ask me to pay what I owed her. I got tired and paid the money when I didn’t have much in my account.

One evening, I turned my laptop on and saw a lot of emails. I checked and it was my wife’s email that had been opened. I asked her, “Did you use my laptop?” She answered, “Yeah I was checking something.” I told her, “Then you didn’t log out.” She answered, “I forgot. Please log out for me.” I was about to log out when something caught my attention. I saw a mail with the subject, “January Payslip.” I opened and started going through. When I saw her gross salary, I was shocked. #400,734? And this girl has been crying poverty?

I went through the details. That night I couldn’t sleep. I was angry. I felt let down. I felt cheated. I felt played. We’ve been married for six good years and my wife earned that much without my knowledge? How much she earned didn’t bother me a lot than what she was using that money for. I decided not to talk immediately but rather do a little bit of investigation.

All my life I’ve held the view that it wasn’t right for anyone to go through their partner’s phone. It’s an invasion of privacy and it breeds mistrust in the relationship but that night, going through her phone was the only way to find out what I was looking for. I started with her best friend. Nothing much was found. Her family had a Whatsapp group. I read the messages there. I got few hints. I went through the chat with her father and that was when I realized my wife had bought a piece of land and had started building. Her father was in charge of the project. He had sent photos of the various stages of the building. At some point, her father said, “Thank you for helping out your brother. He would have been home had it not been you.”

She has only one brother—her senior brother. I went to look for the chat between them. Her senior brother lost his job and was home doing nothing so my wife bought her Hyundai i10 to use for Uber. Every week, her brother rendered an account and they split the money. From all indications, my wife was doing well for herself while she plays poor so she could rely on my salary. Why would she do that? I thought I was being a supportive husband so my wife could be proud of the man she married. When we bought land, it was her name and my name that appeared on the land title. That car I bought for her with a loan from her bears her name. I didn’t mind. I believed what’s hers was also mine. 

The next morning she realized I wasn’t looking well. I was boiling on the inside but looking for a good opportunity to start the conversation. When I calmed down a little, I asked her, “So why would you do that to me?” She asked, “What have I done?” I answered, “You bought land, you never told me. You started building on it, you never told me. When are you going to tell me?” She was shocked. She asked, “Who told you all that?” I said, “Your father did.” She stood quiet for a while. She asked, “Why would my father tell you all that? What were you people talking about” I said, “I don’t know. You can ask him.” 

We left it there. Some minutes later she came to me with her phone: “My father wants to talk to you.” The phone was already on a loudspeaker. His father was clearly angry. He asked, almost shouting, “You said I told you my daughter has a building? Where did I say that and when?” I asked, “Is it not true that my wife has a building project going on that you’re supervising?”  He asked me, “I told you that?” I asked, “Is it true or not?” After the back and forth I told them, “I read your messages last night. I saw the pictures. I read the various budget you had sent to my wife. I read the confirmation of the money receipts that you sent her. You’re a man. Would you be happy if your wife does this to you?” He started fumbling. He started apologizing saying he thought I was aware.”


My wife stood there motionless, didn’t know what to say. When her father hung up, I told her everything I knew, from her salary to the car she bought for her brother. I said, “Yet, even your sanitary pad, I buy them. You think I’m a fool? You’ll use your money to acquire your own properties and live on mine because you’re my wife? I hear. We’ll see.”

Trust was lost. Love was broken. We had to find a new way of living our lives going forward. Her father called me every morning and evening apologizing for everything and sometimes taking up the blame so I didn’t have to blame his daughter. I told him, “The emotional state I’m in right now, it would be hard to think straight or think forgiveness. Just give me space.” Three days later, they were in our house. The father, the mother, and the senior brother. They came to apologize. “Don’t let this break up the beautiful marriage you both have. If nothing at all, consider the kids and be lenient in your judgment.”

I listened to them. My position was still the same. “I need time to clear my mind. Just leave me alone to think.” From last month to this moment that I’m writing this, my wife had changed totally. She doesn’t ask for money but the house is being run smoothly. She has started paying for things she never paid for but that doesn’t move me. She has taught me a very great lesson and I’m taking it seriously. That in everything, I have to look out for myself and my family first. Last she told me, “If you want us to change the names on those properties, we can do so.” Guess whose name is on the property…her father’s name.”

I told her, “You don’t need to change anything. They are yours. You suffered for them so you can decide what you want to do with them.” The land I bought has our names. I’m selling it and take my money back. The car she’s driving has her name. I put a for-sale sticker on it some weeks ago. She agreed she’ll pay for the car. I’ve given her two months to pay up or I sell it and take my money. She’s getting the message and I’m glad. Each one for himself, God for us all. She keeps asking if I’m going to leave her. I keep telling her I won’t but if she wants a divorce, I will gladly give her. I’m not going to leave the marriage. I would give us some time to heal and see what may happen but when it comes to money, I’ve taken the lesson she taught me through her actions. 

*What's your take?*

.

Jodha:
Wow some people are really heartless....yhur wife is a very wicked and greedy woman....I don't think she loves yhu...even if she does ....she loves money and material things more...

Her family doesn't rate yhu at all...if not her father wouldn't have supported her...
I don't want to apportion blames up and down...what yhu need is a way forward...

Trust is already broken... without trust it'll be very difficult for that marriage to work...

But bro, it's doesn't take you anything to write "Yhu" as "You"

Grow up dude

From all indications, you are not yet married. Your wife used you to wipe shame off her face lest they say she's not married.

Ninokingz1:
I had to login my account after so many months reading as a guest.

My brother, I’ll tell you how I was able to manage the same situation with my wife. Don’t let go the marriage please. Sit madam down tell her at this point both of you need to make it work by taking responsibility. Trust me whatsoever you ask of her now she’ll gladly do without no second thoughts. So tell her at the end of every month, both of you’ll have to save 70% of your monthly income for your family then the remaining 30% can be use for personal purposes. This is what I’m using to run my family. Please don’t let anger destroy your beautiful family. Just try your very best to forgive though I know it can be so painful after putting whole lots.

That family cannot be addressed as beautiful but a burden... They can only work together to make it beautiful but not without scars and emotional wounds.

Funny thing is I read this same story 3 days ago on someone’s WhatsApp status, 95% of the words are the same, only difference I can remember is they’re Ghanian couples because the narrator mentioned her salary in Ghc...

Octopusbottle:
If I were in your shoes, i would be mad at the whole thing, But on the other hand,she did what she thought was right
Firstly,from your storyline u sounded financially okay,so I felt she saw the need to give more of her financial support to her family since u were handling the finance.
Secondly, I think she hide her salary from you because she doesn't know how u might react,most time salary difference cause problem in marriage(jealousy,the man think if she buys anything new without is knowledge it's "pride".
Thirdly, she's your wife "she is ur responsibility" and "you are her responsibility",u just let her know ,it would take time to heal the "Trust Issue"
Just find a place in ur heart to forgive for your sake.

Please find a duster and clean the board you wrote all this. Make sure it is neat and shiny. Thank you

Fantastic point....i totally concur with you.

Op should consider your opinion.









quote author=Jodha post=100189234]Yhu have to decide if yhu still want the relationship.... nobody can advise yhu on that.. it's a decision only yhu can make....

Marriage is not a switch yhu can turn on and off..since yhure in...yhure in...
It's difficult but yhu have to try and forgive her.... it'll take time but for the sake of the children...

Do yhu still love her?
I think she has learnt her lesson by now.,...but keep splitting the bills...if she cannot play her role as a support...then yhu shouldn't stress yhurself for her.....

Pray about it... there's nothing God cannot fix... he'll surely heal yhur broken heart...[/quote]

This is one of the urgly part I hate about women. They are heartless,I don't even blame some men who do not tell their wife everything they do. Some women are so wicked.i really do not know what may heal this wound. Trust and love is gone forever