₦airaland Forum

Hello peeps

Do you guys think I am overreacting expecting that my wife feel confident to discuss any family issue in my presence especially as I do the same?

Am I expecting too much by thinking she should carry me along in her business decisions especially as I do the same. She has all my passwords both for bank and emails. Only recently I changed password for phones cos she keeps reading my messages while her own phone is password.

Recently her friend's sister was rude to me which I told her the reply is the girl insulted me and I insulted her no issue. This is someone who I had to because of relocate from the state I have lived all my life for simply because she was rude to my mother and my mother chose not to be forgiving ( Mumsy hardly ever forgives ).

pierreojo101:
Hello peeps,

I need Advise. I try to be a nice husband to my wife but recently I started noticing characters that scares me.

She is often secretive and many times I get to know her plans from strangers or after it has been carried out.

For instance, according to her ( cos I don't take note and I didn't give in one lump sum ) I gave her over 2m for her business. Unfortunately when she was to start the business she got pregnant of our second born and when she was to start again coro came and again she got pregnant.

After that she made up her mind not to do the business again. I was not informed I only heard from someone in the church who is a mother to both of us.

All of a sudden she started selling the stuff. Whatever she does with the money I don't know all I know is she is always needing money.

Each time she is on phone with her relatives and I enter the room ( she goes inside to receive her calls ) she immediately ends the call or change topic or speak In a way that you know she is not comfortable.

Many atimes I have had to excuse her from the room.

Ever since we got married it has always been one issue to the other. My friend was telling me moments ago ( I started seeing my old friends again due to the fact that she is never available for me ) that I am in a sexless marriages.

Two years ago I discovered her father is her next of kin and till date.

Her siblings will be rude to me she will look away. When it turns to fight she will apologise and when same thing happens she blackmails me with me not being forgiving and Christ like.

1. Do you guys think I am overreacting expecting that my wife feel confident to discuss any family issue in my presence especially as I do the same?

2. Am I expecting too much by thinking she should carry me along in her business decisions especially as I do the same. She has all my passwords both for bank and emails. Only recently I changed password for phones cos she keeps reading my messages while her own phone is password.

3. Recently her friend's sister was rude to me which I told her the reply is the girl insulted me and I insulted her no issue. This is someone who I had to because of relocate from the state I have lived all my life for simply because she was rude to my mother and my mother chose not to be forgiving ( Mumsy hardly ever forgives ).

pierreojo101:
Hello peeps,

I need Advise. I try to be a nice husband to my wife but recently I started noticing characters that scares me.

She is often secretive and many times I get to know her plans from strangers or after it has been carried out.

For instance, according to her ( cos I don't take note and I didn't give in one lump sum ) I gave her over 2m for her business. Unfortunately when she was to start the business she got pregnant of our second born and when she was to start again coro came and again she got pregnant.

After that she made up her mind not to do the business again. I was not informed I only heard from someone in the church who is a mother to both of us.

All of a sudden she started selling the stuff. Whatever she does with the money I don't know all I know is she is always needing money.

Each time she is on phone with her relatives and I enter the room ( she goes inside to receive her calls ) she immediately ends the call or change topic or speak In a way that you know she is not comfortable.

Many atimes I have had to excuse her from the room.

Ever since we got married it has always been one issue to the other. My friend was telling me moments ago ( I started seeing my old friends again due to the fact that she is never available for me ) that I am in a sexless marriages.

Two years ago I discovered her father is her next of kin and till date.

Her siblings will be rude to me she will look away. When it turns to fight she will apologise and when same thing happens she blackmails me with me not being forgiving and Christ like.

1. Do you guys think I am overreacting expecting that my wife feel confident to discuss any family issue in my presence especially as I do the same?

2. Am I expecting too much by thinking she should carry me along in her business decisions especially as I do the same. She has all my passwords both for bank and emails. Only recently I changed password for phones cos she keeps reading my messages while her own phone is password.

3. Recently her friend's sister was rude to me which I told her the reply is the girl insulted me and I insulted her no issue. This is someone who I had to because of relocate from the state I have lived all my life for simply because she was rude to my mother and my mother chose not to be forgiving ( Mumsy hardly ever forgives ).

pierreojo101:
We have been married for 5 years

Marytj:
Based on what you have said you are not overreacting neither are you expecting too much but judging from only what you have said without hearing from your wife wouldn't be a wise or even right approach. Oga, our one sided view suggestions wont help your marriage! With all you said, you don't seem to have discussed all these issues with her, I think you should start from there.

pierreojo101:
Hello peeps,

I need Advise. I try to be a nice husband to my wife but recently I started noticing characters that scares me.

She is often secretive and many times I get to know her plans from strangers or after it has been carried out.

For instance, according to her ( cos I don't take note and I didn't give in one lump sum ) I gave her over 2m for her business. Unfortunately when she was to start the business she got pregnant of our second born and when she was to start again coro came and again she got pregnant.

After that she made up her mind not to do the business again. I was not informed I only heard from someone in the church who is a mother to both of us.

All of a sudden she started selling the stuff. Whatever she does with the money I don't know all I know is she is always needing money.

Each time she is on phone with her relatives and I enter the room ( she goes inside to receive her calls ) she immediately ends the call or change topic or speak In a way that you know she is not comfortable.

Many atimes I have had to excuse her from the room.

Ever since we got married it has always been one issue to the other. My friend was telling me moments ago ( I started seeing my old friends again due to the fact that she is never available for me ) that I am in a sexless marriages.

Two years ago I discovered her father is her next of kin and till date.

Her siblings will be rude to me she will look away. When it turns to fight she will apologise and when same thing happens she blackmails me with me not being forgiving and Christ like.

1. Do you guys think I am overreacting expecting that my wife feel confident to discuss any family issue in my presence especially as I do the same?

2. Am I expecting too much by thinking she should carry me along in her business decisions especially as I do the same. She has all my passwords both for bank and emails. Only recently I changed password for phones cos she keeps reading my messages while her own phone is password.

3. Recently her friend's sister was rude to me which I told her the reply is the girl insulted me and I insulted her no issue. This is someone who I had to because of relocate from the state I have lived all my life for simply because she was rude to my mother and my mother chose not to be forgiving ( Mumsy hardly ever forgives ).

pierreojo101:
Hello peeps,

I need Advise. I try to be a nice husband to my wife but recently I started noticing characters that scares me.

She is often secretive and many times I get to know her plans from strangers or after it has been carried out.

For instance, according to her ( cos I don't take note and I didn't give in one lump sum ) I gave her over 2m for her business. Unfortunately when she was to start the business she got pregnant of our second born and when she was to start again coro came and again she got pregnant.

After that she made up her mind not to do the business again. I was not informed I only heard from someone in the church who is a mother to both of us.

All of a sudden she started selling the stuff. Whatever she does with the money I don't know all I know is she is always needing money.

Each time she is on phone with her relatives and I enter the room ( she goes inside to receive her calls ) she immediately ends the call or change topic or speak In a way that you know she is not comfortable.

Many atimes I have had to excuse her from the room.

Ever since we got married it has always been one issue to the other. My friend was telling me moments ago ( I started seeing my old friends again due to the fact that she is never available for me ) that I am in a sexless marriages.

Two years ago I discovered her father is her next of kin and till date.

Her siblings will be rude to me she will look away. When it turns to fight she will apologise and when same thing happens she blackmails me with me not being forgiving and Christ like.

1. Do you guys think I am overreacting expecting that my wife feel confident to discuss any family issue in my presence especially as I do the same?

2. Am I expecting too much by thinking she should carry me along in her business decisions especially as I do the same. She has all my passwords both for bank and emails. Only recently I changed password for phones cos she keeps reading my messages while her own phone is password.

3. Recently her friend's sister was rude to me which I told her the reply is the girl insulted me and I insulted her no issue. This is someone who I had to because of relocate from the state I have lived all my life for simply because she was rude to my mother and my mother chose not to be forgiving ( Mumsy hardly ever forgives ).

Ginaz:
Ah ah!

Your wife seriously needs to chill. It's not done that way na. I can't imagine anyone insulting my future hubby and I will take it slightly. Are you mad ni? Nobody in my family or friends will ever try such.

My one and only Lipton tea ,you want to be talking anyhow to?

Her secretive ways cause for concern. Well, kindly sit her down and pour your heart to her , she may feeling you're not a good listener for she to be hiding things from you.

Yusufisraelj:
Aha! Opportunity to clear the air - you see in one post like that you mistaken my comment to make you look cheap, never, I meant when you fall in love finally you will do so whole heatedly hence my prayer. Pls no hard feelings I'm here to learn, unlearn and relearn. But your above post is wonderful

Ginaz:
Why is it wonderful? Biko leave the wonderful alone for my future Lipton tea to tell me that o.

Yusufisraelj:
It's wonderful bkos it buttressed my earlier notion that you can love whole heatedly!

Who knows if I'm the Lipton tea self. Haa Chineke come to my aid! Lols

Ginaz:
*runs away*

crackhaus:
In situations like this, it's always the same solution I apply.

Everything she does to you which you don't like, do them back to her in equal measure...
The trick however is, you must be sleek while returning her actions back at her – don't throw it in her face.

Women who have a habit of not paying attention to your words & complaints, will usually pay attention to your actions.


I used the word 'usually' because it's either she speaks out against your new attitude towards her, or she will simply not care:
– If her reaction is the former, it will be an opportunity to open new discussions as a family and sort out your marital issues.
– If her reaction is the latter (not caring), then be aware that you have lost your wife already and are currently living with a stranger who can kill you in your sleep.

OlawaleBammie:
Well,

Sorry, why not do it like an eye for an eye scenario??

If she is not comfortable discussing her business with u, stop funding and imaginary business

If she cant discuss allow u check her fon, den keep ur fon safe from her finger as well and gboju from her fon

If she cant make calls while u re around her den why cant u
Employ thesame tactics,

If she choose to make her papa her next of kin how is dat ur problem?? Use ur trusted brother or father, u can as well us ur mama.

If she feels that u re not worthy of discussing family issue with but rather an outsider den why dont u kuku start executing ur own project on a low key?? Let her also be taken aback wen the result of ur secret plan come out open

Ordinarily men should be a little bit secretive, u disclose some and keep some, the little u keep is what make u a man, u dont always open mouth waaaaaaaa just cus u want to be a pleasing husband, remember u can never please a woman, even ur papa never pleased ur mama.

And all these are character shouldn't cus a tension between u cus u never said she retract from her wifely/homely duties apart from the fact that u said u re in a sexless marriage.

About the sex stuff, (me o, if na me i knkw wetin a go do, na how our forefathers dey do am me go do am, i never said i wil get a second wife o ) but for u, yoruba adage would say..... Toba kowaju sie koota, toba koyin sie koota, toba ku iwo nikan, den tu ero ara e pa.

Marytj:
Based on what you have said you are not overreacting neither are you expecting too much but judging from only what you have said without hearing from your wife wouldn't be a wise or even right approach. Oga, our one sided view suggestions wont help your marriage! With all you said, you don't seem to have discussed all these issues with her, I think you should start from there.