I was once married to this woman whom I had 2 kids with unfortunately we lost our first born at birth and we had only one child left.

She completly changed after the birth of our daughter, she started drinking and coming home late. Her parents were tired and ashamed of her attitudes but she didn't listened to them when they tried to advise her.

After a few years she becomes pregnant again, I knew from the bottom of my hart that I was not responsible for her pregnancy but because I loved her so much and I didn't want a broken home for our daughter because I am a product or a broken home, I have suffered all my life because my parents were busy with their new family while I suffered alone in relatives houses and I didn't want my daughter to become a victim so my prater was if I am responsible for her pregnancy, she will give birth peacefully and if I am not she will suffer during labour and the child must not leave.

God really answered my prayers because I was innocent and she really suffered during labour as death was knocking on her door, she confess that I wasn't responsible for the pregnancy and at the end the child didn't survived.

I told her not to worry that I have forgave her for the sake of our daughter, I paid all the hospital expenses and we went home. We were living fine and I have never for once I suited her or reminded her of what she did to me, but just 2 months after she left with our daughter and went back to her parents. I followed her to her parents begging her to come home but she refused becuase her guilty conscious couldn't allow her to stay in the marriage again but I promise to always be there for our daughter.

It is been 7 years since our separation and I have been paying maintance for my daughter but I had to stop 2 years ago because I have found out that she lied to me about a lot of things. She told me her school fee was 55k per trimester, I was sending her 25k monthly for chime upkeep plus her school fees but I later found out that her echo fee was only 33k per simester and she use the rest of the money to pay for her other son she had with another man.

I wasn't happy that I told her I will never pay for another man child that I want to have custody of my daughter but she refused.

So I haven't send her any kobo neither saw the child for the past 2 years because she won't allow me have contact because I am not paying for her upkeep. I would like to know if is possible for me to take her to court for the custody of my daughter because I don't want her to grow up under her care because she will turn up bad like her mother. Also I will not send her any money again as long she is still staying with her mother. she is 11 this July.

stupid useless man, to shoot you dey hungry me. tueh

johnkey:
stupid useless man, to shoot you dey hungry me. tueh

Stupid fool go and shoot yourself. If you have nothing to day young man go to the romance section because this matter is not for your age.

Stop bringing your problems to nairaland. Majority of them have it worse.

Jmkzb:


Stupid fool go and shoot yourself. If you have nothing to day young man go to the romance section because this matter is not for your age.

old fool na why you mumu at 'your age'. Serves you right dunce I like as these hoes be treating you mumu men teaching sense that you refuse to learn when young. old fool go and wash plates lol it's that time of the day

My friend what you said is most likely paternity fraud for me you got no case here rather than serving her a notice either from a family meeting or through the Human rights or customary court. Since u have been separated for almost half a decade and your daughter is above age jurisdiction to be with the mother, even if you have gotten a new lady she have no option than to accommodate your daughter.

Jmkzb:
I was once married to this woman whom I had 2 kids with unfortunately we lost our first born at birth and we had only one child left.

So I haven't send her any kobo neither saw the child for the past 2 years because she won't allow me have contact because I am not paying for her upkeep. I would like to know if is possible for me to take her to court for the custody of my daughter because I don't want her to grow up under her care because she will turn up bad like her mother. Also I will not send her any money again as long she is still staying with her mother. she is 11 this July.

Johnkey This Your statement no just make head
You need to calm down abeg.

johnkey:
[s]stupid useless man, to shoot you dey hungry me. tueh[/s]

LilMissFavvy this is Nigeria and no one give such order in Supreme Court of law. Haven’t you heard about the recent news about girl child, no woman can say because it’s a girl child the father won’t find her. She’s above 10yrs so it’s time to reunit with the father. She as the mother can visit the daughter.
She can make plenty babies why then hold another mans child that was legally married to her...

LilMissFavvy:
. If she refuses then you can go to court so that they give you visitation rights.

After you discovered your ex wife tells lies and collects too much money from you, you should have simply reduced the amount of money you give her, rather than stop giving money for your daughter's upkeep. You should not let your daughter suffer because of the sins of the mother. If your ex wife doesn't have a stable source of income, then it means she's living off the pockets of men, and that's a very bad atmosphere for your daughter. The child is better off staying with her mother, but you should start giving the mother child support, and tell her you want to be seeing your child. If she refuses then you can go to court so that they give you visitation rights.

Fulaniherdmens:
My friend what you said is most likely paternity fraud for me you got no case here rather than serving her a notice either from a family meeting or through the Human rights or customary court. Since u have been separated for almost half a decade and your daughter is above age jurisdiction to be with the mother, even if you have gotten a new lady she have no option than to accommodate your daughter.





Johnkey This Your statement no just make head
You need to calm down abeg.

Thank you for the advice.

LilMissFavvy:
After you discovered your ex wife tells lies and collects too much money from you, you should have simply reduced the amount of money you give her, rather than stop giving money for your daughter's upkeep. You should not let your daughter suffer because of the sins of the mother. If your ex wife doesn't have a stable source of income, then it means she's living off the pockets of men, and that's a very bad atmosphere for your daughter. The child is better off staying with her mother, but you should start giving the mother child support, and tell her you want to be seeing your child. If she refuses then you can go to court so that they give you visitation rights.

Thank you for the advice. If she is better off with her mother then there is nothing much I can do for her until she reach the right age to live with me . If I get her custody I will make sure to give her the best life ever.

It is sad you married an irresponsible and ungrateful woman who is unwilling to change.

You have every right to seek custody.

Hope you have evidence of payments of these monies you've been paying?

Romanoff:
It is sad you married an irresponsible and ungrateful woman who is unwilling to change.

You have every right to seek custody.

Hope you have evidence of payments of these monies you've been paying?

Thanks for the advice, yes I do have the evidences.

Jmkzb:


Thanks for the advice, yes I do have the evidences.

It shouldn't be difficult. Just contact a lawyer first and have all the necessary information you'll need to proceed.

I'd rather stay unmarried.

Romanoff:


It shouldn't be difficult. Just contact a lawyer first and have all the necessary information you'll need to proceed.

Thank you

Firstly, have you confirmed if the daughter is truly yours? Secondly, why do you want to keep a daughter whose formative years was around her irresponsible mother? I'll suggest you move on with your life. And don't forget to send some financial assistance to the girl for her upkeep every now and then.

Exmilitant:
Firstly, have you confirmed if the daughter is truly yours? Secondly, why do you want to keep a daughter whose formative years was around her irresponsible mother? I'll suggest you move on with your life. And don't forget to send some financial assistance to the girl for her upkeep every now and then.

It won't be easy for me to move on without my child, she is my one and only child I want her to be with me.

Jmkzb:


It won't be easy for me to move on without my child, she is my one and only child I want her to be with me.

so why are you acting like a sick puppy? What prevents you from marching to her place and drag your daughter out?

Exmilitant:
so why are you acting like a sick puppy? What prevents you from marching to her place and drag your daughter out?

She belongs to both of us to have custody of her I don't have to be violence to her because it doesn't solve any problem, I want to do things in the right way.

Jmkzb:


She belongs to both of us to have custody of her I don't have to be violence to her because it doesn't solve any problem, I want to do things in the right way.

Whatever suits you.

Wow! Na wa o. You really tried. You still wanted her despite falling preggers for another man under your roof! God didnt make plenty of you o.

By the way, to get your child's custody will be difficult especially since you're not married and can prove that you could adequately care for her. I'm assuming shes about 10yrs now. Get married and sue her to try your luck or patiently wait another 8yrs for her to willingly come to you. Pele...may God bless you with a fair person.

sisisioge:
Wow! Na wa o. You really tried. You still wanted her despite falling preggers for another man under your roof! God didnt make plenty of you o.

By the way, to get your child's custody will be difficult especially since you're not married and can prove that you could adequately care for her. I'm assuming shes about 10yrs now. Get married and sue her to try your luck or patiently wait another 8yrs for her to willingly come to you. Pele...may Gid bless you with a fair person.

Thanks for the advice. I tried to endure for the sake of our daughter, I didn't want her to go through the same thing I went through during my childhood. All I ever wanted for her is to grow up with both of her parents in a happy environment.

To be Frank with you I don't want to remarry again for now marriage is the least thing in my mind. All I wish for is to have my daughter with me, I know it will be hard because I am yet to marry but I have my nephew and niece living with me for the past 6 years now. Please I want to know if Is this not enough proof that I will be able to take care of my daughter alone without being married?

Jmkzb:


Thanks for the advice. I tried to endure for the sake of our daughter, I didn't want her to go through the same thing I went through during my childhood. All I ever wanted for her is to grow up with both of her parents in a happy environment.

To be Frank with you I don't want to remarry again for now marriage is the least thing in my mind. All I wish for is to have my daughter with me, I know it will be hard because I am yet to marry but I have my nephew and niece living with me for the past 6 years now. Please I want to know if Is this not enough proof that I will be able to take care of my daughter alone without being married?

In that case, get a lawyer to advise you. You might have a case there. Good luck.

sisisioge:


In that case, get a lawyer to advise you. You might have a case there. Good luck.

Thank you

How are you sure the girl is yours.

Foodqueen:
How are you sure the girl is yours.

I am sure she is mine or else I wouldn't be fighting for her custody

Jmkzb:
I was once married to this woman whom I had 2 kids with unfortunately we lost our first born at birth and we had only one child left.

She completly changed after the birth of our daughter, she started drinking and coming home late. Her parents were tired and ashamed of her attitudes but she didn't listened to them when they tried to advise her.

After a few years she becomes pregnant again, I knew from the bottom of my hart that I was not responsible for her pregnancy but because I loved her so much and I didn't want a broken home for our daughter because I am a product or a broken home, I have suffered all my life because my parents were busy with their new family while I suffered alone in relatives houses and I didn't want my daughter to become a victim so my prater was if I am responsible for her pregnancy, she will give birth peacefully and if I am not she will suffer during labour and the child must not leave.

God really answered my prayers because I was innocent and she really suffered during labour as death was knocking on her door, she confess that I wasn't responsible for the pregnancy and at the end the child didn't survived.

I told her not to worry that I have forgave her for the sake of our daughter, I paid all the hospital expenses and we went home. We were living fine and I have never for once I suited her or reminded her of what she did to me, but just 2 months after she left with our daughter and went back to her parents. I followed her to her parents begging her to come home but she refused becuase her guilty conscious couldn't allow her to stay in the marriage again but I promise to always be there for our daughter.

It is been 7 years since our separation and I have been paying maintance for my daughter but I had to stop 2 years ago because I have found out that she lied to me about a lot of things. She told me her school fee was 55k per trimester, I was sending her 25k monthly for chime upkeep plus her school fees but I later found out that her echo fee was only 33k per simester and she use the rest of the money to pay for her other son she had with another man.

I wasn't happy that I told her I will never pay for another man child that I want to have custody of my daughter but she refused.

So I haven't send her any kobo neither saw the child for the past 2 years because she won't allow me have contact because I am not paying for her upkeep. I would like to know if is possible for me to take her to court for the custody of my daughter because I don't want her to grow up under her care because she will turn up bad like her mother. Also I will not send her any money again as long she is still staying with her mother. she is 11 this July.

Try and find out the school she attends and pay her school fees directly to the school and keep the tellers

Anything particular about school payments do that yourself

Keep the prove of payments because of tomorrow

Leave the child with her and one day its either the child traces you or she returns the child to you

frozen70:


Try and find out the school she attends and pay her school fees directly to the school and keep the tellers

Anything particular about school payments do that yourself

Keep the prove of payments because of tomorrow

Leave the child with her and one day its either the child traces you or she returns the child to you

Thank you

Jmkzb:


She belongs to both of us to have custody of her I don't have to be violence to her because it doesn't solve any problem, I want to do things in the right way.

right way? Like, fr?

ThiagoKid:
right way? Like, fr?

Yes legally

don't stop caring for your child whilst she is still with the mother. pay her fee directly to her school and keep her teller. reduce the feeding allowance . Any how the mother wants to spend the money is up to her.

that your ex wife dirty gaan. getting pregnant for another man while still married to you to the extent of carrying it to term. tueeh

just get a lawyer who will put you through on how to get your girl's custody. please try and check up on her, she is suffering. please go over and bring gifts along let her grow seeing you around.

Unless you can prove that she's an unfit mother, the parent who has custody of the child during the separation is more likely to get full custody of the child after the divorce (are you even legally divorced?). You can get shared custody, of course, but you would have to involve a Lawyer. You're her parent as much as she is and have the right to see her as much as she does.

She was wrong to have upped the schools fees but not paying her anything for 2-years wasn't a good idea. It's your daughter you were punishing during those 2-years, not the mother. That said, to avoid her upping it again, I totally agree with the suggestion from other posters that you should start paying the school directly from now on, then all there's left to send her is the monthly upkeep for your daughter.

Jmkzb:


I am sure she is mine or else I wouldn't be fighting for her custody

As long as you've been a good father, your daughter will eventually come to you at the right time. And not even her mother can stop her. (Unless she's been a good mother to her)

Just a matter of time...