My younger sister who is 24, is a junior pastor in her church in Ikeja and has a suitor whom she loves and wants to get married to.

My family accepted the man but when my sister told her senior pastor, he said no outrightly without even seeing the guy. His reason was that the guy is not a member of their church. In fact he told my sister to forget about marriage now, that she will start thinking of marriage after two years from now.

The senior pastor is about 33 or 34 years old and not married yet. But about to get married soon. My sister said she is afraid that if she marries the man, she might be suspended as a pastor in the church.

I don't wanT to take sides, please advice

End time pastor

what kinda pastor is that?? getting married, isnt it a good thing? and what say does he have over her life, cus of being her pastor?? wait xev na must to marry church member?? God u watching all this, people claim to serve you but most are fake..i'm not saying i'm a righteous man, but Lord i hope you understand.. your sister is serving God not her snr pastor, saying no cus d suitor aint a member is bullshit!! #in wiz khalifa's voice# mhen fvck that shiiiit! he cant choose her hubby

If Some men were God SMH

What rubbish??how can her pastor tell her not to marry because the man is not a member of their church..sorry to say,..he is an enemy of progress..love has no boundaries and a true christian does not discriminate...pastor dabimosheda.

My dear i have a childhood friend who had d same problem, she was a choir leader in her Church, her GO told her to forget about d guy she wanted to marry and allow God to talk. He said God will talk in a weeks time, after d period of one week God no talk, My friend became a recluse, i told her to pray and ask God to reveal His plan for her which she did, someone came to inform her that she had a dream where My friend marrief d said guy. My friend turned her back on d Church and started worshiping elsewhere, it was later on revealed that d GO wanted My friend guy to start attending his Church and if possible to marry his Niece. My friend is married to d guy and she is blessed with 2 kids, a Boy and a Girl. Even her parents also left d Church.

Modified
Pls encourage ur Sister to seek God face and for God to speak through someone close to her, let her challenge God. HE will answer.

As active as I am in church I am always careful when it comes to pastor issues. Its always a good morning sir relationship.

Unfortunately her pastor holds some sort of spiritual authority but concerning marriage matters her parents have the final say and besides his excuse does not hold water. Its not even because they have prayed about it and God is saying they should hold on, its because he is not a member.

I would advise her to let the issue die down for like two months she shouldn't mention anything about it to her pastor again. If shes has prayed and she is sure about the guy she can get married in her parents church If her parents are not members of that church or get her parents to talk to the pastor that they have given their consent simple and let's see if pastoral consent will supersede parental consent.

I understand the place of spiritual authority but a lot of churches / pastors are making getting married so difficult for people nowadays. Pastors/marriage committee now hold more authority than the parents of the couple.

I thought pastors are the advise/counsel and its left for the Individual to make a choice . The holy spirit doesn't even force people you can decide to ignore(not advisable though).

Its not today people have been getting suspended for getting married to non church members, besides is she not going to follow hubby to his church when she gets married. Why is she then worried about suspension after she marries him or does she hope to continue pastoring in that church?

Pastor may simply want to retain her in the church and one of the easiest ways is by marrying a member (I have heard such before)


If he had joined her in prayer and was skeptical I will understand and will personally advise her to hold on but this one haba not a church member.


A whole lot of things are happening in churches

If your sister is willing to accept the person the way he is she should go ahead. She shouldn't mind that pastor.

The important thing before marriage is to grasps the specifics of every "imperfection." These flaws should not even be seen as capturing a local problem. In a nutshell, no one else may be better. Besides, we are a flawed species.

She is matured enough to make decisions of this sort for herself in the first place.

goldbim:
What rubbish??how can her pastor tell her not to marry because the man is not a member of their church..sorry to say,..he is an enemy of progress..love has no boundaries and a true christian does not discriminate...pastor dabimosheda.

u ar on poin bro

Biko tell us the pastor's name so we'll stay away from him.

Ur sister is far from a christian...

Her utmost worry should be what is God's plan for her nd not pastor's plan.

Her calling is to serve God nd not to please man, if getting married is the wish of God, why then must she listen to man nd claim she is a minister of God.

E be like say ur sister nd the pastor sef nah fake.

Hmmmmmmm am here to read comments because those church people dealt with me when I was about to get married but i thank God for my life.

Most pastors are overstepping their bounds by interfering in family matters, especially marriage.
Who is he to dictate when and who a female, even male, Church member marries?

Our people say that a woman has no Church until she is married.
This is because the lady eventually will, and is expected to, attend the husband's Church.

Unless she does not really love her suitor, otherwise she should leave the Church.
Or is Pastoring in that Church the only thing she can do?

Orishirishi.
Why is your Sister concerned about not being allowed to preach in that Church again, doesn't she have another work?
She should go on with her Wedding in another Church. Maybe the Pastor has been eyeing your sister. Silly excuse

Does your sister worship the pastor or worship God?

Nyceguy92:
Most pastors are overstepping their bounds by interfering in family matters, especially marriage.
Who is he to dictate when and who a female, even male, Church member marries?

Our people say that a woman has no Church until she is married.
This is because the lady eventually will, and is expected to, attend the husband's Church.

Unless she does not really love her suitor, otherwise she should leave the Church.
Or is Pastoring in that Church the only thing she can do?

You said it all. They overstep because people allow them. No doubt there are good pastors anyway. If this pastor had no reason except for the fact that the suitor is not their church member, then this sister should be wise enough to dump him quickly.

uwagimboo:
Ur sister is far from a christian...

Her utmost worry should be what is God's plan for her nd not pastor's plan.

Her calling is to serve God nd not to please man, if getting married is the wish of God, why then must she listen to man nd claim she is a minister of God.

E be like say ur sister nd the pastor sef nah fake.

On point... Exactly my thoughts

DjAndroid:


The senior pastor is about 33 or 34 years old and not married yet. But about to get married soon. My sister said she is afraid that if she marries the man, she might be suspended as a pastor in the church.

I don't wanT to take sides

You don't want to take sides?
You don't want to take sides between your blood sister and her pastor?
So what is your function as her elder brother?
You, your sister and her pastor need brain transplant

DjAndroid:


The senior pastor is about 33 or 34 years old and not married yet. But about to get married soon. My sister said she is afraid that if she marries the man, she might be suspended as a pastor in the church.

I don't wanT to take sides, please advice

Hahaha! Sister is not even worried about marring the wrong person or someone outside God's will, she is more concerned about losing her precious pastor position. I hope it is a full time paid job.

If your sister is convinced about the guy she should pls continue with her marriage plans. Pastor telling her not to marry a guy because he's not a member of the church doesn't make any sense at all. I've realized some pastors are only concerned about the number of weddings that take place in their churches and not how many marriages turn out to be successful. Once she gets married she's on her own no pastor cares to pray for you continuously even if they were the ones that adviced you to marry someone. Marriage should be a personal decision pls

Did you say her senior pastor is not married? pastor and pastor mrs wedding loading.

uwagimboo:
Ur sister is far from a christian...

Her utmost worry should be what is God's plan for her nd not pastor's plan.

Her calling is to serve God nd not to please man, if getting married is the wish of God, why then must she listen to man nd claim she is a minister of God.

E be like say ur sister nd the pastor sef nah fake.

This is exactly what I told her.

elektra:


You don't want to take sides?
You don't want to take sides between your blood sister and her pastor?
So what is your function as her elder brother?
You, your sister and her pastor need brain transplant

I know where I stand but I want to other people's opinions before I let my stand known. But most comments here are already my stand.

tabithababy:
Did you say her senior pastor is not married? pastor and pastor mrs wedding loading.

She said he is about to get married soon.

Ruemufaith:
If your sister is convinced about the guy she should pls continue with her marriage plans. Pastor telling her not to marry a guy because he's not a member of the church doesn't make any sense at all. I've realized some pastors are only concerned about the number of weddings that take place in their churches and not how many marriages turn out to be successful. Once she gets married she's on her own no pastor cares to pray for you continuously even if they were the ones that adviced you to marry someone. Marriage should be a personal decision pls

In fact I'm tired about my sister sef. She is very willing to marry the guy but puts her pastor's will first instead of the will of God.

na una wey gt strength to go meet pastor for approval bfor marriage ns

This is the result of people serve the men of God instead of the God Himself.

Your sister a junior Pastor cannot pray on her own to hear from God concerning her marriage; she is not afraid to marry outside the will of God/ wrongly; She is not afraid she is not marrying according to God's calender; She is afraid because her senior pastor may suspend her.

Step one: your sister needs to get closer to God then she will know the next step to take.

I am a minister of God and is bold enuf to say wat d pastor is saying and doing is arrant nonsense. Where is it written in d bible dat u must marry somebody frm ur denomination? When did it became compulsory to ensure dat every intending couple shld be a member of ur church? Ur sister needs to be aware dat d pastor has no authority to decide who she marries but GOD. D prblm here is dat ur sister is more worried abt her post as an asst pastor she didnt do her homework well. She is a pastor but fails to seek d face of God before choosing. She need to prayerfully seek and wait on God and if He gives d go ahead she is good to go. If she leaves d guy she is courting because of wat d pastor says, den she shld be ready to be d pastors wife or d wife of somebody chosen by d pastor and i knw dis is nt d will of God

DjAndroid:


This is exactly what I told her.

Some pastors re just too canal.
Remember one trying to stop my brothers wife then, the underlying issue then was that he wanted someone else for the gal being that she is also an assistant pastor.

There re pastors and there are Pastor, we should be conscious of which we hang on to..

bukatyne:
l

Your sister a junior Pastor cannot pray on her own to hear from God concerning her marriage; she is not afraid to marry outside the will of God/ wrongly; She is not afraid she is not marrying according to God's calender; She is afraid because her senior pastor may suspend her.

Step one: your sister needs to get closer to God then she will know the next step to take.

1000likes
Of all the things to be bothered about its suspension.





Back to topic:
This matter is a trend that I feel its dangerous that's going on in churches.

Some are bothered about the number of weddings that hold in their church so they subtly encourage female members to marry church member maybe its to increase the count of weddings held in that branch

If you are a young lady active in church working for God, some will want to retain you in church and the easiest way is to marry you off to a member.

One has to be able to hear from God herself else some of these church people will just lead one to the wrong path for selfish reasons.

If finally one can cross the hurdles then the wedding day another matter.

God will help us.

most ppl will not like my comment at all, but then, I don't say wat ppl want to hear. ur sister isn't just a member or leader, she is a Pastor. at this juncture, her choices must succumb to what the spirit of God wants her to do.you must understand she is an ordained pastor,she is on a journey. imagine God allowing moses to be in d wilderness for 40 yrs training him for how he will lead d Israelites without him knowing. ppl wld HV said today, my friend u no go marry,dey der dey do .... my point, UR SISTErs ministry as a, pastor shldnt be taken lightly.pls don't interfere as this is a sacred matter. in my opinion, as a Pastor, she shld marry from d ministry she is in, to avoid her abandoning Gods call upon her life, by d time

d guy starts saying stop this stop that. at d end, ur sister will not be fulfilled. I think I knw d church ur sister is in. before her pastor says such, he doesn't need to see d man first, d holy Ghost knows all things. she is 24_ there is nothing wrong if she waits a bit longer to find d man God finds suitable for her. any one who quotes me is on his/her own. i don't care.

The only time your pastor should know you are getting married, is when you give him an invite, I don't understand how a pastor can tell one who to marry, makes no sense.