₦airaland Forum

LilMissFavvy:
After you discovered your ex wife tells lies and collects too much money from you, you should have simply reduced the amount of money you give her, rather than stop giving money for your daughter's upkeep. You should not let your daughter suffer because of the sins of the mother. If your ex wife doesn't have a stable source of income, then it means she's living off the pockets of men, and that's a very bad atmosphere for your daughter. The child is better off staying with her mother, but you should start giving the mother child support, and tell her you want to be seeing your child. If she refuses then you can go to court so that they give you visitation rights.

Not always true.

Blessingisrael:
don't stop caring for your child whilst she is still with the mother. pay her fee directly to her school and keep her teller. reduce the feeding allowance . Any how the mother wants to spend the money is up to her.

that your ex wife dirty gaan. getting pregnant for another man while still married to you to the extent of carrying it to term. tueeh

just get a lawyer who will put you through on how to get your girl's custody. please try and check up on her, she is suffering. please go over and bring gifts along let her grow seeing you around.

Thank you

aroundtheearth:
Unless you can prove that she's an unfit mother, the parent who has custody of the child during the separation is more likely to get full custody of the children after the divorce (are you even legally divorced?). You can get shared custody, of course, but you would have to involve a Lawyer. You're her parent as much as she is and have the right to see her as much as she does.

She was wrong to have upped the schools fees but not paying her anything for 2-years wasn't a good idea. It's your daughter you were punishing during those 2-years, not the mother. That said, to avoid her upping it again, I totally agree with the suggestion from other posters that you should start paying the school directly from now on, then all there's left to send her is the monthly upkeep for your daughter.

Yes we are legally divorced. Thank you

mariahAngel:
As long as you've been a good father, your daughter will eventually come to you at the right time, and not even her mother can stop her. (Unless she's been a good mother to her)

Just a matter of time...

Thank you

Klass99:
You need to stop listening to and believing the BS you wrote here! How exactly is she better off with her mother? What makes you think she won't be better off with you?

People erroneously assume that women who have children are good women and good mothers who will never hurt or do wrong to their offspring - this is not true. You think mother/motherhood is synonymous with saint, abi?

Is she not using the child as her personal meal ticket and for financial support to run other aspects of her life? I don't think she has kept the child out of "motherly love" but out of a selfish desire to have you pay the bills for all of them and fund her lifestyle.

A guy I know personally fought for custody of his 3 kids and was awarded custody by the court here in Nigeria o! There are sensible judges who are not swayed by the sentimental BS that children are better off with their mothers, such judges look at the facts of who is more capable/competent to handle the welfare of the child.

In my acquaintance's case his ex-wife didn't have a verifiable or sustainable source of income (and hadn't had one in a long time) the judge didn't waste time in awarding custody to the parent with the financial ability to cater for their welfare. I don't know how old the kids were @ the time, but he got custody and worked out a living arrangement with his mum and female cousins who help with the domestic side of things @ home because of his work/job.

Abeg no dey dull yourself o! Do your homework, speak with a competent lawyer and find out what your chances are of winning custody. I repeat, how exactly is she better off with her mother?

Thank you

Happy Sunday guys. I want to thank you all for the advices and I really appreciate it.
Just a quick update on my daughter, she is with me now. I have also seek for advise from elders about the custody of my daughter. One of my elder have advised me to go and meet my ex wife parents first before taking the matter to court, to discuss about the custody of the child so they can talk to my ex wife to handle the child to me and yesterday I traveled to my ex parents house. I met her mother and when she saw me she started crying thanking God for answering her prayers . They welcomed me very well and she have told me that my ex has left for Abuja since December 2019 with her 3 months old baby and she left behind the other 2 children my daughter and her son with her parents and she also claim she hasn't call them for 8 months now, her number is unreachable. She has said a lot of things which I can't discussed it here because it's personal but she was happy that I have come back for my child because she couldn't cater for both of them, she is been praying to God to touch my heart so I can come to collect my child and at the end I got my daughter back. She is here with me now and I will give her the best life ever.

Klass99:
Oh nice, I'm glad about the update and your good news. Though my amebo ears are itching to hear the rest of the story which you didn't share . But don't mind me

I think you meant December 2020 and not December 2019 right? Cos if she left the kids with her mum since December 2019 something must be seriously wrong, but December 2020 makes more sense to me.

God save us from useless children who don't want to be responsible in their adulthood. How can you burden your aged parents with your responsibilities (kids), after they raised you and should be resting/cruising in their old age?

I hope your mother-in-law's story serves as a learning point for people who are quick to suggest that a child born out wedlock by a side chic, should be handed over to the adulterous man's mother or sister.

Old people need a break in this life and shouldn't be stressed with cleaning up the mess of their adult children. Thank God for answered prayers on mama's behalf walahi.

If only you knew, you would have gone their sooner to get your child. Have you been in touch with your ex in the period of time her mum claims she has been unreasonable?

Thanks so much. Lol I can't share it on here because it's family secret that her mother has confided in me. Her mother said she left December 2019 and the last time I spoke with her on the phone was August 2019 she called me because she didn't see any money on her account so I have told I will not longer send the money to her because I want to have the custody of my child and that was the last time. I regrets to have abandon her but I swear if I knew that my daughter was with her grandparents I would have collected her long time ago but I am so happy to have her back now.

Jmkzb:
I was once married to this woman whom I had 2 kids with unfortunately we lost our first born at birth and we had only one child left.

She completly changed after the birth of our daughter, she started drinking and coming home late. Her parents were tired and ashamed of her attitudes but she didn't listened to them when they tried to advise her.

After a few years she becomes pregnant again, I knew from the bottom of my hart that I was not responsible for her pregnancy but because I loved her so much and I didn't want a broken home for our daughter because I am a product or a broken home, I have suffered all my life because my parents were busy with their new family while I suffered alone in relatives houses and I didn't want my daughter to become a victim so my prater was if I am responsible for her pregnancy, she will give birth peacefully and if I am not she will suffer during labour and the child must not leave.

God really answered my prayers because I was innocent and she really suffered during labour as death was knocking on her door, she confess that I wasn't responsible for the pregnancy and at the end the child didn't survived.

I told her not to worry that I have forgave her for the sake of our daughter, I paid all the hospital expenses and we went home. We were living fine and I have never for once I suited her or reminded her of what she did to me, but just 2 months after she left with our daughter and went back to her parents. I followed her to her parents begging her to come home but she refused becuase her guilty conscious couldn't allow her to stay in the marriage again but I promise to always be there for our daughter.

It is been 7 years since our separation and I have been paying maintance for my daughter but I had to stop 2 years ago because I have found out that she lied to me about a lot of things. She told me her school fee was 55k per trimester, I was sending her 25k monthly for chime upkeep plus her school fees but I later found out that her echo fee was only 33k per simester and she use the rest of the money to pay for her other son she had with another man.

I wasn't happy that I told her I will never pay for another man child that I want to have custody of my daughter but she refused.

So I haven't send her any kobo neither saw the child for the past 2 years because she won't allow me have contact because I am not paying for her upkeep. I would like to know if is possible for me to take her to court for the custody of my daughter because I don't want her to grow up under her care because she will turn up bad like her mother. Also I will not send her any money again as long she is still staying with her mother. she is 11 this July.

Can't you pay the fees yourself?

.

Hmm....the family court should be involved and all parties concerned present their case.

Ihateliaars:
U r a fucking liar James okeke woman beater and pedophile B4 u came wiv ur lie u shld have make sure dat nobody can recognise u here bt no u dcd 2 play d victim and lies against her don't worry I will expose all ur evil doing by d time I finish u will look 4 were 2 hide jst wait and see. First u never loved her u married her 2 destroy her cos u hated her so much u married her 2 destroy her life cos u never loved her, why didn't u tell people here  how u started beating her after 3 weeks of marriage she lost her tooth, u banned her 4rm seeing her parents nor calling dem, u beat her wen she was 5 - 6 months pregnant in front of her moda and when her moda tried 2 rescue her u slapped her and threw her out of ur house at 10pm in 2008 u relocate to a far place so nobody could see her again, d first baby die due to the beating u gave her dat wasn't enough u gave her more beating afta even during d second pregnancy u beat and lock her up d house if it wasn't for neighbor intervention only God knows what was going to happen to her dat day, u starved her, u didn't take care of her she was only 23 den bt she ageing like a old woman lookig 50 plus  , u have been sleeping around wiv all d ashawo in ur neighborhood all d female at ur office u Bleep all of dem u never buy her a pin because ur money was good only to spend on ashawo, d day she gave birth 2  ur daughter u didn't sleep at home ur fone was off all nite  it was d neighbours who rush her to d hospital she gave birth at 3am bt u didn't know until 11am because u were busy fucking ashawo and instead of u 2 rush 2 d hospital 2 visit u didn't come until 5pm and u beat her 20 days afta d baby just because she caught u wiv her cousin 15 years in bed d girl came 2 help with househelp she send d girl back and u told ur in laws dey are free to report u anywhere but dey have 2 know dat nobody has d power 2 arrest u, dey got scared cos dey r poor and overlook it, u continue with d abuse she left u wen d baby was 2 years old and went bk 2 her parents u never for once cum looking 4 her not even for once send any maintance 4 d daughter u pretending 2 love so much it was her parents who had suffer 4 d child wellbeing why u were busy with ashawo bt we didn't care weter u send money or not all dat matter was she came bk 2 us alive and we were so happy 2 see her happy again she was glowing and looking happy she met anoda guy why u were not 2geda she didn't get pregnant while she was still in ur house bt u lied here dat she got pregnant why u were 2geda it was when she went bk 2 her parents she move on and met d guy she got pregnant 4 him unfortunately d guy die in a accident, u den came out of nowhere begging her 2 come back 2 u wich we were all against her going bk 2 u nobody accepted u in d family u beg and promise her heaven on earth u knew she was carrying anoda man baby bt u have accepted her wiv d pregnancy and she was very stupid 2 believe ur lies and return bk wiv u, u know wat her parents said 2 her angrily especially her fada said 2 her cos she better stay wiv u for better 4 worse so if d worse come she should stay wiv u and die der, u promised dem dey will never b any worse bt u did worse 2 her u beat her during d pregnancy even worse Dan her previous pregnancy cos d pregnancy didn't belong 2 u, and wen she ask u 4 d money 2go 2 d hospital cos she didn't feel her baby movement bt u refuse to give her 1 kobo and she had to borrow 2 go 2 d hospital 4rm dere she found out d baby has died in d womb, and why r u lying here da u pray 4 d baby will not survive and she confess d baby was not urs big lie she didn't confess anything cos u knew she was pregnant and u accepted her in her condition, u didn't pay any hospital bills 4 her it was her brother dat paid it, it was him who came and took her out of ur horror houx 2 months afta birth cos u started abusing her again she stayed in her bro house she was having difficulty 2 get a job and her bro wife didn't want her and her daughter in her houx cos she couldn't go bk 2 her parents cos her fada disowned her she was very stupid 2 call u begging u 4 upkeep money u have agreed 2 give her 2k monthly wiv one condition u should sleep wiv her first she stupidly agreed cos she was hopeless and u never 4 once send her upto 5k but u lied dat u was sending her 25k plus 55k 4 skul fees 4rm where da girl went 2 government skul paid by her uncle, u never 4 once paid skul fee 4 her d boy u r denying he is ur biological son u Ave d money 4 dna bt u refuse to conduct one bt remember one day d truth will cum out, u r pained cos she is married and doing well wiv her new husband u wanted her 2 suffer bt God conquer u and ur evil plan didn't work, u don't want 2 rmarry cos u been fucking ur 18 years old niece who is pregnant 4 u and u think we don't know d reason u wanted custody of d child cos u want to turn her 2 a sex slave jus de same thing u r doing wiv ur niece and nephew don't worry we are not afraid of u we ave reported abduction 2 d police dey will cum 4 u and u will rot in jail soon

.

Oh my God, this is serious @Jmkzb , is this true?? Beating a pregnant woman.....

Op, we are waiting for you to deny all these allegations

.

Jmkzb:
Thanks so much. Lol I can't share it on here because it's family secret that her mother has confided in me. Her mother said she left December 2019 and the last time I spoke with her on the phone was August 2019 she called me because she didn't see any money on her account so I have told I will not longer send the money to her because I want to have the custody of my child and that was the last time. I regrets to have abandon her but I swear if I knew that my daughter was with her grandparents I would have collected her long time ago but I am so happy to have her back now.

Good afternoon.... Did you see all the allegations against you what do you have to say about it??

BKsoul:
Good afternoon.... Did you see all the allegations against you what do you have to say about it??

Please don't mind the troll, all the allegations levelled against me are false and fabricated. She has done the same thing on  my Facebook page trying to tarnished me which I have totally ignored her. I am not the beast she described here, I am not prefect but I have never lay my hands on her. assuming all the allegations were correct and why am I still a free man. Don't you think I should have been in prison?

Jmkzb:
Please don't mind the troll, all the allegations levelled against me are false and fabricated. She has done the same thing on  my Facebook page trying to tarnished me which I have totally ignored her. I am not the beast she described here, I am not prefect but I have never lay my hands on her. assuming all the allegations were correct and why am I still a free man. Don't you think I should have been in prison?

is that your ex wife? or someone else?

Jmkzb:
Please don't mind the troll, all the allegations levelled against me are false and fabricated. She has done the same thing on  my Facebook page trying to tarnished me which I have totally ignored her. I am not the beast she described here, I am not prefect but I have never lay my hands on her. assuming all the allegations were correct and why am I still a free man. Don't you think I should have been in prison?

is your name james okeke how did the person know its you just from this story

.

Ihateliaars:
Yes I was patiently waiting 4 u 2 reply me so I can expose u more James okeke stop lying it will not make u a billionaire u knows it very well dat u r a beast, woman beater, pervert, liar, rapist, you are not in prison cos her parents were poor 2 send ur ass 2 prison bt now dey have confided 2 us we will do everything possible 2 send ur ass 2 prison for violence and killing 2 unborn babies, raping uche a minor, raping ur own niece and pregnaged her, for kidnapping and beating her parents and landing her fada 2 d hospital don't worry soon u will go and die in prison u are a heartless man, yes I agreed dat I wrote d long messages in ur Facebook 2 let ur friends know d oda ugly side of u a beast da u r, am warning u don't even try 2 rape chiamanda cos ur small penis will rot maggots will come out 4rm it if u try it on her cos u are a pro on getting custody of small children in ur family so u can turn dem into ur sex slave same u did wiv ur niece uche if I am lying so y did u removed all ur photos 4rm ur Facebook yesterday evening bt let me inform u I have saved dem already in my phone and I will post it here too jsut wait and see i am not finish yet am charging my phone and I wil come bk 4 u soon idiot

na wa ooo... Please are you the ex wife?

.

Jmkzb:
Please don't mind the troll, all the allegations levelled against me are false and fabricated. She has done the same thing on  my Facebook page trying to tarnished me which I have totally ignored her. I am not the beast she described here, I am not prefect but I have never lay my hands on her. assuming all the allegations were correct and why am I still a free man. Don't you think I should have been in prison?

. Mr James... Let me ask you again, did your ex father willingly gave you your daughter or you forcefully collected your daughter

Your story has many loopholes because you said you have collected your daughter just some days after you posted your story Someone you abandoned for years...


In summary, you went to kidnap your daughter so you can be having sex with your daughter

.

It's only imaturity/inexperience that would make anyone feel that an adolescent girl or baby girl is better off staying with the dad in a situation where the parents are divorced. We read news daily and we see things happen, father's and relatives raping their daughters, pastors and imams raping the girl chil, then blaming the devil. I am not saying all father's can commit such crime, but fact remains that PREVENTION IS BETTER THAN CURE. A girl child should at least reach 18YRS and above before she lives alone with any single male relative or even her father. At that age she has greater ability to speak up if she is abused. Why would any adult expect that an adolescent girl who is undergoing physical and psychological changes is better off with the father? Would she feel comfortable discussing girly stuffs with him? Is it not better the mother caters for the child, while father sends his support and shares custody as well. It marvels me o. If the message I quoted is true, then it means the OP is supposed to be behind bars by now.

Ihateliaars:
U r a fucking liar James okeke woman beater and pedophile B4 u came wiv ur lie u shld have make sure dat nobody can recognise u here bt no u dcd 2 play d victim and lies against her don't worry I will expose all ur evil doing by d time I finish u will look 4 were 2 hide jst wait and see. First u never loved her u married her 2 destroy her cos u hated her so much u married her 2 destroy her life cos u never loved her, why didn't u tell people here  how u started beating her after 3 weeks of marriage she lost her tooth, u banned her 4rm seeing her parents nor calling dem, u beat her wen she was 5 - 6 months pregnant in front of her moda and when her moda tried 2 rescue her u slapped her and threw her out of ur house at 10pm in 2008 u relocate to a far place so nobody could see her again, d first baby die due to the beating u gave her dat wasn't enough u gave her more beating afta even during d second pregnancy u beat and lock her up d house if it wasn't for neighbor intervention only God knows what was going to happen to her dat day, u starved her, u didn't take care of her she was only 23 den bt she ageing like a old woman lookig 50 plus  , u have been sleeping around wiv all d ashawo in ur neighborhood all d female at ur office u Bleep all of dem u never buy her a pin because ur money was good only to spend on ashawo, d day she gave birth 2  ur daughter u didn't sleep at home ur fone was off all nite  it was d neighbours who rush her to d hospital she gave birth at 3am bt u didn't know until 11am because u were busy fucking ashawo and instead of u 2 rush 2 d hospital 2 visit u didn't come until 5pm and u beat her 20 days afta d baby just because she caught u wiv her cousin 15 years in bed d girl came 2 help with househelp she send d girl back and u told ur in laws dey are free to report u anywhere but dey have 2 know dat nobody has d power 2 arrest u, dey got scared cos dey r poor and overlook it, u continue with d abuse she left u wen d baby was 2 years old and went bk 2 her parents u never for once cum looking 4 her not even for once send any maintance 4 d daughter u pretending 2 love so much it was her parents who had suffer 4 d child wellbeing why u were busy with ashawo bt we didn't care weter u send money or not all dat matter was she came bk 2 us alive and we were so happy 2 see her happy again she was glowing and looking happy she met anoda guy why u were not 2geda she didn't get pregnant while she was still in ur house bt u lied here dat she got pregnant why u were 2geda it was when she went bk 2 her parents she move on and met d guy she got pregnant 4 him unfortunately d guy die in a accident, u den came out of nowhere begging her 2 come back 2 u wich we were all against her going bk 2 u nobody accepted u in d family u beg and promise her heaven on earth u knew she was carrying anoda man baby bt u have accepted her wiv d pregnancy and she was very stupid 2 believe ur lies and return bk wiv u, u know wat her parents said 2 her angrily especially her fada said 2 her cos she better stay wiv u for better 4 worse so if d worse come she should stay wiv u and die der, u promised dem dey will never b any worse bt u did worse 2 her u beat her during d pregnancy even worse Dan her previous pregnancy cos d pregnancy didn't belong 2 u, and wen she ask u 4 d money 2go 2 d hospital cos she didn't feel her baby movement bt u refuse to give her 1 kobo and she had to borrow 2 go 2 d hospital 4rm dere she found out d baby has died in d womb, and why r u lying here da u pray 4 d baby will not survive and she confess d baby was not urs big lie she didn't confess anything cos u knew she was pregnant and u accepted her in her condition, u didn't pay any hospital bills 4 her it was her brother dat paid it, it was him who came and took her out of ur horror houx 2 months afta birth cos u started abusing her again she stayed in her bro house she was having difficulty 2 get a job and her bro wife didn't want her and her daughter in her houx cos she couldn't go bk 2 her parents cos her fada disowned her she was very stupid 2 call u begging u 4 upkeep money u have agreed 2 give her 2k monthly wiv one condition u should sleep wiv her first she stupidly agreed cos she was hopeless and u never 4 once send her upto 5k but u lied dat u was sending her 25k plus 55k 4 skul fees 4rm where da girl went 2 government skul paid by her uncle, u never 4 once paid skul fee 4 her d boy u r denying he is ur biological son u Ave d money 4 dna bt u refuse to conduct one bt remember one day d truth will cum out, u r pained cos she is married and doing well wiv her new husband u wanted her 2 suffer bt God conquer u and ur evil plan didn't work, u don't want 2 rmarry cos u been fucking ur 18 years old niece who is pregnant 4 u and u think we don't know d reason u wanted custody of d child cos u want to turn her 2 a sex slave jus de same thing u r doing wiv ur niece and nephew don't worry we are not afraid of u we ave reported abduction 2 d police dey will cum 4 u and u will rot in jail soon

Jmkzb:
I was once married to this woman whom I had 2 kids with unfortunately we lost our first born at birth and we had only one child left.

She completly changed after the birth of our daughter, she started drinking and coming home late. Her parents were tired and ashamed of her attitudes but she didn't listened to them when they tried to advise her.

After a few years she becomes pregnant again, I knew from the bottom of my hart that I was not responsible for her pregnancy but because I loved her so much and I didn't want a broken home for our daughter because I am a product or a broken home, I have suffered all my life because my parents were busy with their new family while I suffered alone in relatives houses and I didn't want my daughter to become a victim so my prater was if I am responsible for her pregnancy, she will give birth peacefully and if I am not she will suffer during labour and the child must not leave.

God really answered my prayers because I was innocent and she really suffered during labour as death was knocking on her door, she confess that I wasn't responsible for the pregnancy and at the end the child didn't survived.

I told her not to worry that I have forgave her for the sake of our daughter, I paid all the hospital expenses and we went home. We were living fine and I have never for once I suited her or reminded her of what she did to me, but just 2 months after she left with our daughter and went back to her parents. I followed her to her parents begging her to come home but she refused becuase her guilty conscious couldn't allow her to stay in the marriage again but I promise to always be there for our daughter.

It is been 7 years since our separation and I have been paying maintance for my daughter but I had to stop 2 years ago because I have found out that she lied to me about a lot of things. She told me her school fee was 55k per trimester, I was sending her 25k monthly for chime upkeep plus her school fees but I later found out that her echo fee was only 33k per simester and she use the rest of the money to pay for her other son she had with another man.

I wasn't happy that I told her I will never pay for another man child that I want to have custody of my daughter but she refused.

So I haven't send her any kobo neither saw the child for the past 2 years because she won't allow me have contact because I am not paying for her upkeep. I would like to know if is possible for me to take her to court for the custody of my daughter because I don't want her to grow up under her care because she will turn up bad like her mother. Also I will not send her any money again as long she is still staying with her mother. she is 11 this July.

I can't give you full legal advice here.

I will give you on pro bono servvice

you can contact me if you wish to

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you have lost everything. just move on. and never look back. get a new girl and have children. or you are unable to have kids? and how are you even sure the is biologically yours.

What proof do you have to show that the things you said about the OP is true? Whatever the case, the child should be taken to her grandparent's or mother.

Ihateliaars:
What legal advice will u give 2 a kidnapper and rapist like him

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