₦airaland Forum

Ishilove:
What is ODESAN gangan?

Ishilove:
What is ODESAN gangan?

Crossroad1:
I DON'T KNOW BECAUSE OF WHOM AM WRITING THIS, BUT I HOPE PEOPLE LEARN A THING OR TWO FROM IT..

Being a redpiller is not a bad idea cos some women need iron hands to deal with if not, dem go turn you to simp but out there, you can still get a woman who will match whatever you have in mind only it might be very Rare.

My life started in the late 80's and my father was a very fortunate man.. When I clocked a year old, he bought a bicycle for me and then, it was like buying an expensive toy car or bike for your kids in this dispensation.
He was also a sharp shooter.. I am the first born and I take 8months senior my sister.. She use 1yr 10months senior 3rd born and third born use 3yrs senior 4th born.. 4th born use 10yrs senior 5th born..
He was first a bus driver before fortune smiled on him and he became a cocoa dealer and in some months, he was able to travel out to Austria..
Now, my father disvirgined my mom and I was the product..

But something happened in my father's family, they used his sister as (ODESAN) it's an akoko term and to my understanding, it means her sister married from her mother's family, it's more like a tradition.. I don't know but it seems like a bad thing cos my father get aggressive anytime he remembers this cos he said they suffered her sister while there.. Now my mum happens to come from the area where my dad's sister did ODESAN.. He was young then and maybe observed all evil did to her.. I don't know but that's what he said later in life..

My father traveled and in 3 years, he was sending in cars then and they sell it and send the money back to him after deducting some for all family members..
The biz was booming but 5yrs later, he was back in the country and he said it was my mother's mom that used juju to bring her back into the country.. That's offense no 2 for my naive mom.. Offense no 1 is they used her aunt for ODESAN in my mom's district..
Let me use island for example.. Lekki and ajah are both in island but not far from each other so let's say my mom is from ajah and my dad is from lekki and they used his aunt as ODESAN in ajah so he had hatred for ajah people..I wonder why he married from there. (this didn't happen in Lagos though).

Aside traditional wedding and introduction, till my mom's parent died, shishi dem no see from my pman.
Before he left naija, he Sabi womanize small, like dated 3women while married.
My dad senior my mum with 10 solid years. He was 28yrs and my mom was just a local 18yrs old girl. My dad was already making cool money at 26,he bought his first pickup at 26,bought his second ride a bus at 27 and traveled out at 33..

When baba came back after 5yrs, there are news of infidelity waiting for him.. While he was away, any man that came visiting was a man friend but I know my mom.. Each time we go from akoko to owo to make phone call then, she go dey kneel down dey follow pman talk, I was little so I didn't really know what's up.
I can vouch for my mum cos she was hardworking.. Taking care of 3kids and a pregnancy, while he was away, shuttling from Lagos to onitcha to akoko buying ready made clothes and reselling, she was very hardworking..
So when pupsy came back, so many things were said and my mom had to follow him to swear with ayelala that it was all lie but I guess cos of the hatred he had for his district people, he didn't believe. She swore in 3 diff places..
So we moved from akoko to akure and pman's true color started showing..
He started about 3 businesses that was doing fine and baba was investing in women and by now, we the kids too started feeling the heat.. We were going to one of the best school but na we owe school fees pass..
Baba even dey carry woman go abroad go knack..

My mum started dancing at cultural center akure with some groups to welcome important dignitaries.. She gathered money to register for Abe Ile nursing. When she was done, because my mum's people came to her freedom ceremony, baba was present..
He was able to rent a shop for her and stock it with medicines.. So they both contributed money and bought their second land.. 60/40,mumsy contributed 60% of the money..
After building the house,it was a 6 bedroom. He just floored 3 rooms and traveled again with his ashana to Dubai to enjoy life but before this, there were lots of gbas gbos from him to my mum. Any small mistake, it was gbas gbos with anything he can lay his hands on..

There is a mark at my back where I took a stool he threw at my mom even when she was 9months pregnant,it was this day I learnt they used his sister as ODESAN, he was crying when he said this..
I am not that stable at home, I was shuttling between boarding school, Egbon's house on holidays and our rented apartment sometimes.. My mum gave birth to our last born the following days.. I wept all through, from the house to the hospital.
He didn't take her there.
After birth, my mom was determined to better her life..
Pupsy traveled out with her ashana and Mumsy was left to fend for 5kids alone.
By this time, I had finished sec school so I moved permanently to Lagos to stay with Egbon.

Mumsy moved my siblings to our uncompleted house cos the landlord was already on her neck.. No windows, just entrance door, kitchen door, 3 cemented rooms and nothing.. She used mosquito nets and trampolines to cover each window and na short put dem dey do for there cos there were still bushes around the house..
No family members to help her except small small change I was sending from the hotel job I was doing in Lagos as a barman and waiter, was taking 2 salaries cos of both jobs..

Abeg I go continue tomorrow, this is making me emotional as am typing and it is still a bit lengthy..
Ps: pls am gonna beg everyone.. These are my parents, I purposely didn't put that it happened to some people, it happened to me and pls don't blame anyone yet, I just want both male and female to learn from this story, it might shape some people and make some have a rethink about their actions so pls no insult whatsoever biko...

Wow!!!!
Yo story is similar to mine.....
First born was 9year,2nd born 5yrs and me just 3month wen my useless dad left.....

I never benefited anything from him.....either monetary,materialy nor words of advise.......

My mum trained/supported hugly hm in university to see him become a doctor........

He became one and never came back to us........thank God mum was a civil servant probably we all would have been dropout.......

My singlehandedly trained and sponsor our education from pre pry school to university level.......

Collected loans to fly to out our first born abroad.......just to better our lives

Mum........never remarried tho I wonder how she controlled her sexual urge.........

My own painment is that she hasn't eaten much fruit of her labor.........and she ageing pretty fast......55 already

As for my dad.........He's back broke and dirty Ooo.......he got his certificate revoked......

ahnie:
I think op's beak has broken,why he dey address him Papa sister as his papA aunt and addresses his pman as her.


I no understand the lamba atall.
Modified....Please the father should park well and maintain his lane.that woman has gone Tru alot and should be left to enjoy her peace.
What a courageous, hard-working woman.
Honestly she's the real MVP.

FairlyUSEDpussy:
Wow!!!!
Yo story is similar to mine.....
First born was 9year,2nd born 5yrs and me just 3month wen my useless dad left.....

I never benefited anything from him.....either monetary,materialy nor words of advise.......

My mum trained/supported hugly hm in university to see him become a doctor........

He became one and never came back to us........thank God mum was a civil servant probably we all would have been dropout.......

My singlehandedly trained and sponsor our education from pre pry school to university level.......

Collected loans to fly to out our first born abroad.......just to better our lives

Mum........never remarried tho I wonder how she controlled her sexual urge.........

My own painment is that she hasn't eaten much fruit of her labor.........and she ageing pretty fast......55 already

As for my dad.........He's back broke and dirty Ooo.......he got his certificate revoked......

bukatyne:
Odesan means 'home is good' or 'no please like home' sort of.

A man marries the first daughter(s) of his sisters or very close relatives.

If his parents are from different villages, he can marry very close relatives from either parents' village.

The whole idea is the daughter (s) especially first marrying a man very very close in the family tree.

NoToPile:
Hmmm first time I am hearing of this.

Is this still common nowadays in Ondo state?

bukatyne:
Odesan means 'home is good' or 'no please like home' sort of.

A man marries the first daughter(s) of his sisters or very close relatives.

If his parents are from different villages, he can marry very close relatives from either parents' village.

The whole idea is the daughter (s) especially first marrying a man very very close in the family tree.

bukatyne:
Our ancestors were very 'colourful'

No, it is an old practice.

Crossroad1:
you Sabi this thing Sha, are you from ondo state?

bukatyne:
Yes, Akoko and my mom told me about it.

nnamdiosu:
Nice one op. Na man you be.
I love how you were so honest in detailing your story and you even took responsibility for the thing you did back then at the hotel.

You didn't blame the situation or anyone, mennnnnn...truly, na man you be abeg.

You see ehn, what happened to Popsi is the same thing that happens and will keep on happening to many men. Many many.

That feeling that you are don chinchin, especially when they have money or strength.
The oppress their kids or wives . Neglect bonding with kids, feeling money can subsitute. And when old age comes, people begin to say, what a nice old man. His children are wicked.

I tell everyone, we reap what we sow. Good or bad.
You can't live a bondless life with your kids and when they grow up, begin to tell them ...call me na, come and visit me na etc. How na?

All I'll say is this...

Momsi should forgive Popsi, it doesn't mean she is going back to him. It's just to free her conscience before God. (But don't tell her o, make curse no come abeg)

Just dey try sort Popsi continuously as you dey do. At least make his pain ease small.

You suppose write a book of this history. E get why.

Lastly, the God way see you through, make he continue guiding you.
God bless you and your family. Amen

socialmediaman:
Nice story OP. I think the curse your mother laid on him isn't why he's poor and helpless. It's his life choices. He owes people millions, he lost his priceless family, he closed doors and burned bridges along his path so he has nobody. Anyone else who follows exactly his path will end up in the same place, curse or not. If na curse hurricane for don carry all our politicians enter river Niger

One more thing. The grudge your mom had for him, plus her children, gave her (and all of you) strength and resolve to be successful. While she may not need the burden of the grudge anymore, I think she's not yet ready to let go so you should support her and give her time to let go when she's ready.

This should be a lesson to everyone. No matter who and where you are in life, continue to open doors with your relationships, always think through your life choices and their consequences, and don't mess with the most priceless people in the world, the people who love you, especially your family.

Crossroad1:
she forgave him many years ago now, still send him small change at times.. Na pupsy want comeback o, he want to be a man and knowing him, he is enticed with everything she has and if she let him in her life again, he will want to dominate everything and assume control.. We should never eat our cake and have it

nnamdiosu:
I totally agree. I never knew she was even sending him small change sef. She really tried.

Funniest thing is, strange as it sounds, Popsi might have even changed o. It's well sha

Crossroad1:
she forgave him many years ago now, still send him small change at times.. Na pupsy want comeback o, he want to be a man and knowing him, he is enticed with everything she has and if she let him in her life again, he will want to dominate everything and assume control.. We should never eat our cake and have it

bukatyne:
Change ko, APC ni.

If he has changed, let Heaven be his focus.

InfernoNig:
This is so touching reminds me of mine. My dad left, walked out on us when I was 4years old, sold all landed properties he bought for me and my siblings, left us with virtually nothing. Thank God for my mother who strive through the years to raise. Although I am struggling but still I hope God to bless me soon, so I can show my mom how much I appreciate her as nothing I can do will be more than enough to show how much I love her.

InfernoNig:
This is so touching reminds me of mine. My dad left, walked out on us when I was 4years old, sold all landed properties he bought for me and my siblings, left us with virtually nothing. Thank God for my mother who strive through the years to raise. Although I am struggling but still I hope God to bless me soon, so I can show my mom how much I appreciate her as nothing I can do will be more than enough to show how much I love her.

mariahAngel:
E ti yari!

mariahAngel:
Why are some men like this ehn?
If it’s not a curse, what would make a man destroy/treat his family bad, or just walk out on his family just like that?

...and some young men of this generation are not even willing to do better. Instead, they’re telling themselves to plan their own retirement and not rely on their children because according to them “their wives might poison their children’s minds against them”
Only a bad man will not trust his own children to care for him in old age.

mariahAngel:
Why are some men like this ehn?
If it’s not a curse, what would make a man destroy/treat his family bad, or just walk out on his family just like that?

...and some young men of this generation are not even willing to do better. Instead, they’re telling themselves to plan their own retirement and not rely on their children because according to them “their wives might poison their children’s minds against them”
Only a bad man will not trust his own children to care for him in old age.

InfernoNig:
It's so bad. Too bad I have a forgiven spirit, my siblings have forgotten they have a father. And I wish I can be like them.

InfernoNig:
It's so bad. Too bad I have a forgiven spirit, my siblings have forgotten they have a father. And I wish I can be like them.

mariahAngel:
Please do better with your own children. I believe that will fill the void your father left inside you.

bukatyne:
These stories are so common around that the men have the sure hope that the wives would accept them back (whether forgiven or not).

That's why I hammer on intentional fatherhood a lot here and I am particularly happy there is no isonu reconciliation to cater to someone who roamed the streets in his prime and now old & broke.

Even happier to read she has forgiven him so she peace and no sin hanging on her head.