adeniyi65:
Over sometimes now.i have been noted by friends and family as someone with sudden weird reasoning.my reasoning isn't weird if am to evaluate myself.its just that am more logical in my tactics to life, subduing religion rules to some extent and finally going against the usual cultural and society norm that aids the retrogression of the black communities.

That was one of the reason that led me into this reasoning: is having a child a must for us? Going by religion insight,it encourages us to multiply in multitudes and our society and culture never give less.their major point of observation is if you die without giving birth,then you are nothing to the world and the linage to your name will perish for eternity.does this really worth standing on?

To me i will prever a name over a birth.Thomas Edison is known today not by his linage of children but by his contribution to the world through his light invention.Chairman Mao, Malcolm X, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr.karl benz and the rest are remembered in the heart of every historians and the lovers of documentaries through out the globe not giving any dime about their ladder/offspring kids if even exist.there is more to my submission but don't let me do all the talking.logically at your own view.what do you think about the topic.

Don't have kids if you don't want to have them, there is no reason to feel guilty or put upon by people asking you when you'll have children, its not their business. They won't be there to help you through the challenges. And better believe that having kids is a challenge albeit one that can be very rewarding due to the joy they bring but it is something you consciously should prepare for, not something you casually stroll into.

femarse:
We can walk through the plain of West Africa, two things will be very obvious in the people..poverty and religion...

Did you see how this fine logical assertion quickly degenerate into a religious discussion about what God said ?
Can't we see that the mathusian population theory that failed in Europe and America got a 100% pass mark in Africa?
We are totally unable to reason scientifically without bringing the mystery of religion into the mix,
We are like 200m in Nigeria and 70% of this population are below the poverty line and your advice is this 170m people should double themselves to 320m because a Good said we should multiply without first thinking how to feed this many mouth ...yeah God will provide , even if he will, so what ? Manner should fall from heaven ?
When West Africa abolish religion of all types , our brain will start working

Funnysad.

For those of us that has seen the problem because we refuse to be clouded by religion , we are tag weird by people who could not reason past the ordinary
And FYI those that have decided not to have offspring has made the biggest sacrifice for those that have offspring because it means in a difficult world tomorrow, your children will have Les mouth to compete with ...

I don't think any of you have made any sacrifice for anyone, maybe a very few, but yeah, if we were thinking logically, we should be grateful. Overpopulation, climate change --> fewer resources.

No, it's not compulsory. It's a choice. Even me, I'm not sure yet.

MufasaLion:
No, it's not compulsory. It's a choice. Even me, I'm not sure yet.

Why are you not sure yet?any reason behind such heartbreaking doubt

Iyaebe:
Why are you not sure yet?any reason behind such heartbreaking doubt

Lol

Well, I'm just the type of guy that don't get excited by marriage and stuffs like that but never against them.

I'm sure my parents are gonna be suprised/disappointed that their only kid is not interested in stuffs like that.

MufasaLion:


Lol

Well, I'm just the type of guy that don't get excited by marriage and stuffs like that but never against them.

I'm sure my parents are gonna be suprised/disappointed that their only kid is not interested in stuffs like that.

Something might have prompted such doubt,care to share?

Iyaebe:
Something might have prompted such doubt,care to share?

Let me just say, I've never found a reason to want/need marriage. Growing up, you know, kids always dream and wish for stuffs like that, but I was never like that.

I like my space and peace.

MufasaLion:


Let me just say, I've never found a reason to want/need marriage. Growing up, you know, kids always dream and wish for stuffs like that, but I was never like that.

I like my space and peace.

How about the sex part,how do you intend to deal with that aspect. Or you do call girls? Something somewhere definitely is responsible for the way you turn out to be,it's either you don't want to share or you just can't figure out why you are like that,its weird.

Iyaebe:
How about the sex part,how do you intend to deal with that aspect. Or you do call girls? Something somewhere definitely is responsible for the way you turn out to be,it's either you don't want to share or you just can't figure out why you are like that,its weird.

I'm not an old man. I'm still a youth.

And yes, maybe I don't wanna talk about it (lol).

MufasaLion:


I'm not an old man. I'm still a youth.

And yes, maybe I don't wanna talk about it (lol).

Please share,I like reading heartbreak stories.

Iyaebe:
Please share,I like reading heartbreak stories.

LMAO

Heartbreak? I've never been heartbroken before. I've been the one breaking hearts. Unfortunately, I have no heartbreak story. I mean, none.

I enjoy reading heartbreak stories on this platform. I don't know how people do get their heart broken.

MufasaLion:


LMAO

Heartbreak? I've never been heartbroken before. I've been the one breaking hearts. Unfortunately, I have no heartbreak story. I mean, none.

I enjoy reading heartbreak stories on this platform. I don't know how people do get their heart broken.

Hmm then it has to do with your upbringing. But do you feel cool breaking people's heart?

Iyaebe:
Hmm then it has to do with your upbringing. But do you feel cool breaking people's heart?

Lol

My upbringing? Nope. It's just about me, actually. I'm weird (lol).

You're sounding like a shrink. Are you one?

MufasaLion:


Lol

My upbringing? Nope. It's just about me, actually. I'm weird (lol).

You're sounding like a shrink. Are you one?

No,I just hate to see people going through emotional stuff that may affect their life negatively. You'll be fine.So you don't wish to wake up every morning behind your wife and a cute little kid in front of your wife?Or are you very ugly and feel rejected by the ladies that it made you think no woman will ever want and desire you?

.

Iyaebe:
No,I just hate to see people going through emotional stuff that may affect their life negatively. You'll be fine.So you don't wish to wake up every morning behind your wife and a cute little kid in front of your wife?Or are you very ugly and feel rejected by the ladies that it made you think no woman will ever want and desire you?

You got me laughing out loud. Emotional stuff? I'm not going through such. I'm far from that. I never said I had any emotional problem.

Not interested in marriage doesn't mean someone is broken, or going through emotional stuff.

No, I'm not ugly. Baby face like me (lol). And yes, women want me.

It seems you are not getting the main thing. It's a choice.

Klass99:


The bolded is a very valid point a lot of people don't get.

They say nonsensical things like your parents gave birth to you, so why won't you have children?
As if that in itself is a good enough reason to start having children.

Even God who created us gave us the free will and power of choice to choose between Him and the devil, between good and evil, right and wrong. It was in his power to compel all of creation to choose him and follow him but he didn't do that.

So, I don't know why people act like having children is a must and not a matter of choice. There's a lot of thoughtless emotionalism displayed in general about having children or not.

Damn straight!

I really don't understand people most times. I was discussing with someone last week and he was trying to confuse me, not convince me about marriage. Many Nigerians and Africans have this mindset that having a child or marriage is a must.

I've realised that most people that are married were influenced by their parents, even though it might be against their own personal wish. Why marry because I want to please my parents? Why marry just to have kids?

Being single doesn't even stop someone from attaining success.

Klass99:


It doesn't even stop anyone from living a responsible, productive and happy life if they want to.

Yet, some people will have you believe that without marriage and children you won't be a happy nor responsible adult.

Another one I often hear is this, multiply and be fruitful is a mandate from God so you must have children. As if we haven't multiplied enough since the days of Adam & Eve.

Yes, once upon a time when the earth was newly created and only two human beings existed, multiply and be fruitful was a good command. But, we have since been given a new command - love thy God with all your heart and your neighbour as thy self.

Yet, they would rather fixate on multiply and be fruitful than love thy God & neighbour.

You're absolutely right.

Do you wanna marry and also have kids?

Klass99:


Hehehe.
Have a good night.

Nope. Come and respond.

femarse:
We can walk through the plain of West Africa, two things will be very obvious in the people..poverty and religion...

Did you see how this fine logical assertion quickly degenerate into a religious discussion about what God said ?
Can't we see that the mathusian population theory that failed in Europe and America got a 100% pass mark in Africa?
We are totally unable to reason scientifically without bringing the mystery of religion into the mix,
We are like 200m in Nigeria and 70% of this population are below the poverty line and your advice is this 170m people should double themselves to 320m because a Good said we should multiply without first thinking how to feed this many mouth ...yeah God will provide , even if he will, so what ? Manner should fall from heaven ?
When West Africa abolish religion of all types , our brain will start working

For those of us that has seen the problem because we refuse to be clouded by religion , we are tag weird by people who could not reason past the ordinary
And FYI those that have decided not to have offspring has made the biggest sacrifice for those that have offspring because it means in a difficult world tomorrow, your children will have Les mouth to compete with ...

The problem I have with most Africans is that the sub Sahara african is so devastated with poverty to the extent that it has become a part of us.
People don’t even know they are entitled to a good life - regular family outings, cinemas, regularly going to the beach, museums, zoo, swimming pool, gym center, occasional vacation outside their premises etc.
To them life is all about going to work Monday to Friday, Saturday party/any event like burial or wedding and Sunday church in between these days pa pa pa for sex and booze ….. Finish. Just finish
No preparation for emergency since our govt. is not doing that for us like medical insurance with a good HMO or educational insurance for the kids with eg FBN insurance that will continue sponsoring the kids incase of someone’s untimely / unprepared death.
Tbh, I am tired of family members calling me to help during emergencies- a death of a family member, they will call everyone to contribute, a family member in hospital - everyone is called to contribute.
Wedding etc contribute just because people can hardly plan for their own life.
I know how many family members who couldn’t take care of their own children that have been staying with us for long time that my parent are sending to public schools just to make sure they have education while their parent just gave birth without plans.
Living a good life in Africa is hard and living a PLANNEDlife in Africa is harder.
I have 2 kids and both are on a 15k per month educational insurance while my family is on a 150k hygeia HMO per year, that cost money bro. I will only be stupid to have more children because more children with a planned life cost money bro.
Not to talk of vacation and outings. Other life things still they like having your own house, changing cars after some years, thinking of having investment for old age etc and people will just be popping children like mushrooms

emmaodet:


The problem I have with most Africans is that the sub Sahara african is so devastated with poverty to the extent that it has become a part of us.
People don’t even know they are entitled to a good life - regular family outings, cinemas, regularly going to the beach, museums, zoo, swimming pool, gym center, occasional vacation outside their premises etc.
To them life is all about going to work Monday to Friday, Saturday party/any event like burial or wedding and Sunday church in between these days pa pa pa for sex and booze ….. Finish. Just finish
No preparation for emergency since our govt. is not doing that for us like medical insurance with a good HMO or educational insurance for the kids with eg FBN insurance that will continue sponsoring the kids incase of someone’s untimely / unprepared death.
Tbh, I am tired of family members calling me to help during emergencies- a death of a family member, they will call everyone to contribute, a family member in hospital - everyone is called to contribute.
Wedding etc contribute just because people can hardly plan for their own life.
I know how many family members who couldn’t take care of their own children that have been staying with us for long time that my parent are sending to public schools just to make sure they have education while their parent just gave birth without plans.
Living a good life in Africa is hard and living a PLANNEDlife in Africa is harder.
I have 2 kids and both are on a 15k per month educational insurance while my family is on a 150k hygeia HMO per year, that cost money bro. I will only be stupid to have more children because more children with a planned life cost money bro.
Not to talk of vacation and outings. Other life things still they like having your own house, changing cars after some years, thinking of having investment for old age etc and people will just be popping children like mushrooms

Guy I swear we reason alike. I am much younger than you are but walai I have sworn never to have any kids till I relocate from this shithole zoo of a nation. I mean I earn really well and I save a lot of my income but men if I have even one child, I would start living hand to mouth immediately and that's even struggling to even give the child the basics which is even below average by global standards.

Then we are yet to talk of Unforseen circumstances like job loss or stuff like that. Children will be crying and begging for food. Sent home from school. Child shows sign of malaria and heart go start to dey beat gbim gbim. I fear such like mad.

So many people in my own family who had good jobs and ran to get married lost those jobs in this Buhari regime and they are suffering like mad. Many of my cousin's can't attend school. I try to send small things to my uncle and aunts but that won't do anything. The suffering is super legendary.

tensazangetsu20:

Guy I swear we reason alike. I am much younger than you are but walai I have sworn never to have any kids till I relocate from this shithole zoo of a nation. I mean I earn really well and I save a lot of my income but men if I have even one child, I would start living hand to mouth immediately and that's even struggling to even give the child the basics which is even below average by global standards.

Then we are yet to talk of Unforseen circumstances like job loss or stuff like that. Children will be crying and begging for food. Sent home from school. Child shows sign of malaria and heart go start to dey beat gbim gbim. I fear such like mad.

So many people in my own family who had good jobs and ran to get married lost those jobs in this Buhari regime and they are suffering like mad. Many of my cousin's can't attend school. I try to send small things to my uncle and aunts but that won't do anything. The suffering is super legendary.

You are right bro.
With Africa’s situation, people shouldn’t even try 2 kids not to talk of many.
As a matter of fact, the world needs lesser and lesser humans to run it day by day yet humans are producing more and more humans out for the world.
40/50 years ago, it takes like 10 humans per acre to produce the foods we eat but today, it takes one human to drive a tractor that will do minimum of 10 acres per day (equivalent of about 150 humans for 10 acres) to produce the food we eat while there is a good forecast that it will take 1automated robot to do that same 10 acres in one day to produce food for us in the next 20/30 years.
So you see, humans are in trouble.
Another good example is ATM - do you know how many people this machine sacked in the banking sector? Thousands.
One ATM machine will dispense cash and quietly do the work of at least 10 workers. It is not corrupt like humans who try to steal the bank’s money, it doesn’t regularly request for salary increment nor go on strike due to that, it works 24 hours unlike humans that put in like 8/10 hours yet half of it is unproductive due to hiding or laziness, it doesn’t engage in favoritism where a teller man attends to his friend who just came while others are on queue etc.
In the coming future, more robots, softwares, automation machines would be rolled out thereby sacking more people yet humans are still polluting everywhere with babies/kids.
You will even see some people claiming they are here on earth to spread their seeds or genes arrogantly. Stupid people

Iniobong34:
Good question. The choice is her's, to me i don't judge the future of a man with his present condition god can use anyone to bless the family beyound human expectation

Beyond expectations?I don’t even need any expectations from him.
If he is not financially stable I won’t give out my daughter to him.
I don’t care if he is the future president of nigeria.
It is better my daughter stay single and take care of her child than continuous suffering with a man abeg.
Let us stop nonsense, this is 21st century

Iniobong34:
if ur parents didnt give birth to u, you for know say this world dey exits? Abeg argue with ur bible am out.

Must we know that this world exist? Is it a must?
So because my parent did that I should also do that by bringing a kid even when I won’t be able to adequately take care of him/her?
Well done.

emmaodet:


You are right bro.
With Africa’s situation, people shouldn’t even try 2 kids not to talk of many.
As a matter of fact, the world needs lesser and lesser humans to run it day by day yet humans are producing more and more humans out for the world.
40/50 years ago, it takes like 10 humans per acre to produce the foods we eat but today, it takes one human to drive a tractor that will do minimum of 10 acres per day (equivalent of about 150 humans for 10 acres) to produce the food we eat while there is a good forecast that it will take 1automated robot to do that same 10 acres in one day to produce food for us in the next 20/30 years.
So you see, humans are in trouble.
Another good example is ATM - do you know how many people this machine sacked in the banking sector? Thousands.
One ATM machine will dispense cash and quietly do the work of at least 10 workers. It is not corrupt like humans who try to steal the bank’s money, it doesn’t regularly request for salary increment nor go on strike due to that, it works 24 hours unlike humans that put in like 8/10 hours yet half of it is unproductive due to hiding or laziness, it doesn’t engage in favoritism where a teller man attends to his friend who just came while others are on queue etc.
In the coming future, more robots, softwares, automation machines would be rolled out thereby sacking more people yet humans are still polluting everywhere with babies/kids.
You will even see some people claiming they are here on earth to spread their seeds or genes arrogantly. Stupid people

I'm always very happy to see a Nigerian with this kind of mindset, it very rare in a society like ours

It is not a must o but it is nice to have them. I like to think my child carries my DNA and would grow to act in ways I helped form. Besides, they are so cute, funny and innocent, what's not to crave for?


Honestly, it's not a must to have them but I want to have them.....I want to share my world with them.

emmaodet:


Must we know that this world exist? Is it a must?
So because my parent did that I should also do that by bringing a kid even when I won’t be able to adequately take care of him/her?
Well done.

I followed this discussion from the beginning and knew religion will come into play at some point.

Controlled birthing of kids is something I've been clamoring for way back on Nairaland but seeing as the average black man from subsahara will rather give in to emotion and religious nonsense rather than logic, I've stopped!

I only now preach the message to my immediate family members as I'll not be cajoled into catering for someone's kids tomorrow especially when it stems from an issue like this.

The rest can go multiply for all I care.

For me, the biggest crime now in the world albeit unofficial, is bringing children to the world with lots of problem to be solved which you as a person has not provided any but adding to it through birthing more humans...
I see people who can't even feed themselves or proffer a solution to one of the many problems of this world yet birthing like pigs creating more problems for others to solve, thereby coming as a problem and leaving the world with more problems after their death.