The way ladies dictate to guys these days eh. You want everything to be done, at your own way, at your time and many more. If one method does not go, look for another. You even refused to pick his calls.
Naso I jam one 28 years ooo;
We would talk only when,where and how she wants to talk.
We cant have sex, but she wants me to such her breast, touch her but she can't touch me.
And many more as regards where to stay after marriage.
Finally, she told me she likes to be in charge

Mercychen:
Hi fam.

Something has been bothering me of late and leaving me emotionally and mentally stressed and drained for the past weeks and I'm cut between the devil and the deep blue sea.

There's this bro we're trying to see if we can work things out. though, I never really wanted anything relationship again or at least for now until I'm decided later in the future on what I really want for myself.

Before, I delve into the main discuss , let
me quickly highlight how it all started.

Some months back, My publisher came to deliver the books I ordered for. So while sorting the books, he just got teasing me like " Babes, na wa o. What's up with your romantic life now?. I've never seen you pulling with anyone. It's always work, biz Money money money I see you pursuing. Lol... I just told him, guy, free me abeg and I went on counting the books at the boot of his car.

He now walked up to me and said, on a more serious note, what is happening? So I told him it's a personal choice cos I dont have the strength for relationship brouhaha now. He agreed with me that truly its not easy and even as a married man, he too feels the heat but the good thing is, he married in the Lord. So I should choose wisely from among the brethren.

So he said, he has this family friend, an eligible bachelor, who wants a decent lady and I'm the one that comes to mind each time the guy mentions it because since he's be dealing with me, he can vouch that I'm a very honest, hard-working and decent lady. So he would want the bro to have me.
That was how I got to meet bro.

Now fastforward to the main reason of this post.
There was this particular day we tripped out to cool off and discuss about US. So we got talking and planning on how to build our home in a way that we will not be caught unawares with some setbacks and unplanned responsibilities. So the issue of children came up and I suggested we have only one, which he reluctantly accepted after much convincing. So we tried to look at ways we can maintain that decision and I suggested a vasectomy. citing the possibilities of health risks (as a result of mismatches ) and failures that might occur if the family planning is done on me but with vasectomy, no issues. He looked me in the eyes and said, "my darling" no!

I was dumbfounded.... And became a little worried because, if he has no plans of having more children, why would he kick against the idea of a vasectomy?

If we are going to be one and follow one course, why shying away from a plan that will benefit us as a couple and a family?


Could it be, he only agreed to have one with me and plans to have more else where?
Is vasectomy a life threatening condition?

I was still trying to wrap my head around his refusal, when he said, it will be done on you ( the family planning). That instant, I felt all alone, like im on my own. So I told him I needed to cool off, and he said feel free.
I left the tent and went to the waters prentending to be playing with the water. He came and dragged me out of the water. we strolled without a word and I asked him to take me home. He did.

He called when he got home. I was cold to him so, he promised to call again but since then Ive refused to pick his calls or reply his texts.

The big question is ..
WHY DID HE BLUNTLY REFUSE A VASECTOMY?

COULD HE HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES?

IS IT NOT BETTER TO OPT OUT NOW THAN PRETEND I DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE AND END UP IN REGRETS?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A MAN KICKS AGAINST VASECTOMY?

I suggest you goes for hysterectomy; the surgical procedure to remove all of or part of the uterus.

JovialJune:



Which stupid ego? What has ego got to do with breeding like chicken here and there? Men are actually the cause of overpopulation of the world especially Nigeria, if we should ascertain the ratio of women aware of family planning, it is very high, men prefer to breed here and there like daft ignorant illiterate, clip your diick mbanu, they will push it to their wives,
They never want to take reaponsibilty, women have been responsible for child birth control for decades, there should be an awareness for vasectomy really.

You don't necessarily have to marry a man to have a child. If you want one child, get sperm from a donor. Have your kid and enjoy life.
Let others who want to have many kids and overpopulated the earth enjoy in their own way.
You are not in any position to dictate how others should live their lives.
Live and let live

Na one only life

eneye1:
The way ladies dictate to guys these days eh. You want everything to be done, at your own way, at your time and many more. If one method does not go, look for another. You even refused to pick his calls.
Naso I jam one 28 years ooo;
We would talk only when,where and how she wants to talk.
We cant have sex, but she wants me to such her breast, touch her but she can't touch me.
And many more as regards where to stay after marriage.
Finally, she told me she likes to be in charge

She is a feminist. She wants to be the husband and you the wife.

Very funny.

"When cony man die, cony man bury am."

Why not harvest your ovaries instead?

You want to neuter my man but don't want something similar done to you.

I think you’re selfish and the man too doesn’t know what he wants. Sis he wants you to do same too so you both are sterile not you taking him off the productive line and tomorrow you leave him and he can’t even have a chance with another woman. If you want to go sterile pls have a discussion and let you both remove your stuff. That he said it would be done on you too clearly shows he is afraid of being alone in bearing cost of a decision you brought. But then again why don’t you find your type and stop forcing your opinion on someone. You might even find divorcée who has had all kids and doesn’t even need a child and you be good or just stay single.
This thread doesn’t make sense at all. Imagine if it was him who says hey I want you remove your womb after 2kids how would we look at it?

Mercychen:


Ah Finally! Someone thinking in my direction .

Someone who understands my fears and worries.

Why did I never think of this.? At least this is a fair deal with my Interest still protected.

God bless you.

I don't usually follow people but you just earned yourself a follower. .


Ill call him tonight and tell him this. Let's see if he will agree. If not, we park it up.

Thanks a bunch.

You're very funny i knew this was your intention all along you want him to do vasectomy so that you guys can be even because whether u agree to do tubal ligation or not, menopause is like a sort of natural tubal ligation so you want take his ability to procreate away from him so that you guys can be equal smh your intention here and what people said you have said in your previous trends says a lot about you it shows that you're paranoid, you don't trust men to be candid most men out there are not trustworthy, they're irresponsible but there are still few of them that are trustworthy and responsible
I will advise u to let go of your paranoia because no responsible and trustworthy person(man & woman) will want to marry someone with this kind of intention and immaturity

No man would succumb to that evil suggestion. Assuming the lady in question has a son who is old enough to get married and his wife to be suggests that to him , how would this op take it for her son?

[quote author=Kobojunkie post=108122227]Why do you assume she shot herself in the foot though. I mean if I am in a relationship and I want one and only one kid, what is selfish about making that known to my partner?

From what she relayed, things were already flowing between them - he even called her "darling" - before she made her intentions known. Was she supposed to maybe wait till the night before their wedding to get it out or something? I mean when exactly will be more appropriate to let you partner know of a thing like this?

Well, they were having the conversation so he revealed what he wanted and she said what she preferred and argued for it. Isn't that how you reach agreements in any relationship?

What is wrong with a vasectomy? I read somewhere that the cost is around N 100,000 and it is reversible with less side-effects. What other family planning method comes close for couples who are serious and in it for the long haul?




It's only a foolish man that will base his life choices on how a women feels on the moment, what happens after the man has done the vasectomy and the woman wakes up one day and she feels she needs another child, or you think it's impossible. Then she will cheat on the man and get pregnant else. Women are very wicked be very Careful with them

Just one child? Hanty
Reason nah.
As a man .. he needs a male child so to continue his lineage
So if it happens ur first and only child comes a girl. So his lineage will end because of ur own happiness in marriage. Reason am nah

OPT FOR REVERSIBLE FAMILY PLANNING OPTIONS.

eneye1:
The way ladies dictate to guys these days eh. You want everything to be done, at your own way, at your time and many more. If one method does not go, look for another. You even refused to pick his calls.
Naso I jam one 28 years ooo;
We would talk only when,where and how she wants to talk.
We cant have sex, but she wants me to such her breast, touch her but she can't touch me.
And many more as regards where to stay after marriage.
Finally, she told me she likes to be in charge

The future is female

Belafonte:
If this one is more normal than the rest then the rest must be roaming streets because this one is clearly not okay

The others are just experts at masking theirs...

eneye1:
The way ladies dictate to guys these days eh. You want everything to be done, at your own way, at your time and many more. If one method does not go, look for another. You even refused to pick his calls.
Naso I jam one 28 years ooo;
We would talk only when,where and how she wants to talk.
We cant have sex, but she wants me to such her breast, touch her but she can't touch me.
And many more as regards where to stay after marriage.
Finally, she told me she likes to be in charge

Orishirishi

Mercychen:
Hi fam.

Something has been bothering me of late and leaving me emotionally and mentally stressed and drained for the past weeks and I'm cut between the devil and the deep blue sea.

There's this bro we're trying to see if we can work things out. though, I never really wanted anything relationship again or at least for now until I'm decided later in the future on what I really want for myself.

Before, I delve into the main discuss , let
me quickly highlight how it all started.

Some months back, My publisher came to deliver the books I ordered for. So while sorting the books, he just got teasing me like " Babes, na wa o. What's up with your romantic life now?. I've never seen you pulling with anyone. It's always work, biz Money money money I see you pursuing. Lol... I just told him, guy, free me abeg and I went on counting the books at the boot of his car.

He now walked up to me and said, on a more serious note, what is happening? So I told him it's a personal choice cos I dont have the strength for relationship brouhaha now. He agreed with me that truly its not easy and even as a married man, he too feels the heat but the good thing is, he married in the Lord. So I should choose wisely from among the brethren.

So he said, he has this family friend, an eligible bachelor, who wants a decent lady and I'm the one that comes to mind each time the guy mentions it because since he's be dealing with me, he can vouch that I'm a very honest, hard-working and decent lady. So he would want the bro to have me.
That was how I got to meet bro.

Now fastforward to the main reason of this post.
There was this particular day we tripped out to cool off and discuss about US. So we got talking and planning on how to build our home in a way that we will not be caught unawares with some setbacks and unplanned responsibilities. So the issue of children came up and I suggested we have only one, which he reluctantly accepted after much convincing. So we tried to look at ways we can maintain that decision and I suggested a vasectomy. citing the possibilities of health risks (as a result of mismatches ) and failures that might occur if the family planning is done on me but with vasectomy, no issues. He looked me in the eyes and said, "my darling" no!

I was dumbfounded.... And became a little worried because, if he has no plans of having more children, why would he kick against the idea of a vasectomy?

If we are going to be one and follow one course, why shying away from a plan that will benefit us as a couple and a family?


Could it be, he only agreed to have one with me and plans to have more else where?
Is vasectomy a life threatening condition?

I was still trying to wrap my head around his refusal, when he said, it will be done on you ( the family planning). That instant, I felt all alone, like im on my own. So I told him I needed to cool off, and he said feel free.
I left the tent and went to the waters prentending to be playing with the water. He came and dragged me out of the water. we strolled without a word and I asked him to take me home. He did.

He called when he got home. I was cold to him so, he promised to call again but since then Ive refused to pick his calls or reply his texts.

The big question is ..
WHY DID HE BLUNTLY REFUSE A VASECTOMY?

COULD HE HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES?

IS IT NOT BETTER TO OPT OUT NOW THAN PRETEND I DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE AND END UP IN REGRETS?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A MAN KICKS AGAINST VASECTOMY?

Rubbish feminist spotted... Na your type go use I know my right, I know my right take scatter family.

Family never start you Don dey give rules and regulations. If I be that bros I go run four forty without looking back.

1 kid kor 10000 kid ni

why dont you work on your uterus or womb intead
why must he ?
you brought the idea

Mercychen:


Ah Finally! Someone thinking in my direction .

Someone who understands my fears and worries.

Why did I never think of this.? At least this is a fair deal with my Interest still protected.

God bless you.

I don't usually follow people but you just earned yourself a follower. .


Ill call him tonight and tell him this. Let's see if he will agree. If not, we park it up.

Thanks a bunch.

Finally you are open as the fraud you are.. So it wasn't about the risk of it done on you as claimed but your personal interest and selfishness.. I'm sure that guy will be saved from you...you never love the guy, all you love is yourself and the guy is just a catalyst to your Eldorado...

You are super selfish. If u suggested one child. Den u shud b the one who facilitates it. Which kind demon u be sef. D man will b very stupid to accept a vasectomy.

pocohantas:
Na Mercy make una dey get headache? Lol
Someone that would move on to the next cruise by tomorrow. Truthsayer009 what is your opinion on this?

Hahaha this one you called me to come & talk

Funny enough there are too many Mercy Chen's around and you would never know until you spend some time, weeks and months with them before finally finding out that they are real werey. This is why I usually don't recommend all this jumping from abroad to come and pick wife within a month or two, finalize marriage, because you fit marry werey without knowing & then you have the rest of life to battle with.

If she says vasectomy after 3 kids, then that still makes sense. Which one is having just 1 kid, what's that?

Honestly I wish It was a requirement for intending spouse to hand over ours phones to show what we are posting online on the first date the same way we talk about genotype, we should audit each first other before we proceed, because mehn I my tired is tired.

Finally, I came to the end of the thread. I read it keenly from page 1 till page 14 and I must say I learnt a lot. I was reading while in traffic returning from work. Lekki-Ajah traffic can tiring but this post kept me busy.

If this story is actually true, the op @Mercychen should check herself. She ain't right upstairs and I have no apologies for this. She managed to convince (or confuse) a man to father only one child and went ahead to suggest vasectomy. If I were to be the man, I might give her a hot slap unknowingly. Not because I want to but a reflex action for her selfishness. She is what we call "village people" to the young man and he is yet to know/notice. I pray he sees and runs as fast as his legs can carry.

Somewhere in one of her post in this thread, she said she's a Christian and I doubt that. Having gone through her posts in this thread, I could see she's uncouth, mannerless, ill-tempered, and uncultured. She's a time bomb waiting to happen. This one has not one of the semblance of Christ.

Maybe she's a feminist but If this is what "feminism" is then it's killing our society. In her little mindedness, she thinks she's a "goddess" that requires a sacrifice from a man she must court/marry. Little wonder she hasn't gotten one. She truly doesn't even deserve one at all with this mindset.

Like who are you? What do/can you bring to the table that other ladies can't bring? Is your love made of gold? Are you Dangote's daughter? What sacrifices did you make for the man when he was trying to find his feet in life? Were you there for him when he was building?

How can a sane woman make such a request from a man? She doesn't want to be sterile but want her man to be. If this isn't wickedness, what can we call it?

The painful part is that some people on this thread are supporting her madness. One even said there are "lots of guys" that will give in to her demand. In this country or where? Will that person allow her brother do vasectomy because of a lady? It's well known that ladies try to shield their brothers from being SIMPs while they (the ladies) pray for SIMPs. Go check.

Lastly @Mercychen, please leave the young man alone and adopt a child or better still find a sperm donor. You aren't fit for marriage and don't bother saying "I know what I carry" cause you carry absolutely nothing. No one is irreplaceable.

Also, please check your mental health. Go for counselling if that will help. You're not OK at all.

Amasimichael:
You are super selfish. If u suggested one child. Den u shud b the one who facilitates it. Which kind demon u be sef. D man will b very stupid to accept a vasectomy.

She isn't just selfish. She is mad and doesn't have anyone to tell her so.

Maybe they've been trying to but she doesn't listen.

Just imagine the Guy's mother and/or other family members hear this. If the guy na my friend, I for use slap reset him brain. Maybe she don jazz am.

I don't even know what to tell you @jewesgrattitude @Ashirawealthy @Mercychen.
Maybe marriage is not meant for you. Forget about men and live your life. Just like I have forgotten about women and living my life.
Marriage is not meant for everyone.

Belafonte:


Why are you party to destroy an innocent man's life? Do you think this is the only unrealistic she has or will have? Will you always be there to talk to sense into her? Will you be there when the guy reaches his threshold of the bullshït she'll put him through through the years?

As a man, you should be praying the guy escapes with his life. This is a golden opportunity for him to retain his dignity.

And for a woman to suggest having one child and having the temerity to even ask that the man who is barely convinced to have just one child get a vasectomy tells me she has had other fücked up demands which the simp has acceded to. This is God giving him a final chance to not due young

Baba calm down this life no too hard, quite a number of great men with all their riches and power have one child and some two. Does that mean they are simps.

Talking sense into her like how, go back to my comment you quoted and the previous ones I made on this thread, and read what I posted, even the one you quoted I told her they can always come to agreement at a mid point favorable to each of them,meaning it's hard for her to get any man who would agree to her terms so she has to one way or the other compromise, that is if she wants one and the guy probably wants more than one they can agree agree at a reasonable number okay for both.

I am lost as to point out valuable reasons to many of the things you typed there, but I will give it a try.. How are you so sure the guy has no mind of his own? How are you so sure the lady will put him through bullshit?

What has number of children got to do with dignity when you can have one or two and live a life of comfort as a family,which dignity beats the fact that you can provide your family with a reasonable amount of comfort and luxury in comparison with a large family and living through your nose and barely surviving.


For your last paragraph, you carry the matter for head and even insult the man you are trying to defend when you barely know him, they are going into a relationship with marriage in view, some things have to be discussed and if both parties can't come into agreement, they can peacefully go their separate ways but you made it sound like she is forcing the guy to accept her decisions.

See calm down, and try to see life in different perspectives and how every decisions taken independently can have an after effect on others. Birthing three or more children these days if a man is not doing anything worthwhile to better the human race should be discouraged, we should rather focus on few kids and larger resources to cater for them.

AY Makun is someone I envy small family and big resources, the peace of mind is unquantifiable, even at that, it does not mean I will call those who chose to do otherwise names, after all we all bear the consequences of our actions.

FanOfMyself:
I don't even know what to tell you @jewesgrattitude @Ashirawealthy @Mercychen.
Maybe marriage is not meant for you. Forget about men and live your life. Just like I have forgotten about women and living my life.
Marriage is not meant for everyone.

Chidi, shut up!

Mercychen:
Hi fam.

Something has been bothering me of late and leaving me emotionally and mentally stressed and drained for the past weeks and I'm cut between the devil and the deep blue sea.

There's this bro we're trying to see if we can work things out. though, I never really wanted anything relationship again or at least for now until I'm decided later in the future on what I really want for myself.

Before, I delve into the main discuss , let
me quickly highlight how it all started.

Some months back, My publisher came to deliver the books I ordered for. So while sorting the books, he just got teasing me like " Babes, na wa o. What's up with your romantic life now?. I've never seen you pulling with anyone. It's always work, biz Money money money I see you pursuing. Lol... I just told him, guy, free me abeg and I went on counting the books at the boot of his car.

He now walked up to me and said, on a more serious note, what is happening? So I told him it's a personal choice cos I dont have the strength for relationship brouhaha now. He agreed with me that truly its not easy and even as a married man, he too feels the heat but the good thing is, he married in the Lord. So I should choose wisely from among the brethren.

So he said, he has this family friend, an eligible bachelor, who wants a decent lady and I'm the one that comes to mind each time the guy mentions it because since he's be dealing with me, he can vouch that I'm a very honest, hard-working and decent lady. So he would want the bro to have me.
That was how I got to meet bro.

Now fastforward to the main reason of this post.
There was this particular day we tripped out to cool off and discuss about US. So we got talking and planning on how to build our home in a way that we will not be caught unawares with some setbacks and unplanned responsibilities. So the issue of children came up and I suggested we have only one, which he reluctantly accepted after much convincing. So we tried to look at ways we can maintain that decision and I suggested a vasectomy. citing the possibilities of health risks (as a result of mismatches ) and failures that might occur if the family planning is done on me but with vasectomy, no issues. He looked me in the eyes and said, "my darling" no!

I was dumbfounded.... And became a little worried because, if he has no plans of having more children, why would he kick against the idea of a vasectomy?

If we are going to be one and follow one course, why shying away from a plan that will benefit us as a couple and a family?


Could it be, he only agreed to have one with me and plans to have more else where?
Is vasectomy a life threatening condition?

I was still trying to wrap my head around his refusal, when he said, it will be done on you ( the family planning). That instant, I felt all alone, like im on my own. So I told him I needed to cool off, and he said feel free.
I left the tent and went to the waters prentending to be playing with the water. He came and dragged me out of the water. we strolled without a word and I asked him to take me home. He did.

He called when he got home. I was cold to him so, he promised to call again but since then Ive refused to pick his calls or reply his texts.

The big question is ..
WHY DID HE BLUNTLY REFUSE A VASECTOMY?

COULD HE HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES?

IS IT NOT BETTER TO OPT OUT NOW THAN PRETEND I DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE AND END UP IN REGRETS?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A MAN KICKS AGAINST VASECTOMY?

Aunty I swear I can't consider you for a wife because I can see that you are too WISE and selfish.

Why vasectomy why not a surgery on your own womb after all you are the one that wants one child?

Ulunne777:


The future is female

Yes ooo. We have entered

Newton2024:
She is a feminist. She wants to be the husband and you the wife.

I was shocked. I withdrew , she does not want it. I can't talk. E tire me