Saao:
except if u trained your kid to lie. I have kids, if they complained to me about issues twice, I will certainly look into it not talking about death threats, I will change the kid from the school and report to police cuz of others

You are rather insulting him. Does he sound like some one who will "train his kid to lie" to you? What kind of talk is that?

I wouldn't put too much blame on the father but will rather fault the school for neglect and not paying enough attention to the students welfare.. it's the school's duty to punish, suspend or expel any student caught in such acts as bullying.

It shows they are just collecting money (#1million) for doing nothing.. If you check well, some of the girls in their boarding have done abortion more than 20 times but the parents will think their wards are receiving quality services and protection. It's sad tho.

LutanFyah:
You're talking rubbish!

Men need to step up and act as MEN!

You don't bully my son,he reports to me and you expect me to fold my arms and watch you continue bullying my son. Go to the school, create "A GOOD SCENE", arrest the bastards and issue warnings to the management.


NOBODY will ever mess with my son again.

That's how it should be. I trust myself when it comes to things like that. I no dey look face once you mess up and I'm sure you mess up with someone dear to me.
Sometimes parents don't listen to their kids. And the few that listen will just go there a plead with the school to stop without act some drama.
No way, we go acr real drama and my pikin no go enter that school again.

HelloWriter:
OPINION: Why I Blame Oromoni Snr For His Son's Death, And What We Can Learn From It

We have all been reading news about the death of a 12-year-young lad at the high-brow Dowen College, Lekki. After watching some family photos of the Oromonis, and seeing how much the family loved the younger Sylvester, I've been weeping uncontrollably. Somehow, I even feel that Sylvester Jnr is my own blood.

But, it pains me even more to learn that the boy's family had all it would have taken to save him but didn't...unfortunately. It's so painful.

I know that shallow sentiments are flying around right now concerning the boy's death. Therefore, many people here are going to take their fangs out against me and say how I am cruel, insensitive, and satanic for daring to blame the aching family (especially the father) for young Sylvester's death.

You see, one of the reasons why Nigeria remains so backward is that we largely seem to lack the maturity of truly learning lessons from our experiences - even on the political space. We seem to enjoy getting into trouble in order to complain about our ugly situations. Looks like we even enjoy to get the sympathy which has absolutely nothing good to add to our lives.

If I fail to share the light I have about his family's responsibility for Sylvester's death now that the event is fresh, I see more families failing to learn the lesson hidden in the boy's premature death (which is the only good thing that can come out of the evil). So, in spite of the expected criticisms, why am I going ahead to blame Sylvester's older ones - and especially his father - for the boy's death? See why:

I read a report by The Punch on the incident where Late Sylvester's father is quoted as saying...



Imagine that! The bullying on their son got to the point that he was being asked to talk about her sister's privates. It got to a point where they had to withdraw Sylvester's only elder sister left at Bowen. Yet, they saw no reason enough to also withdraw their darling son to save him from such profound abuse.

Even more indicting is the fact that Oromoni Snr was aware, as early as the last term, that his young son was getting death threats from the bullies to the extent that he was getting traumatic! Hah!!! As the Punch report quotes him as saying about his dead son,



As you can see, he got this gory report as far back as when younger Sylvester's two elder sisters were still at Bowen. He considered withdrawing him, but changed his mind because the lad still enjoyed some protection from his elder sisters. But, why did you (Oromoni Snr) still leave the little boy at Bowen with such a history of getting bullied, even after his two elder sisters left the school? Why?

This is happening in the first school term. As early as last term, you (Oromoni Snr) knew that your little son was being bullied to the point of getting traumatic. So, why didn't you withdraw him? You can't tell us that you took him back there to complete the school year's curriculum since that was the last term of the year. I can't find any reason enough to take back the child to a place where he was getting so abused that he was getting traumatic without any significant intervention from the school managers.

From my personal appreciation of Oromoni Snr, it seems to me that he was blinded and deafened by the arrogance of having a child at high-brow Dowen. I'm aware of how cruel this my perception might sound. I could be wrong also. But, I see many Nigerian parents making that same mistake of letting such shallow considerations becloud their reasoning. If only we can learn, from this painful death, to be less vain than this.

What has happened has happened. As painful as it is, the only good thing that can come out of it are the lessons that we can learn from it. These lessons would be useless to the extent that they don't help us to prevent a repeat of such an incident individually and otherwise.

Lalasticlala
Mynd44
Seun

The boy could probably had been saved at the very last minute if he got all the necessary medical attention but he was kept at home waiting for the father to return from Asaba. I was shocked when I saw the video of the boy in pain and I discovered the background didn't look like an hospital. To further confirmed that, the father in an interview with CNN pigin said he had contacted two doctors and the doctors were ready and waiting to receive the boy but before he could get to Lagos from Asaba, the little boy had died.

NwaNimo1:
Tough call.......

[img]https://c./_FoKNIe7na8AAAAd/columbo.gif[/img]

@HellowWriter

What happened to the boy is tragic. I don't think he looked tough enough to live away from home (even if it was a fancy school).

What character did the parents instil in the child? To turn the other cheek or to fight back?

Fathers/parents need to be realistic with their children especially in the contraption called Nigeria where anything goes!

Self defence is a must for both males and females.

As for the school it's clearly not a safe environment for children so should be closed.

You have another side to it. There's surely a reason why the child Sylvester seemed to be a particular soft target for the bad boys. It seems he was too soft for them from the way he was raised.

And, it's remarkable that NwaNimo1 wrote such a long text today and still added his usual gif gift

HelloWriter:

You have another side to it. There's surely a reason why the child Sylvester seemed to be a particular soft target for the bad boys. It seems he was too soft for them from the way he was raised.

And, it's remarkable that NwaNimo1 wrote such a long text today and still added his usual gif gift

Lol...

[img]https://media1./images/d22e7258244c4f1ab3431d5ac7e902f8/tenor.gif?itemid=18327694[/img]



I don't have time for long winded chitter chatter - i just get to the point and then move on.

In an ideal world you raise your child to be a decent human being where violence is unnecessary.

Unfortunately in Nigeria you need a fighting element to your character - and this needs to be instilled by parents at a young age.

Throughout life you'll be faced and confronted with bullshiit and the without any 'fight' in you life will be miserable.

Hashabiah:
Oga, you're behaving like an online thug ...and not someone who is logically responsible and thinking

If the parents of the deceased behaved like "an online thug" that boy would have been alive today.


You think freedom is gotten from being "logically responsible "?

Ask South Africans, Kenyans,Black Americans, South Sudans, Talibans in Afghanistan etc and they will tell you what it means to deal with bullies.

You think the world is for weaklings like you who speak English and lacks the spine to deal with situations? The Brits dealt with Africa and are still bullying them till date, the French are still bullying the francophone countries till date, Americans are still bullying Iran till date but you sit in your tiny hut and spew rubbish to mask your cowardice.


You're just a weakling and a scared man who can't even put his feet down and demand justice for his children.

My family friend's daughter attended a catholic girls boarding secondary school. By second term, she was refusing to resume. In fact she purposely forgot her assignments inorder not to resume. Her parents called me to persuade her cos she acknowledges me sort off. I found out there were some girls trying to have carnal knowledge of her. And they threatened her for refusing. Had to tell her parents. They were reluctant at first trying to proffer solution on how she can avoid them bla bla bla until I screamed that she be changed to another school before she was changed o. Some parents and non chalant attitude is like 5 and 6.

LutanFyah:
If the parents of the deceased behaved like "an online thug" that boy would have been alive today.


You think freedom is gotten from being "logically responsible "?

Ask South Africans, Kenyans,Black Americans, South Sudans, Talibans in Afghanistan etc and they will tell you what it means to deal with bullies.

You think the world is for weaklings like you who speak English and lacks the spine to deal with situations? The Brits dealt with Africa and are still bullying them till date, the French are still bullying the francophone countries till date, Americans are still bullying Iran till date but you sit in your tiny hut and spew rubbish to mask your cowardice.


You're just a weakling and a scared man who can't even put his feet down and demand justice for his children.

This sounds like the sort of things terrorist say before attacking their victims. And besides, the world never evolved through this deluded path you mentioned. Because if it had , Hitler and a lot if crazy folks would be ruling the world.

Hashabiah:
This sounds like the sort of things terrorist say before attacking their victims. And besides, the world never evolved through this deluded path you mentioned. Because if it had , Hitler and a lot if crazy folks would be ruling the world.

Good to know that you think like this,cos the world needs cowards like you who can't stand for the children to balance the eco system.

starbuck:
My daughter is 12 and in Jss2... Something of such happened in their class but the case was that of student who was to repeat because he failed.. The boy in question refused to repeat the Jss2 that he was asked to and he went ahead to even sort the school principal with 5k but his friends advised him against that because they know the woman in question doesn't entertain rubbish...

His next line of action was to go buy 5k plus padlock to lock the school gate from outside twice or thrice a week without the security guard knowing who does that.. Mind you, the school has boarding facilities with students and teachers and the owner living there.. When the locking of the school became rampant, the security man devised a mean and caught him in the middle of the night when he came to lock the school from outside...

Stories now emerge that he wanted to burn the school too and he had also come to school with a gun( this is where my daughter's case in).. She was the person who saw something like a gun in his bag one of the days he came to school and she brought it up when they were called to testify about the boy and his evil deeds...

When the boy's mother was summoned and she was told if she was aware that his son usually leave at night and come to the school to lock the gate, she said that they live in a big house and she usually not aware when someone goes in or out of the house but she had a slight knowledge about the day her son was caught because he didn't come back on time from the errand she sent him... They told her about the gun, she said that her son has so many toys with guns included, so maybe it was one of the the toy guns that his mates saw and thought it was a real gun..

After the bla bla, they asked her to take her son home till further notice... When my daughter came back and told me about it and the threat the boy made to her and one other of their classmates that he will deal with them... I was like, these people don't know me ooo, told my husband about it and told him that i would be going right to the student house to confront him and the mother, he was like 'I shouldn't try it because it would look like i am invading in their privacy because kids can say anything and don't mean it' '

Husbandman didn't know me well enough... I located the woman's house in the absence of my kids and husband and dropped a piece of mind with her and her son ( I activated my stuttering voice too so they will know i can devour anyone once it comes to my flesh)

I go like marry a lady like you when I ready

HelloWriter:
OPINION: Why I Blame Oromoni Snr For His Son's Death, And What We Can Learn From It

We have all been reading news about the death of a 12-year-young lad at the high-brow Dowen College, Lekki. After watching some family photos of the Oromonis, and seeing how much the family loved the younger Sylvester, I've been weeping uncontrollably. Somehow, I even feel that Sylvester Jnr is my own blood.

But, it pains me even more to learn that the boy's family had all it would have taken to save him but didn't...unfortunately. It's so painful.

I know that shallow sentiments are flying around right now concerning the boy's death. Therefore, many people here are going to take their fangs out against me and say how I am cruel, insensitive, and satanic for daring to blame the aching family (especially the father) for young Sylvester's death.

You see, one of the reasons why Nigeria remains so backward is that we largely seem to lack the maturity of truly learning lessons from our experiences - even on the political space. We seem to enjoy getting into trouble in order to complain about our ugly situations. Looks like we even enjoy to get the sympathy which has absolutely nothing good to add to our lives.

If I fail to share the light I have about his family's responsibility for Sylvester's death now that the event is fresh, I see more families failing to learn the lesson hidden in the boy's premature death (which is the only good thing that can come out of the evil). So, in spite of the expected criticisms, why am I going ahead to blame Sylvester's older ones - and especially his father - for the boy's death? See why:

I read a report by The Punch on the incident where Late Sylvester's father is quoted as saying...



Imagine that! The bullying on their son got to the point that he was being asked to talk about her sister's privates. It got to a point where they had to withdraw Sylvester's only elder sister left at Bowen. Yet, they saw no reason enough to also withdraw their darling son to save him from such profound abuse.

Even more indicting is the fact that Oromoni Snr was aware, as early as the last term, that his young son was getting death threats from the bullies to the extent that he was getting traumatic! Hah!!! As the Punch report quotes him as saying about his dead son,



As you can see, he got this gory report as far back as when younger Sylvester's two elder sisters were still at Bowen. He considered withdrawing him, but changed his mind because the lad still enjoyed some protection from his elder sisters. But, why did you (Oromoni Snr) still leave the little boy at Bowen with such a history of getting bullied, even after his two elder sisters left the school? Why?

This is happening in the first school term. As early as last term, you (Oromoni Snr) knew that your little son was being bullied to the point of getting traumatic. So, why didn't you withdraw him? You can't tell us that you took him back there to complete the school year's curriculum since that was the last term of the year. I can't find any reason enough to take back the child to a place where he was getting so abused that he was getting traumatic without any significant intervention from the school managers.

From my personal appreciation of Oromoni Snr, it seems to me that he was blinded and deafened by the arrogance of having a child at high-brow Dowen. I'm aware of how cruel this my perception might sound. I could be wrong also. But, I see many Nigerian parents making that same mistake of letting such shallow considerations becloud their reasoning. If only we can learn, from this painful death, to be less vain than this.

What has happened has happened. As painful as it is, the only good thing that can come out of it are the lessons that we can learn from it. These lessons would be useless to the extent that they don't help us to prevent a repeat of such an incident individually and otherwise.

Lalasticlala
Mynd44
Seun

I agree with you. Parents should listen to their children.

Hashabiah:
OP, this sort of thing happens in almost everyone country across the world and there is no amount of precautionary steps you can take to prevent this . Yes, there were signs of bullying and neglect by the school , but you need to understand that as a parent, you can't control all traumatic situations your children go through in life and pretending you can will just simply be hypocrisy

It is happening everywhere but there are some complains you would have to take seriously. If children complain of bullying or there is sudden change in children'sbehaviour, parents should take action.
I speak by writing petitions to appropriate authorities who must sign acknowledge copies. Law of evidence.
I speak by open confrontation. Children must know their parents can fight for them.
I listen to my children. If my children complain of certain things, i ask the teachers.
We talk to our kids daily about schools.
I speak less. I do more.
We interact with teachers frequently.
Parents should protect their children.

joyandfaith:

It is happening everywhere but there are some complains you would have to take seriously. If children complain of bullying or there is sudden change in children'sbehaviour, parents should take action.
I speak by writing petitions to appropriate authorities who must sign acknowledge copies. Law of evidence.
I speak by open confrontation. Children must know their parents can fight for them.
I listen to my children. If my children complain of certain things, i ask the teachers.
We talk to our kids daily about schools.
I speak less. I do more.
We interact with teachers frequently.
Parents should protect their children.

You're right ,but you have to understand that you can't give 100% protection to your child. Now I'm not saying parents shouldn't be up and doing ,but in this sad incident, the school and parents both contributed to the demise of this child. And that's what I wanted to point out to the emotional Op

Indeed your opinion is very valid as I have also pondered why the school wasn't changed with all the threat n complain but that aside the deed as been done n it is only left for just to be done. The 4 pupil that participated in the murder of the boy must also be put to death without further delay as that is the only important thing that matters. They after should concentrate on that n that alone..

HelloWriter:
OPINION: Why I Blame Oromoni Snr For His Son's Death, And What We Can Learn From It

Hashabiah:
You're right ,but you have to understand that you can't give 100% protection to your child. Now I'm not saying parents shouldn't be up and doing ,but in this sad incident, the school and parents both contributed to the demise of this child. And that's what I wanted to point out to the emotional Op

That is the point.

Hashabiah:
[s][/s] My problem with your perspective is that it comes from a lot of emotional garbage that's embedded in a very shallow-mentality . But this is typical with the average Nairalander .

Anyway, let me address certain misconceptions you have about me and my perspective.

1. If everyone takes what a children says seriously,we'll all be like that disgraceful Lady in Oyo state. This is fact , but you can choose to argue this when you become more rational . Because right now, you're just being emotional and not making sense at all in terms of logic and what's appropriate for parenting .


2. I never said a child shouldn't be listened to. On the contrary , that particular statement happens to be your own myopic interpretation of my earlier post . I believe children should be listened to; I also believe that a parent should be sensitive to the needs of a child . But it's not just everything a child screams about i should worry over. This is another fact that you should acknowledge in truth and humility.


3. You can't prove that acts like homosexuality, cultism and negative stuff like that must always come from bad parenting. In fact , society also plays a major role too. How ? Take the American society for example : it accepts homosexuality as a way of life . Now tell me , how do you raise a kid that's free from that sort of practice without encroaching on the violation of the laws of the land ?

Nnaa simply put, I bu nnoo ewu. You deserve 200 lashes on a bare buttock

Bonavi:
Nnaa simply put, I bu nnoo ewu. You deserve 200 lashes on a bare buttock

Another emotional Nigerian

Hashabiah:
Bros , I've been a teacher for more than 15 years and I can tell you that you can't take everything a child says seriously. Some kids are just cheeky by nature and would tell outright lies just to see your level of reaction and discipline . This is something that's taught in class room management and child psychology. And I don't know why the OP would be vexed about such an issue that could happen to anyone at anytime without preparation

If this is your experience about teaching of supposed children or pupils as the case may be for 15yrs as you claim... Then it calls for more worry ...

Quite baffling also that you didn't see any sense in the narrative of the OP...

kuntash:



If this is your experience about teaching of supposed children or pupils as the case may be for 15yrs as you claim... Then it calls for more worry ...

Quite baffling also that you didn't see any sense in the narrative of the OP...

Bro, no one is forcing you to accept or believe my experience as a teacher. But learn to be objective in light of reasoning and logic ; not emotionally responses like the OP here .

Hashabiah:
[s][/s] My problem with your perspective is that it comes from a lot of emotional garbage that's embedded in a very shallow-mentality . But this is typical with the average Nairalander .

Anyway, let me address certain misconceptions you have about me and my perspective.

1. If everyone takes what a children says seriously,we'll all be like that disgraceful Lady in Oyo state. This is fact , but you can choose to argue this when you become more rational . Because right now, you're just being emotional and not making sense at all in terms of logic and what's appropriate for parenting .


2. I never said a child shouldn't be listened to. On the contrary , that particular statement happens to be your own myopic interpretation of my earlier post . I believe children should be listened to; I also believe that a parent should be sensitive to the needs of a child . But it's not just everything a child screams about i should worry over. This is another fact that you should acknowledge in truth and humility.


3. You can't prove that acts like homosexuality, cultism and negative stuff like that must always come from bad parenting. In fact , society also plays a major role too. How ? Take the American society for example : it accepts homosexuality as a way of life . Now tell me , how do you raise a kid that's free from that sort of practice without encroaching on the violation of the laws of the land ?

Maybe you should take a break from nairaland, come back when you’re more mature, read your comments again and then give better replies

[s]

DAVE5:



Maybe you should take a break from nairaland, come back when you’re more mature, read your comments again and then give better replies

[/s] It's not by force to come into my mentions and give your own emotional perspective