₦airaland Forum

Mercychen:
Hi fam.

Something has been bothering me of late and leaving me emotionally and mentally stressed and drained for the past weeks and I'm cut between the devil and the deep blue sea.

There's this bro we're trying to see if we can work things out. though, I never really wanted anything relationship again or at least for now until I'm decided later in the future on what I really want for myself.

Before, I delve into the main discuss , let
me quickly highlight how it all started.

Some months back, My publisher came to deliver the books I ordered for. So while sorting the books, he just got teasing me like " Babes, na wa o. What's up with your romantic life now?. I've never seen you pulling with anyone. It's always work, biz Money money money I see you pursuing. Lol... I just told him, guy, free me abeg and I went on counting the books at the boot of his car.

He now walked up to me and said, on a more serious note, what is happening? So I told him it's a personal choice cos I dont have the strength for relationship brouhaha now. He agreed with me that truly its not easy and even as a married man, he too feels the heat but the good thing is, he married in the Lord. So I should choose wisely from among the brethren.

So he said, he has this family friend, an eligible bachelor, who wants a decent lady and I'm the one that comes to mind each time the guy mentions it because since he's be dealing with me, he can vouch that I'm a very honest, hard-working and decent lady. So he would want the bro to have me.
That was how I got to meet bro.

Now fastforward to the main reason of this post.
There was this particular day we tripped out to cool off and discuss about US. So we got talking and planning on how to build our home in a way that we will not be caught unawares with some setbacks and unplanned responsibilities. So the issue of children came up and I suggested we have only one, which he reluctantly accepted after much convincing. So we tried to look at ways we can maintain that decision and I suggested a vasectomy. citing the possibilities of health risks (as a result of mismatches ) and failures that might occur if the family planning is done on me but with vasectomy, no issues. He looked me in the eyes and said, "my darling" no!

I was dumbfounded.... And became a little worried because, if he has no plans of having more children, why would he kick against the idea of a vasectomy?

If we are going to be one and follow one course, why shying away from a plan that will benefit us as a couple and a family?


Could it be, he only agreed to have one with me and plans to have more else where?
Is vasectomy a life threatening condition?

I was still trying to wrap my head around his refusal, when he said, it will be done on you ( the family planning). That instant, I felt all alone, like im on my own. So I told him I needed to cool off, and he said feel free.
I left the tent and went to the waters prentending to be playing with the water. He came and dragged me out of the water. we strolled without a word and I asked him to take me home. He did.

He called when he got home. I was cold to him so, he promised to call again but since then Ive refused to pick his calls or reply his texts.

The big question is ..
WHY DID HE BLUNTLY REFUSE A VASECTOMY?

COULD HE HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES?

IS IT NOT BETTER TO OPT OUT NOW THAN PRETEND I DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE AND END UP IN REGRETS?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A MAN KICKS AGAINST VASECTOMY?

you are selfish

Op is just being selfish. Nothing more. Perhaps childish too. You don't get to dictate for God. You are trying to eat your cake and have it.
Lemme tell you, the guy is even nice and perhaps just deceiving you for the sake of love or lust or whatever. You suspected this and now decided to commit him to the deal by insisting on vasectomy.
If you don't change this your childish stance, you won't get true love o.
Instead just go and find all those after one men so they can dance to your tune.
You are forming oyinbo. Oyinbo sef no de insist on vasectomy. Have you exhausted all the family planning methods for you to conclude that they won't work for you? I pity you and your mentality.

..... Rubbish

Mercychen:
You are dumb.
I'm sure you didn't read my op cos your comment and reaction is obviously based off other people's comments otherwise you will see where I said we were discussing and I " suggested". It was a suggestion not mandatory. He has a choice to accept or reject it.

Miss "intelligent" Hanty. In your intelligence, you thought it would be wise to make a full grown African man sterile because of your selfish reasons

Why bring up the suggestion in the first place? You said you felt "alone" when he asked you to do the birth control but you didn't feel alone when you suggested it to him abi? May no man fall into your trap not even a SIMPle man.

Be like you go take clay mould your dream man ooo cause you no fit get such a person or better still, go for a widower that has finished bearing as someone suggested. Don't destroy a young man's future with your selfishness and wickedness. Witches these days no be only those wey dey fly. The one wey dey pain me Na be say you dey claim Christian and you're this selfish. Please tell this to your pastor and his wife if them no go shame on your behalf.

Lastly, you need to check your mental health. There's actually a thin line between feminism and wickedness. You're slowing crossing that line and punishing an innocent young man in the process.

May God help us wey never marry make we no go carry weyrey put for house ooo

Mercychen:
Hi fam.

Something has been bothering me of late and leaving me emotionally and mentally stressed and drained for the past weeks and I'm cut between the devil and the deep blue sea.

There's this bro we're trying to see if we can work things out. though, I never really wanted anything relationship again or at least for now until I'm decided later in the future on what I really want for myself.

Before, I delve into the main discuss , let
me quickly highlight how it all started.

Some months back, My publisher came to deliver the books I ordered for. So while sorting the books, he just got teasing me like " Babes, na wa o. What's up with your romantic life now?. I've never seen you pulling with anyone. It's always work, biz Money money money I see you pursuing. Lol... I just told him, guy, free me abeg and I went on counting the books at the boot of his car.

He now walked up to me and said, on a more serious note, what is happening? So I told him it's a personal choice cos I dont have the strength for relationship brouhaha now. He agreed with me that truly its not easy and even as a married man, he too feels the heat but the good thing is, he married in the Lord. So I should choose wisely from among the brethren.

So he said, he has this family friend, an eligible bachelor, who wants a decent lady and I'm the one that comes to mind each time the guy mentions it because since he's be dealing with me, he can vouch that I'm a very honest, hard-working and decent lady. So he would want the bro to have me.
That was how I got to meet bro.

Now fastforward to the main reason of this post.
There was this particular day we tripped out to cool off and discuss about US. So we got talking and planning on how to build our home in a way that we will not be caught unawares with some setbacks and unplanned responsibilities. So the issue of children came up and I suggested we have only one, which he reluctantly accepted after much convincing. So we tried to look at ways we can maintain that decision and I suggested a vasectomy. citing the possibilities of health risks (as a result of mismatches ) and failures that might occur if the family planning is done on me but with vasectomy, no issues. He looked me in the eyes and said, "my darling" no!

I was dumbfounded.... And became a little worried because, if he has no plans of having more children, why would he kick against the idea of a vasectomy?

If we are going to be one and follow one course, why shying away from a plan that will benefit us as a couple and a family?


Could it be, he only agreed to have one with me and plans to have more else where?
Is vasectomy a life threatening condition?

I was still trying to wrap my head around his refusal, when he said, it will be done on you ( the family planning). That instant, I felt all alone, like im on my own. So I told him I needed to cool off, and he said feel free.
I left the tent and went to the waters prentending to be playing with the water. He came and dragged me out of the water. we strolled without a word and I asked him to take me home. He did.

He called when he got home. I was cold to him so, he promised to call again but since then Ive refused to pick his calls or reply his texts.

The big question is ..
WHY DID HE BLUNTLY REFUSE A VASECTOMY?

COULD HE HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES?

IS IT NOT BETTER TO OPT OUT NOW THAN PRETEND I DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE AND END UP IN REGRETS?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A MAN KICKS AGAINST VASECTOMY?

You are a very unreasonable, selfish, and unrealistic person. Please stay single forever! Do not go and bring pain and suffering to an innocent man.
What happened to meeting someone halfway? Must everything end the way you like it or hell breaks loose? The nerve you have asking a man to become sterile because YOU want only one child. Please pull your head out of your books and face the real world, you are asking somebody’s son for too much. I bet you wouldn’t want your son to do the same under such circumstances. I pray the guy sees the light and runs a billion miles away from you and your insecure, selfish self . Onye ara!

Flier:
The thread is just giving me headache,how can a lady be this wicked? I feels like sending soldiers to her house to teach her a lesson

Honestly Sir. She isn't OK at all. May no innocent man fall for her. Amen

Marriage is for 2 willing fools not one person doing oversabi...

Jadell /patches:4-5 years duration

IUD:10-14 years

And both reversible.
*You can also steer clear during your fertile days....Also use Menstrogen pills just before... and ...after.

You don't need to insist on 1 child for him...

If u are afraid of the pains of carrying pregnancy to term+ labour pains or risk involved AND u have money, surrogacy comes to mind....

Not be must for u to carry belly to make family with hubby...With understanding and manner of approach everything u see as a mountain, will just be easily sorted out especially if the man no be wahala type and likeable.

@Mercychen, I think you once mentioned on a thread that you have a child (out of wedlock) already. So, you will have two & the innocent guy will have one. Just tell me the bolded is wrong.

No dey use religion cover face, abeg. You could be doing more harm to the Christendom.

ImoleNaija:
@Mercychen, I think you once mentioned on a thread that you have a child (out of wedlock) already. So, you will have two & the innocent guy will have one. Just tell me the bolded is wrong.

You miss road?

Where and when did I say that?
If I have a child, I'm not like the pretenders here, I'll say it.

Stop accusing me falsely, please. You will not like the repercussion.

What a thread!

Op, is someone I have been following for awhile on this forum because I have some liking for her.

Mercychen, from your post, there's nothing amiss with the guy. You just need to work on yourself!

The challenge is within!

My guess is that you have some insecurities you are yet to overcome. I maybe wrong.

You have my best wishes.

Mercychen:
Thats why Ive stopped picking his calls. Let him look for someone that will give him battalion.



What was it they talked about. Just brief me. I would have gone to YouTube to watch it but right now I'm too tired to watch anything or reason straight.

I'm really stressed.

Please stay single for a longer while, you need it. You’re blindsided to your narcissistic tendencies. You want just one child but insists the man gets the vasectomy? So you can change your mind later and get pregnant while he most likely remains sterile for life. You’re wicked.

Mercychen:
You miss road?

Where and when did I say that?
If I have a child, I'm not like the pretenders here, I'll say it.

Stop accusing me falsely, please. You will not like the repercussion.

Sorry, I think I mistook you for someone else. You're still selfish though. Allow the poor man go, abeg.

Samcent:
What a thread!

Op, is someone I have been following for awhile on this forum because I have some liking for her.

Mercychen, from your post, there's nothing amiss with the guy. You just need to work on yourself!

The challenge is within!

My guess is that you have some insecurities you are yet to overcome. I maybe wrong.

You have my best wishes.

Ok.
Thanks dear.

Mercychen:
A slight twist you call it but I've heard of so many women who later had issues with family planning they did.

It's easier for the men because their system is not so complex like that of women.



We already discussed about all the other methods especially condom and he said, for how long is he going to be using condom on his life time wife. He already kicked against the idea.

Woh, I'm tired.

God forbid, but just like D'banj, your only child drowns in the swimming pool, you will look for a sperm donor ABI?
What advice will you then give your obedient husband?

cayorday89:
At times we need to look beyond the personality of the person posting or creating a thread, if the topic is worth commenting on we should do because issues like are what many people face but don't know where to turn to, but they coming across it will help in their decision making.

I don't care about the personality of the person. I just think that the story sounds like fiction.

Nawa

Mad People full everywhere oh.

Even Nairaland is not left out.

This better be a good fiction and not a reality.

Pinkzebra:
He doesn't have an ulterior motive, but he is scared . As an African man, knowing he can't impregnate a woman and doing that willinging will wreck his ego. Since you brought the game of having one child , then cut off your fallopian tube . Is not risky , at least you get your period and get to enjoy sex without fear of pregnancy . So bear the burnt and leave him out or better still keep trying until you get a man who will dance to your tune .


On a lighter note : may my son not meet a woman like you, iseeeee!

May wey never be that unfortunate in life iseeeee

cayorday89:
For your last paragraph, you carry the matter for head and even insult the man you are trying to defend when you barely know him, they are going into a relationship with marriage in view, some things have to be discussed and if both parties can't come into agreement, they can peacefully go their separate ways but you made it sound like she is forcing the guy to accept her decisions.

Oga leave story, she is trying to manipulate the guy into doing nonsense. Manipulation is even worse than forcing because It is a mental state you can almost never recover from. Just like Kanye West says slavery is a decision meaning they were mentally slaved even if they didn't want it, so my brother a mental state of being manipulated is the worst.

Don't fall for this tricks brother.

truthsayer009:


Oga leave story, she is trying to manipulate the guy into doing nonsense. Manipulation is even worse than forcing because It is a mental state you can almost never recover from. Just like Kanye West says slavery is a decision meaning they were mentally slaved even if they didn't want it, so my brother a mental state of being manipulated is the worst.

Don't fall for this tricks brother.

My Oga, it's her decision and she brought it up, if the guy is not up for it, he can back off, and everyone have their peace of mind. It's only the lady that is seeing this comments not the guy at least not to our knowledge that he does, so it's okay to give our own views to either make her see reasons why she needs to stick to it or find someone else who shares in this her decision. We can't be ranting on behalf of the guy and talking about manipulation when the said guy won't even see the comment or do you expect her to show her all these comments for him to say no or yes to her idea.


Is it that people don't see couples with just a single child or we see and conclude that they have spiritual matters, I know of a friend, my classmate whom we attended same secondary schools(the two secondary schools we both attended) he was the only child of his parents and they are Igbo and catholic, it would be very stupid of me to assume or hold on to the opinion that they have medical issues or spiritual problems when I have no tangible reason as to why it is so and many at times my younger sister who works as a Pharmacist in a quite big hospital always says she envies some couples who are very comfortable but have just one and in some cases two children because of how they conveniently clears their bill unlike some who have multiple births or some even have to force themselves to hospital due to the illness persisting after trying a cheaper means. It's not about her been selfish but her honesty to discuss this and if it does not work out should move on and find another who suits her.

cayorday89:
My Oga, it's her decision and she brought it up, if the guy is not up for it, he can back off, and everyone have their peace of mind. It's only the lady that is seeing this comments not the guy at least not to our knowledge that he does, so it's okay to give our own views to either make her see reasons why she needs to stick to it or find someone else who shares in this her decision. We can't be ranting on behalf of the guy and talking about manipulation when the said guy won't even see the comment or do you expect her to show her all these comments for him to say no or yes to her idea.


Is it that people don't see couples with just a single child or we see and conclude that they have spiritual matters, I know of a friend, my classmate whom we attended same secondary schools(the two secondary schools we both attended) he was the only child of his parents and they are Igbo and catholic, it would be very stupid of me to assume or hold on to the opinion that they have medical issues or spiritual problems when I have no tangible reason as to why it is so and many at times my younger sister who works as a Pharmacist in a quite big hospital always says she envies some couples who are very comfortable but have just one and in some cases two children because of how they conveniently clears their bill unlike some who have multiple births or some even have to force themselves to hospital due to the illness persisting after trying a cheaper means. It's not about her been selfish but her honesty to discuss this and if it does not work out should move on and find another who suits her.

I'm sure you saw how she explained the matter as if the guy had no right to his own choices while she has a right to be angry that he is not interested in whatever vasectomy that she is presenting.

As she wrote and I quote her:
- Could it be, he only agreed to have one with me and plans to have more else where?
Is vasectomy a life threatening condition?

- I was still trying to wrap my head around his refusal, when he said, it will be done on you ( the family planning). That instant, I felt all alone, like im on my own. So I told him I needed to cool off, and he said feel free.
I left the tent and went to the waters prentending to be playing with the water. He came and dragged me out of the water. we strolled without a word and I asked him to take me home. He did.

- He called when he got home. I was cold to him so, he promised to call again but since then Ive refused to pick his calls or reply his texts.

- WHY DID HE BLUNTLY REFUSE A VASECTOMY?

Is he a baby?, does he not have rights to his own options. Which one is why did he Bluntly refuse!

Everything she wrote here is her being angry that someone would refuse their request, she is angry because someone exercised their rights.

Conclusion: You are pretending like you cannot read or assimilate what she wrote in direct and proper english. What we are telling you the same way a woman has rights is the same way a man has rights. If you like dull yourself, na you sabi oh.

truthsayer009:
I'm sure you saw how she explained the matter as if the guy had no right to his own choices while she has a right to be angry that he is not interested in whatever vasectomy that she is presenting.

As she wrote and I quote her:
- Could it be, he only agreed to have one with me and plans to have more else where?
Is vasectomy a life threatening condition?

- I was still trying to wrap my head around his refusal, when he said, it will be done on you ( the family planning). That instant, I felt all alone, like im on my own. So I told him I needed to cool off, and he said feel free.
I left the tent and went to the waters prentending to be playing with the water. He came and dragged me out of the water. we strolled without a word and I asked him to take me home. He did.

- He called when he got home. I was cold to him so, he promised to call again but since then Ive refused to pick his calls or reply his texts.

- WHY DID HE BLUNTLY REFUSE A VASECTOMY?

Is he a baby?, does he not have rights to his own options. Which one is why did he Bluntly refuse!

Everything she wrote here is her being angry that someone would refuse their request, she is angry because someone exercised their rights.

Conclusion: You are pretending like you cannot read or assimilate what she wrote in direct and proper english. Oga no be so na!

Not so boss, if you see my earlier comments, I said I won't be able to agree with a kid if it was me, and in the case of a vasectomy I would rather think about that when I get to the bridge, I even made her understand that what if she finally finds one who agrees and she ends up having a twin or triplets will she kill them to leave just one? Also they can come to a conclusion that is favorable for both cos some things decisions are hard to take. And the reason why I can't address the guy is cos he won't be reading it, and if he does my advice is simply think and take the decision that suits you. I don't have to personalize it by attacking her or insulting the guy and calling him a simp like most commenters did as if they were sure he agreed to it.

Mercychen:
Hi fam.

Something has been bothering me of late and leaving me emotionally and mentally stressed and drained for the past weeks and I'm cut between the devil and the deep blue sea.

There's this bro we're trying to see if we can work things out. though, I never really wanted anything relationship again or at least for now until I'm decided later in the future on what I really want for myself.

Before, I delve into the main discuss , let
me quickly highlight how it all started.

Some months back, My publisher came to deliver the books I ordered for. So while sorting the books, he just got teasing me like " Babes, na wa o. What's up with your romantic life now?. I've never seen you pulling with anyone. It's always work, biz Money money money I see you pursuing. Lol... I just told him, guy, free me abeg and I went on counting the books at the boot of his car.

He now walked up to me and said, on a more serious note, what is happening? So I told him it's a personal choice cos I dont have the strength for relationship brouhaha now. He agreed with me that truly its not easy and even as a married man, he too feels the heat but the good thing is, he married in the Lord. So I should choose wisely from among the brethren.

So he said, he has this family friend, an eligible bachelor, who wants a decent lady and I'm the one that comes to mind each time the guy mentions it because since he's be dealing with me, he can vouch that I'm a very honest, hard-working and decent lady. So he would want the bro to have me.
That was how I got to meet bro.

Now fastforward to the main reason of this post.
There was this particular day we tripped out to cool off and discuss about US. So we got talking and planning on how to build our home in a way that we will not be caught unawares with some setbacks and unplanned responsibilities. So the issue of children came up and I suggested we have only one, which he reluctantly accepted after much convincing. So we tried to look at ways we can maintain that decision and I suggested a vasectomy. citing the possibilities of health risks (as a result of mismatches ) and failures that might occur if the family planning is done on me but with vasectomy, no issues. He looked me in the eyes and said, "my darling" no!

I was dumbfounded.... And became a little worried because, if he has no plans of having more children, why would he kick against the idea of a vasectomy?

If we are going to be one and follow one course, why shying away from a plan that will benefit us as a couple and a family?


Could it be, he only agreed to have one with me and plans to have more else where?
Is vasectomy a life threatening condition?

I was still trying to wrap my head around his refusal, when he said, it will be done on you ( the family planning). That instant, I felt all alone, like im on my own. So I told him I needed to cool off, and he said feel free.
I left the tent and went to the waters prentending to be playing with the water. He came and dragged me out of the water. we strolled without a word and I asked him to take me home. He did.

He called when he got home. I was cold to him so, he promised to call again but since then Ive refused to pick his calls or reply his texts.

The big question is ..
WHY DID HE BLUNTLY REFUSE A VASECTOMY?

COULD HE HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES?

IS IT NOT BETTER TO OPT OUT NOW THAN PRETEND I DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE AND END UP IN REGRETS?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A MAN KICKS AGAINST VASECTOMY?

I dont know how real you are with your write-up though, but 2 kids is the best one could wish for. After 2 kids, there is a natural way of preventing pregnancy with no intake of any substance. I need a cool lady though, but it gat to be 2 kids.

Mercychen:
Exactly!
God bless you.



You know with the female family planning comes a lot of risk and issues of mismatch or even failure which leads to unwanted pregnancies. While the male type is safer and with less risks.

The female option is also safe and reliable... You can opt for LEVOPLANT, IMPLANON NXT or PROGESTA as it helps to prevent unwanted for a long duration. LEVOPLANT (planted in your body) prevent unwanted pregnancy for a period of 5 years while you renew thereafter. You can walk into any Pharmacy to get it.

https://www.dktnigeria.org/products/#contraceptive2

honeyandbanana.com
For enquiries; Toll free line: 55059

Joe4real1988:
I dont know how real you are with your write-up though, but 2 kids is the best one could wish for. After 2 kids, there is a natural way of preventing pregnancy with no intake of any substance. I need a cool lady though, but it gat to be 2 kids.

That's not reliable... using a contraceptive is better.

Mercychen:
Hi fam.

Something has been bothering me of late and leaving me emotionally and mentally stressed and drained for the past weeks and I'm cut between the devil and the deep blue sea.

There's this bro we're trying to see if we can work things out. though, I never really wanted anything relationship again or at least for now until I'm decided later in the future on what I really want for myself.

Before, I delve into the main discuss , let
me quickly highlight how it all started.

Some months back, My publisher came to deliver the books I ordered for. So while sorting the books, he just got teasing me like " Babes, na wa o. What's up with your romantic life now?. I've never seen you pulling with anyone. It's always work, biz Money money money I see you pursuing. Lol... I just told him, guy, free me abeg and I went on counting the books at the boot of his car.

He now walked up to me and said, on a more serious note, what is happening? So I told him it's a personal choice cos I dont have the strength for relationship brouhaha now. He agreed with me that truly its not easy and even as a married man, he too feels the heat but the good thing is, he married in the Lord. So I should choose wisely from among the brethren.

So he said, he has this family friend, an eligible bachelor, who wants a decent lady and I'm the one that comes to mind each time the guy mentions it because since he's be dealing with me, he can vouch that I'm a very honest, hard-working and decent lady. So he would want the bro to have me.
That was how I got to meet bro.

Now fastforward to the main reason of this post.
There was this particular day we tripped out to cool off and discuss about US. So we got talking and planning on how to build our home in a way that we will not be caught unawares with some setbacks and unplanned responsibilities. So the issue of children came up and I suggested we have only one, which he reluctantly accepted after much convincing. So we tried to look at ways we can maintain that decision and I suggested a vasectomy. citing the possibilities of health risks (as a result of mismatches ) and failures that might occur if the family planning is done on me but with vasectomy, no issues. He looked me in the eyes and said, "my darling" no!

I was dumbfounded.... And became a little worried because, if he has no plans of having more children, why would he kick against the idea of a vasectomy?

If we are going to be one and follow one course, why shying away from a plan that will benefit us as a couple and a family?


Could it be, he only agreed to have one with me and plans to have more else where?
Is vasectomy a life threatening condition?

I was still trying to wrap my head around his refusal, when he said, it will be done on you ( the family planning). That instant, I felt all alone, like im on my own. So I told him I needed to cool off, and he said feel free.
I left the tent and went to the waters prentending to be playing with the water. He came and dragged me out of the water. we strolled without a word and I asked him to take me home. He did.

He called when he got home. I was cold to him so, he promised to call again but since then Ive refused to pick his calls or reply his texts.

The big question is ..
WHY DID HE BLUNTLY REFUSE A VASECTOMY?

COULD HE HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES?

IS IT NOT BETTER TO OPT OUT NOW THAN PRETEND I DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE AND END UP IN REGRETS?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A MAN KICKS AGAINST VASECTOMY?

Why did you refuse it on you? Probably same reason he refused. J

Prettiepearlz:
In my opinion, this is how marital problems start oooo. That man did not agree wholeheartedly with your one child policy, he reluctantly agreed after much conviction from you and no one knows how much energy you put into convincing him to agree to your one child rule. Personally, I am not a fan of plenty kids in this our not so friendly economy however it has to be an agreement that from both parties willingly and not reluctantly. That being said, the NO clearly means NO and it is an indication that they guy is not on board with your plans and probably plans to sort himself out in the future perhaps it could ego or ignorance about the vasectomy procedure. Besides you are the one who wants one child, the responsibility is on you to prevent yourself from having another. He clearly doesn't agree with your suggestions and you know it. Let him go and you can find someone who agrees with what you want. If you eventually coerce him into doing your bidding, he will resent you later on in your marriage and trust me you don't want to live with that. Find someone else who agrees with you and your wants and please let him also get someone else to give him the number of kids he wants. You two are clearly not on the same page. Finally your reasons for not wanting to be the one to do the child control is very selfish. You come off selfish with your assertions. I wish you both the best in your endeavours.

I love you for being objective with no sentiment. She wants one child, she is a strong willed type. Coerced the guy to accepting her decision. You want the man to be rendered impotent for life. What if the one child dies after the vasectomy. You will dump him and remarry because you are fertile, he is impotent. Vasectomy is irreversible, female family planning is reversible. So no rational man will accept your proposal of vasectomy given that you restricted the number of children to only one. Childlessness which can happen if that one dies can become a future fuel for breakup thereby making that man a fool for life. So you try and increase the number of children to say five and see if he won't accept the vasectomy. It's not about his ego, it's about the foolishness of falling for you all the time, it can mess up his life. Women abandon impotent men later on for gateman, cook etc just the way men do to women. Forget nonsense love talk and reason

The lady is crazy, she should tie her fallopian tubes instead or remove her womb, afterall she is the one who suggested having one kid. What if they divorce along the line, and the man remarries, he will not be able to Father other kids. We should learn to tell ourselves the truth and be realistic. I see her as a selfish and proud person, they are not a good match.

Echoban:
Which doctor told u that?? Or u heard sisi news from market women bah..

IUD can be fixed on u, it last for 10 years ..


Ego won't even allow an average African man to do vasectomy. The taught of becoming sterile alone can rip a man off his lane..

With u Tubaligation ur uterus can still carry a child while harvesting ur oocyte. But with vasectomy, it's over for the man.. even a man at 80 who is dieing won't agree to that taught. U get mind to even discuss that nonscence. Fear no even catch u ni
If na me b the man I go run away from u..

Wonder why people are supporting that crazy idea.
That was why I said women have many options. Men don't. Why not try all the free options first. But no, tie the man. How many oyibo men will accept that?

I know this thread is simply for discussion anyway.
I will never support a selfish cause.

Mercychen:
You are the weyrey here. cos all I did was suggest and I never forced it on him. So what's weyrey about that?

Since when has it become a crime to express my thoughts and declare my choice?

Ok, would you rather he forces his choice of having a battalion on me even when I don't want it?

Reason before you talk next time.

And then you are using manipulative technique on him, he suggested you have it on your body, you felt alone, became angry and needed some fresh air "e fresh air okhian gbuwe vagbon!"

Aparche:
Funny enough it's mostly the females on this platform that are quarreling with her about her decision, you can even feel their hatred for the op...nawa o!

She has her preferences and wisely brought it up during courtship... it's now left for the other party to go along with it or they go their separate ways.

Abeg what crime has she committed?

All I can see is that many people calling her names and casting aspersions are speaking from a place of personal dislike or hatred for the op.

Vasectomy in uk is from 17 to 21%. Among the highest in the world.
Percentage of women using contraceptive in uk is 84%.
Go figure. It's among the highest in the world too
Do the math then.
This is a country where women reign supreme and men are the lowest on the ladder.

Leave sane women out of this.
Sometimes we prefer to be in utopia than face reality. That's not feminism.

descarado:
Vasectomy in uk is from 17 to 21%. Among the highest in the world.
Percentage of women using contraceptive in uk is 84%.
Go figure. It's among the highest in the world too
Do the math then.
This is a country where women reign supreme and men are the lowest on the ladder.

Leave sane women out of this.
Sometimes we prefer to be in utopia than face reality. That's not feminism.

She is looking for how many men to render dickless, this one that can't even stay in a relationship with her red flag character. Let someone castrate himself for you, 2 years you ve seen some fault in him, you pack up, you move on to the next and still demand castration, Dem toke makinwa dem, guys should beware, the devil is a woman

SeedofAbraham:
That's not reliable... using a contraceptive is better.

It is dear. Have practiced that for a year with no Bleep-up