₦airaland Forum

Ishilove:
This guy can't you just write in a less convoluted manner?? Ahn ahn what is all these na

You are not afraid to address an elder statesman as this "guy;" I wonder what gave you the morale.

Foodqueen:
Your twin isn't fond of you,the way u are of her.

Give her space...

True she's not fond of me especially since we became adults and started having relationships with the opposite sex up to the time she got married.

I'll try.

Ishilove:
Mercychen, follow this advice. Absence makes the heart grow fonder so let her feel your absence by making yourself less available

Ok.
Will try.

ahnie:
Okwu umu ejima

O di egu.

faithfull18:
Don't spend too much time in your neighbor's house. Otherwise, they'll get fed up with you and hate you. - the Bible said so not me.

Too much of everything is bad, from time to time, people need their space.

Ok.
Thanks.

Edunjobi Ejire! Didnt know you are a twin. Do you guys look alike? Hmmmm....I love twins!

Meanwhile, shes your sister biko....heard one of you duo is usually recessive while the other is dominant. Your sis is probably the dominant one. Na today you just know her attitude? Biko no vex.....next time make your soap or buy from around. Your sister likes money too much....take the part of her behaviour you can condole and avoid her around the other part. No go resemble one yeye twin I know, dude dislikes and doesnt talk to his twin brother! Shocking!

Do well o soul sisters.

Mercychen:
I'm just fed up!
She does things I'll never do and if I do, I'll be the first to call and make up.

She's fond of one silly character ( cutting my call in the middle of our conversation) and that she did again this morning that made me delete her number.

Ok. I did a little renovation in my crib. So I needed a tile cleaner and called her to supply me ( she's into household products). She told me the price and I said ok. Bring it down, so the boys working for me can clean the tiles. She now said, i should pay for her transportation. I was like, why? It's your biz, if you want to sell, sell. besides I'm into production of household cleaners and reagents too. so it's something I can produce but I'm looking at shuttling between going to the market and supervising the ongoing work in my house, the time is not there that was why I said let me buy from her.
So, she insisted I must pay for transportation fare.

This morning, I called her to bring the product that I'll give her part of the T-fare, she said the chemical is not available that she'll have to go and get materials to produce first. So I said i can't wait.
Later I said ok, just come around and play with me, lets just sit together and supervise. I told her to come with her baby so we can play. I now told her not to worry that I'll give her T-fare The next thing she just billed me times two of her T-fair to and fro. I said, for what? She just cut the call.

Now, it's been years she came to my place. Always giving excuses about tending to the children, her business and other duties in the home to which I try to understand. So Ive been the one going there almost twice every week because I have two schools in her area. So, on days I have those schools, it's her place I retire to after school and we would gist till night before I take my leave.
Same thing with calls. Shell hardly call and when I call, she'll take it for granted to the point where any little disagreement or if things are not going her way, she'll cut the call.

When she did it this morning, I got angry and deleted her contact and I want to stop calling her. I think I'm being taken for a fool and she trusts the kinda person I am that once I make a U-turn, it will be difficult to turn back. It's just that I don't have the mind to be angry with someone for long. Before you know, I'll see myself calling her again reason I deleted her number.

How can I detach from her cos it's obvious she detached from me long ago.

I'm thinking of traveling to a far away country. I know then she'll Value and miss me more.

How can I ignore her?
Am I doing the right thing?

So annoying.

U are still confused. U don't know weda to ignore her or not.

@Mercychen
I honestly pity u!
The time u should use in raising your kids & attending to your own family issues, u are stalking your twin sister?
There is adage my mom always says in our native language & I will translate it for u in pidgin "By the time market fully start trading, everybody will face his or her own business". Do u know what that means?? When siblings get to certain age, they will face their own family, their own family becomes primary & that is exactly what your sister is doing. You want your married sister with kids & husband waiting for her attention to come play with u like a kid? You obviously have no idea of what comes with raising a family, because u are not married, so u can't understand your sister, because u are not in her shoes. All these your rants are early signs of loneliness & frustration, wait till u get older, it will become very clear to u.

The stress involved in taking care of children and doing business at the same time is too much that she might not notice your absence self . Just understand. Stress can make one easily irritated or angry. No vex for am .

From your write up.
Your sister is married with kids, you are still single.
Your sister have lots of free time despite been married, you barely have time for yourself.
Your sister is the extrovert, while you are an introvert.
Your sister doesn't love or value you half of what you do to her.

Your twin never move on, she was always moving ahead in life and kept leaving you behind.
You still have and cling to memories of your bliss sisterhood, while your sister just kept making new ones.

You want her to see you, and acknowledge the fact how both of you are alike, but all what she sees is you trying to make her see what you want her to see. You yearn for her attention, while she makes it a scarce commodity. She knows this because you are making it obvious by putting too much effort.

You want to leave the country because of something so petty as to get your sister's attention. Is it obsession? Your sister is not your other half, her husband is already.

You might be identical but it so fascinating how so different both of you are.

You are the better of the two.
My advice is this: do not move on by making yourself scarce; just make a visual of a life that doesn't involve your sister.
I noticed you work in two schools close to her area. You chose to work there not for the money, it is because you don't want to be far from her, even if it is causing you stress and T-fare.
Don't make her see you, what you need to see is yourself (make introspect) you have always been better with or without her.
People will start seeing you, when you stop looking at people.
A philosopher once said " Man know thyself"

sisisioge:


Edunjobi Ejire! Didnt know you are a twin. Do you guys look alike? Hmmmm....I love twins!

Meanwhile, shes your sister biko....heard one of you duo is usually recessive while the other is dominant. Your sis is probably the dominant one. Na today you just know her attitude? Biko no vex.....next time make your soap or buy from around. Your sister likes money too much....take the part of her behaviour you can condole and avoid her around the other part. No go resemble one yeye twin I know, dude dislikes and doesnt talk to his twin brother! Shocking!

Do well o soul sisters.

My dear. I'm a twin o.

Ill try and avoid her annoying side.

Since morning I've been itching to call her but Ive held back so strongly. She too has not bothered to call. .

Mercychen:
My dear. I'm a twin o.

Ill try and avoid her annoying side.

Since morning I've been itching to call her but Ive held back so strongly. She too has not bothered to call. .

Dont call for the next two days biko....I'm sure she would call you. Pele Edunjobi Ejire

Mercychen:
My dear. I'm a twin o.

Ill try and avoid her annoying side.

Since morning I've been itching to call her but Ive held back so strongly. She too has not bothered to call. .

Ignore her and call a man you like instead.

M si ka’m nye gi odumodu ugbu a, ya di ka…

Lol I'm twins please don't hate her

Mariangeles:
Ignore her and call a man you like instead.

M si ka’m nye gi odumodu ugbu a, ya di ka…

Ok.
Thanks.

Mercychen:
Ok.
Thanks.

A ma’m na mu na gi anaghi ekwetakari, mana a huru’m gi di ka nwanne’m. Let me know if you got it.

Omowoolata:
Lol I'm twins please don't hate her

Lol.. ok I won't hate her.

Hope your twin is not acting up.

Thanks dear.

Mercychen:
Lol.. ok I won't hate her.

Hope your twin is not acting up.

Thanks dear.

She's a very cool girl. I'm a guy btw

Mercychen:
I'm just fed up!

Get your own baby(ies). They will keep you company and won't cut you off for the next 18 years minimum

You're no longer a wealthy grandmother?

Mercychen:
I'm just fed up!
She does things I'll never do and if I do, I'll be the first to call and make up.

She's fond of one silly character ( cutting my call in the middle of our conversation) and that she did again this morning that made me delete her number.

Ok. I did a little renovation in my crib. So I needed a tile cleaner and called her to supply me ( she's into household products). She told me the price and I said ok. Bring it down, so the boys working for me can clean the tiles. She now said, i should pay for her transportation. I was like, why? It's your biz, if you want to sell, sell. besides I'm into production of household cleaners and reagents too. so it's something I can produce but I'm looking at shuttling between going to the market and supervising the ongoing work in my house, the time is not there that was why I said let me buy from her.
So, she insisted I must pay for transportation fare.

This morning, I called her to bring the product that I'll give her part of the T-fare, she said the chemical is not available that she'll have to go and get materials to produce first. So I said i can't wait.
Later I said ok, just come around and play with me, lets just sit together and supervise. I told her to come with her baby so we can play. I now told her not to worry that I'll give her T-fare The next thing she just billed me times two of her T-fair to and fro. I said, for what? She just cut the call.

Now, it's been years she came to my place. Always giving excuses about tending to the children, her business and other duties in the home to which I try to understand. So Ive been the one going there almost twice every week because I have two schools in her area. So, on days I have those schools, it's her place I retire to after school and we would gist till night before I take my leave.
Same thing with calls. Shell hardly call and when I call, she'll take it for granted to the point where any little disagreement or if things are not going her way, she'll cut the call.

When she did it this morning, I got angry and deleted her contact and I want to stop calling her. I think I'm being taken for a fool and she trusts the kinda person I am that once I make a U-turn, it will be difficult to turn back. It's just that I don't have the mind to be angry with someone for long. Before you know, I'll see myself calling her again reason I deleted her number.

How can I detach from her cos it's obvious she detached from me long ago.

I'm thinking of traveling to a far away country. I know then she'll Value and miss me more.

How can I ignore her?
Am I doing the right thing?

So annoying.

Marry me and I'll keep you busy to forget her.

Mercychen:
Hmmm.. deep. I'm speechless.

Ok. I've heard. But I'll wait and see if she calls, otherwise I'll just let her be.

Thank you so much.

Some people say there is no family in business but I beg to differ. In your case you guys mixed business with family and somehow at least one person is offended. I will say its bad practice to sell stuff commercially to close family members. Family members relationship should never be transactional.

I dont see why you offered to buy her products in the first instance. You could tell her you have a new place that you expect her as you twinnie to come do house washing and if she cant she should send her chemicals. She gets the message and jokingly asks that you to support her financially and somehow an agreement is reached.

At this rate if you are getting married and you ask her to help with catering or ushering, she will send you a bill

In my opinion its bads practice to have a relationship with a close relation premised on arms-lenght commercial terms. It kills the spirit of love thay should exist between both.

Dont make that mistake with your kids

Resurgent2016:
Some people say there is no family in business but I beg to differ. In your case you guys mixed business with family and somehow at least one person is offended. I will say its bad practice to sell stuff commercially to close family members. Family members relationship should never be transactional.

I dont see why you offered to buy her products in the first instance. You could tell her you have a new place that you expect her as you twinnie to come do house washing and if she cant she should send her chemicals. She gets the message and jokingly asks that you to support her financially and somehow an agreement is reached.

At this rate if you are getting married and you ask her to help with catering or ushering, she will send you a bill

In my opinion its bads practice to have a relationship with a close relation premised on arms-lenght commercial terms. It kills the spirit of love thay should exist between both.

Dont make that mistake with your kids

Ok. Lesson learnt.
Thank you.

He's typing with a dictionary and encyclopedia. Ndi Queens English

Ishilove:
This guy can't you just write in a less convoluted manner?? Ahn ahn what is all these na

I might be wrong but it seems you have a codependent relationship with her and that is not healthy. You could benefit from counseling if you could afford it. She is not codependent on you so it causes you stress to be apart from her. It just means she has a healthier relationship with you and you have an unhealthy attachment to her. Look into this and find ways to help yourself detach so you could have a healthy relationship with her. There's no need for these extremes: seeing her twice a week every week or cutting her off all together.

Double0h7:
I might be wrong but it seems you have a codependent relationship with her and that is not healthy. You could benefit from counseling if you could afford it. She is not codependent on you so it causes you stress to be apart from her. It just means she has a healthier relationship with you and you have an unhealthy attachment to her. Look into this and find ways to help yourself detach so you could have a healthy relationship with her. There's no need for these extremes: seeing her twice a week every week or cutting her off all together.

Ok, thanks.

Mercychen:
Yes. My identical twin. One egg.

am a twin too. I neva 4 once querrel with him. We are 5 n 6.

na becuz una be female. Una jux dey disgrace unaself. .

damn.. so pathetic to hear this

Lol, she is just happy to know you will always call don't take it to thehet or heart. Family matters.

For a sec I thought I was the one who wrote this thread because I am a twin too and I'm in similar situation though not too extreme..
She's an extrovert while I am an introvert, growing up and up till now I never made any personal friend, she was the one making friends and I shared them with her, even my father noticed it then and said since I gave birth to you I have never seen anyone coming here to look for you and say she's your friend.Instead your twin sister is who they are looking for.

Now we all grown up, I am the one that is yearning for her company the more, she has moved on gone to school made tons of friends but she is the only friend I have and discusses things with but for she there are plenty people that have taken over her heart and I get jealous most times because I get to share her attention with others.

Even when I become angry at her and say I will stay away from her I can't resist it, before you know I will pick up my phone to call her and start downloading gists for her, even though they are not interesting to her because my sense of what's funny is totally weird.

I am book intelligent than her but apart from that she pass me in other aspects of life like dancing, singing, making friends and a lively personality, street intelligence. We have other sisters but she's the one I prefer.

People see me as being rude and cold because I don't talk or laugh, if only they know that when they come close they will see that I am a shy girl, afraid to Start conversations and she on the other hand people see her as friendly and social.
Most of the time I hear people say I prefer hanging out with your twin sister than you because she is not quiet and boring. It makes me sad when I hear it

Mercychen:
I'm just fed up!
She does things I'll never do and if I do, I'll be the first to call and make up.

She's fond of one silly character ( cutting my call in the middle of our conversation) and that she did again this morning that made me delete her number.

Ok. I did a little renovation in my crib. So I needed a tile cleaner and called her to supply me ( she's into household products). She told me the price and I said ok. Bring it down, so the boys working for me can clean the tiles. She now said, i should pay for her transportation. I was like, why? It's your biz, if you want to sell, sell. besides I'm into production of household cleaners and reagents too. so it's something I can produce but I'm looking at shuttling between going to the market and supervising the ongoing work in my house, the time is not there that was why I said let me buy from her.
So, she insisted I must pay for transportation fare.

This morning, I called her to bring the product that I'll give her part of the T-fare, she said the chemical is not available that she'll have to go and get materials to produce first. So I said i can't wait.
Later I said ok, just come around and play with me, lets just sit together and supervise. I told her to come with her baby so we can play. I now told her not to worry that I'll give her T-fare The next thing she just billed me times two of her T-fair to and fro. I said, for what? She just cut the call.

Now, it's been years she came to my place. Always giving excuses about tending to the children, her business and other duties in the home to which I try to understand. So Ive been the one going there almost twice every week because I have two schools in her area. So, on days I have those schools, it's her place I retire to after school and we would gist till night before I take my leave.
Same thing with calls. Shell hardly call and when I call, she'll take it for granted to the point where any little disagreement or if things are not going her way, she'll cut the call.

When she did it this morning, I got angry and deleted her contact and I want to stop calling her. I think I'm being taken for a fool and she trusts the kinda person I am that once I make a U-turn, it will be difficult to turn back. It's just that I don't have the mind to be angry with someone for long. Before you know, I'll see myself calling her again reason I deleted her number.

How can I detach from her cos it's obvious she detached from me long ago.

I'm thinking of traveling to a far away country. I know then she'll Value and miss me more.

How can I ignore her?
Am I doing the right thing?

So annoying.

Jecci:
For a sec I thought I was the one who wrote this thread because I am a twin too and I'm in similar situation though not too extreme..
She's an extrovert while I am an introvert, growing up and up till now I never made any personal friend, she was the one making friends and I shared them with her, even my father noticed it then and said since I gave birth to you I have never seen anyone coming here to look for you and say she's your friend.Instead your twin sister is who they are looking for.

Now we all grown up, I am the one that is yearning for her company the more, she has moved on gone to school made tons of friends but she is the only friend I have and discusses things with but for she there are plenty people that have taken over her heart and I get jealous most times because I get to share her attention with others.

Even when I become angry at her and say I will stay away from her I can't resist it, before you know I will pick up my phone to call her and start downloading gists for her, even though they are not interesting to her because my sense of what's funny is totally weird.

I am book intelligent than her but apart from that she pass me in other aspects of life like dancing, singing, making friends and a lively personality, street intelligence. We have other sisters but she's the one I prefer.

People see me as being rude and cold because I don't talk or laugh, if only they know that when they come close they will see that I am a shy girl, afraid to Start conversations and she on the other hand people see her as friendly and social.
Most of the time I hear people say I prefer hanging out with your twin sister than you because she is not quiet and boring. It makes me sad when I hear it

Baby I love twins like kilode. But you need to try to find your own rhyme too....just try because she wont always be available to listen to your gist. Some day, shes going to build a complete life with very little room for you. Better be prepared. Edunjobi Ejire

author=Jecci post=108933491

Even when I become angry at her and say I will stay away from her I can't resist it, before you know I will pick up my phone to call her and start downloading gists for her, even though they are not interesting to her because my sense of what's funny is totally weird.

I am book intelligent than her but apart from that she pass me in other aspects of life like dancing, singing, making friends and a lively personality, street intelligence. We have other sisters but she's the one I prefer.

People see me as being rude and cold because I don't talk or laugh, if only they know that when they come close they will see that I am a shy girl, afraid to Start conversations and she on the other hand people see her as friendly and social.
Most of the time I hear people say I prefer hanging out with your twin sister than you because she is not quiet and boring. It makes me sad when I hear it

Wow this so us in secondary School. She easily made friends with people and they see me as the wicked twin who doesn't smile ( I don't smile even till now) so they avoid me. Only a few come close to me through her. I don't have friends even up till now and I don't care.

Such is life.

Hh

Mercychen:
Yes. My identical twin. One egg.

One Egg? For how many slices of bread? Is Tea included or Coffee?

I will never pay a friend for minor services rendered. And I tell my friends this.

I am an IT System Administrator. I repair systems for my friends at zero cost. If a part needs to be replaces, I will replace it without ant cost if I gave the part from probably an old system. If I don't have the part, I will charge them for the part.

I expect to make money from businesses that my friends will introduce me to, and not from charging my friends for minor services.

My current job was gotten for me by a friend. That's how you compensate your friends for favours. Now look at this, let's assume I have charged him at different times for minor services, will what I would have made from the small small charges be up to the salary I have been collecting from this job my friend introduced me for over 8 years now?

I have given him money a couple of times. Just a few hundreds of thousands to clear goods at the port, but that's peanut. I am looking forward to his daughter getting married in the next two to three years so that I can foot all the expenses without anyone knowing, after all, he didn't tell the whole world when he introduced me to the job I have been doing for over 8 years now.

If this is how I relate to my friends, why will I then pay my twin for helping me? It will never happen.

Yeah I will try to start finding my own rhyme, it's already happening gradually like this Christmas now she spent most of her time with her boyfriend and I was jealous a bit...so that sent a signal to me that it's actually time to come out of my shell, build my own company and have people I can hang out and call my own.

sisisioge:
Baby I love twins like kilode. But you need to try to find your own rhyme too....just try because she wont always be available to listen to your gist. Some day, shes going to build a complete life with very little room for you. Better be prepared. Edunjobi Ejire