I have been thinking of settling down this year. Probably before July. I proposed to my GF this January and hoping that soon we will tie the knot.

Now here comes the big issue. Due to the economic situation, I budgeted a certain amount of money to cover the traditional rite and white wedding. The money is not much though, but am not out to impress any one. I don't want a situation where after the marriage, I will be feeling the heat of trying save money and to meet up with house expenses.

I have collected list of things that will be needed for the trad. If am to do 1/3 of what's on the list, with the current market price of things, the money I bugdeted for everything including the wedding won't be enough for it.
I have tentatively heard from my wife people and the logistics they placed around the traded too is demanding and from the looks of things, I will be the one footing everything.

I won't start listing all the supposed expenses that I will make just to follow protocol, which to me are unnecessary. I have seen marriage taken places without all these protocols and heaven no fall.

I told my dad about my plans of spending low on the marriage, he said I should discuss with my in-laws to be through a distant uncle of my wife. That I have done and the response was that the money won't be enough.

For me God knows my intention. Am not out to please anyone. Am going there with what I have, my plan is to ensure I pay the bride price and organise a simple trad and wedding.

If the family of the girl refuse, I gather my things and leave.

If u have spend...na once e dey happen.

And after spending everything in marriage, what happened next?

donbachi:
If u have spend...na once e dey happen.

I won't say I have much sha. But the resource at my disposal is capable of organising an average wedding and trad. But i won't want to out myself under pressure.

Na wetin my spirit wan spend I dedicate.

Shey you nor kneel down propose to her o.

Dem nor dey carry 1st for inside o, do wetin your power reach make you leave the rest.

AltarBoy1:


I won't say I have much sha. But the resource at my disposal is capable of organising an average wedding and trad. But i won't want to out myself under pressure.

Na wetin my spirit wan spend I dedicate.

may GOD speedily send u financial help from far and near.ijn.

Talk to your fiancée and let her see reasons with you. I don't know what her culture/ family requires but you might be able to reduce the items in the list and also, the amount you spend for the wedding.

She's in the best place to convince her family and not an uncle (just my opinion).

AltarBoy1:
For me God knows my intention. Am not out to please anyone. Am going there with what I have, my plan is to ensure I pay the bride price and organise a simple trad and wedding.

If the family of the girl refuse, I gather my things and leave.

You claim you are not in it to "please anyone" yet you are focused on paying bride price in order to please your in-laws, why?

Marriage is an agreement between a man and a woman and if you two are serious, you can easily get your marriage registered in the courts and move on with your lives together that simply. Not sure why you created this thread to whine about your own choice to pander to others where your union is concerned.

Spend this money if you get.

I spent close to two point five for my wedding late last year and life moves on.

You spending for the sake of ur queen (wife)

If buying 1/3 of what you have on the list will eat up your savings, I will advise you to suspend that wedding completely. That list you have is the least of the things you're expected to do. I was hoping you'll mention cutting cost on reception budget, IV, food and drinks, etc. If the list is a problem, please hold on. It's never too late to be married.

Lack of money shouldn't be the actual motivation to cut wedding expense. In my own case, it was choice, a deliberate one. No reception, no event centre, no hall, no church wedding, no band, no MC, no best man or bridal train. Just registry and trad in a living room, with less than 13 guests from my family. The list wasn't an issue although my in-laws were extremely considerate. That's how to impress no one but yourself.

Nigerians and excessiveness.

FunnyDude:
Spend this money if you get.

I spent close to two point five for my wedding late last year and life moves on.

You spending for the sake of ur queen (wife)

I hope you did that because you could afford it?

OP your people could help with the negotiation rather than you do it yourself. There are many traditionally acceptable ways of negotiating and settling bride price

MufasaLion:


I hope you did that because you could afford it?

Yes na I was able to afford it

AltarBoy1:
I have been thinking of settling down this year. Probably before July. I proposed to my GF this January and hoping that soon we will tie the knot.

Now here comes the big issue. Due to the economic situation, I budgeted a certain amount of money to cover the traditional rite and white wedding. The money is not much though, but am not out to impress any one. I don't want a situation where after the marriage, I will be feeling the heat of trying save money and to meet up with house expenses.

I have collected list of things that will be needed for the trad. If am to do 1/3 of what's on the list, with the current market price of things, the money I bugdeted for everything including the wedding won't be enough for it.
I have tentatively heard from my wife people and the logistics they placed around the traded too is demanding and from the looks of things, I will be the one footing everything.

I won't start listing all the supposed expenses that I will make just to follow protocol, which to me are unnecessary. I have seen marriage taken places without all these protocols and heaven no fall.

I told my dad about my plans of spending low on the marriage, he said I should discuss with my in-laws to be through a distant uncle of my wife. That I have done and the response was that the money won't be enough.

For me God knows my intention. Am not out to please anyone. Am going there with what I have, my plan is to ensure I pay the bride price and organise a simple trad and wedding.

If the family of the girl refuse, I gather my things and leave.

First of all I believe you're in love to the extent of footing the whole bills, I salute you.

At this juncture, I will advise you spend according to your budget. If anybody complains make dem balance the rest.

Trust me you don't wanna empty yourself to impress anyone and start a boring and broke marriage, that will lead to depression, anger and the beginning of issues to come.

Appliedmaths:


First of all I believe you're in love to the extent of footing the whole bills, I salute you.

At this juncture, I will advise you spend according to your budget. If anybody complains make dem balance the rest.

Trust me you don't wanna empty yourself to impress anyone and start a boring and broke marriage, that will lead to depression, anger and the beginning of issues to come.

That's actually what I have in mind. My woman have listed the things she needed for the two ceremony, I can only give her what I have.