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Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience - Family (4) - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralFamilyMarried Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience (9258 Views)

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Re: Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience by capnies: 4:55pm On Feb 18, 2022
I THINK THE GREATEST PROBLEM MEN HAVE IS PRIDE, WHICH MAKES THEM DIE. IN SILENCE IN THE MIST OF HUMILIATION AND SHAME BY THEIR SPOUSES. MEN FIND IT VERY DIFFICULT TO VOICE OUT WHAT THEY ARE PASSING THROUGH EVEN TO THEIR BEST FRIENDS AND FAMILY MEMBERS TO MAKE IT APPEAR AS IF THEY HAVE THEIR HOMES UNDER CONTROL; MEANWHILE THEY ARE DYING INSIDE.

A MARRIED WOMAN OF OVER SIXTY YEARS OF AGE, WHOSE HUSBAND IS STILL ALIVE TOLD ME THAT 45% OF NIGERIAN MARRIED MEN THAT DIE ARE KILLED BY THEIR WIVES DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY
Re: Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience by prettyem(f): 5:13pm On Feb 18, 2022
Many people enter into marriage with loads of impossible expectations they themselves cannot fulfill or submit to forgetting they are getting married to a flesh and blood like them. SMH

I am still single by the way and getting quite a lot of knowledge about marriage, homemaking and childbearing/upbringing...my mentors have deep-rooted, blessed and stable homes plus I don't believe in 'marriage na scam or every man is a cheat' societal hymn because I know I will get whatever I believe and expect even in marriage

To those having issues now, how many books about having a successful marriage, how to raise kids and all about family life did you read/see/learn from before you committed to your spouse? Did you submit to marriage counseling or you knew it all?

You went to school for at least 4years or learnt a trade for some years/months but enter into marriage with NO knowledge and you expect magic to happen bah? You ignore red flags, base your calculations on financial or societal status, human connections and other shallow values... I am not saying all of these are bad yeah? But shouldn't be the core of your marital commitment because Nothing lasts forever. Ask right questions during courtship, MBA nnu, that's when you want to learn different sex styles

For instance, babe was a drunk before you married her and you feel she will change after marriage? Or an intentional lazy, entitled bloke that procrastinates even his next breathe but you are a go-getter babe, what you expect?

For me o, according to The Word of the Lord, Marriage is Good and Honorable...Blessed is the man who finds and marries me because I carry the Favor of God, husband-man will sure enjoy Divine favors through me

I am learning
I am leaning and trusting God as I wait
I am ready

So OP, change your mindset about marriage sort your issues with your partner, seek counseling and be refreshed
Re: Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience by finishmatter(op): 5:16pm On Feb 18, 2022
Longin:
So allow me make I enjoy life
Cos problem no dey finish oh wey
Everyday different wahala
Problem no dey finish oh wey
Nice one
Re: Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience by finishmatter(op): 5:21pm On Feb 18, 2022
Bravo! Bravo!!

prettyem:
Many people enter into marriage with loads of impossible expectations they themselves cannot fulfill or submit to forgetting they are getting married to a flesh and blood like them. SMH

I am still single by the way and getting quite a lot of knowledge about marriage, homemaking and childbearing/upbringing...my mentors have deep-rooted, blessed and stable homes plus I don't believe in 'marriage na scam or every man is a cheat' societal hymn because I know I will get whatever I believe and expect even in marriage

To those having issues now, how many books about having a successful marriage, how to raise kids and all about family life did you read/see/learn from before you committed to your spouse? Did you submit to marriage counseling or you knew it all?

You went to school for at least 4years or learnt a trade for some years/months but enter into marriage with NO knowledge and you expect magic to happen bah? You ignore red flags, base your calculations on financial or societal status, human connections and other shallow values... I am not saying all of these are bad yeah? But shouldn't be the core of your marital commitment because Nothing lasts forever. Ask right questions during courtship, MBA nnu, that's when you want to learn different sex styles

For instance, babe was a drunk before you married her and you feel she will change after marriage? Or an intentional lazy, entitled bloke that procrastinates even his next breathe but you are a go-getter babe, what you expect?

For me o, according to The Word of the Lord, Marriage is Good and Honorable...Blessed is the man who finds and marries me because I carry the Favor of God, husband-man will sure enjoy Divine favors through me

I am learning
I am leaning and trusting God as I wait
I am ready

So OP, change your mindset about marriage sort your issues with your partner, seek counseling and be refreshed
Re: Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience by sayittome(m): 6:47pm On Feb 18, 2022
shocked grin shocked
Re: Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience by prettysassygirl(f): 8:51pm On Feb 18, 2022
They said people should come and share their bitter marriage experiences,but what do we see? Marriage counselors and marriage experts wey never marry. Shior
Re: Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience by ahnie:
Uzomarrr12345:
My only problem I have with our Nigeria ladies is , they simply don’t like bringing to the table except it becomes an issue , I am talking about financial aspect

everything is left for the man, school fees , house rent , even your wife shop rent , this is the case of many Nigeria men but ego won’t let them complain coz society demand dey have to even die to provide for the house

Submissive is not all about sex alone , there’s also the financial aspect of it, as a woman , even if your husband has a decent job, that doesn’t mean you can’t still contribute

remember he has families back home to fend for , in some cases , husbands even extend the love and finances to the wife’s family too, e no easy !

Men speak out !
Don’t die in silence !!
Re: Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience by Uzomarrr12345: 9:17pm On Feb 18, 2022
ahnie:
My dear not all women,I don't remember the last time my husband fed me,I recently told him to handover the welfare of our 2 kids to me so I could cater for them to the standard I want.in as much I m doing something,by his grace I m not one to depend on him to been fed or clothe.

I run my shifts ALONE.
This your case is different, you sound like your husband isn’t too okay financially something like that

So therefore , You wanna raise the kids to your own taste

If tomorrow , your husband finance is much better , you will likely handover the welfare and responsibilities of the kids back to him sharp sharp
Re: Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience by Uzomarrr12345: 9:20pm On Feb 18, 2022
I know Nigeria women , the only time dey are forced to take matters into dia hands financially is only when dia husband is at the buttom pit

If the man’s financial power is stable , 2 seconds , the Billings don start again
Re: Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience by ahnie:
.
Re: Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience by Uzomarrr12345: 9:36pm On Feb 18, 2022
ahnie:
He's somewhat okay financially to his own standard,but he always reason achaic and mundane that's my issue with him.

Sad truth is...I won't handover the welfare of the kids back to him again.
Simply put....I have relieved him from the responsibility of our kids.
There’s no shame in saying the truth honey , economy is bad , things are hard

If your man isn’t upfront financially, it not a sin to admit it … rather than saying to “his own standard”

I also understand your point as a mother , your kids come first , you want the best for your kids

Unfortunately, you don’t think your husband financial ability can give them the best you wish for your kids

This is how I see it ! Period !!

I have seen husbands with more bad attitude , but most of the wives did not still take over the welfare and responsibilities of the kids coz dia husbands are okay financially
Re: Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience by Kdon2: 12:06am On Feb 19, 2022
AntiMen:
Son of a hoe.....
Same as you! grin
Re: Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience by Kdon2: 12:07am On Feb 19, 2022
Ishilove:
My warm regards to your mother.
Yours too! grin
Re: Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience by Nezzjnr: 12:45am On Feb 19, 2022
Not yet married.

But I Victor will have a good marriage
Re: Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience by Nobody: 1:28am On Feb 19, 2022
Movingon5:
Exactly.... dat what am going through now.... will find time to put my story here... am married/cohabiting (he refuses to come pay my dowry since 2015 QC been living with him)to a man 36 years older Dan me. Av been through alot from domestic abuses and assaults from him and his children brothers etc
Dem tie your leg there? Or were you bundled to his house in the first place?

Go back to your parents house. If he truly wants you, he'll come and do the needful.
Re: Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience by stacyadams: 8:34am On Feb 19, 2022
Uzomarrr12345:
Forget all these your talk baba


The best and only way to know a woman well and see her true colors is by living under same roof with her for a period of time

Then, see if you guys are compatible !

any other way or method you are advocating here to know a woman better other than that one above …is just dust
The best and only way to know a woman well and see her true colours is buy living under the same roof with her for a period of time and the man is unemployed grin and broke
Re: Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience by stacyadams: 8:40am On Feb 19, 2022
Movingon5:
Exactly.... dat what am going through now.... will find time to put my story here... am married/cohabiting (he refuses to come pay my dowry since 2015 QC been living with him)to a man 36 years older Dan me. Av been through alot from domestic abuses and assaults from him and his children brothers etc
Your not married,your cohabiting....if your the man ,will you pay your dowry after cohabting for 15 years?talk true. grin..for the domestic violence,,don't let them kill you before you leave..
Re: Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience by finishmatter(op): 1:32pm On Feb 19, 2022
Completely agree

stacyadams:
The best and only way to know a woman well and see her true colours is buy living under the same roof with her for a period of time and the man is unemployed grin and broke
Re: Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience by Nobody: 1:59pm On Feb 19, 2022
Uzomarrr12345:
What are the other important aspects ?

Everyone seems to forget about billing and financial aspect

Omo , my advice for younger ones coming up, observe your partner closely during courtship, if she is the type that like to spend her money solely on herself and her own family and let you take care of the house Billings alone , just leave that lady and RUN !

Alot of Nigeria ladies are like this
About 70%
True talk brother, you spouse might be a working-class lady but you still pay all the bills
Re: Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience by GboyegaD(m): 2:51pm On Feb 19, 2022
Uzomarrr12345:
I really find this topic interesting coz just last week , I was having this sort of discussion with a friend

my friend is so fed up of accommodating his wife younger brother in his house , the guy is behaving badly, to the point he had the guts to bring a female to sleep over

just imagine , but as usual, he doesn’t have the guts to send the boy packing coz he doesn’t want to look like a bad in-law

See plenty annoying tins dey inside this marriage thing , some guys nor just wan Dey talk too much
Whose fault if not your friend's? When he is ready to be responsible for his home he will do the needful.
Re: Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience by GboyegaD(m): 2:58pm On Feb 19, 2022
Uzomarrr12345:
how again , can you know a lady better if you don’t live with her ?

Is it by checking her Instagram or Facebook page you get to know them better …lol … smh

Trust me, you still be pikin !
Abeg, when you dey date women, wetin una dey discuss? When una go out, how una dey pay? When celebration (birthday, anniversary, promotion, etc) time come, how una dey do am? Many more ways to know your partner but you know say many people dey see signs but dem dey throw way face. Some guys even like act like alpha and omega, some like Jehovah Jirey for relationship come dey very for marriage day the woman no gree contribute. Dem dey forget say na as you lay your bed, you go lie on am.
Re: Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience by GboyegaD(m): 3:13pm On Feb 19, 2022
I don't understand the billings that we're mentioned in the posts. What are the billings in marriage? Why not make a reasonable budget based on both incomes?

One challenge though is many do not discuss their expectations in marriage and many prefer to live by societal norms that may not be applicable in today's world. Know what you want and seek someone who has it and wants what you have offer.
Re: Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience by Toeyean1507(f): 3:37pm On Feb 19, 2022
AoifeNightfall:
Ma'am, you made the rice I am eating come out of my nose grin grin
Ha, you don't know her.......she's a queen of clap back.
Re: Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience by Uzomarrr12345: 3:53pm On Feb 19, 2022
GboyegaD:
[b]Abeg, when you dey date women, wetin una dey discuss? When una go out, how una dey pay? When celebration (birthday, anniversary, promotion, etc) [/b]time come, how una dey do am? Many more ways to know your partner but you know say many people dey see signs but dem dey throw way face. Some guys even like act like alpha and omega, some like Jehovah Jirey for relationship come dey very for marriage day the woman no gree contribute. Dem dey forget say na as you lay your bed, you go lie on am.
So this is how you know a lady better , by anniversary, birthday, promotion…. Mtcheeeeew

Ogbeni , stop unnecessary arguments, until you live with person, you don’t know jack !

Many of una no even sabi una partners sha, with all these nonsense I’m seeing here

You think you can know a lady or your partner beta by going out on few dates here and dere and doing video call on WhatsApp …lol

You never see anything
Re: Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience by Uzomarrr12345: 3:56pm On Feb 19, 2022
GboyegaD:
Abeg, when you dey date women, wetin una dey discuss? When una go out, how una dey pay? When celebration (birthday, anniversary, promotion, etc) time come, how una dey do am? Many more ways to know your partner but you know say many people dey see signs but dem dey throw way face. Some guys even like act like alpha and omega, some like Jehovah Jirey for relationship come dey very for marriage day the woman no gree contribute. Dem dey forget say na as you lay your bed, you go lie on am.
Normal level , when you take a lady out , the man suppose pay … I no argue this one


But when both parties are living together, I expect her to do some certain things for the home without being told …period !!

How much is TV subscription for a lady who earns 130k Per month undecided

It’s so embarrassing to even discuss it
Re: Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience by GboyegaD(m): 4:02pm On Feb 19, 2022
Uzomarrr12345:
So this is how you know a lady better , by anniversary, birthday, promotion…. Mtcheeeeew

Ogbeni , stop unnecessary arguments, until you live with person, you don’t know jack !

Many of una no even sabi una partners sha, with all these nonsense I’m seeing here

You think you can know a lady or your partner beta by going out on few dates here and dere and doing video call on WhatsApp …lol

You never see anything
If you need live with person to know them, blame it on yourself and perhaps your upbringing. Quality above quantity at all times.
Re: Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience by GboyegaD(m): 4:04pm On Feb 19, 2022
Uzomarrr12345:
Normal level , when you take a lady out , the man suppose pay … I no argue this one


But when both parties are living together, I expect her to do some certain things for the home without being told …period !!

How much is TV subscription for a lady who earns 130k Per month undecided

It’s so embarrassing to even discuss it
You laid the wrong foundation, live with it. If you acted alpha and omega in the relationship, you should play the same in the marriage. Marriage is a continuum of your relationship.
Re: Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience by Uzomarrr12345: 4:58pm On Feb 19, 2022
GboyegaD:
If you need live with person to know them, blame it on yourself and perhaps your upbringing. Quality above quantity at all times.
See am

Omini-knowest

Na people like you your woman go Dey collect better black-dicck meat for your back , you go come here dey form omini-knowest !

Na you sabi woman pass na

Ogbeni Rest abeg
Re: Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience by Uzomarrr12345: 5:03pm On Feb 19, 2022
GboyegaD:
You laid the wrong foundation, live with it. If you acted alpha and omega in the relationship, you should play the same in the marriage. Marriage is a continuum of your relationship.
So when you take a gurl out on the first date , I should let her pay part of the bill


How una Dey reason this kind nonsense is beyond me sha
Re: Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience by Kobojunkie: 5:06pm On Feb 19, 2022
Uzomarrr12345:
So when you take a gurl out on the first date , I should let her pay part of the bill
How una Dey reason this kind nonsense is beyond me sha
Oh, so you don't want her to pay part of the bill so you can badmouth her afterwards? Make up your mind already. undecided
Re: Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience by GboyegaD(m): 5:07pm On Feb 19, 2022
Uzomarrr12345:
See am

Omini-knowest

Na people like you your woman go Dey collect better black-dicck meat for your back , you go come here dey form omini-knowest !

Na you sabi woman pass na

Ogbeni Rest abeg
Unfortunately, I no be very cry baby like you as I choose to set my priorities right. You can cry me a river, I am not the cause of your predicament.
Re: Married Men: Share Your Bitter Marriage Experience by Uzomarrr12345: 5:09pm On Feb 19, 2022
Kobojunkie:
Oh, so you don't want her to pay part of the bill so you can badmouth her afterwards? Make up your mind already. undecided
Stop using two accounts to mention me

There’s no way two different pple can think so low this way

This Acct and gboyega Acct na same handler

Goodbye !
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