28.11.2020 marked it 5yrs marriage anniversary for me and my spouse.

The experiences are as follows:

1. Do not marry because of beauty:

Beauty they say is to the eyes of the beholder. My wife was and is still beautiful in my eyes but that was not only the reason I married her.
I took my time and visited her place one time they had burial ceremony in her village. This was even before I proposed to her for marriage. I wanted to see her Mum and I did. I wanted to see how my wife will look like when she start aging. I equally wanted to know how peaceful her mum lives with the Dad because she won't tell me all this things.


2. In marriage it might not work always with your plan:

I remember a friend of mine told me that once he gets married, he will relocate from Nigeria to USA with the help of the wife's family staying in USA. I can remember I asked him; what if it didn't work as you have planned it? His answer was: I have never taught of it that way.
My man is marriage now with that lady. They have gotten 2 kids but they have not moved out till now. He no longer talk about moving to USA anymore though he could even afford it.
This doesn't mean you will not plan for yourself and your family. However, as you make your plans always have a plan B in case it didn't work out the same way you had planned it.
I have learned to always have plan B even as I work so had to make plan A possible.

3. When Your wife says Yes, she might mean No most of the times and vice versa:

Most of the times when you are doing the great job on the other room, if she is saying no,stop,etc pls don't stop oh. If you do she will turn back and say to you. Why did you stop? You will answer but you asked me to stop. She will ask you are you not man enough to know that I didn't mean stop? Immerging that someone asked you to stop something and she said she didn't mean it.
You must be man enough to know when she means what she is saying. You as a man must figure somethings out by yourself.


4. Child birth:
This in most cases does not go as planned. You might say you want boys as a man and she said she want girls or boys as the case maybe. It is only God that has ultimate say on this.
It took us 3 years to get our first baby and we are expecting another soon. In that first 3 years, we went to different hospitals me and my spouse was certified ok. She use to take in but after 2-3 months miscarriage will be experienced. In this experience months became years.
We spent a lot of money looking for solution and she was restless because of that until God gave us one.
Child birth during marriage is a different ball game all together to compare when you are in a friendly relationship. When you are in a relationship, you see pregnancy come and stay but after marriage the real business starts.


5. Never marry a lady because of what she told you:
When you finally decide to marry as a man, marry because of your own reasons. Never marry because the lady told you that anyone who married her will be entitled to this or that. Pls never fall for that cheap scam. Any lady above 30yrs wants to marry by all means. You don't know the pressure she is passing through so she will do anything possible to bring you in.
Lady's knows men wick point most of the times than we know their own. Remember they can talk to each other and share their experiences with men in their discussion than men do.


6. Women are strong than men but don't know:

Believe or not women are very strong being. Brother, one weekend try and stay at home and tell her to leave all her work for you. Try and do it, guy I bet you 90% of the men will not do 60% off the work women do at home.
They will do all this things go to work and come back, carry their baby, etc.


7. She Doesn't want competition:

No woman wants to see her man with another woman. She doesn't like competition oh! A woman would do anything possible to protect her home. Women are more spiritually inclined than men. If you really want to know a visit to spiritual homes will convince you. They believe that most of the things happening around us is more spiritual than physical.

8. Shape and Size:
Before our wedding I was 66kg in weight while she was 64kg that was 2015. But now in 2020, 5years after am 64kg and she is 76kg. She has gained 12kg and I have lost 2kg such is life. That slim fight girl you see today once you marry her she will gain weight this is natural to them.
If you must marry bear it in mind that she must gain weight and as she gains weight she might start losing shape.
I have bought so many weight loss medications and even waist trainer belt but it's still there.
I have learned to live with it.


9. Buying things:
Impulse buying is their hubby. Women can buy things that they will never use. Most of the times my wife bought she doesn't even know what they are used for. Most a times they buy because it looks good not even because they want to use it.


10. Gift:
Though everyone likes gift but women cherish gift so much. You want to get something from her buy her a gift more especially that thing she likes.


11. Love life:
Once you have a baby a portion of your love will be taking away from you and given to your babe. As you number of babies increased so as the love life shift hands to the babies. The more babies you have the less attention you get from your wife.

Modified:


12. Decision Making:
Never put your wife on autopilot decision Making. Never allow your spouse to always take decision without consulting you. If you allow this from the beginning changing it will be very difficult.
Say you are working in an offshore and you have to hand over your salary ATM card to your wife to spend on without a proper spending plan, then sorry is your nike name.
Even when you are not available, you can have a lay down plan for her. In case of eventuality do this or that.


13. Third party interference:

Never allow the interference of family members into your family affairs. This is dangerous to your family life. From the first day of my marriage, I told my wife that not my mum ,Dad or her parents must hear about our quarrel as I know is inevitable. This can only be possible if you know how to settle quarrels so I advise you learn this as it will help you. No quarrel should be allowed to stay too long without settling it.


14. Work/Job:
Your wife must know what you do for a living and she must be proud of it if not there is problem. I own a phone repair and parts sales center in PH and I am in this business with my wife. Am a graduate, she is as well and both of us are happy doing this business. She helps me a lot in the business. You must not force your wife to do what she didn't like doing, if you do you will not get a good result. You as a man must be proactive in your decision Making concerning work/job selection.


15. Financial status:

Your wife must know your financial status though not in details. This will help the family to stay in peace. Though you should be in charge of the spendings so as to work within your plans. Make provision for her pocket money because whether you like it or not she must get it from you more especially if she is not a working class.



It is really a wonderful experience. I love my wife and we are happy with each other.


Disclaimer:
The experiences learned and knowledge acquired are mostly personal to me and my spouse. This experiences may or may not be applicable to you and your spouse.



I would like you to add your own experience or knowledge acquired in your marriage life to guide those that wants to go into this.

you have lost 2kg she added 12kg, please whom give more to the success of the marriage?

Englov:
28.11.2020 marked it 5yrs marriage anniversary for me and my spouse.

The experiences are as follows:

1. Do not marry because of beauty:

Beauty they say is to the eyes of the beholder. My wife was and is still beautiful in my eyes but that was not only the reason I married her.
I took my time and visited her place one time they had burial ceremony in her village. This was even before I proposed to her for marriage. I wanted to see her Mum and I did. I wanted to see how my wife will look like when she start aging. I equally wanted to know how peaceful her mum lives with the Dad because she won't tell me all this things.


2. In marriage it might not work always with your plan:

I remember a friend of mine told me that once he gets married, he will relocate from Nigeria to USA with the help of the wife's family staying in USA. I can remember I asked him; what if it didn't work as you have planned it? His answer was: I have never taught of it that way.
My man is marriage now with that lady. They have gotten 2 kids but they have not moved out till now. He no longer talk about moving to USA anymore though he could even afford it.
This doesn't mean you will not plan for yourself and your family. However, as you make your plans always have a plan B in case it didn't work out the same way you had planned it.
I have learned to always have plan B even as I work so had to make plan A possible.

3. When Your wife says Yes, she might mean No most of the times and vice versa:

Most of the times when you are doing the great job on the other room, if she is saying no,stop,etc pls don't stop oh. If you do she will turn back and say to you. Why did you stop? You will answer but you asked me to stop. She will ask you are you not man enough to know that I didn't mean stop? Immerging that someone asked you to stop something and she said she didn't mean it.
You must be man enough to know when she means what she is saying. You as a man must figure somethings out by yourself.


4. Child birth:
This in most cases does not go as planned. You might say you want boys as a man and she said she want girls or boys as the case maybe. It is only God that has ultimate say on this.
It took us 3 years to get our first baby and we are expecting another soon. In that first 3 years, we went to different hospitals me and my spouse was certified ok. She use to take in but after 2-3 months miscarriage will be experienced. In this experience months became years.
We spent a lot of money looking for solution and she was restless because of that until God gave us one.
Child birth during marriage is a different ball game all together to compare when you are in a friendly relationship. When you are in a relationship, you see pregnancy come and stay but after marriage the real business starts.


5. Never marry a lady because of what she told you:
When you finally decide to marry as a man, marry because of your own reasons. Never marry because the lady told you that anyone who married her will be entitled to this or that. Pls never fall for that cheap scam. Any lady above 30yrs wants to marry by all means. You don't know the pressure she is passing through so she will do anything possible to bring you in.
Lady's knows men wick point most of the times than we know their own. Remember they can talk to each other and share their experiences with men in their discussion than men do.


6. Women are strong than men but don't know:

Believe or not women are very strong being. Brother, one weekend try and stay at home and tell her to leave all her work for you. Try and do it, guy I bet you 90% of the men will not do 60% off the work women do at home.
They will do all this things go to work and come back, carry their baby, etc.


7. She Doesn't want competition:

No woman wants to see her man with another woman. She doesn't like competition oh! A woman would do anything possible to protect her home. Women are more spiritually inclined than men. If you really want to know a visit to spiritual homes will convince you. They believe that most of the things happening around us is more spiritual than physical.

8. Shape and Size:
Before our wedding I was 66kg in weight while she was 64kg that was 2015. But now in 2020, 5years after am 64kg and she is 76kg. She has gained 12kg and I have lost 2kg such is life. That slim fight girl you see today once you marry her she will gain weight this is natural to them.
If you must marry bear it in mind that she must gain weight and as she gains weight she might start losing shape.
I have bought so many weight loss medications and even waist trainer belt but it's still there.
I have learned to live with it.


9. Buying things:
Impulse buying is their hubby. Women can buy things that they will never use. Most of the times my wife bought she doesn't even know what they are used for. Most a times they buy because it looks good not even because they want to use it.


10. Gift:
Though everyone likes gift but women cherish gift so much. You want to get something from her buy her a gift more especially that thing she likes.


11. Love life:
Once you have a baby a portion of your love will be taking away from you and given to your babe. As you number of babies increased so as the love life shift hands to the babies. The more babies you have the less attention you get from your wife.


It is really a wonderful experience. I love my wife and we are happy with each other.


Disclaimer:
The experiences learned and knowledge acquired are mostly personal to me and my spouse. This experiences may or may not be applicable to you and your spouse.



I would like you to add your own experience or knowledge acquired in your marriage life to guide those that wants to go into this.

wow,not alot people have learnt to live with some things and that's the cause of many failed marriages today. You dey try bros but personally I fear marriage lol I feel like I'd be personally putting myself in some cage.

I wish she does not gain weight.o

You have truly learned a lot and I'm proud of you for putting down these things concisely.

Very nice and educative. Kudos

Just follow these 2 simple rules and there's a 97% chance everything else will fall in place and your marriage will be an enjoyable and lovable marriage:

1) Don't marry a woman you love more than she loves you. Marry a woman that loves you more than you love her. She must love you more. Don't even settle for 50/50. Maybe like 40/60, 30/70, 20/80 etc but don't be too extreme with it like 5/95, or you will end up running after your office secretary with big yansh

2) Never forget Rule #1

Some people no know say no be everybody dey destined & fit to dey married... Unfortunately, Society don almost make am dey compulsory for everybody. OP na very few men go fit do these things way u talk about oh. If u be man & u no get selfless sacrifice within u & u dey very rigid, just forget about marriage; because the marriage go surely fail.

Openbusiness:
Just follow these 2 simple rules and there's a 97% chance everything else will fall in place and your marriage will be an enjoyable and lovable marriage:

1) Don't marry a woman you love more than she loves you. Marry a woman that loves you more than you love her. She must love you more. Don't even settle for 50/50. Maybe like 40/60, 30/70, 20/80 etc but don't be too extreme with it like 5/95, or you will end up running after your office secretary with big yansh

2) Never forget Rule #1

Guys don't even joke with this advise. It is very important oh!

Englov:


Guys don't even joke with this advise. It is very important oh!

That's the ROOT of the problem with most men having problems with marriage. They married the women they were dying for, but the problem is most of those women were not dying for them too . They marry the woman they love like crazy, but the woman just barely loves him. Or for some unfortunate guys, the woman just likes him, not even love; and then the super-unfortunate guys, the woman doesn't even love him at all, and she doesn't like him either but she only likes what he has, and that's why she chose to accept him.

There's nothing wrong with marrying a woman you're dying for. But before you marry that woman you love like CRAZY, just make sure she loves you CRAZIER than you do. Otherwise, na One Chance u don enta so oh

See better advert for marriage but honestly am not interested as for the weight part you lie i know a friend who threatened his wife and went as far as renting slim girls as side chicks nobody told her to enter gym he always told her i married a slim woman not a baby whale we thought he was being wicked but the woman was clinging to childbirth as excuse baba change am for her

You have really done well with your write up, thumbs up. In addition, couple must be prayerful

Great job man, you've really done a great job.
However I humbly disagree with your number one. I will not go after Miss Nigeria but beauty is very important to me, at least a reasonable level of it.

My papa and mama made sure to make me a little bit presentable and I will like to do that for my kids too because I ain't ready to marry my daughter tomorrow.

A woman may have great qualities but if she is not as beautiful as I expect my woman to be, I ain't putting myself in the cage with her. I don't like cheating on ordinary girlfriend let alone my wife.

As for getting old, na the two of us will be getting the old naa so I will continue to cherish her even at 90year old because one thing about beauty is that it never fades even when the body fades. That eyes I take see her in her youth is the same eye I will still use to see her until she gets old so I believe that at some point, the eye go dey so wired to her beauty that it will never ever fade.

Openbusiness:
Just follow these 2 simple rules and there's a 97% chance everything else will fall in place and your marriage will be an enjoyable and lovable marriage:

1) Don't marry a woman you love more than she loves you. Marry a woman that loves you more than you love her. She must love you more. Don't even settle for 50/50. Maybe like 40/60, 30/70, 20/80 etc but don't be too extreme with it like 5/95, or you will end up running after your office secretary with big yansh

2) Never forget Rule #1

I hear this always but do you know that the love of a woman has an elastic limit and when it gets to its apogee, any little trigger can drastically turn the deep love to deep hate?

I'll rather have a woman who grows in love with me than the one who overloves me.

The women that cut their husbands preeks once overloved them until they got to that thick brick wall.

I believe in equal amount of love, respect and accountability. That way, the growth will be steady and mutual.

You made valid points but I beg to differ regarding weight stuff. 76kg is not fat please. Don't disturb her for any weight loss whatever. You should really be concerned if your wife still remains bony ( in my opinion, 64kg is) even after marriage. Adding a little flesh is not bad.

May God continue to bless and keep your home.

I wish she does not gain weight.o

Beautiful.i like hearing happy stories like this and seeing men blessed with the spirit of common sense.its rare but I'm happy to see one.congratulations man


Happy 5th year wedding anniversary.

You will celebrate 10,20,30,40,50,60,70 and 80 ,90 and 100 years wedding anniversary together


Social Media Hawks and end time caterers will not see your marriage

All those commercial vagina sellers or kayamata people will not know the way to your office or house

But 2 of you should hit the gym real fast at least every Saturday morning before you turn to grannies In your young age

great lessons

Nuyokoi:
great lessons

Yes

J111333:
I hear this always but do you know that the love of a woman has an elastic limit and when it gets to its apogee, any little trigger can drastically turn the deep love to deep hate?

I'll rather have a woman who grows in love with me than the one who overloves me.

The women that cut their husbands preeks once overloved them until they got to that thick brick wall.

I believe in equal amount of love, respect and accountability. That way, the growth will be steady and mutual.

Nice post and thanks for sharing.

I am looking forward to this wonderful experience.

Openbusiness:
Just follow these 2 simple rules and there's a 97% chance everything else will fall in place and your marriage will be an enjoyable and lovable marriage:

1) Don't marry a woman you love more than she loves you. Marry a woman that loves you more than you love her. She must love you more. Don't even settle for 50/50. Maybe like 40/60, 30/70, 20/80 etc but don't be too extreme with it like 5/95, or you will end up running after your office secretary with big yansh

2) Never forget Rule #1

If you a Christian wife, better marry a man who loves you as Christ loved the Church.

Na Jesus Christ sacrifice with His life not the other way round.

Submission is expected from the wife as a response to his love.

Only you love, only you submit.

Goodluck.

@Englov: more years of God's bliss in your home.

Openbusiness:
Just follow these 2 simple rules and there's a 97% chance everything else will fall in place and your marriage will be an enjoyable and lovable marriage:

1) Don't marry a woman you love more than she loves you. Marry a woman that loves you more than you love her. She must love you more. Don't even settle for 50/50. Maybe like 40/60, 30/70, 20/80 etc but don't be too extreme with it like 5/95, or you will end up running after your office secretary with big yansh

2) Never forget Rule #1

That is selfishness. True love is generous, and selfish and manipulative people don't deserve to enjoy being loved.

mariahAngel:


That is selfishness. True love is generous and selfish and manipulative people don't deserve to enjoy being loved.

Story for the gods! Who is more manipulative and selfish when it comes to emotions, male or female? Answer is female. Mtchwwwww.

J111333:
Great job man, you've really done a great job.
However I humbly disagree with your number one. I will not go after Miss Nigeria but beauty is very important to me, at least a reasonable level of it.

My papa and mama made sure to make me a little bit presentable and I will like to do that for my kids too because I ain't ready to marry my daughter tomorrow.

A woman may have great qualities but if she is not as beautiful as I expect my woman to be, I ain't putting myself in the cage with her. I don't like cheating on ordinary girlfriend let alone my wife.

As for getting old, na the two of us will be getting the old naa so I will continue to cherish her even at 90year old because one thing about beauty is that it never fades even when the body fades. That eyes I take see her in her youth is the same eye I will still use to see her until she gets old so I believe that at some point, the eye go dey so wired to her beauty that it will never ever fade.

ROTFLMAO

Hmmm

Nice one, op. Hope they listen.

Franktom247:
See better advert for marriage but honestly am not interested as for the weight part you lie i know a friend who threatened his wife and went as far as renting slim girls as side chicks nobody told her to enter gym he always told her i married a slim woman not a baby whale we thought he was being wicked but the woman was clinging to childbirth as excuse baba change am for her

That's not a husband material and he doesn't truly love the wife.

Love is meant to be unconditional. Despite The OPs wife excess weight, he still loves her and doesn't complain. Thats true love.

Nice one. Happy anniversary sir! More Anniversaries to celebrate with eachother in good health, peace and love.

Anyone planning for marriage should as a matter of fact listen to this Lizzy white message in the Facebook link below. You will be glad you did.

https://m.facebook.com/100051998302881/posts/201813828228559/?sfnsn=scwspmo

Openbusiness:
Just follow these 2 simple rules and there's a 97% chance everything else will fall in place and your marriage will be an enjoyable and lovable marriage:

1) Don't marry a woman you love more than she loves you. Marry a woman that loves you more than you love her. She must love you more. Don't even settle for 50/50. Maybe like 40/60, 30/70, 20/80 etc but don't be too extreme with it like 5/95, or you will end up running after your office secretary with big yansh

2) Never forget Rule #1

Not true. It should be the other way around. The one who proposes marriage should love more. Especially if it’s the man, it helps anchor and stabilize the marriage better. Women tend to behave well if they are treated well. Men who love their wives truly, treat their wives well and have a good marriage, mostly.

CalliDora1:


That's not a husband material and he doesn't truly love the wife.

Love is meant to be unconditional. Despite The OPs wife excess weight, he still loves her and doesn't complain. Thats true love.

my friends wife has satisfied her husband i hope you knw and were told marriage is about compromise in the op case he did the compromise and in my friends part his woman did so dora my flower marriage matter no balance lets leave it at that cheers!!!

Openbusiness:
Story for the gods! Who is more manipulative and selfish when it comes to emotions, male or female? Answer is female. Mtchwwwww.

Well, manipulative people deserve each other, so they can go on playing on each other's emotions, since it is what they enjoy doing.