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My Wife Don't Want To Help My Younger Sister. Is She Being Heartless? - Family - Nairaland

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My Wife Don't Want To Help My Younger Sister. Is She Being Heartless? by Fred166: 4:51pm On Mar 21, 2022
My younger sis just rounded up her NYSC, she told me she would like to learn how to bake cake and other small chops like chin chin, puff puff, donut, egg rolls, sausage rolls, e.t.c.. from my wife. Indeed my wife a pro in baking.

I told her that's not a problem, I will inform my wife about it. I even told my sister to come over to my house this weekend because definitely she would be staying with us.

When I discussed it with my wife she said my sister would have to pay, that she's not running a charity organization... I was really mad at her.

She said she would collect 100k (for 6 months learning) from my sister, and she is doing that because of in-law stuff... That I should go and ask her clients currently learning in her school how much she charges.

I offered my wife 50k. She rejected it, she said it won't be enough to buy baking utensils not to talk of baking ingredients. Mind you she sells baking utensils and ingredients.

She also said she issue her clients certificate when they're done learning, she refers customers to them as well...

Please note: I have invested heavily in her business, Infact it was my money she used in starting up her business. Yet she refused to help my sister even with the 50k I offered.

Please is this proper? Is she being greedy? It's really causing serious problem between us. I'm so angry. My younger sister is not even aware of what is happening right now.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Don't Want To Help My Younger Sister. Is She Being Heartless? by Olunmercy56(f): 4:53pm On Mar 21, 2022
grin grin grin marriage grin grin . I don't know what to say. Let my elders on this romance section should come over

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Re: My Wife Don't Want To Help My Younger Sister. Is She Being Heartless? by donbachi(m): 4:54pm On Mar 21, 2022
Ur wife get mind...she forget sey we rise by lifting others.

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Re: My Wife Don't Want To Help My Younger Sister. Is She Being Heartless? by overdrive(m): 5:00pm On Mar 21, 2022
I have my doubts about this story.

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Re: My Wife Don't Want To Help My Younger Sister. Is She Being Heartless? by pocohantas(f): 5:01pm On Mar 21, 2022
You and this your wife sha, una reach to start series.

In your previous threads, you said she doesn’t take her business serious, that she only knows how to watch Zeeworld and Telemundo. Well, she has started taking the business serious.

This right here is a good attribute of a business person- DO NOT ALLOW FAMILY AND FRIENDS RUIN YOUR BUSINESS WITH CHEAP BARGAINS.

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Re: My Wife Don't Want To Help My Younger Sister. Is She Being Heartless? by Fred166: 5:05pm On Mar 21, 2022
pocohantas:
You and this your wife sha, una reach to start series.

In your previous threads, you said she doesn’t take her business serious. That she only knows how to watch Zeeworld and Telemundo. Well, she has started taking the business serious.

This right here is a good attribute of a business person- DO NOT ALLOW FAMILY AND FRIENDS RUIN YOUR BUSINESS WITH CHEAP BARGAINS.
She is still lazy, but she is extremely good at her job.

I offered 50k and I'm not paying anything other than that.

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Re: My Wife Don't Want To Help My Younger Sister. Is She Being Heartless? by Nobody: 5:06pm On Mar 21, 2022
.

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Re: My Wife Don't Want To Help My Younger Sister. Is She Being Heartless? by Officialgarri: 5:06pm On Mar 21, 2022
Ceteris Paribus. Business grows when families and friends pay for the services rendered to them.

You have a good wife, don't let issues like this stir up hostility in your family. Rather, pay her back in her own coin if the opportunity arises, then you both should laugh over it.

18 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Don't Want To Help My Younger Sister. Is She Being Heartless? by saintjimos(m): 5:07pm On Mar 21, 2022
Make una settle una scores
Re: My Wife Don't Want To Help My Younger Sister. Is She Being Heartless? by Olunmercy56(f): 5:08pm On Mar 21, 2022
pocohantas:
You and this your wife sha, una reach to start series.

In your previous threads, you said she doesn’t take her business serious. That she only knows how to watch Zeeworld and Telemundo. Well, she has started taking the business serious.

This right here is a good attribute of a business person- DO NOT ALLOW FAMILY AND FRIENDS RUIN YOUR BUSINESS WITH CHEAP BARGAINS.

God bless you. The reason I kept quiet

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Don't Want To Help My Younger Sister. Is She Being Heartless? by Olunmercy56(f): 5:09pm On Mar 21, 2022
Fred166:
She is still lazy, but she is extremely good at her job.

I offered 50k and I'm not paying anything other than that.

Pay the lazy woman her money, I don't know maybe she is not doing giveaway, that is why you are calling her lazy woman? If the business is down today, I know you will be the first person to blame her that she lost her business to her laziness. Think twice

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Re: My Wife Don't Want To Help My Younger Sister. Is She Being Heartless? by madridguy(m): 5:10pm On Mar 21, 2022
You and your wife again grin Business grows when families and friends pay for the services rendered to them they say.

Bro, if you want your wife to really teach your sister very well, pay her the full amount. Also if you want your sister to be very serious with her training let her know she's not learning free of charge.

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Re: My Wife Don't Want To Help My Younger Sister. Is She Being Heartless? by Nobody: 5:10pm On Mar 21, 2022
Fred,

There is nothing wrong with your expectation and your wife is not also wrong in her decision to treat you and your sister as business customers instead of family.

The following is further explanation on Emotional Relationships and Corporal Relationships.

You did not notice that your wife treats the marriage as a business dealing and not a Nucleus of Family Love. The point is to understand that there are management strategies for marriages.

You both have different views of what marriage is - For your wife, she treats every money related issue in the home as a means of profiteering and 'personal financial growth'.

But on your part, you believe that marriage is selfless and love should zero out financial obligations, you believe in sharing and giving but she believes in transacting, and it is not wrong.

What will be right, is you and your wife sitting down and drawing Home Management Budget based on your respective contributions to the family, cos Kansas has gone bye-bye. Love matter is not an excuse not to draw your plans and draw your lines on how you manage financial resources in the home.

How to do it:
List all expenses required in your home on a monthly recurring budget with passive expense like fees being averaged in monthly contribution and concentrated for proper executions.

Ensure your wife and each of your children have a monthly stipend for their personal shopping and needs.

Then you both can decide who contributes what, so that when you are bleeping each other, you can force yourselves to sexxx your expense out of each other.

In the real sense, business is business, and family is family, philanthropy or donations are subject to tax gains, so nothing to loose from caeser and God. But donations and philanthropy has to come from the donor's heart and not a compulsive requirement of blind relationship built on undefined boundaries.

Define your terms and know who you are marrying.

9 Likes

Re: My Wife Don't Want To Help My Younger Sister. Is She Being Heartless? by pocohantas(f): 5:13pm On Mar 21, 2022
Fred166:
She is still lazy, but she is extremely good at her job.

I offered 50k and I'm not paying anything other than that.

You better pay. Business is business. She is transferring knowledge and clientele, yet you want to pay 50k? Less than $100? We haven’t even added time and raw materials to be used.

Do you know how many family members she knows? If all of you come and pay 50k, shey the business would live to see its 5th birthday like this?

Another thing is, making people pay helps to keep them on their toes. They would want to get value for their money and as such they would be committed to the learning. When it is free, you see them strolling in with their useless and dusty slippers by 11am.

If at all you insist on paying 50k, make her see reasons with you. That you provided equity doesn’t mean you should ruin her business with your personal sentiments. Next you would bring your sidechick and price 20k. grin

21 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Don't Want To Help My Younger Sister. Is She Being Heartless? by Nobody: 5:16pm On Mar 21, 2022
pocohantas:


You better pay. Business is business. She is transferring knowledge and clientele, yet you want to pay 50k? Less than $100?

Do you know how many family members she knows? If all of you come and pay 50k, shey the business would live to see its 5th birthday like this?

Another thing is, making people pay helps to keep them on their toes. They would want to get value for their money and as such they would be committed to the learning. When it is free, you see them strolling in with their useless and dusty slippers by 11am.

If at all you insist on paying 50k, make her see reasons with you. That you provided equity doesn’t mean you should ruin her business with your personal sentiments. Next you would bring your sidechick and price 20k. grin

Sidechick wouldnt be a cake baker, they are mostly on tick-tock.

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Re: My Wife Don't Want To Help My Younger Sister. Is She Being Heartless? by Mariangeles(f): 5:17pm On Mar 21, 2022
Op, to be fair on your wife and honest with you, baking ingredients don cost die.
And major part of that money is to cover cost for ingredients, including gas o.

Oya make am 70k and I dey sure say she go agree.

6 Likes

Re: My Wife Don't Want To Help My Younger Sister. Is She Being Heartless? by YourCoffin: 5:21pm On Mar 21, 2022
If you are the one that funded the business and you are not getting any ROI from it then you shouldn't pay her anything. If she refuses, return the favour by making sure you gain something before helping any of her relatives or friends.

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Re: My Wife Don't Want To Help My Younger Sister. Is She Being Heartless? by jenifer007: 5:23pm On Mar 21, 2022
Oga park well jare and pay jare

So because you set the business for your wife,she should be doing giveaway anyhow abi

So let's say for example,you established a school for your wife and your sister's child or any family member wants to take their kids to the school,you will tell your wife to reduce school fees for their kids abi

Oga business is business and there has to be standard even if it is her own family that is involved,she must also set the same standard for them.

No familiarity in business

Shikena

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Don't Want To Help My Younger Sister. Is She Being Heartless? by Richy4(m): 5:29pm On Mar 21, 2022

It's her decision honestly... But people should do things with wisdom especially when families were involved...

It will be so awful for your children to bear the brunt of their mother's thoughtlessness tomorrow... U never can tell...and most women doesn't ever forget easily lipsrsealed

A case of using the 'sin' of the mother to visit their children to the third generation smiley

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Re: My Wife Don't Want To Help My Younger Sister. Is She Being Heartless? by Karleb(m): 5:32pm On Mar 21, 2022
Your wife dey craze!

She dey kolo. Rubbish!

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Re: My Wife Don't Want To Help My Younger Sister. Is She Being Heartless? by Karleb(m): 5:34pm On Mar 21, 2022
Richy4:

It's her decision honestly... But people should do things with wisdom especially when families were involved...

It will be so awful for your children to bear the brunt of their mother's thoughtlessness tomorrow... U never can tell...and most women doesn't ever forget easily lipsrsealed

A case of using the 'sin' of the mother to visit their children to the third generation smiley

Her decision in this case is wrong.

Na this kind small thing dey scatter marriage. Imagine if the in-laws hear about it?

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Don't Want To Help My Younger Sister. Is She Being Heartless? by Kobojunkie: 5:34pm On Mar 21, 2022
Fred166:
She said she would collect 100k (for 6 months learning) from my sister, and she is doing that because of in-law stuff... [/b]That I should go and ask her clients currently learning in her school how much she charges.

[b]I offered my wife 50k. She rejected it, she said it won't be enough to buy baking utensils not to talk of baking ingredients
. Mind you she sells baking utensils and ingredients.

She also said she issue her clients certificate when they're done learning, she refers customers to them as well...

Please note: I have invested heavily in her business, Infact it was my money she used in starting up her business. Yet she refused to help my sister even with the 50k I offered.

Please is this proper? Is she being greedy? It's really causing serious problem between us. I'm so angry. My younger sister is not even aware of what is happening right now.
OP, why are you being dishonest? undecided

Your wife didn't say no, she gave your sister a family discount and here you are making it seem as though she said never. undecided

And no, your wife is not being greedy. She is probably just a prudent business woman here. Training your sister will cost her time and resources which someone has to compensate her for. undecided

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Re: My Wife Don't Want To Help My Younger Sister. Is She Being Heartless? by Fred166: 5:36pm On Mar 21, 2022
pocohantas:


You better pay. Business is business. She is transferring knowledge and clientele, yet you want to pay 50k? Less than $100? We haven’t even added time and raw materials to be used.

Do you know how many family members she knows? If all of you come and pay 50k, shey the business would live to see its 5th birthday like this?

Another thing is, making people pay helps to keep them on their toes. They would want to get value for their money and as such they would be committed to the learning. When it is free, you see them strolling in with their useless and dusty slippers by 11am.

If at all you insist on paying 50k, make her see reasons with you. That you provided equity doesn’t mean you should ruin her business with your personal sentiments. Next you would bring your sidechick and price 20k. grin
Would she be happy if I ask her family members to put up something as collateral if they ask me for financial help?

My wife and I communicate very well, I told her 50k is my last price, she rejected it without thinking twice. That's absurd.

And again... my wife is too beautiful for me to have a sidechick. I've never cheated on my wife.

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Re: My Wife Don't Want To Help My Younger Sister. Is She Being Heartless? by Lastpharoah33: 5:37pm On Mar 21, 2022
All I see is a woman putting her means of livelihood first. Sometimes, the best decisions we make are those made devoid of emotions.

5 Likes

Re: My Wife Don't Want To Help My Younger Sister. Is She Being Heartless? by Mariangeles(f): 5:40pm On Mar 21, 2022
[s]
Karleb:
Your wife dey craze!

She dey kolo. Rubbish!
[/s]

If you cannot respect the op, at least respect the wife that is not here to tell her own side.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Don't Want To Help My Younger Sister. Is She Being Heartless? by Karleb(m): 5:41pm On Mar 21, 2022
Lastpharoah33:
All I see is a woman putting her means of livelihood first. Sometimes, the best decisions we make are those made devoid of emotions.

At the risk of her marriage.

In business, not all loses are bad. Besides, there are better ways of making the husband pay, not by doing strong head.

The woman is just being unreasonable. Oloun!

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Re: My Wife Don't Want To Help My Younger Sister. Is She Being Heartless? by Karleb(m): 5:41pm On Mar 21, 2022
Mariangeles:
[s][/s]

If you cannot respect the op, at least respect the wife that is not here to tell her own side.

Gerrout!
Re: My Wife Don't Want To Help My Younger Sister. Is She Being Heartless? by Richy4(m): 5:42pm On Mar 21, 2022
Karleb:


Her decision in this case is wrong.

Na this kind small thing dey scatter marriage. Imagine if the in-laws hear about it?


I know that it might seem wrong to both of us because we might be thinking about the future/ thinking about upholding the cords that binds us together as family...

That might not be her priority at the moment.. Besides, she is an adult... Adults makes wise and unwise decisions all the time... As long as she's prepared to live with it smiley

1 Like

Re: My Wife Don't Want To Help My Younger Sister. Is She Being Heartless? by Mariangeles(f): 5:42pm On Mar 21, 2022
[s]
Karleb:


Gerrout!
[/s]

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Re: My Wife Don't Want To Help My Younger Sister. Is She Being Heartless? by pocohantas(f): 5:45pm On Mar 21, 2022
Fred166:
Would she be happy if I ask her family members to put up something as collateral if they ask me for financial help?

If it is a loan, you are totally in line.

My wife and I communicate very well, I told her 50k is my last price, she rejected it without thinking twice. That's absurd.

Since you two communicate well, how about you ask her why she is so adamant? Honestly, 50k is cheap.

And again... my wife is too beautiful for me to have a sidechick. I've never cheated on my wife.

Luvvv it!!

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Re: My Wife Don't Want To Help My Younger Sister. Is She Being Heartless? by Tokskob2008: 5:47pm On Mar 21, 2022
Everyone saying business is business and all that needs to answer me this question.

If it was her own blood sister would she also request payment like she is asking from her husband right now?

Fine the baking ingredients are expensive and it shouldn't be free but is half payment not ok enough being that it's her husband that is paying?

Well one thing is very sure in the whole matter, his wife doesn't like his sister that much and even with full payment some other problem will later arise in the course of training... Even neighbours dey consider each other to some extent so why is she acting like the lady is a total stranger to her

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