₦airaland Forum

If you believe that all the exposed and educated ladies you have met are a bit too difficult and proud - some of them are - you have a problem and are living in self-denial. Your unpronounced problem is that you have a strong desire for servility and expect the same from any lady coming into your life, but have always mistaken that desire for respect. So, you have a poor concept of respect, like many other people.

The fact is that you hate toxic women as much as you love servile women - you have been looking for a servile woman among the educated and exposed ladies all this while, which is nonsense, even though you can still get one or something similar sooner than later depending on your social strata and packaging.

If you are a true sucker for a mutually healthy relationship, strive to adjust your longings reasonably, redefine your concept of respect and know how to identify the good but no nonsense ones and make your pick from them. They abound everywhere among both the educated and uneducated; exposed and unexposed; old and young, which the lady under your radar and discussion might be one.

CsRockefeller:
Hello guys and ladies.

Need your thoughts on the topic, what do you think about getting married to a very young lady and training her through school after marriage?

Background Story

I've been looking to settle down since the past 2 years and there has been no luck. The exposed and educated ones are a bit too difficult and proud. I love my women ambitious and educated, but the ones I keep meeting especially in Lagos don't seem interested.

As a young man in his late twenties, the temptations and causal flings aren't encouraging. I want to settle down soonest and focus on other things.

Now, there's this young girl I saw in my village the last time I traveled about 2 years ago, she should be around 20 right now. Very young and pretty but hasn't gained admission to school yet. She's the first born and her family aren't too comfortable. I was discussing about her with my mum, but my mum said she isn't in school yet. I'm thinking of funding her education, after getting married to her that is, since she's still young and very homely.

She's not my preference as I said earlier but the mature one's seem to be waiting for one Prince Charming to sweep them off their feet.

What do you guys think?

I think you should marry her and bring her in as your lawful wife

Then she gets admission and you take it up from there

The benefits are, she will finish schooling bearing your name

She may have babies while schooling

She is already married and that may restrict her from being naughty

The disadvantages are that, you will be prepared to face the financial cost of everything from start to finish

But bear in mind that she has not rocked life and have little experience about life and men

So be ready to deal with that when it starts because it will definitely happen

For a certain class of man, an educated wife is simply a trophy wife. A notch on the status totem. He does not want an educated wife that will work or bring home bacon, he just wants an educated wife for show.

A lot of Women who have passed through school are too open eye for this game, so the next best option is to catch and marry poor and desperate girls

I said it in a different thread, I am seeing this exact scenario with a neighbour. His wife is educated but doesn't work, doesn't drive even though the man has a spare jalopy. The woman is clearly unhappy. I think she is on her third or 4th child now. No gap. I am sure the man is happy though with his educated submissive baby making machine that he can flex with at the annual Village meeting.

Marry her if she has all the qualities of a good wife, especially, respect and fear of God. Please forget this university of a thing. Enroll her in any school of nursing in the same State where you are living. University education is not the only license to better life in the future. Qualified nurses from Nigeria are securing jobs abroad now while those with the so high - grade qualifications are roaming around, looking for jobs.

Age could have nothing to do with marriage if the couple are sincere and respect each other. My wife was just 22 when I married her and she has grown and developed under my watch. Note that marrying a younger lady comes with a great deal of patience, responsibility, care, understanding and guidance. You will be practically doing a lot of things yourself, especially, if you are bringing her to a new location, as she grows and develops into the marriage.

All the best.

Focusmind:
Marry her if she has all the qualities of a good wife, especially, respect and fear of God. Please forget this university of a thing. Enroll her in any school of nursing in the same State where you are living. University education is not the only license to better life in the future. Qualified nurses from Nigeria are securing jobs abroad now while those with the so high - grade qualifications are roaming around, looking for jobs.

Age could have nothing to do with marriage if the couple are sincere and respect each other. My wife was just 22 when I married her and she has grown and developed under my watch. Note that marrying a younger lady comes with a great deal of patience, responsibility, care, understanding and guidance. You will be practically doing a lot of things yourself, especially, if you are bringing her to a new location, as she grows and develops into the marriage.


All the best.

Thanks so much. Just received new insights from your advice.

CsRockefeller:
Now, there's this young girl I saw in my village the last time I traveled about 2 years ago, she should be around 20 right now. Very young and pretty but hasn't gained admission to school yet. She's the first born and her family aren't too comfortable. I was discussing about her with my mum, but my mum said she isn't in school yet. I'm thinking of funding her education, after getting married to her that is, since she's still young and very homely.

She's not my preference as I said earlier but the mature one's seem to be waiting for one Prince Charming to sweep them off their feet.

What do you guys think?

Gentleman, do you have any sense like this? I wasn't suppose to come to nairaland this early hours of the morning but I had no choice.

Don't sponsor anybody to any where, this is not 1999. The era of sponsoring anybody has gone, It is the parent's duty to train their kids through school, this is why the likes of tensazangets & others keep saying they DON'T want to kids in Nigeria because some parents are utterly useless.

Find a girl in your working place who is already educated, exposed and marry her, that's your best bet.

Money doesn't buy loyalty, a woman won't be loyal because you gave her money or sponsored her. Even If you like sell your kidney, It doesn't matter to a woman who doesn't genuinely like you. A woman who likes you, likes you for who you are, money or no money.

What is the purpose of all the RedPill you have been reading on nairaland if you still don't have sense at this age?

GloriousGbola:
For a certain class of man, an educated wife is simply a trophy wife. A notch on the status totem. He does not want an educated wife that will work or bring home bacon, he just wants an educated wife for show.

A lot of Women who have passed through school are too open eye for this game, so the next best option is to catch and marry poor and desperate girls

I said it in a different thread, I am seeing this exact scenario with a neighbour. His wife is educated but doesn't work, doesn't drive even though the man has a spare jalopy. The woman is clearly unhappy. I think she is on her third or 4th child now. No gap. I am sure the man is happy though with his educated submissive baby making machine that he can flex with at the annual Village meeting.

I don't want a wife for a trophy. I want someone that can even aim for the stars. I want a woman who can rise above societal sentiments and hold her own against any competition anywhere.

I want a woman who can stand in gap of my absence, and chart a way forward whether it's family or business. I don't like putting people in a box, why would I do that to a woman I claim to love?

Raalsalghul:
Bad move. I wouldn't advise you do this: you don't want to be in a situation where someone feels they could do better than you after attaining a certain level of exposure and education.

However, if you choose to go down this path, wait until you've done the proper marriage rites and she has like two kids for you and not before. This way, you've gained something out of the relationship peradventure shit hits the fan.

Be selfish, think of yourself first.

Bro, e sure me say in the next few years, he will start creating numerous threads like AmericanDad and co. lamenting about his wife doing this and that, crying all over nairaland. Sleeping with guys, hiding her phone. He never see anything.

Village girl wey go soon open eyes.

truthsayer009:
Gentleman, do you have any sense like this? I wasn't suppose to come to nairaland this early hours of the morning but I had no choice.

Don't sponsor anybody to any where, this is not 1999. The era of sponsoring anybody has gone, It is the parent's duty to train their kids through school, this is why the likes of tensazangets & others keep saying they want to kids in Nigeria because some parents are utterly useless.

Find a girl in your working place who is already educated, exposed and marry her, that's your best bet.

Money doesn't buy loyalty, a woman won't be loyal because you gave her money or sponsored her. Even If you like sell your kidney, It doesn't matter to a woman who doesn't genuinely like you. A woman who likes you, likes you for who you are, money or no money.

What is the purpose of all the RedPill you have been reading on nairaland if you still don't have sense at this age?

Lol, take am easy.

Me thinks the guy is desperate: like he has placed a cap on him self that he must marry before so so age hence the frantic efforts .

I now understand more when someone said "Nigerian men are too desperate for marriage".

This is just a classic example.

CsRockefeller:
Hello guys and ladies.

Need your thoughts on the topic, what do you think about getting married to a very young lady and training her through school after marriage?

Background Story

I've been looking to settle down since the past 2 years and there has been no luck. The exposed and educated ones are a bit too difficult and proud. I love my women ambitious and educated, but the ones I keep meeting especially in Lagos don't seem interested.

As a young man in his late twenties, the temptations and causal flings aren't encouraging. I want to settle down soonest and focus on other things.

Now, there's this young girl I saw in my village the last time I traveled about 2 years ago, she should be around 20 right now. Very young and pretty but hasn't gained admission to school yet. She's the first born and her family aren't too comfortable. I was discussing about her with my mum, but my mum said she isn't in school yet. I'm thinking of funding her education, after getting married to her that is, since she's still young and very homely.

She's not my preference as I said earlier but the mature one's seem to be waiting for one Prince Charming to sweep them off their feet.

What do you guys think?

To suffer for life no dey tire you??
At this age and time you wanna with your full chest go and marry liability, an uneducated, poor girl at that....to make matters worst na you go come dey pay her school fees, so if you born, you go pay fees for wife and child.....all because you're self esteem is too low to handle strong, educated and independent ladies....smh I pee on you.

CsRockefeller:
Hello guys and ladies.

Need your thoughts on the topic, what do you think about getting married to a very young lady and training her through school after marriage?

Background Story

I've been looking to settle down since the past 2 years and there has been no luck. The exposed and educated ones are a bit too difficult and proud. I love my women ambitious and educated, but the ones I keep meeting especially in Lagos don't seem interested.

As a young man in his late twenties, the temptations and causal flings aren't encouraging. I want to settle down soonest and focus on other things.

Now, there's this young girl I saw in my village the last time I traveled about 2 years ago, she should be around 20 right now. Very young and pretty but hasn't gained admission to school yet. She's the first born and her family aren't too comfortable. I was discussing about her with my mum, but my mum said she isn't in school yet. I'm thinking of funding her education, after getting married to her that is, since she's still young and very homely.

She's not my preference as I said earlier but the mature one's seem to be waiting for one Prince Charming to sweep them off their feet.

What do you guys think?

Don't put yourself into emotional distress just because you're *desperate* to get married. Training an undergraduate is a big No, how much more a girl who hasn't even gained admission into school. You'll waste your money and time, because other guys will totori her anyhow they want. In the end, she will choose someone else younger. I have seen it happen many times.

CsRockefeller:
Hello guys and ladies.

Need your thoughts on the topic, what do you think about getting married to a very young lady and training her through school after marriage?

Background Story

I've been looking to settle down since the past 2 years and there has been no luck. The exposed and educated ones are a bit too difficult and proud. I love my women ambitious and educated, but the ones I keep meeting especially in Lagos don't seem interested.

As a young man in his late twenties, the temptations and causal flings aren't encouraging. I want to settle down soonest and focus on other things.

Now, there's this young girl I saw in my village the last time I traveled about 2 years ago, she should be around 20 right now. Very young and pretty but hasn't gained admission to school yet. She's the first born and her family aren't too comfortable. I was discussing about her with my mum, but my mum said she isn't in school yet. I'm thinking of funding her education, after getting married to her that is, since she's still young and very homely.

She's not my preference as I said earlier but the mature one's seem to be waiting for one Prince Charming to sweep them off their feet.

What do you guys think?

She is not your preference

Go for your preference.

Raalsalghul:
Lol, take am easy.

Me thinks the guy is desperate: like he has placed a cap on him self that he must marry before so so age hence the frantic efforts .

I now understand more when someone said "Nigerian men are too desperate for marriage".

This is just a classic example.

Brotherly, we both know how this will end. I have seen that every one is trying to be diplomatic, it won't work. This dude go cry last last.

If you marry a village girl, you have no idea of the path she will take when her eyes open. It is a time bomb waiting to explode.

truthsayer009:
Bro, e sure me say in the next few years, he will start creating numerous threads like AmericanDad and co. lamenting about his wife doing this and that, crying all over nairaland. Sleeping with guys, hiding her phone. He never see anything.

Village girl wey go soon open eyes.

This here. E dey happen well well for festac. Plenty of guys brought babe from village as wife. But small time babe Don tear eye dey enter club every Friday

GloriousGbola:
For a certain class of man, an educated wife is simply a trophy wife.

And for another who her father is, make her a trophy wife. Not what degree she holds.

Newborn27:
It's been a while dude.... how's life at your end?


My opinion on the topic is....try enroll her in handwork and set her up later... school na scam this days and she is an innocent village girl whom might grow wild on getting to campus....there are lots of distraction on campus that can make a nun become a single mom.

To avoid stories that touches the heart in future, train her informally and help develop her communication skills.

Happy married life in advance buddy.

It's being a while. Trust the baby is doing fine and her mother. I have decided to shelve the plan. Amongst so many reasons, I don't think I can afford to carry the burden that it will bring.

For your last statement, sadly, I don't think that will be happening anytime soon.

Ifakiland:
To suffer for life no dey tire you??
At this age and time you wanna with your full chest go and marry liability, an uneducated, poor girl at that....to make matters worst na you go come dey pay her school fees, so if you born, you go pay fees for wife and child.....all because you're self esteem is too low to handle strong, educated and independent ladies....smh I pee on you.

I have decided to shelve the plan.

MrHighSea:
Why topping up your stress?

Exactly!! It's gonna be so stressful for me. Decided to shelve it.

RightToReject:
If you believe that all the exposed and educated ladies you have met are a bit too difficult and proud - some of them are - you have a problem and are living in self-denial. Your unpronounced problem is that you have a strong desire for servility and expect the same from any lady coming into your life, but have always mistaken that desire for respect. So, you have a poor concept of respect, like many other people.

The fact is that you hate toxic women as much as you love servile women - you have been looking for a servile woman among the educated and exposed ladies all this while, which is nonsense, even though you can still get one or something similar sooner than later depending on your social strata and packaging.

If you are a true sucker for a mutually healthy relationship, strive to adjust your longings reasonably, redefine your concept of respect and know how to identify the good but no nonsense ones and make your pick from them. They abound everywhere among both the educated and uneducated; exposed and unexposed; old and young, which the lady under your radar and discussion might be one.

I don't like the Master - Slave kind of relationship. My problem with these ladies is they feel there is something better out there. Rightly so, and I respect that. Finding the one that believes in starting the race where you are standing is the big issue here.

However, I've put the plans aside for now.

CsRockefeller:
I don't like the Master - Slave kind of relationship. My problem with these ladies is they feel there is something better out there. Rightly so, and I respect that. Finding the one that believes in starting the race where you are standing is the big issue here.

However, I've put the plans aside for now.

Good you shoved that idea one side. Keep calm and pray about it. To find a good woman that would remain so before and after marriage is very hard. It's not something you rush into. I ray God guides you in making a good decision.

Maryjane001:
Good you shoved that idea one side. Keep calm and pray about it. To find a good woman that would remain so before and after marriage is very hard. It's not something you rush into. I ray God guides you in making a good decision.

Thanks.

eddynaira125:
Must she go school?


Enrol her for one skill or trade?

If she don't know how to read or write then enrol her in one adult school

people don’t understand going to high institutions is not a must, person go finish school come dey find which work hin go do again, most of the world richest people don’t hold certificates o, they’re into business

Gerrard59:
OK, I see.

The A - Z of Hypergamy.

OP,

Did you eventually marry her?
cc: CsRockefeller

Why school though? Why not set her up in business? School is a very bad environment o. Young ladies just go there to tear eyes. If your aim is to keep your woman untainted, avoid school. Just make sure she has basic ssce then marry her and let her go and do apprenticeship at a business of her choice for 1yr. Use that time to save up and establish her big. She can be a helper indeed to you and be available to raise the children.

Gerrard59:
OP,

Did you eventually marry her?
cc: CsRockefeller

What brought you back here?

Did I marry her?

If I write my experiences searching for a partner during the last 5 years, it would be a best-seller. Back to your question, I didn't. She told me she wasn't interested in getting married to an man who hails from the same village as her. However, the real reason was because she was seeing someone (An Aunt found out) and didn't want to divulge that because I was giving her tips per time.

Anyways, last year, she tried to re-connect but I had lost interest. Personally, I'm not so keen on marriage like I was back then anymore.

Thanks

Raalsalghul:
Bad move. I wouldn't advise you do this: you don't want to be in a situation where someone feels they could do better than you after attaining a certain level of exposure and education.

However, if you choose to go down this path, wait until you've done the proper marriage rites and she has like two kids for you and not before. This way, you've gained something out of the relationship peradventure shit hits the fan.

Be selfish, think of yourself first.

wrong advice

Having kids comes with lots of responsibility unless op is very rich and will hire supporting hands in the house to support her. A kid maximum is good and make sure she finishes her program before having another child

CsRockefeller:
➜ Hello guys and ladies. Need your thoughts on the topic, what do you think about getting married to a very young lady and training her through school after marriage?
Background Story
I've been looking to settle down since the past 2 years and there has been no luck. The exposed and educated ones are a bit too difficult and proud. I love my women ambitious and educated, but the ones I keep meeting especially in Lagos don't seem interested.
As a young man in his late twenties, the temptations and causal flings aren't encouraging. I want to settle down soonest and focus on other things.
Now, there's this young girl I saw in my village the last time I traveled about 2 years ago, she should be around 20 right now. Very young and pretty but hasn't gained admission to school yet. She's the first born and her family aren't too comfortable. I was discussing about her with my mum, but my mum said she isn't in school yet. I'm thinking of funding her education, after getting married to her that is, since she's still young and very homely. She's not my preference as I said earlier but the mature one's seem to be waiting for one Prince Charming to sweep them off their feet. What do you guys think?

Look, you are free to train as many women as you like through school as many times as you like or purchase as many homes as you like for them at that. However, this training DOES NOT give you reign over the life and freedom of such women. No, your training is merely a gift from you, a gift that you cannot take back or demand be paid back with years of servitude or anything of that sort. Once the girl decides she no longer loves you or needs you after receiving said training, she is free to walk out of your life even then. You cannot force such a girl to be your wife or remain your wife for longer than she desires to be in such a commitment with you.

CsRockefeller:
What brought you back here?

Did I marry her?

If I write my experiences searching for a partner during the last 5 years, it would be a best-seller. Back to your question, I didn't. She told me she wasn't interested in getting married to an man who hails from the same village as her. However, the real reason was because she was seeing someone (An Aunt found out) and didn't want to divulge that because I was giving her tips per time.

Anyways, last year, she tried to re-connect but I had lost interest. Personally, I'm not so keen on marriage like I was back then anymore.

Thanks

I saw your response on a thread and decided to click on your profile and then saw the thread. I saw my comment and thought of whether the bros don marry or not.

Nevertheless, thanks for your response.