Top of the day to you all wherever you are reading this my story. I am just in an emotional situation now that i need a breather and what to do to ease me of this emotional pains am going through.
I got married 5 years ago and have 2 daughters to that. For almost 5 years of marriage, i have not had any reason to suspect my wife of cheating cause she has always prove to be a loyal and trustworthy person to me not until recently that i started noticing some things popping up. Our marriage has not been that rosy and perfect as we do have alots of arguments which i have tried my best to make her happy in my capabilities. I fund the house finances and barely get any tangible financial support from her but that doesn't really bother me so far am still capable of meeting those bills.
It happened when i noticed that my wife started using password on her phone and she react negatively whenever i want to access her phone. Though she doesn't pick up my phone cos its also has password but i can never deny my wife access to my phone whenever she wants to make use of it. Anytime i want to access her phone, she says she cant allow me cos i dont allow her aswell which is not true. I only password my phone cos of security purpose. The last time i used her phone, i noticed she deleted a particular chat with a guy. It was the guy replying chat that made me knew she deleted the conversation and the way the guy was addressing her made me so uncomfortable. He was using my love and all sort of romantic words to my wife, i saw it and confronted her about it that i dont like it but she said he is just a friend that she knew way back before she got married. I noticed the guy just left the country to an arab country and my wife told me that its strictly business of exporting food stuff to him thats between then.
Fortunately, i picked up her phone last night and what i saw was so devastating, i noticed she was still chatting with the guy and also exchanging love words together. My wife told the guy that she loves him and also miss him so much. This was just a little out of their conversation. I was so mad and screenshot those chat and send to my self for evidence cos she can deny anything deniable. I sent those shots to out church pastor, her dad, her mom and also all her siblings to know what their daughter was doing under my roof. Her dad has been apologizing that i should forgive her but seriously am so hurt emotionally right now and just felt like leaving the marriage cos to trust her henceforth will be difficult.
Pls what advice can you give i do and also did i over reacted by sending those screenshot out to her family and pastor. I need to know cos am confused. Pls pardon my english and typo errors.

You shouldn’t have send the screenshot out there at least to protect the image of the mother of your kids. Do what pleases you, not a supporter of cheats

With the bolded part, you have spoiled the case. You don't act quickly in situation like this.

Afodot0022:
I sent those shots to out church pastor, her dad, her mom and also all her siblings to know what their daughter was doing under my roof. Her dad has been apologizing that i should forgive her but seriously am so hurt emotionally right now and just felt like leaving the marriage cos to trust her henceforth will be difficult.
Pls what advice can you give i do and also did i over reacted by sending those screenshot out to her family and pastor. I need to know cos am confused. Pls pardon my english and typo errors.

I think you did overreact to the situation. From what you wrote up there, the cheating you described comes from professing love to another guy and not an act of adultery. Although cheating is cheating whichever way it is committed in marriage. But you got my point though.

What you should have earlier done is discover the cause of her action by confronting her with your evidence. Get to know why she is going that length while being self-aware that she is married and has kids for you. There is no justification for such actions, but there are diplomatic ways of resolving it without making it go to the length it has gotten into.

My advice to you is to sit her down, talk sense into her, and demand to know the areas you haven't acted up to that you need to address and then forgive her with a stern warning for the sake of your children.

It is well.

Rozross:
You shouldn’t have send the screenshot out there at least to protect the image of the mother of your kids. Do what pleases you, not a supporter of cheats

So a ashawo cheat now have an image to protect?

Too late for my advice whice is

Never marry

Afodot0022:
Top of the day to you all wherever you are reading this my story. I am just in an emotional situation now that i need a breather and what to do to ease me of this emotional pains am going through.
I got married 5 years ago and have 2 daughters to that. For almost 5 years of marriage, i have not had any reason to suspect my wife of cheating cause she has always prove to be a loyal and trustworthy person to me not until recently that i started noticing some things popping up. Our marriage has not been that rosy and perfect as we do have alots of arguments which i have tried my best to make her happy in my capabilities. I fund the house finances and barely get any tangible financial support from her but that doesn't really bother me so far am still capable of meeting those bills.
It happened when i noticed that my wife started using password on her phone and she react negatively whenever i want to access her phone. Though she doesn't pick up my phone cos its also has password but i can never deny my wife access to my phone whenever she wants to make use of it. Anytime i want to access her phone, she says she cant allow me cos i dont allow her aswell which is not true. I only password my phone cos of security purpose. The last time i used her phone, i noticed she deleted a particular chat with a guy. It was the guy replying chat that made me knew she deleted the conversation and the way the guy was addressing her made me so uncomfortable. He was using my love and all sort of romantic words to my wife, i saw it and confronted her about it that i dont like it but she said he is just a friend that she knew way back before she got married. I noticed the guy just left the country to an arab country and my wife told me that its strictly business of exporting food stuff to him thats between then.
Fortunately, i picked up her phone last night and what i saw was so devastating, i noticed she was still chatting with the guy and also exchanging love words together. My wife told the guy that she loves him and also miss him so much. This was just a little out of their conversation. I was so mad and screenshot those chat and send to my self for evidence cos she can deny anything deniable. I sent those shots to out church pastor, her dad, her mom and also all her siblings to know what their daughter was doing under my roof. Her dad has been apologizing that i should forgive her but seriously am so hurt emotionally right now and just felt like leaving the marriage cos to trust her henceforth will be difficult.
Pls what advice can you give i do and also did i over reacted by sending those screenshot out to her family and pastor. I need to know cos am confused. Pls pardon my english and typo errors.

Sorry Boss,
So these things truly happens?

Know one thing, she doesn't love you. Women cheat with their heart/emotions.


As her father that is begging you, if he will forgive his wife when she cheats on him.

Qtrpst4:



So a ashawo cheat now have an image to protect?

It’s deeper than you think, the exposure will also affect the kids in the nearest future. Some harsh decisions can have everlasting effects.

Rozross:
You shouldn’t have send the screenshot out there at least to protect the image of the mother of your kids. Do what pleases you, not a supporter of cheats

The owner of the image didn't care about it anyways. If she cares about her image, she will not be cheating.

Women will always cheat if u like feed her until she can't walk again he will still crawl to next available guy that makes her happy

Does the woman think about that? What if the girls are not his?

Rozross:
It’s deeper than you think, the exposure will also affect the kids in the nearest future. Some harsh decisions can have everlasting effects.

Ops do DNA test oh

please forgive her and let peace reign in your marriage..... talk to her to stop chatting with the idiot ...just keep loving her, she will come back to her senses

OP, go run DNA tests on your kids first and do whatever you want after. But if you decide to keep her, be careful.

Helpout12345:


The owner of the image didn't care about it anyways. If she cares about her image, she will not be cheating.

It’s not really about her but her kids or haven’t you read or seen where a man refused to marry a lady based on her mother’s history? It may affect their daughters marital life as eligible bachelors may avoid them based on their mother’s misdoings

Yes. You over-reacted by sending the message to her parents. You should have sent out to yourself and confront her with it, and you let her know if you find such a message again it would get to her parents. You did not make sufficient attempt to solve your problem before involving her parents. She would never be happy that you subjected her to such a public ridicule and shame even after you have resolved this issue.

Meanwhile, there could be something missing in your marriage to make your wife ignite affection for another man. It may be difficult for you to find out what it is but a professional marriage counselor would easily do that.

I advise that you see a marriage counselor even if the final resolution would be a divorce. Remember, children are already involved and they will share in the trauma.

I wish you well.

Qtrpst4:
Does the woman think about that? What if the girls are not his?

Two wrong does not make a right. He should go for DNA to ascertain this.

Qtrpst4:
Know one thing, she doesn't love you. Women cheat with their heart/emotions.


As her father that is begging you, if he will forgive his wife when she cheats on him.

OP, ask her father this question.

You shouldn't have sent the evidence to her Parents or anyone for that matter.Though painful you shouldn't have exposed the situation to anyone.

Women are prone to such changes and there are tale tell signs exhibited when cheating.It is good you spotted it early.

Have you confronted her with the evidences you have?Was she remorseful ?

If She was then you can give her a second chance.

Till y’all learn . You can’t marry a woman! You can’t have all that pusssssy to yourself alone .
Divorce her and you will still end up with another cheat

Rozross:
It’s not really about her but her kids or haven’t you read or seen where a man refused to marry a lady based on her mother’s history? It may affect their daughters marital life as eligible bachelors may avoid them based on their mother’s misdoings

You have a point here though.

Helpout12345:


You have a point here though.

I have sense, just admit it.

Boss you F up big time sending those messages to her pastor. Maybe with her parents but not to. her pastor who will use her to preach every semorn and embarrass your family. Your wife might not have slept with the guy, nevertheless, she is still a cheat and will cheat once.in physical contact with the guy.


You claim to render all financial needs in the home, did you also render all emotional needs of her? Think deep and mend your home. Chasing her away might be the easy thing to do, but forgiveness is gracious for love covers multitude of sin. Forgive that woman and she will worship you

Rozross:
I have sense, just admit it.

.

You have done well here.

I like the way you sent it to everybody. The only thing that truly keeps human beings inline is fear of consequence. By taking an extreme position you have shown that you will tolerate no shady behaviour and will not have an issue ending the marriage and walking away. It's now left for your wife to correct her steps or continue on the path she has chosen. If she sues for peace, find a way to forgive and rekindle the love between both of you, and give her grace.

No plèase keep her. That s what I want you to do.

Rozross:
You shouldn’t have send the screenshot out there at least to protect the image of the mother of your kids. Do what pleases you, not a supporter of cheats

ARE YOU INSINUATING HE SHOULD HIDE EVIL, IN THE NAME OF PROTECTING THE DISOBEDIENT WIFE?

You made a very big mistake by sending the mesage to her people especially her parent. You have a screenshot as evident, that is enough for you to take your decision. Now they will be begging you with everything within their capacity to forgive her.

See, a cheat will always be a cheat, after this one, it will be very difficult for you to catch her again, and the chances she will continue with her lover is 99%.

Next time, just do what is in your mind and show them the evidence later.

Tonypen247:
I think you did overreact to the situation. From what you wrote up there, the cheating you described comes from professing love to another guy and not an act of adultery. Although cheating is cheating whichever way it is committed in marriage. But you got my point though.

What you should have earlier done is discover the cause of her action by confronting her with your evidence. Get to know why she is going that length while being self-aware that she is married and has kids for you. There is no justification for such actions, but there are diplomatic ways of resolving it without making it go to the length it has gotten into.

My advice to you is to sit her down, talk sense into her, and demand to know the areas you haven't acted up to that you need to address and then forgive her with a stern warning for the sake of your children.

It is well.

You read where op said she wrote "missing him"?

That mean they must have had physical contact before he left the country. There is nothing to be missing if it just chatting except they paused for sometime.

yemmit90:


You read where op said she wrote "missing him"?

That mean they must have had physical contact before he left the country. There is nothing to be missing if it just chatting except they paused for sometime.

Op look into the above.

Weak man.