brain54:

MADam I sorted it

That’s good, wouldn’t want to give any credence to the stereotype that the black man can’t read either

ibkayee:

That’s good, wouldn’t want to give any credence to the stereotype that the black man can’t read either

Can’t read how…?
It was a mistake and I sorted it before you even pointed it out. Or can’t black men make mistakes?
By the way are you white?

brain54:

Can’t read how…?
It was a mistake and I sorted it before you even pointed it out. Or can’t black men make mistakes?
By the way are you white?

No I’m a black woman, Nigerian to be exact

brain54:
1. Even the reference you quoted admits that very little scholarly research has been done on this issue. Nigeria is not a nation that keep records, statistics or data.

2. I can bet my not so big hairy balls if you had 10 people on your street in whatever year you stated up there who came from divorced homes then in this 2022 you will have as much as 3 times more of such cases in your street. It’s not even the numbers it’s the ratio. Go out and look around. Don’t take my words for it. Go out and stop hiding behind your keyboard reading useless statistics.

3. Open your eyes and see. Divorce these days is not an issue. It just happens like people eating breakfast and everyone moving on like nothing happened or they was not even a marriage that existed. Open your eyes and see!

1. You haven't been paying attention since the beginning of this conversation have you because this response of yours here reveals you have been arguing blindly.

Marriage Abandonments, which were condoned by your ancestors, and excused by you as simply an approach to the resolution of disputes, went and still go largely unreported and recorded as divorce. Your claims up till now that the divorce rate(official) is higher today than it was back say 80 years ago is not itself based on fact but based on a shift in your reasoning that the reality of abandonment is indeed no different from divorce. Again, the official Divorce rate, remains at the same rate, less than 1%, which is the same as it was back about 40 years ago, so what has changed? Nothing, except now you perceive the culture of marriage abandonment for what it is, divorce.

2. Go back to my statement and read with your eyes wide open. The story I told was of Nigeria in the 80s when the population was less than 25% of what it is today. Those divorces mentioned were not official but abandonments. Compare the differences in population counts and you will maybe wise up to the reason why it has gotten harder to ignore the issue of marriage abandonment and now see it for what it is which is divorce.

3. Am I to assume at this point that you also failed mathematics in secondary school or something? Aren't you the very same person who pointed out in #1 above that the information I posted indicated that the official divorce rate remains below 1% in Nigeria?

Essentially, you have been trying to talk out of both sides of your mouth here — claiming marriage abandonment is not the same as divorce yet at the same time acknowledging that the high marriage abandonment rate you observe today in the Nigerian society is nothing but divorce, though the practice goes on unreported. You need to sort this thing out with your psyche there.

Jimmythewise:
25 percent you mean.

So, you mean the 25% official divorce rate is different from the almost 25% marriage abandonment rate in Nigeria which goes largely undocumented given that it remains a thing of shame for the victims in all of those cases?

Kobojunkie:
1. You haven't been paying attention since the beginning of this conversation have you as this shows you have been arguing blindly.

Abandonments, which were condoned by your ancestors, and excused by you as simply an approach to the resolution of disputes, went and still go largely unreported and recorded as divorce. So, your claims up till now that the divorce rate(official) is higher today than it was back say 80 years ago is not itself based on fact but based on a shift in your reasoning that the reality of abandonment is indeed no different from divorce. Again, the official Divorce rate, remains at the same rate, less than 1%, which is the same as it was back about 40 years ago, so what has changed? Nothing, except now you perceive the culture of marriage abandonment for what it is, divorce.

2. Go back to my statement and read with your eyes wide open. The story I told was of Nigeria in the 80s when the population was less than 25% of what it is today. Those divorces mentioned were not official but abandonments. Compare the differences in population counts and you will maybe wise up to the reason why it has gotten harder to ignore the issue of marriage abandonment and now see it for what it is which is divorce.

3. Am I to assume at this point that you also failed mathematics in secondary school or something? Aren't you the very same person who pointed out in #1 above that the information I posted indicated that the official divorce rate remains below 1% in Nigeria?

We’re is the mathematics in this argument?

I am not arguing with you about abandonment. Stop throwing technicalities in this your argument. I am discussing the rising or decreasing (according to you) rate of divorce as it affects us presently and as it was in the times of our ancestors.

It seems your the one not paying attention that’s why you even stated of irrelevants earlier.

Is divorce rates increasing or not. Go out on your street and open your oporlor eye.

Stop quoting useless statistics that even the author admits is not thoroughly researched.

Kobojunkie:
1. You haven't been paying attention since the beginning of this conversation have you because this response of yours here reveals you have been arguing blindly.

Marriage Abandonments, which were condoned by your ancestors, and excused by you as simply an approach to the resolution of disputes, went and still go largely unreported and recorded as divorce. Your claims up till now that the divorce rate(official) is higher today than it was back say 80 years ago is not itself based on fact but based on a shift in your reasoning that the reality of abandonment is indeed no different from divorce. Again, the official Divorce rate, remains at the same rate, less than 1%, which is the same as it was back about 40 years ago, so what has changed? Nothing, except now you perceive the culture of marriage abandonment for what it is, divorce.

2. Go back to my statement and read with your eyes wide open. The story I told was of Nigeria in the 80s when the population was less than 25% of what it is today. Those divorces mentioned were not official but abandonments. Compare the differences in population counts and you will maybe wise up to the reason why it has gotten harder to ignore the issue of marriage abandonment and now see it for what it is which is divorce.

3. Am I to assume at this point that you also failed mathematics in secondary school or something? Aren't you the very same person who pointed out in #1 above that the information I posted indicated that the official divorce rate remains below 1% in Nigeria?

[i]Essentially, you have been trying to talk out of both sides of your mouth here — claiming marriage abandonment is not the same as divorce yet at the same time acknowledging that the high marriage abandonment rate you observe today in the Nigerian society is nothing but divorce, though the practice goes on unreported. You need to sort this thing out with your psyche there.[/i]

Look at you…

You have trouble reading to understand.
Misinterpreting What I have been saying. Sad.

brain54:
1. We’re is the mathematics in this argument? I am not arguing with you about abandonment. Stop throwing technicalities in this your argument. I am discussing the rising or decreasing (according to you) rate of divorce as it affects us presently and as it was in the times of our ancestors. It seems your the one not paying attention that’s why you even stated of irrelevants earlier. Is divorce rates increasing or not. Go out on your street and open your oporlor eye.

2. Stop quoting useless statistics that even the author admits is not thoroughly researched.

Let's simplify this a bit for you!

1. According to the records, the official divorce rate in Nigeria has not increased at all as it has remained stably under 1% for a while now. So what are you talking about?

2. Statistics are useless in comparing divorce rates in Nigeria between the time of your ancestors and today. How come?

brain54:
Look at you…
You have trouble reading to understand.
Misinterpreting What I have been saying. Sad.

What exactly did I misrepresent in all of what you have stated thus far on this topic?

Kobojunkie:
What exactly did I misrepresent in all of what you have stated so far on this topic?

Go back and read again. Because I don’t have time to explain.
This time read with an open mind. You have a closed mind!

brain54:
Go back and read again. Because I don’t have time to explain. This time read with an open mind. You have a closed mind!

Did you not on record claim earlier that what your ancestors did, which amounted to marriage abandonment, for the most part, was not divorce?

Is the above a close-minded summation of your earlier claim or something?

Kobojunkie:
Did you not on record claim earlier that what your ancestors did, which amounted to marriage abandonment, for the most part, was not divorce?

What is marriage abandonment and we’re did I use that word?


Go to your parents to stay with for a while is not abandonment!
I told you the reasons for such which was to resolve issues. How is that abandonment oga?
Or you just like to argue?

brain54:
1. What is marriage abandonment and we’re did I use that word? Go to your parents to stay with for a while is not abandonment!
2. I told you the reasons for such which was to resolve issues. How is that abandonment oga?

ROFLMAO!


1. So, if the "a while" turns into months, years, or decades.... it is not abandonment but marriage? Or you just like to argue?

2. And I am trying to understand how you reason that "a while" into your conflict resolution idea there.

Kobojunkie:
ROFLMAO!


So, if the "a while" turns into months, years, or decades.... it is not abandonment but marriage?

Stop laughing at your stupidity…

It’s annoying. I told you in 95% of cases the issue was resolved and the wife returned. In most cases it was just a threat to make the wife seat up. Why are you making me repeat myself?

Kobojunkie:
You mean in addition to the already high marriage abandonment —the culturally accepted practice of divorce that allows men the right to send wives back to their parents as if unwanted slaves — rates from the times of your ancestors and ancestors before them?

I have this opinion that.... social media is very bad; it allowed us to listen, discuss and deliberate with mediocres

First of all, the west is the African's problem......they won't even leave Africa alone, they forcefully, strategically and manipulatively gave almost all African's countries a bad system....for their own game..infact, they are subtly treating African like just a country stead of a continent....and in the same vein influencing the caliber of leaders that get elected in Africa..... Africa has always been a specimen to the west.......they won't even teach you your own history........

Countries like India, Switzerland, Japan, china, Chile, Russian etc have their culture, beliefs and traditions......why must African adopt an expensive and cumbersome Democratic system of government to start with....a system that alien to your peculiarities...even in the west...they won't preach to Scottish men to stop wearing skirts....skirts are designed for women....but African must follow rules made by the west and for the western culture to expand...western marriage rite does not recognized bride price for example.....but then Africans are emulating equality in marriage....that is contradictory.

Divorce is not common within Chinese, japanese, indians, Indonesian communities living in the west because they strongly believed in their culture and traditions...and live within the confined of such.....but African are directionless, standardless and focusless.......

Kobojunkie:
ROFLMAO!


1. So, if the "a while" turns into months, years, or decades.... it is not abandonment but marriage? Or you just like to argue?

2. And I am trying to understand how you reason that "a while" into your conflict resolution idea there.

The a while was to enable the parents have a word with the said wife. Didn’t I state that clearly. Mr closed mind!

brain54:
Stop laughing at your stupidity…
It’s annoying. I told you in 95% of cases the issue was resolved and the wife returned. In most cases it was just a threat to make the wife seat up. Why are you making me repeat myself?

95% of the wives returned? Are you attempting to rewrite history or something?

Kobojunkie:
95% of the wives returned? Are you attempting to rewrite history or something?

No.

brain54:

The a while was to enable the parents have a word with the said wife. Didn’t I state that clearly. Mr closed mind!

You really think yourself smart, don't you?

The Extent and Rate of Divorce in Plateau State, Nigeria 1980 to 1988
The major issue for this research was to investigate the extent and rate of divorce, its causes and attitudes toward divorce laws. This study surveyed 3500 people from the selected local government areas. The findings show high divorce rate, and 71.2% of the husbands had their divorce in courts as opposed lo 76.6% of the wives who had their marriages annulled in courts. Adultery ranked the highest among the reasons for divorce, while the wives were more likely than their husbands to have negative attitudes toward divorce laws because they are always the victims of divorce not protected by the law.
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1300/J087v21n03_08?journalCode=wjdr20

Kobojunkie:
You really think yourself smart, don't you?

This compares to what exactly? This tells me nothing about the rate of divorce by our ancestors.
It’s just a study carried out to find out the increasing divorce rates in plateau state. And it’s causes and reactions. It has no bearing on our argument. I can read! Don’t think you will bambozole me with nonsense data.

brain54:
This compares to what exactly? This tells me nothing about the rate of divorce by our ancestors.

Your 95% claim of resolution in cases, where does it come from?

brain54:
This compares to what exactly? This tells me nothing about the rate of divorce by our ancestors.
It’s just a study carried out to find out the increasing divorce rates in plateau state. And it’s causes and reactions. It has no bearing on our argument. I can read! Don’t think you will bambozole me with nonsense data.

You are the one who attempted to hoodwink me here with your claim of a 95% resolution rate in marriage when the record of trends even as far back as the 1980s suggests a high rate of divorce even in the conservative north.

Kobojunkie:
You are the one who attempted to hoodwink me here with your claim of a 95% resolution rate in marriage when the record of trends even as far back as the 1980s suggests a high rate of divorce even in the conservative north.

Even in the conservative north… Really?
I see! You just hydra headed and will just grow new heads to suit your arguments from imagination. Arguing with you will last for centuries cause you will keep bringing new arguments when your point is defeated. I wont be surprised we end up arguing about global warming and finally Ukraine and Russia war.

Nice chatting. Sorry if I made any offensive comment. But I have to go now. I will remember your monicker. In fact I will follow you. Enjoy your day.

Are you male or female?

brain54:
Even in the conservative north… Really? I see! You just hydra headed and will just grow new heads to suit your arguments from imagination. Arguing with you will last for centuries cause you will keep bringing new arguments when your point is defeated. I wont be surprised we end up arguing about global warming and finally Ukraine and Russia war.

2. Nice chatting. Sorry if I made any offensive comment. But I have to go now. I will remember your monicker. In fact I will follow you. Enjoy your day. Are you male or female?

1. So, you admit you pulled that nonsense about 95% resolution from thin air then?

By the way, back in the 80s, Plateau state, considered majorly Christian at that time, was regarded as conservative compared to many of the southern mostly Christian states.

2.

Kobojunkie:
So, you admit you pulled that nonsense about 95% resolution from thin air then?

Nope. I didn’t pull it out from thin air. Just my personal judgement from stories, personal experiences. I would like to call it my personal research on the matter.

Pls answer my question. Are you male or female?

Kobojunkie:
1. So, you admit you pulled that nonsense about 95% resolution from thin air then?

By the way, back in the 80s, Plateau state, considered majorly Christian at that time, was regarded as conservative compared to many of the southern mostly Christian states.

2.

Well I know for sure plateau is not north…

But middle belt. Besides you can’t conduct a research based on just one state and generalize. Most of all when the research is IRRELEVANT to the topic we are discussing.

brain54:
1. Nope. I didn’t pull it out from thin air. Just my personal judgement from stories, personal experiences. I would like to call it my personal research on the matter.

2. Pls answer my question. Are you male or female?

1. According to the record from that article printed in 1984 your 95% resolution claim is a fantasy.

2. That information is of no value or importance to anything here on Nairaland. So, I will let you decide what gender you want me to be to help you sleep.

Kobojunkie:
1. According to the record from that article printed in 1984 your 95% resolution claim is a fantasy.

2. That information is of no value or importance to anything here on Nairaland. So, I will let you decide what gender you want me to be to help you sleep.

I will sleep regardless. Your gender can never give me sleepless night o! I am just asking.

I checked your profile though. Saw a female pix. So I assume you are female. You sound like a guy though. I thought I was arguing with a male.

brain54:
1. Well I know for sure plateau is not north…

But middle belt. Besides you can’t conduct a research based on just one state and generalize. Most of all when the research is IRRELEVANT to the topic we are discussing.

1. Toh! So, compass now get North, South, West, East, and middle belt?

There are other reports you can find and read online which tell of related records from other parts, Lagos for instance, in the 1970s. https://www.jstor.org/stable/350561. It is all meant to help you gauge the reality of the claim you made and I am afraid there isn't much truth to your 95% resolution rate.

brain54:

I will sleep regardless. Your gender can never give me sleepless night o! I am just asking.

I checked your profile though. Saw a female pix. So I assume you are female. You sound like a guy though. I thought I was arguing with a male.

As far as gender for me, it is "anyhow belle face".

Kobojunkie:
1. Toh! So, compass now get North, South, West, East, and middle belt?

There are other reports you can find and read online which tell of related records from other parts, Lagos for instance, in the 1970s. https://www.jstor.org/stable/350561. It is all meant to help you gauge the reality of the claim you made and I am afraid there isn't much truth to your 95% resolution rate.

You stubborn die…


Like I said if I keep arguing with you we go end up for global warming.
Nigeria is sub divided into six geo political zones. Plateau is middle belt.
True to God. I am tired of arguing with you already.
You cute o!!

Kobojunkie:
As far as gender for me, it is "anyhow belle face".

So you are in the “middle “?