From David Belle on Twitter:

Men would literally rather drive at 150mph on country roads in a tax haven than go to therapy

https://twitter.com/davidbelle_/status/1636746343581360129?s=46&t=dR32GmclMO3sOOFX1ADAtw

For some context. Here is ChatGPT's explanation:

This statement is a humorous and exaggerated way of pointing out that some men might prefer engaging in risky or seemingly exciting activities, like driving at high speeds on country roads, instead of seeking professional help for their mental health through therapy. The mention of a "tax haven" implies that they might prioritize personal financial gain over addressing their emotional well-being.

The statement is not meant to be taken literally but serves as a commentary on the perceived reluctance of some men to seek therapy or mental health support. It highlights the stereotype that men may avoid vulnerability and addressing their emotions due to societal expectations of masculinity.

socialmediaman:

From David Belle on Twitter:

do you undertstand what it means yourself ?

ZIMDRILL:

do you undertstand what it means yourself ?

Yes I do. I updated the post with some context

Absolute Truth.

Most People lives to Satisfy the Society rather than Satisfying their Inner Peace.

Herd Mentality.

Klass99:


I think this is accurate and typical of men, which leads to toxic masculinity in most cases because they don't take the time to address their issues.

Slowly but surely there's a build up of anger, frustration, resentment, etcetera, which manifests in very disturbing or harmful ways.

Lol you people And your buzzwords. What if i told you that Men perceive talking and therapy as a waste of time? They'd rather do something that makes them happy like hunting, fishing,racing, mountain climbing etc to heal from past trauma or whatever the case may be. There is nothing Toxic about that. The problem is anything that is Traditionally masculine and Unfeminine,is deemed as Toxic masculinity.

The feminine open up about their feelings,the masculine Do The opposite. Men and women are opposites a lot of the times

Klass99:


I am certain the original poster I quoted and a few others will grasp my meaning.

Of course they would,they subscribe to your ideology.

There is nothing like toxic masculinity,it is just simply Masculinity.

Klass99:


The Adams were family friends from way back, the patriarch lost his job at some point and his business wasn't doing well either, he quickly turned his frustrations on his immediate family/household.

In a fit of anger he would call his first two daughters ashawos and other nasty names, because they delayed in answering him when he called (one was in the bathroom at the time and didn't hear him) or they took too long in serving his meal.

He did worse than that but I won't go into all the details, at the time his daughters were virgins who hadn't met men but his words took a toll on them. Was that toxic masculinity or not? Did his frustrations manifest in disturbing and harmful ways or not, like I said?

Why do you people like to argue unnecessarily when it's a woman stating an obvious truth? If my moniker showed male I am very sure you won't go down this path.

It was toxic behavior but not necessarily Toxic masculinity. It had nothing to do with him being masculine. It was just toxic human behavior. Women have done worse to people like the Scenario you gave. Igbo women maltreat their maids all over in The East. There are reports of women sexually abusing young boys also and various other things women do, but It doesn't make Femininity toxic,does it?

I argued with you because you were incorrect,not because you're a woman. Don't throw gender cards into this please

Klass99:


Odinson abeg rest. I don't even mean that in a dismissive or disrespectful way but please rest.
It was toxic behaviour - yes, coming from a man and head of the family who was also very autocratic...... allow me to say it was toxic masculinity as well. After all he was a male man, not a transgendered one and there is nothing more masculine than an originally born male man.

Didn't you see my example about the igbo women maltreating their maids? Or isn't that Toxic Femininity too?
The double standards is making me smile

Klass99:


Did I argue the point or disagree....like you did or you are doing? I didn't even see the example you cited but I am already aware that there's toxic masculinity and toxic femininity.

You obviously quoted the whole post so of course you saw it but chose to Ignore it because you had no rebuttal probably?

If Men and women are capable of Exhibiting the same Toxic traits, doesn't it mean that it might just be Toxic human behavior and not necessarily Toxic masculinity or Toxic Femininity? Think about it for a second

Many men are unable to engage with their emotions to be unable to express them, much less trust a therapist with them. Some are embracing it more but the general close-mindedness towards it still exist.

Klass99:


I wondered what David Belle meant by tax haven (when no one enjoys paying tax ) but ChatGPT's explanation of his entire tweet made sense.

I think this is accurate and typical of men, which leads to toxic masculinity in most cases because they don't take the time to address their issues.

Slowly but surely there's a build up of anger, frustration, resentment, etcetera, which manifests in very disturbing or harmful ways.

On a different note - Seun, Nlfpmod, is there no moderator for this section? The section has practically been taken over by adverts/sales threads, most of which are unrelated to family life and household essentials or just plain inappropriate for this section.

Well, while it is a lot of generalization IMO, many of us men are guilty of avoiding therapy or just seeing it as pointless or unhelpful especially if it didn't work for you in the past, or maybe due to some cultural perceptions.

I think the reference to "tax haven" was to indicate that the men are "rich" or "privileged" and can afford therapy, but they still won't go for it.

Your use of the phrase "toxic masculinity" is accurate by its definition to describe what the lack of psychological help could degenerate to.

And then some call it not being emotional meanwhile anger, rage, frustration etc are all emotions

Klass99:


I wondered what David Belle meant by tax haven (when no one enjoys paying tax ) but ChatGPT's explanation of his entire tweet made sense.

I think this is accurate and typical of men, which leads to toxic masculinity in most cases because they don't take the time to address their issues.

Slowly but surely there's a build up of anger, frustration, resentment, etcetera, which manifests in very disturbing or harmful ways.

On a different note - Seun, Nlfpmod, is there no moderator for this section? The section has practically been taken over by adverts/sales threads, most of which are unrelated to family life and household essentials or just plain inappropriate for this section.

CREATING THE PERFECT DIARY


All of us will experience unpleasant events during our lives. Perhaps the breakup of a long-term relationship, the death of a loved one, getting
laid off, or, on a really bad day, all three.



Both common sense and many
types of psychotherapy suggest that the best way forward is to share
your pain with others.



Those adopting this “a problem shared is a
problem halved” approach believe that venting your feelings is cathartic
and helps you release negative emotions and move forward. It is a nice
idea and one that holds tremendous intuitive appeal.




Indeed, surveys
show that 90 percent of the public believes that talking to someone else
about a traumatic experience will help ease their pain.




But is that
really the case?

To investigate, Emmanuelle Zech and Bernard Rimé at the University
of Louvain in Belgium carried out an important study.


A group of
participants was asked to select a negative experience from their past.
To
make the study as realistic as possible, they were asked to avoid the
trivial stuff, such as missing a train or not being able to find a parking
space, and instead think about “the most negative upsetting emotional
event in their life, one they still thought about and still needed to talk
about.”




From death to divorce, and illness to abuse, the issues were
serious.
One group of participants was then asked to have a long chat
with a supportive experimenter about the event, while a second group
was invited to chat about a far more mundane topic—a typical day.





After one week, and then again after two months, all the participants
went back to the lab and completed various questionnaires that
measured their emotional well-being.




Those who had spent time talking about their traumatic event thought
that the chat had been helpful.



However, the questionnaire results told a
very different story.
In reality, the chat had had no significant impact at
all.



Participants thought that it was beneficial to share their negative
emotional experiences, but in terms of the difference it made in how
well they were coping, they might just as well have been chatting about
a typical day.

So, if talking about negative experiences to a sympathetic but
untrained individual is a waste of time, what can be done to help ease
the pain of the past?



As we saw at the start of this section, trying to
suppress negative thoughts can be just as unhelpful.


Instead, one
option involves “expressive writing.”


In several studies, participants who have experienced a traumatic event have been encouraged to spend just a few minutes each day
writing a diary-type account of their deepest thoughts and feelings about
it.




For example, in one study participants who had just been laid off
were asked to reflect on their deepest thoughts and feelings about their
job loss, including how it had affected both their personal and their
professional lives.




Although these types of exercises were both speedy
and simple, the results revealed that participants experienced a
remarkable boost in their psychological and physical well-being,
including a reduction in health problems and an increase in self-esteem
and happiness.





The results left psychologists with something of a
mystery. Why would talking about a traumatic experience have almost
no effect but writing about it yield such significant benefits?




From a psychological perspective, thinking and writing are very
different.
Thinking can often be somewhat unstructured, disorganized,
and even chaotic.



In contrast, writing encourages the creation of a storyline and structure that help people make sense of what has happened
and work toward a solution.


In short, talking can add to a sense of
confusion, but writing provides a more systematic, solution-based
approach.




This is clearly helpful for those who have been unfortunate enough to
experience real trauma in their lives, but can the same idea also be used
to promote everyday happiness?


Three different, but related, bodies of
research suggest that that this is indeed the case.


Source
59 Seconds
By Richard Wiseman



Visit his youtube channel here:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYc6PmHI_Y8

The Gratitude Attitude



One of the most important writing techniques for boosting happiness revolves around the psychology of gratitude.



Present an individual with a constant sound, image, or smell, and something very peculiar happens.



The person slowly gets more and more used to it, and eventually it vanishes from their awareness.




For example, if you walk into a room that smells of freshly baked bread, you quickly detect the rather pleasant aroma.



However, stay in the room for a few minutes, and the smell will seem to disappear.
In fact, the only way to reawaken it is to walk out of the room and come back in again.








Exactly the same concept applies to
many areas of our lives, including happiness.



Everyone has something to be happy about.


Perhaps they have a loving partner, good health, great kids, a satisfying job, close friends, interesting hobbies, caring parents, a roof over their heads, clean water to drink, a signed Billy Joel album, or enough food to eat.



As time passes, however, they get used to what they have and, just like the smell of fresh bread, these wonderful assets vanish from their consciousness.



As the old cliché goes, you don’t know
what you’ve got till it’s gone.

Psychologists Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough wondered
what would happen to people’s happiness levels if they were asked to
carry out the conceptual equivalent of leaving
the bread-smelling room
and coming back in
again.




The researchers wanted to discover the effect
of reminding people of the good things that were constantly present in
their lives.



Three groups of people were asked to spend a few moments
each week writing.



The first group listed five things for which they were
grateful,
the second noted five things that annoyed them, and the third
jotted down five events that had taken place during the previous week.





Everyone scribbled away, with the “gratitude” group remarking on
seeing the sunset on a summer day and the generosity of their friends,
the “annoyed” group listing taxes and their children arguing, and the
“events” group detailing making breakfast and driving to work.




The
results were startling.




Compared to those in either the “annoyed” or the
“events” group, those expressing gratitude ended up happier, much more
optimistic about the future, and physically healthier—and they even
exercised more.