₦airaland Forum

Very possible

pocohantas:
In all this your CIA work, you have never seen that she is with a man or in a man's house. I also like the fact that you don't rely on "them say...them say", but do the work and come up with evidence of where she is. These places come out clean, the problem is she distorts facts. That counts for something.

The issue here is that you might be a possessive partner, so she has to twist things a bit. It is bad, very bad, but many partners do it when they know who they are dating/married to.

If she is picking other calls but not picking yours ALONE, then wherever she went to, wasn't the worst place to be. If you were a woman, you will be advised to give your husband breathing space. Stop checking his phones and or monitoring him.

So, I will suggest you don't give yourself high bp. Is this grounds for separation? I can't be the one to tell you the level of emotional abuse you should endure. That decision is yours to take.

Your wife has the characteristics of a Nigerian tailor or artisan. Is she one?

@bold:

Warris this?

Ain't you a weak man to still go ahead to marry a liar? She could also be a cheat probably why she's always lying

Mindlog:
No be only Nigerian artisans, Pakistani artisans dey the same Whatsapp group. My neighbour hired a bathroom renovator who is Pakistani alongside his worker, dem go come work 9a.m and work till 1p.m and give the excuse they are going for lunch, they drive off in their van, only to return around 5p.m and work for another 30 mins and call it a day....dem dey run 2 projects at the same time!

My neighbour had to bear their shenanigans because she was paying them less than what a White British contractor would have charged.

Is a four-hour break really unreasonable for a eight-hour job?

The judgement of artisans ehn, must be special because normal human scale would break!

NemoDatQuod:
You had trust issues. Yet you agreed to come to the UK with your wife. I suspect you are the guy who was on here last year seeking counsel on this same issue, while you were still in Nigeria. Yet you came along with her.

My suggestion is, stop what you are doing right now. You are controlling your wife and if she uses that as evidence against you in the future, you will go to prison for a long while. Your wife is not your property. She has a right to go anywhere she wants to and come back when she wants or likes, without having to be troubled by you with phone calls and requests for video call evidence. That is the view of the governmental authorities here. What you have already done in calling her as you have been doing is termed controlling behaviour. Google it and check out the sentencing that will be imposed. Now her friend has become involved and will serve as a witness of your controlling behaviour and her part in pacifying you.

You brought your master to the UK against the advice you were given here last year. Learn to live with it. If you go to prison, you will regret life in this country. I know someone who is currently in prison because of this. All his hopes and aspirations are dashed at such a young age. Be very careful. Don't go ruining your life. Treat your wife as an equal partner who has her own choices, makes her own friends, goes and comes as she pleases. That is a friendly advice if you do not want to spend time serving His Majesty. And you know what happens when you are done serving His Majesty.

If you manage to come out of this unscathed, next time take very good care who you marry. Your partner practically has the power of life and death over you in this country.

@bold:

Cracking me up!

Just accept the bitter truth man, ur wife is cheating and u know it. U just don't want to believe it's true, fear women!

twang414:
I have been with my wife for 11 years, and throughout this period we have always had trust issues. The trust issues emanate mostly from her. Issues like not being accountable, not being transparent and disloyalty at its core. Eg, claiming shes at location B, whereas shes at location A, like calling her and not picking, but will pick other number calls and much more.

We have communicated in ways to make things better, she would promise to make things better but will at the end of the day backslide. further issues deepened, I got tired and couldn't tolerate more of it, so I repeatedly asked for a separation, but yet she disagrees. One of the major that happened now is here in UK, as we relocated last year Sep. She had met a new lady friend at a party, apparently they got to know more of each other after the lady forgot her kids bag at the location so my wife was asked to take it that she will come over to ours to pick it up since we live close to each other.

To cut long story short, the woman is into beauty products marketing, she involved my madam in the hustle and they seem to pair along well, invites her to events held in hotels and all that. The one they went for 3 days ago, after the event, she called me that she was done, didnt want to take uber prolly cos it was expensive, so she said the lady claimed she will drop her off. An hour later she called she was on her way that the ladies husband have come to pick them up, 40mins later she said there was traffic at woolich that it might take time b4 she gets back. Because of the trust issues we always have and haven't been sorted, I checked her lcoation via her findmyiphone and lo and behold they were at the womans house. I waited at least 15mins to see if maybe it was the traffic, but it wasnt, because her movement was at a complete halt.

So I called her, she didnt pick, gave her another 3 missed calls she didnt pick, so i called my daughters phone that was with her, she then picked saying that she was on a zoom meeting with some clients thats why she couldnt pick, but that shes in the car still heading home,though i could hear TV sound, so i was like babe, it dont sound like ur in the car, she was like the ladys husbands car is a Porsche car, you can hear any sound, so i said i was going to call her on video call, I called she didnt pick, she then called me back on video while showing she was in the car and it was at that time her movement on the map started showing she was moving, this might be too much to be doing, but it just seem glaringly obvious that there is something she is hiding, but the most painful part was that she now handed the phone to her friend to defend her that she was truly in the car bla bla bla, i had to cut the call off.

I felt so embarrassed and felt maybe I would not have told her that she wasnt in a car, or that she would have handled the situation better by not handing over the phone to her friend to talk to me.

Do you guys really think trust issues that havent been resolved over the last 10 years can still be worked out?

She wasn’t open with you in 9ja and you had the guts to relocate to the UK with her? Bro try get bp drugs with you at all time, best of luck

If you don't get hearth attack sooner or later, then thank your God.

Moh247:




I believe you are over 40 or close to 40

For your cardio vascular health you need to take things more easy and with more patience

She is the one who has trust issues...

She doesn't trust you can handle her truth and she keeps hiding many things from you because you are extremely judgemental of her


Now analyze your own emotions by answering this questions

1: why are you angry
2: why are you happy
3: why are you anxious
4: why are you stressed out
5: why are you disappointed


.

Your response seem interesting. Cam you say more? So will the lies she tell resolve things? Do you suggest he stops bothering about her? Will the affection not cease? Or the guy should occupy himself with someone or something else

Moh247:




I believe you are over 40 or close to 40

For your cardio vascular health you need to take things more easy and with more patience

She is the one who has trust issues...

She doesn't trust you can handle her truth and she keeps hiding many things from you because you are extremely judgemental of her


Now analyze your own emotions by answering this questions

1: why are you angry
2: why are you happy
3: why are you anxious
4: why are you stressed out
5: why are you disappointed


.

Terrible people are just terrible people. You don't make excuses for them unless you are equally as terrible as them.

The op's wife is a terrible human being and you're worse for trying to spin it around and blame the man.

Truth is the foundation of trust. Lies destroy trust and creates acrimony in relationships.

The op's wife is a perpetual liar and she may destroy the op if care is not taken.

My advice to you twang414 is that you should start taking careful and defensive measures to protect yourself and your children.

Your wife has found a demonic friend who'll continue to push and encourage her to be deviant and subtly abusive towards you. They know that UK system will protect them no matter their atrocity.

I won't be surprised if your wife was away for three days to suck dïcks for pounds.

1st paragraph: highlights her trust issues for 11 years.

2nd paragraph: her unwillingness to change.

Henceforth, just believe her.
The truth is, 11 years.... and still counting, is more than enough for her to have done the things you think she's done.

So, when next she tells you she's at the door when she's on the other side of the world, just say OK and move on.

Your peace of mind is super important right now!

twang414:
In as much as I wanted to quote each and every post I would have loved to respond to, I feel I should just summarize my point here real quick. Yes we have had issues which obviously led to me knowing she cheated on me, but u know women u cant catch them red handed unless you are lucky, That aside though cos I have gba kamun that whatever she wants to do she can do, I am busy trying to work my ass out to sort bills, but one thing you all need to understand that am surprised is not being pointed out is if equality is the main thing in this country, how can a man paying almost 80% of the bills is being treated un-equal? What happened 3 days ago wasnt me trying to track her or whatever, she had left the house since 9am, promised to be back by 3pm, and I had an appointment with someone for 4pm, and u cant leave kids at home here if u are caught, kids will be taken from you. So my major reason for the call was to inquire as to how close she was getting even though the time she was suppose to be home had elapsed. Na her hustle she find go, na my own hustle me sef dey find go knowing fully well i have even more to spend, am i suppose to be put under that kind of situation?

I really do have questions for some people saying am stalking my wife and she should be allowed to live her life. Is that truly what marriage is all about, if you guys that stated that are truly married, is it normal to u that if u call ur wife she dont take ur calls? Does it mean that she can be out there and come back anytime she wants without a legit explanation when we both have responsibility to take and tend to the needs and attention of the kids. I am really lost here.

Guy, before you seek marital advice here, you should be aware this place is filled with broke and wretched feminists and unrepentant simps who always find means to glorify women and their promiscuous lifestyle.

The woman your wife is now following has introduced your wife into illicit acts. Do well to pay attention and observe what's going on. Document your evidence for further reference.


Shalom.

LandMann:
Terrible people are just terrible people. You don't make excuses for them unless you are equally as terrible as them.

The op's wife is a terrible human being and you're worse for trying to spin it around and blame the man.

Truth is the foundation of trust. Lies destroy trust and creates acrimony in relationships.

The op's wife is a perpetual liar and she may destroy the op if care is not taken.

My advice to you twang414 is that you should start taking careful and defensive measures to protect yourself and your children.

Your wife has found a demonic friend who'll continue to push and encourage her to be deviant and subtly abusive towards you. They know that UK system will protect them no matter their atrocity.

I won't be surprised if your wife was away for three days to suck dïcks for pounds.

I'm even thinking the woman has introduced OP's wife into lesbianism.

Maybe they were having threesóme when OP was calling.

With this gender, nothing is impossible.

twang414:
In as much as I wanted to quote each and every post I would have loved to respond to, I feel I should just summarize my point here real quick. Yes we have had issues which obviously led to me knowing she cheated on me, but u know women u cant catch them red handed unless you are lucky, That aside though cos I have gba kamun that whatever she wants to do she can do, I am busy trying to work my ass out to sort bills, but one thing you all need to understand that am surprised is not being pointed out is if equality is the main thing in this country, how can a man paying almost 80% of the bills is being treated un-equal? What happened 3 days ago wasnt me trying to track her or whatever, she had left the house since 9am, promised to be back by 3pm, and I had an appointment with someone for 4pm, and u cant leave kids at home here if u are caught, kids will be taken from you. So my major reason for the call was to inquire as to how close she was getting even though the time she was suppose to be home had elapsed. Na her hustle she find go, na my own hustle me sef dey find go knowing fully well i have even more to spend, am i suppose to be put under that kind of situation?

I really do have questions for some people saying am stalking my wife and she should be allowed to live her life. Is that truly what marriage is all about, if you guys that stated that are truly married, is it normal to u that if u call ur wife she dont take ur calls? Does it mean that she can be out there and come back anytime she wants without a legit explanation when we both have responsibility to take and tend to the needs and attention of the kids. I am really lost here.

If you had these issues before travelling out, you shouldn't have travelled with your wife (if you still value the marriage) or at all.

This forum, online and offline were filled with enough experience to learn.

Since you have decided to go to Rome, it's best you learn to live as Romans do.

Even my husband cannot come and go as he pleases or be in Sagamu and tell me he is in Abeokuta. However, posters familiar with UK's lifestyle have told you to get used to it or go for counselling (hopefully, doesn't count against you in future).

I really do not know why you pay 80% of the bills when your wife works. Again, this is not Nigeria where such behaviour is rewarded. If God forbid you both divorce,
her lawyer can comfortably argue that you pay alimony to ensure she maintains the current lifestyle you have created for her.

Since you decided to migrate to the UK with a problematic wife (according to you), seat down, purge yourself of Nigerian mindset and buckle your shoes. People have advised you get a lawyer; I would opine that a lawyer is more important to you than a counsellor at this point.

I thought 'count the cost marriage wise before migration' was NL's doom story till friends who migrated iterated same thing over and over and mentioning marriages scattering left, right and center.

P.S.: if she wants to walk away, better embrace the Biblical injunction and let her go.

Ire o.

I can't take that type of woman to Oyibo country!

After Reading through.....
One thing.....free the many long things people dey yan.....
You be black man wey dey protect hin property.....
If she fall come faint, dem go say you no be caring man....
Jus relax....at least no be Naija una dey.....
She no get handbook, or else U for reset the woman .....
Na love....
You too give her some dose of medicine she giii yu....

It's time for some teen- youth adventure

Achor1111:
■ I can't take that type of woman to Oyibo country!

1. So which type of woman will you take to oyibo country? You all talk as though taking your own spouse abroad with you amounts to rewarding her in some way. Abeg get over this mentality already and try to focus on the main.

Faposky95:
After Reading through.....
One thing.....free the many long things people dey yan.....
You be black man wey dey protect hin property.....
If she fall come faint, dem go say you no be caring man....
Jus relax....at least no be Naija una dey.....
She no get handbook, or else U for reset the woman .....
Na love....
You too give her some dose of medicine she giii yu....

It's time for some teen- youth adventure

The black man's major delusion... he convinces himself that by virtue of marriage, he acquires for himself property.

twang414:
I have been with my wife for 11 years, and throughout this period we have always had trust issues. The trust issues emanate mostly from her. Issues like not being accountable, not being transparent and disloyalty at its core. Eg, claiming shes at location B, whereas shes at location A, like calling her and not picking, but will pick other number calls and much more.

We have communicated in ways to make things better, she would promise to make things better but will at the end of the day backslide. further issues deepened, I got tired and couldn't tolerate more of it, so I repeatedly asked for a separation, but yet she disagrees. One of the major that happened now is here in UK, as we relocated last year Sep. She had met a new lady friend at a party, apparently they got to know more of each other after the lady forgot her kids bag at the location so my wife was asked to take it that she will come over to ours to pick it up since we live close to each other.

To cut long story short, the woman is into beauty products marketing, she involved my madam in the hustle and they seem to pair along well, invites her to events held in hotels and all that. The one they went for 3 days ago, after the event, she called me that she was done, didnt want to take uber prolly cos it was expensive, so she said the lady claimed she will drop her off. An hour later she called she was on her way that the ladies husband have come to pick them up, 40mins later she said there was traffic at woolich that it might take time b4 she gets back. Because of the trust issues we always have and haven't been sorted, I checked her lcoation via her findmyiphone and lo and behold they were at the womans house. I waited at least 15mins to see if maybe it was the traffic, but it wasnt, because her movement was at a complete halt.

So I called her, she didnt pick, gave her another 3 missed calls she didnt pick, so i called my daughters phone that was with her, she then picked saying that she was on a zoom meeting with some clients thats why she couldnt pick, but that shes in the car still heading home,though i could hear TV sound, so i was like babe, it dont sound like ur in the car, she was like the ladys husbands car is a Porsche car, you can hear any sound, so i said i was going to call her on video call, I called she didnt pick, she then called me back on video while showing she was in the car and it was at that time her movement on the map started showing she was moving, this might be too much to be doing, but it just seem glaringly obvious that there is something she is hiding, but the most painful part was that she now handed the phone to her friend to defend her that she was truly in the car bla bla bla, i had to cut the call off.

I felt so embarrassed and felt maybe I would not have told her that she wasnt in a car, or that she would have handled the situation better by not handing over the phone to her friend to talk to me.

Do you guys really think trust issues that havent been resolved over the last 10 years can still be worked out?

Please go talk to your wife with facts and proofs, and stop keeping things in your mind that might become cancerous to you.

Kobojunkie:
The black man's major delusion... he convinces himself that by virtue of marriage, he acquires for himself property.

Try painting your skin and even brain white... it's ....the Black man's prerogative

I told my little neice to always tell me the truth no matter how bad she behaved or the mistake she made, then oneday, she spilled olive oil on my white bedspread so much that is unimaginable. When I asked, she calmly said Aunty , I did it while playing with my friend on your bed. I was very angry and flogged her and she said to me, YOU ASKED ME TO ALWAYS SAY THE TRUTH AND NOW MY TRUTH HAS CAUSED ME TROUBLE! I felt bad, she trusted my promise!

Is your wife's truthfulness causing her trouble?

Kobojunkie:
1. So which type of woman will you take to oyibo country? You all talk as though taking your own spouse abroad with you amounts to rewarding her in some way. Abeg get over this mentality already and try to focus on the main.

You didn't notice that her ill behavior escalated in Oyibo country as the op narrated?
Put yourself in the OP's shoe and quote me again 🤔

Faposky95:
■ Try painting your skin and even brain white... it's ....the Black man's prerogative

This retort makes absolutely no sense!

O ga ju lo. I quite understand you bro. When u are married to one with no element of Truth. Marriage shouldn't be like that, , I have been in ur shoes, I changed my 👞 nio. In as much i want to advise you, I can't till I can hear from ur spouse, until then no advise. U should know what I mean. Marriage is not what one can seek advise from outside. Oju Koro kin pa ojukoro je, to ba ko iwaju sie ko ta, bo ko eyin jan Lofa. Good luck

twang414:
In as much as I wanted to quote each and every post I would have loved to respond to, I feel I should just summarize my point here real quick. . I am really lost here.

Kobojunkie:
Plainly put! People should avoid marrying their stalkers abeg!

are you married at all? U just act like ur moniker sounds <Junk & junkie> u so judgemental. If u may Know marriage is not what u listen to a part and not hear from the two sides. I have severally came across ur comments many times on such issues, I pray u not be a victim one day.. u may not be lucky like "WE" other victims. I will advise u halt the Cruise or clout chasing with such matter.. remember ABUL ABEL & CHICKEN MATTER 🐔 OO

Achor1111:
■ You didn't notice that her ill behavior escalated in Oyibo country as the op narrated?
■ Put yourself in the OP's shoe and quote me again 🤔

1. Do people remain the same regardless of location?

2. In OP's shoes, I would look out for my mental health first and not go chasing shadows like he is doing. I would rather look inwards to resolving the supposed control issues I have, and afterward access the relationship where it is at that point in time.

Kobojunkie:
This retort makes absolutely no sense!

Look for the ones that make sense...okssssssss

twang414:
I have been with my wife for 11 years, and throughout this period we have always had trust issues. The trust issues emanate mostly from her. Issues like not being accountable, not being transparent and disloyalty at its core. Eg, claiming shes at location B, whereas shes at location A, like calling her and not picking, but will pick other number calls and much more.

We have communicated in ways to make things better, she would promise to make things better but will at the end of the day backslide. further issues deepened, I got tired and couldn't tolerate more of it, so I repeatedly asked for a separation, but yet she disagrees. One of the major that happened now is here in UK, as we relocated last year Sep. She had met a new lady friend at a party, apparently they got to know more of each other after the lady forgot her kids bag at the location so my wife was asked to take it that she will come over to ours to pick it up since we live close to each other.

To cut long story short, the woman is into beauty products marketing, she involved my madam in the hustle and they seem to pair along well, invites her to events held in hotels and all that. The one they went for 3 days ago, after the event, she called me that she was done, didnt want to take uber prolly cos it was expensive, so she said the lady claimed she will drop her off. An hour later she called she was on her way that the ladies husband have come to pick them up, 40mins later she said there was traffic at woolich that it might take time b4 she gets back. Because of the trust issues we always have and haven't been sorted, I checked her lcoation via her findmyiphone and lo and behold they were at the womans house. I waited at least 15mins to see if maybe it was the traffic, but it wasnt, because her movement was at a complete halt.

So I called her, she didnt pick, gave her another 3 missed calls she didnt pick, so i called my daughters phone that was with her, she then picked saying that she was on a zoom meeting with some clients thats why she couldnt pick, but that shes in the car still heading home,though i could hear TV sound, so i was like babe, it dont sound like ur in the car, she was like the ladys husbands car is a Porsche car, you can hear any sound, so i said i was going to call her on video call, I called she didnt pick, she then called me back on video while showing she was in the car and it was at that time her movement on the map started showing she was moving, this might be too much to be doing, but it just seem glaringly obvious that there is something she is hiding, but the most painful part was that she now handed the phone to her friend to defend her that she was truly in the car bla bla bla, i had to cut the call off.

I felt so embarrassed and felt maybe I would not have told her that she wasnt in a car, or that she would have handled the situation better by not handing over the phone to her friend to talk to me.

Do you guys really think trust issues that havent been resolved over the last 10 years can still be worked out?

Your wife might not be into anything fishy but she is a chronic liar. Some people are like that, they just lie for no reason.

twang414:
I have been with my wife for 11 years, and throughout this period we have always had trust issues. The trust issues emanate mostly from her. Issues like not being accountable, not being transparent and disloyalty at its core. Eg, claiming shes at location B, whereas shes at location A, like calling her and not picking, but will pick other number calls and much more.

We have communicated in ways to make things better, she would promise to make things better but will at the end of the day backslide. further issues deepened, I got tired and couldn't tolerate more of it, so I repeatedly asked for a separation, but yet she disagrees. One of the major that happened now is here in UK, as we relocated last year Sep. She had met a new lady friend at a party, apparently they got to know more of each other after the lady forgot her kids bag at the location so my wife was asked to take it that she will come over to ours to pick it up since we live close to each other.

To cut long story short, the woman is into beauty products marketing, she involved my madam in the hustle and they seem to pair along well, invites her to events held in hotels and all that. The one they went for 3 days ago, after the event, she called me that she was done, didnt want to take uber prolly cos it was expensive, so she said the lady claimed she will drop her off. An hour later she called she was on her way that the ladies husband have come to pick them up, 40mins later she said there was traffic at woolich that it might take time b4 she gets back. Because of the trust issues we always have and haven't been sorted, I checked her lcoation via her findmyiphone and lo and behold they were at the womans house. I waited at least 15mins to see if maybe it was the traffic, but it wasnt, because her movement was at a complete halt.

So I called her, she didnt pick, gave her another 3 missed calls she didnt pick, so i called my daughters phone that was with her, she then picked saying that she was on a zoom meeting with some clients thats why she couldnt pick, but that shes in the car still heading home,though i could hear TV sound, so i was like babe, it dont sound like ur in the car, she was like the ladys husbands car is a Porsche car, you can hear any sound, so i said i was going to call her on video call, I called she didnt pick, she then called me back on video while showing she was in the car and it was at that time her movement on the map started showing she was moving, this might be too much to be doing, but it just seem glaringly obvious that there is something she is hiding, but the most painful part was that she now handed the phone to her friend to defend her that she was truly in the car bla bla bla, i had to cut the call off.

I felt so embarrassed and felt maybe I would not have told her that she wasnt in a car, or that she would have handled the situation better by not handing over the phone to her friend to talk to me.

Do you guys really think trust issues that havent been resolved over the last 10 years can still be worked out?

It will never be resolved. Just ignore things and take it as a compromise. I have been there before and experienced it.

Kobojunkie:
1. Do people remain the same regardless of location?

2. In OP's shoes, I would look out for my mental health first and not go chasing shadows like he is doing. I would rather look inwards to resolving the supposed control issues I have, and afterward access the relationship where it is at that point in time.

Why is positive change difficult?

twang414:
In as much as I wanted to quote each and every post I would have loved to respond to, I feel I should just summarize my point here real quick. Yes we have had issues which obviously led to me knowing she cheated on me, but u know women u cant catch them red handed unless you are lucky, That aside though cos I have gba kamun that whatever she wants to do she can do, I am busy trying to work my ass out to sort bills, but one thing you all need to understand that am surprised is not being pointed out is if equality is the main thing in this country, how can a man paying almost 80% of the bills is being treated un-equal? What happened 3 days ago wasnt me trying to track her or whatever, she had left the house since 9am, promised to be back by 3pm, and I had an appointment with someone for 4pm, and u cant leave kids at home here if u are caught, kids will be taken from you. So my major reason for the call was to inquire as to how close she was getting even though the time she was suppose to be home had elapsed. Na her hustle she find go, na my own hustle me sef dey find go knowing fully well i have even more to spend, am i suppose to be put under that kind of situation?

I really do have questions for some people saying am stalking my wife and she should be allowed to live her life. Is that truly what marriage is all about, if you guys that stated that are truly married, is it normal to u that if u call ur wife she dont take ur calls? Does it mean that she can be out there and come back anytime she wants without a legit explanation when we both have responsibility to take and tend to the needs and attention of the kids. I am really lost here.

Dude, you just compounded your problem. Bringing her to UK with such unresolved issues is not very wise. But only you know your exact reasons and circumstances.

Look, many women here will guilt-trip you because they want men to be their poodle. Don't be surprised. They want men to accept behaviours from them that they won't tolerate from the wife of their bother or son.
First, did you probably did DNA test on your kids before embassy accepted your application. If you didn't need DNA test, you should have done so on your own. Nothing like "oh the kids are my carbon copy".

Because about 35% of firstborn kids and 25% of ALL kids belong to another man outside. So you can see why so many women want men to tolerate their suspicious movements. Cheating is rampant. It's much easier for women to cheat. Men need to spin and most times spend money first. Women don't. Women are also super experts at covering their tracks.

Only phone hacking catches them red-handed most times. In the West, you even need wife's consent or court order to do DNA test because govt knows that if DNA test is allowed willy-nilly, super-kassala go burst. Hundreds of thousands of families will scatter.

If your kids are yours, at least one pass mark. Manage the rest for now. Involve a lawyer. Prepare yourself because she will still meet many "I can't be a slave to any man" ladies from failed marriages all over those churches. She might not manage the bad advise many will give her well. So that when push comes to shove, you are ready.

Also I guess you brough your whole family to better your kids' future. Be patient and let them be growing. But prepare for anything. No near-perfect woman anywhere. A seemingly near-perfect wife may be codedly cheating, who knows?

Continue to be a good dad and hubby.