₦airaland Forum

unbiased2021:
Sounds like you’re not married.
Well there are other ways to ginger the man up through negligence. If you ginger am, he go man up. Not divorce cos it’s not rosy out there as a single momma of 2 either

Giftedhands45:
I have to join this forum to post this tonight.

I'm in my early thirties, my husband is just two years older than me. My husband has always been neglecting his responsibilities even before we got married, but I was seeing it as he doesn't have a better job and a struggling guy whom we can both join hands together to build each other. I endured everything with him. I have always supported and provided without complain.
Since last year my husband lost his job, since then, he has refused to look for any other source of income. Even when he had a job, he always have one story or the other to tell about his monthly salaries. So, he still doesn't provide.
Once, there's nothing in the house, he will keep watching because I can't watch my two children Starve. I will try everything, even call friends, families and borrow. He doesn't care how I borrowed and how I paid.


Now, he wakes up every morning and still go back to sleep. Whatever I asked him, he don't always have. He's response always is ''I don't have money ''
I am the only one sourcing out everything in this house, I don't have a job as well, just struggling up and down with a business I do.

There's no food, school fees, bill, everything, he will ignore. I can't watch my children suffer. So, I keep struggling without any help. But he eats food and uses everything in the house with us. He wouldn't provide, but he can use them once they're available.
Our house rent will soon expire and he has no plan towards That. The previous one I paid, but presently, my business is down

Lately, I've been thinking. I've never cheated since I entered this marriage, but If I keep struggling all myself like this, my children will suffer. I feel, I need someone who loves me and willing to support me as well.
My children are too used to their father, it borders me if I separate them from him.

Leaving a marriage because he's not taking responsibilities, does that make me a bad woman?

What could make a man to be very comfortable not providing for his family but wouldn't want to loss the said family?

Have you ever been in my shoes, what would you advise me?

GodPrince:
abeg shut up your mouth, you wise well well so how come different guys them take fhuck the hell out of you give you belle run leave you to take care of 2 bastard babies wey dey grow up with you now and they nor know their fathers? The Igbo boy wen dey fhuck you now for warri go still leave you wen he don taya to fhuck your old weak Toto after he give you 3rd child belle he go discharge leave you. U dey advice her to get problem with her jobless husband but different people don fhuck you get belle run leave children for you, abi u think say we nor know your matter for area? Kolo

Octopusssy:
He is capping rubbish with reckless abandon. Check him offline, it is possible he and the op's husband are in the same WhatsApp group

bukatyne:
1. We use you people as example because the men dey manage provide. The other men in these cultures DO NOT provide and DO NOT do chores, DO NOT lead in the home. Take them out and their presence and absence is same.

2. I guessed as much.

3. True

4. That's why I am very insistent on a responsible husband. That wanting treatment has Kings is innate. Whether they do, they no do; they want that treatment.

5. Nice one

6. You see this ehn, will keep baffling me till the end of time. That's why I don't take most of them complaining seriously. You complain, I note how you train your sons and younger men around you. It is same, I look the other way.

7. Access to cheap help doesn't help matters. If your husband is not responsible at home, just pick a underaged child wanting to escape generational poverty and overburden.

8. 😃 😀 😄 😁 🤣 😂 😃 😀 😄 😁 truth is if you don't hold them accountable when they are not willing to pick up the slack, you will do it all alone and be overworked and bitter.

9. As in.

It is well.

Skyview01:
Why did you get into a marriage both of you are not financially and emotionally prepared for?

Why bring the poor kids to come suffer when both of you are not ready financially?

I call it wickedness when you have kids without the means to take care of them.

I have no sympathy for you, I only pity the poor innocent kids. Instead of looking for ways to solve the problems you willfully created, you are looking for another man to shift your burdens.

You still will never learn and are always seeking for shortcuts.

MARRIAGE AND CHILDBEARING ARE NOT NECESSARY AND SUFFICIENT CONDITIONS FOR HAPPINESS IN LIFE!

RoadMozart:
I can relate

My dad was like that. We the children and our mother left him. Since then we've recorded massive progress in the family

Giftedhands45:
I have to join this forum to post this tonight.

I'm in my early thirties, my husband is just two years older than me. My husband has always been neglecting his responsibilities even before we got married, but I was seeing it as he doesn't have a better job and a struggling guy whom we can both join hands together to build each other. I endured everything with him. I have always supported and provided without complain.
Since last year my husband lost his job, since then, he has refused to look for any other source of income. Even when he had a job, he always have one story or the other to tell about his monthly salaries. So, he still doesn't provide.
Once, there's nothing in the house, he will keep watching because I can't watch my two children Starve. I will try everything, even call friends, families and borrow. He doesn't care how I borrowed and how I paid.


Now, he wakes up every morning and still go back to sleep. Whatever I asked him, he don't always have. He's response always is ''I don't have money ''
I am the only one sourcing out everything in this house, I don't have a job as well, just struggling up and down with a business I do.

There's no food, school fees, bill, everything, he will ignore. I can't watch my children suffer. So, I keep struggling without any help. But he eats food and uses everything in the house with us. He wouldn't provide, but he can use them once they're available.
Our house rent will soon expire and he has no plan towards That. The previous one I paid, but presently, my business is down

Lately, I've been thinking. I've never cheated since I entered this marriage, but If I keep struggling all myself like this, my children will suffer. I feel, I need someone who loves me and willing to support me as well.
My children are too used to their father, it borders me if I separate them from him.

Leaving a marriage because he's not taking responsibilities, does that make me a bad woman?

What could make a man to be very comfortable not providing for his family but wouldn't want to loss the said family?

Have you ever been in my shoes, what would you advise me?

unbiased2021:
Sounds like you’re not married.
Well there are other ways to ginger the man up through negligence. If you ginger am, he go man up. Not divorce cos it’s not rosy out there as a single momma of 2 either

President2001:
You can never know his pain until you're in his shoe, just because he was silent does not making him a lazy man you need to put your best together so that he can overcome [ when you cheat you have a regret you will nurse till end of your life ] prayer is the key

cococandy:
Just know if you continue you will do everything by yourself until the end of your lives. He will never change and he will never take on your responsibilities seeing as you’re taking his. Instead he will consider it insulting if you ask him to. So you’ll end up married but single. Decide what you want

Giftedhands45:
Age is not our problem here.
Not going out to source for a means of livelihood is the problem here.

CodeTemplar:
Stop replying to your thoughts on a public forum.

Klass99:
Lol 🤣. I can't deal with men who think that way or act that way. Weren't they created first to lead, subdue, dominate, multiply and be fruitful............long before we were ever created?

Aren't they meant to be the head and captains of their homes again? How do you even begin to submit to such men who want to be given reorientation and purpose by a woman? I can't deal ooo. What calibre of men exist today like this?

Luckysbab:
Will you offer your husband to take her in as a second wife?

Giftedhands45:
I have to join this forum to post this tonight.

I'm in my early thirties, my husband is just two years older than me. My husband has always been neglecting his responsibilities even before we got married, but I was seeing it as he doesn't have a better job and a struggling guy whom we can both join hands together to build each other. I endured everything with him. I have always supported and provided without complain.
Since last year my husband lost his job, since then, he has refused to look for any other source of income. Even when he had a job, he always have one story or the other to tell about his monthly salaries. So, he still doesn't provide.
Once, there's nothing in the house, he will keep watching because I can't watch my two children Starve. I will try everything, even call friends, families and borrow. He doesn't care how I borrowed and how I paid.


Now, he wakes up every morning and still go back to sleep. Whatever I asked him, he don't always have. He's response always is ''I don't have money ''
I am the only one sourcing out everything in this house, I don't have a job as well, just struggling up and down with a business I do.

There's no food, school fees, bill, everything, he will ignore. I can't watch my children suffer. So, I keep struggling without any help. But he eats food and uses everything in the house with us. He wouldn't provide, but he can use them once they're available.
Our house rent will soon expire and he has no plan towards That. The previous one I paid, but presently, my business is down

Lately, I've been thinking. I've never cheated since I entered this marriage, but If I keep struggling all myself like this, my children will suffer. I feel, I need someone who loves me and willing to support me as well.
My children are too used to their father, it borders me if I separate them from him.

Leaving a marriage because he's not taking responsibilities, does that make me a bad woman?

What could make a man to be very comfortable not providing for his family but wouldn't want to loss the said family?

Have you ever been in my shoes, what would you advise me?

GodPrince:
abeg shut up you know nothing. You think life is about fhuckin anyhow for 2k n indomie

MilitantAtheist:
why disgracing your father

Giftedhands45:
I have to join this forum to post this tonight.

I'm in my early thirties, my husband is just two years older than me. My husband has always been neglecting his responsibilities even before we got married, but I was seeing it as he doesn't have a better job and a struggling guy whom we can both join hands together to build each other. I endured everything with him. I have always supported and provided without complain.
Since last year my husband lost his job, since then, he has refused to look for any other source of income. Even when he had a job, he always have one story or the other to tell about his monthly salaries. So, he still doesn't provide.
Once, there's nothing in the house, he will keep watching because I can't watch my two children Starve. I will try everything, even call friends, families and borrow. He doesn't care how I borrowed and how I paid.


Now, he wakes up every morning and still go back to sleep. Whatever I asked him, he don't always have. He's response always is ''I don't have money ''
I am the only one sourcing out everything in this house, I don't have a job as well, just struggling up and down with a business I do.

There's no food, school fees, bill, everything, he will ignore. I can't watch my children suffer. So, I keep struggling without any help. But he eats food and uses everything in the house with us. He wouldn't provide, but he can use them once they're available.
Our house rent will soon expire and he has no plan towards That. The previous one I paid, but presently, my business is down

Lately, I've been thinking. I've never cheated since I entered this marriage, but If I keep struggling all myself like this, my children will suffer. I feel, I need someone who loves me and willing to support me as well.
My children are too used to their father, it borders me if I separate them from him.

Leaving a marriage because he's not taking responsibilities, does that make me a bad woman?

What could make a man to be very comfortable not providing for his family but wouldn't want to loss the said family?

Have you ever been in my shoes, what would you advise me?

Trizyd:
Leave your husband and that will be a mistake you will live to regret forever. You can mark my words.

It's only your side of the story I read, but even from the second sentence, I can spot issues coming from you yourself.

Be wise.