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Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by omonla10(m): 4:31pm On Aug 27, 2023
samsegs:
So u feel its all about Japa....i've got a sen bro that just japa,,this dude was making 450k/month where he works here in 9ja,,bro is now regretting y he even japa sef,,....japa is for those struggling in 9ja,,not those that ve made it here in 9ja
in some months ur bro will be fine.. Fact is that i was earning over 1m monthly in naija with a very good duplex and cars. But I was not secure cos most people in my family (including wifey) and neighbourhood were earning maybe around 50k to100k monthly. U constantly looking to help and help and help while hearing different stories everyday.(making me always depressed)
Now imagine urself here, I am earning well above that and even my wife earns above that too even while schooling.. Yet, most friends around me even live better with good life.
Come see cars wey my guys park every Saturday for world class football pitch which is accessible just by everyone's house. Even 2023 benz o

Now picture my kids getting world class education without paying a dime as school fees. With free laptops sef in this uk.

5 Likes

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by Meerahbel: 4:33pm On Aug 27, 2023
Anonymoususher:


My brother na that thing dey fear me. Like this I get offer to japa to Canada through visit visa with the agent promising to get me job offer with lmia approval to convert the visa to working visa. Fee is 2.5m and I am not paying anything except 250k for visa processing which will be deducted from the 2.5m once visa shows but fear no gree me.

Naija hard but at least I dey see above 300k monthly, e no go anywhere but hunger no dey catch me. I just dey fear what if I go there and meet something different from what he said? What if that lmia approval job isn't as easy as he sounds? What If them even abandon me after getting there? Shey I fit survive a night for Canada's harsh weather

Omo, I just pushed the offer to my friend. He said he is willing to take the risk. No problem he can go and make way
Adapt
Overcome
F-alse
E- expectation
A-ppearing
R- eal
People are making it Nigerian and other nationality is the same Canada are making it, life in itself is a risk. No ventured, Nothing Gained
Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by Meerahbel: 4:34pm On Aug 27, 2023
omonla10:
in some months ur bro will be fine.. Fact is that i was earning over 1m monthly in naija with a very good duplex and cars. But I was not secure cos most people in my family (including wifey) and neighbourhood were earning maybe around 50k to100k monthly. U constantly looking to help and help and help while hearing different stories everyday.(making me always depressed)
Now imagine urself here, I am earning well above that and even my wife earns above that too even while schooling.. Yet, most friends around me even live better with good life.
Come see cars wey my guys park every Saturday for world class football pitch which is accessible just by everyone's house. Even 2023 benz o

Now picture my kids getting world class education without paying a dime as school fees. With free laptops sef in this uk.
Which City are you in UK?
Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by omonla10(m): 4:35pm On Aug 27, 2023
Meerahbel:
Which City are you in UK?
just outside London, Grays to be precise

1 Like

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by Meerahbel: 4:36pm On Aug 27, 2023
Afrobasic:
Japa is a must.

I used to be depressed when I was in Nigeria until I japed.

Depression is all gone now cool
Which country did you go to?
Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by Meerahbel: 4:37pm On Aug 27, 2023
Gerrard59:


Most of your politicians and celebrities japa'd during their youthful years. A whole lot did. How did almost all achieve second passport status? There is no prominent Nigerian politician who does not have a second passport for him/she and his/her family
Even Attahiru Jega (former INEC Chairman) has a second passport, that's when I gave up hope in this country
Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by Meerahbel: 4:37pm On Aug 27, 2023
omonla10:
just outside London, Grays to be precise
What would you advise young Nigerian probably wanting to toe your path but have fears?
Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by omonla10(m): 4:44pm On Aug 27, 2023
Meerahbel:
What would you advise young Nigerian probably wanting to toe your path but have fears?
best way is if u can come single or with ur wife/husband alone.. Then the 2 of u can work. And collect just one room.. U will be saving more than a bank manager salary for naija even after ur monthly expenses

3 Likes

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by YeyeGbami: 4:50pm On Aug 27, 2023
sammyonal:
nah so I talk and nah the thing wey dem dey call me be that but when opportunity came around nobody tell me before I carry my Kaya commot. Nigeria don do me shege, I dey observe from far.

I understand very well. If i go enter that way it has to be route wey make brain. Not all these slavery in disguise

1 Like

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by omonla10(m): 4:53pm On Aug 27, 2023
YeyeGbami:


I understand very well. If i go enter that way it has to be route wey make brain. Not all these slavery in disguise
for example?
Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by YeyeGbami: 5:01pm On Aug 27, 2023
omonla10:
for example?

in my own opinion, i don’t see why anyone would pay millions of naira to get 5 year care visa. I’ve seen care job descriptions and i shake my head, after taking care of your client. You will now start cleaning the house, running errands. Some call it “live in care worker”

If person no get anything working for him/her here, i won’t blame them for taking the visa.

It’s like deja vu

2 Likes

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by Meerahbel: 5:03pm On Aug 27, 2023
YeyeGbami:


in my own opinion, i don’t see why anyone would pay millions of naira to get 5 year care visa. I’ve seen care job descriptions and i shake my head, after taking care of your client. You will now start cleaning the house, running errands. Some call it “live in care worker”

If person no get anything working for him/her here, i won’t blame them for taking the visa.

It’s like deja vu

I know of 15 Msc holder that would do the bolded without blinking an eye lid.

1 Like

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by emekajacobogbon(m): 5:09pm On Aug 27, 2023
lendahand:
Amen sir, You will surely fulfill your destiny in God. Continue the good work.
Thanks
Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by toprealman: 5:17pm On Aug 27, 2023
Chigozie321:
I'm sure everyone here has a friend or relative that has JAPA in the last two years.

My siblings have all migrated. I'm the only one remaining in Naija. I do not intend to leave the country for some personal reasons at least for now.

At times I feel lonely and unhappy seeing that most of my loved ones have dispersed all over the world. No more going to weddings, house warming, naming, etc. together cry

Where I work, my closest work pals have all migrated. Even most of my church co-workers and neighbours sef don commot.

As an individual/family, how has it affected you? And how are you rebuilding your local network?

How are you making new quality relationships in the workplace, home, place of worship, etc.?
Selfish, self centered fella is all I see here!
People should not pursue their dream so you can have an owambe to attend ba?
Until you can disconnect your happiness from people, dissociate from entitlement and dependency, you have not started.

1 Like

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by emmaodet: 6:12pm On Aug 27, 2023
Princewill1:
No country is a paradise.

Hardship is everywhere!

it's only dvmb people that doesn't know this.

Agreed but what we are saying is that in abroad, atleast there is a fair level playing ground.
If you study and you are good, chances are you will get a good job without your tribe, religion been a stopper.
You don't need a letter from a senator or Oba or governor to get a job and that is what the common man is asking for.

1 Like

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by emmaodet: 6:20pm On Aug 27, 2023
seanwilliam:
Most of my day-one friends have left.
I feel somehow thinking about it sometime, cos most guys around me now are not REAL..
But nothing spoil, 20 children no fit play together for 20 years.

Many of my friends have left too and it feels somehow.
In my own case, it is even different because I can't afford to fail here.
Many of my friends and family have told me to leave severally for years because I am even in a good position to.
I have good traveling history, money to fund my account etc but decided to stay back so if I get broke along the line, everyone will soooooo abuse me that why didn't I leave when I had the opportunity to.
To even make matters worst, my father in-law more or less had my type of lifestyle, opportunities then when he was working as a doctor in saudi and made a lot of money.
His mates later moved down to UK and US since they couldn't naturalize in saudi and are doing fine.
He came back later, invested in pharmacy and poultry but flopped and now he is broke, washed up and has stroke due to overthinking.
I just pray I am not towing that path too.
Occasionally my wife do give me that subtle jab of "you know we can't afford to fail" pressure at me. That she hopes we know and are sure of what we are doing.
Anyway, I plan to even go to that UK and Canada sef to go do 1 month each and see for myself how things are then we come back and decide on what we want.
Not what agent says or friends or what we read on social media. Since I have the finance, let me just go with my family and let us see with our eyes.
Visit visa then we decide on what we want

10 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by sammyonal: 7:15pm On Aug 27, 2023
YeyeGbami:


I understand very well. If i go enter that way it has to be route wey make brain. Not all these slavery in disguise
yeah bro, enter the legit way it's the best and it's gives u soft landing. But Nigerians no send oooo, there own be say anyhow they enter dem go survive am.
Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by madjune(m): 7:34pm On Aug 27, 2023
Folks and this japa thing sef.

Thing is, if you've a proper channel and secured documentation program intact, better move.

Over 15yrs ago I left Naija, looking back; nothing much has changed back home.
NEPA was amongst the main reasons I left.
My line of work requires constant light supply and AC.
And, how's NEPA today? Still much the same.

Fact is, if you cam thrive in any locality in Naija where you struggle for water to bath, fetch petrol for gen, battle mechanic wahala, potholes on the roads, noise pollution on the roads, exhaust fumes, daily inflationary rates etc I can go on and on.

If you can deal with the above and be successful in Naija, do yourself a favor and stay.

Here I am, the price of ground nut oil has remained fairly constant over 20yrs.
Same with gas price.

Who really needs side stress that takes away 70% of your life's energy on a daily basis?

In this 21st century?

Abeg.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by DrAkpamudehe: 7:38pm On Aug 27, 2023
ochukoccna:
Most are japaing based on economic considerations yet there's more to life than what to eat, drink and rainment to put on
If your destiny is linked to Japa, please do and go fulfill it there
However, if it is Naija, hold ship
It sounds delusional to the mind yet when Naija captivity turns around in the days ahead, you'll cherish this nation & her pali more than gold and every precious resource
Naija as a land is blessed but her leadership as presently constituted are ravenous beasts.

This one is still delusional. I belong to the political class and I can tell you for free that Nigeria will never get better because it was built on a bad foundation. Whatever building U constructed on a bad foundation will always sink

3 Likes

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by Pandar01: 7:47pm On Aug 27, 2023
Nicols:
The little hope I had for this country which made me return back after 2 attempts vanished on May 29th. Good luck to those who still believe in this entity. I know I can survive anywhere but my children sure deserves better and I wouldn't like them to go through what I passed through to be where I am today. I'll keep ya'll in my prayers.

Another lazy Nigerian blaming the government for his failure...😆😆

Thos can only be an Igbo man ...very hatefilled souls

1 Like

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by Basher8583: 7:57pm On Aug 27, 2023
Rubyjade:
Which message? Sweetie! My colleague went 8 months ago, she's far better than me here. She said, "she can confidently save 500,000 naira after every other expenses".

Erona my course mate, that came out with a 3rd class, his building his second house.

Iya fati's husband that has been there for over 6 years has finished building his hotel business, a house and planning on bringing Iya fati to the state, their son left last year.

My HR just got her IP same with my operations manager.

The examples cited above, who don achieve pass, the siblings & family members are doing better that him here in Nigeria. I used to think Nigeria would be better but now I have had sense by force.

No one is stopping you na. You can go and slave yourself away. Shebi na the exchange rate dey make una dey japa to do rubbish work.

3 Likes

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by Meerahbel: 8:01pm On Aug 27, 2023
emmaodet:


Many of my friends have left too and it feels somehow.
In my own case, it is even different because I can't afford to fail here.
Many of my friends and family have told me to leave severally for years because I am even in a good position to.
I have good traveling history, money to fund my account etc but decided to stay back so if I get broke along the line, everyone will soooooo abuse me that why didn't I leave when I had the opportunity to.
To even make matters worst, my father in-law more or less had my type of lifestyle, opportunities then when he was working as a doctor in saudi and made a lot of money.
His mates later moved down to UK and US since they couldn't naturalize in saudi and are doing fine.
He came back later, invested in pharmacy and poultry but flopped and now he is broke, washed up and has stroke due to overthinking.
I just pray I am not towing that path too.
Occasionally my wife do give me that subtle jab of "you know we can't afford to fail" pressure at me. That she hopes we know and are sure of what we are doing.
Anyway, I plan to even go to that UK and Canada sef to go do 1 month each and see for myself how things are then we come back and decide on what we want.
Not what agent says or friends or what we read on social media. Since I have the finance, let me just go with my family and let us see with our eyes.
Visit visa then we decide on what we want
Oga, please 🙏 leave if you can.
Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by Tonnierichy(m): 8:02pm On Aug 27, 2023
Chigozie321:
I'm sure everyone here has a friend or relative that has JAPA in the last two years.

My siblings have all migrated. I'm the only one remaining in Naija. I do not intend to leave the country for some personal reasons at least for now.

At times I feel lonely and unhappy seeing that most of my loved ones have dispersed all over the world. No more going to weddings, house warming, naming, etc. together cry

Where I work, my closest work pals have all migrated. Even most of my church co-workers and neighbours sef don commot.

As an individual/family, how has it affected you? And how are you rebuilding your local network?

How are you making new quality relationships in the workplace, home, place of worship, etc.?
Honestly it's been hard. Having to make new connections has been crazy. I'm tired.

1 Like

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by Meerahbel: 8:04pm On Aug 27, 2023
madjune:
Folks and this japa thing sef.

Thing is, if you've a proper channel and secured documentation program intact, better move.

Over 15yrs ago I left Naija, looking back; nothing much has changed back home.
NEPA was amongst the main reasons I left.
My line of work requires constant light supply and AC.
And, how's NEPA today? Still much the same.

Fact is, if you cam thrive in any locality in Naija where you struggle for water to bath, fetch petrol for gen, battle mechanic wahala, potholes on the roads, noise pollution on the roads, exhaust fumes, daily inflationary rates etc I can go on and on.

If you can deal with the above and be successful in Naija, do yourself a favor and stay.

Here I am, the price of ground nut oil has remained fairly constant over 20yrs.
Same with gas price.

Who really needs side stress that takes away 70% of your life's energy on a daily basis?

In this 21st century?

Abeg.
Abi

1 Like

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by Hotguy27: 8:07pm On Aug 27, 2023
Chigozie321:
I'm sure everyone here has a friend or relative that has JAPA in the last two years.

My siblings have all migrated. I'm the only one remaining in Naija. I do not intend to leave the country for some personal reasons at least for now.

At times I feel lonely and unhappy seeing that most of my loved ones have dispersed all over the world. No more going to weddings, house warming, naming, etc. together cry

Where I work, my closest work pals have all migrated. Even most of my church co-workers and neighbours sef don commot.

As an individual/family, how has it affected you? And how are you rebuilding your local network?

How are you making new quality relationships in the workplace, home, place of worship, etc.?


The earlier you Japa the better. The first day you moved out you would start regretting why you have not travelled out ever since.

3 Likes

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by gbengaoyeladun(m): 8:40pm On Aug 27, 2023
Am going to UK tomorrow, thanks for the opportunity to leave this Nigeria....no looking back...bye






........baba God let my dream come through... 😂
Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by sweetTai(m): 8:55pm On Aug 27, 2023
The effect of JAPA is worse than that! When young and able bodied young people leave their fathers land to a greener pasture, they make the other side greener while their fathers land rot and perish.

2 Likes

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by sweetTai(m): 9:02pm On Aug 27, 2023
gbengaoyeladun:
Am going to UK tomorrow, thanks for the opportunity to leave this Nigeria....no looking back...bye






........baba God let my dream come through... 😂

May God grant you the wisdom to plan and look back some day. Not all that glitters is Gold. I have been in America for 26+ years and it was just like yesterday. I never planned to stay this long. Remember this conversation and thank me later.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by ghettochild(m): 9:33pm On Aug 27, 2023
I was at a downturn in 2016, after I quit my business n moved back to Lagos.
But late 2016, October to be precise...met this SA chick online.
Well long story cut short..
Abroad is good in terms of security,electricity, infrastructure and peace of mind.
And if u must japa, make sure the country u dey go dey favor newbie and make sure u learn a skill ooo..
Many graduates dey SA here wey don turp Pro barber,nail tech etc

1 Like

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by yewit37486: 9:45pm On Aug 27, 2023
madjune:
Folks and this japa thing sef.

Thing is, if you've a proper channel and secured documentation program intact, better move.

Over 15yrs ago I left Naija, looking back; nothing much has changed back home.
NEPA was amongst the main reasons I left.
My line of work requires constant light supply and AC.
And, how's NEPA today? Still much the same.

Fact is, if you cam thrive in any locality in Naija where you struggle for water to bath, fetch petrol for gen, battle mechanic wahala, potholes on the roads, noise pollution on the roads, exhaust fumes, daily inflationary rates etc I can go on and on.

If you can deal with the above and be successful in Naija, do yourself a favor and stay.

Here I am, the price of ground nut oil has remained fairly constant over 20yrs.
Same with gas price.


Who really needs side stress that takes away 70% of your life's energy on a daily basis?

In this 21st century?

Abeg.

With the global inflation trend upwards since last year or so, I very much doubt this. I mean even basic staples in the UK had ridiculous increases in the last one year, not to mention 20 years.

2 Likes

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by yewit37486: 9:47pm On Aug 27, 2023
Pandar01:


Another lazy Nigerian blaming the government for his failure...😆😆

Thos can only be an Igbo man ...very hatefilled souls

Abeg, this thread has been sane with people sharing their views both for and against, don't bring your tribalism here and pollute it. Thanks.

4 Likes

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by IbeOkehie: 10:17pm On Aug 27, 2023
(Quote) samsegs:
So u feel its all about Japa....i've got a sen bro that just japa,,this dude was making 450k/month where he works here in 9ja,,bro is now regretting y he even japa sef,,....japa is for those struggling in 9ja,,not those that ve made it here in 9ja[/quote]

My friend 450K is less than $500/mo. That's easy money for ANYONE living in the USA and I say that with 30 years experience starting at the very bottom of the workforce. I regularly sent thousands of dollars to Nigeria working as a cook in a restaurant. Add to that, I lived at a living standard that 450K/mo can't buy in Nigeria. Yes, there's things you can enjoy today at that ₦‎450K salary range that a cook can't enjoy, but when you look at the broad picture, a cook in the USA lives a better life.

(Quote) (Report) 9 Likes (Like) (Share)
Cutehector:

lmao.. People forget to tell themselves the truth. No skills nothing and they want to japa.

No one needs any skills to live a good life in the USA. Anyone can start at the very bottom and move up. That's not speculation, it's FACT.

There are people I know here, some of them with illegal immigrant status, that have been drivers, cooks, hospital orderlies & care workers, sales clerks at Walmart or hotel desks, janitors and such for 20 to 30 years, some where both man and wife do these same jobs. Their homes are comparable to what you will find in Gbagada or Festac in Lagos, ALL their children still living at home have their own cars and most of them that have moved out are working and some have even bought their own house. In fact just this year a girl I used to babysit, an accountant, bought her own house, her parents both still work those unskilled jobs.

One of my colleagues where I used to work, her father is a TAXI DRIVER in Baltimore and 3 of his kids are doctors and one a pharmacist. And this is not a rare thing anymore among Nigerians here. And yes, not EVERYONE in the USA is successful, but I can assure you the vast majority of unskilled Nigerians here are doing much better than any Nigerian earning ₦450K per month in Nigeria. That's how they contribute to the $10 to $25 billion remittances sent by the diaspora every year.

Just yesterday one guy on holiday from Nigeria walked into my workplace and we got to talking and he started trying to tell me he doesn't like America, he can't stay here. Whereupon I gave him a piece of my mind and just calmly enumerated just how terrible Nigeria is. Another colleague had to tell me to pipe down....nonsense and ingredients.

Nigeria is a cesspool of poverty. Not my opinion, reputable international agencies concerned with such matters have ranked Nigeria as the Poverty Capital of the World!!! What else is there to say? Only 0.5% of Nigerians earn over ₦‎200K per month, so where exactly are these people living the good life in Nigeria? It's a very tiny sliver of the population and they can't all be here on Nairaland!

As for the OP, well I hope you have good plans. I know EXACTLY where stories like yours will likely end up. I know soooo many people in Nigeria with multiple siblings abroad. It's very enjoyable indeed but even enjoyment creates its own problems.

Good Luck to Nigeria!

3 Likes

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