₦airaland Forum

How true is this?

It is absolutely true.

Family is the biggest responsibility I have ever seen...to compound the woes just become poor or inability to take care of them.

Childfree:
How true is this?

It isn't true at all. It all depends on how each person plans such things. But you and I know how in Nigeria people rather plunge headfirst without thinking or taking time to plan these things out, only to then complain when they become overwhelmed as a result of their lack of planning and foresight.

Kobojunkie:
It isn't true at all. It all depends on how each person plans such things. But you and I know how in Nigeria people rather plunge headfirst without thinking or taking time to plan these things out, only to then complain when they become overwhelmed as a result of their lack of planning and foresight.

Saying because they don't plan is ridiculous.

How do you have time for yourself when time is now for the 3 of you?
Taking care of a child, probably awake at night is not stressful?
Can you stay out without coming to your child?
Can you just wake up and go to vacation for 2 months?

Mr planning, how does planning solve this?

Practically marriage, child or children would adversely affect your whole life. Unless you want to be a deadbeat parent

It bewilders me when people complain.

It isn't true. Marriage/family comes with great responsibilities however, been able to plan ahead and adjust where necessary makes navigating the challenges easier. That said, there are so many sacrifices to be made and they do not come without a great price. Waiting to sacrifice when it is convenient for you in my opinion is no sacrifice but been able to work it out with your partner and kids to tolerate and play your part in every sacrifice is the key thing.

Childfree:
Saying because they don't plan is ridiculous.

How do you have time for yourself when time is now for the 3 of you?
Taking care of a child, probably awake at night is not stressful?
Can you stay out without coming to your child?
Can you just wake up and go to vacation for 2 months?

Mr planning, how does planning solve this?

Practically marriage, child or children would adversely affect your whole life. Unless you want to be a deadbeat parent

It bewilders me when people complain.

Still buoys down to lack of proper planning. That you are married doesn't compel you to have kids if you know you are not ready to pay the price to raise kids properly etc.

GboyegaD:
It isn't true. Marriage/family comes with great responsibilities however, been able to plan ahead and adjust where necessary makes navigating the challenges easier. That said, there are so many sacrifices to be made and they do not come without a great price. Waiting to sacrifice when it is convenient for you in my opinion is no sacrifice but been able to work it out with your partner and kids to tolerate and play your part in every sacrifice is the key thing.

Why cry when faced with the responsibility and acting ignorance like they don't know what they are putting themselves into involves?

Childfree:
■ Saying because they don't plan is ridiculous.
■ How do you have time for yourself when time is now for the 3 of you? Taking care of a child, probably awake at night is not stressful? Can you stay out without coming to your child? Can you just wake up and go to vacation for 2 months? Mr planning, how does planning solve this?
■ Practically marriage, child or children would adversely affect your whole life. Unless you want to be a deadbeat parent. It bewilders me when people complain.

Spoken like a true non-planner!

2. You don't have kids unless you are ready to deal with all the stresses that come with having them. So you plan ahead either by getting yourself a babysitter or a family member lined up to help care for the kid while you work or have your other life if that is what you worry you would need time for. There are CEO mothers and fathers out there whose schedules are the busiest. Many of them don't even go on maternity leave when the baby is due. There are women who have their baby one day and are back to work the next day. This is all thanks to planning ahead and arranging what they would need to cater to their child from birth to at least adolescence.

3. Make una dey there dey deceive una self. Marriage does not bestow on you any special status that leaves you immune to application to commonsense solutions that are available all the world over. Billions of people have tried and tested the same marriage and childbearing and have learned from their experience how to more efficiently handle many of these same problems you are crying about today. It takes a sensible individual to take these tried and tested ideas and apply them to better his or her situation. There are of course nonsensible individual out there who would rather complain than do the right thing in their situation. If that is the crowd you wish to belong to in 2023, knock yourself out.

Childfree:
Why cry when faced with the responsibility and acting ignorance like they don't know what they are putting themselves into involves?

Those who cry are those who never considered the responsibilities they were getting into. However, some might talk about it and perhaps sound as whining, that is allowed because sometimes, people can be overwhelmed and whining is just a way to ease off their frustrations.

The burden of a marriage should not be taken by the man only...
Both the man and the wife should bear the burden full time...
The both parties should plan based on their financial capability...
Using today's and past financial capability to plan will make them be able to foresee the future...
If with past Nd present financial capability, you can't provide for more than 1 child, then no need having more... Besides as time goes by,bills increases...
So planning matters...
If you ar poor don't even get married at all...

Kobojunkie:
Spoken like a true non-planner!

2. You don't have kids unless you are ready to deal with all the stresses that come with having them. So you plan ahead either by getting yourself a babysitter or a family member lined up to help care for the kid while you work or have your other life if that is what you worry you would need time for. There are CEO mothers and fathers out there whose schedules are the busiest. Many of them don't even go on maternity leave when the baby is due. There are women who have their baby one day and are back to work the next day. This is all thanks to planning ahead and arranging what they would need to cater to their child from birth to at least adolescence.

3. Make una dey there dey deceive una self. Marriage does not bestow on you any special status that leaves you immune to application to commonsense solutions that are available all the world over. Billions of people have tried and tested the same marriage and childbearing and have learned from their experience how to more efficiently handle many of these same problems you are crying about today. It takes a sensible individual to take these tried and tested ideas and apply them to better his or her situation. There are of course nonsensible individual out there who would rather complain than do the right thing in their situation. If that is the crowd you wish to belong to in 2023, knock yourself out.

You are writing an epistle out of line from what I even inquired.

Unless you want to suggest their is no difference between when one has a child and when not. The issue is why complain regards the responsibility.

Whatever solution you suggest, it is all part of the inconvenience.

Wether you outsource or do it yourself, why the heck complain for whatever inconvenience, stress or the difficulty of the situation one put himself into?

Childfree:
■ You are writing an epistle out of line from what I even inquired. Unless you want to suggest their is no difference between when one has a child and when not. The issue is why complain regards the responsibility. Whatever solution you suggest, it is all part of the inconvenience. Wether you outsource or do it yourself, why the heck complain for whatever inconvenience, stress or the difficulty of the situation one put himself into?

□ Well, if childbearing and raring is an inconvenience, then one should probably not bother at all with it. It is after all a choice.
□ As for why we complain, the same reason people complain about life even as they continue to live it. You rarely find those who would complain and then turn out the lights on that same life right that moment, right?

Man thinks, man plan but God decides what happens to a large extent.

This isn't entirely true... I have a sister who has been married for more than 10 years now and yes, in the beginning of the marriage, she had a lot of responsibilities because she was still trying to prove herself to her husband and his family that she was worthy of being a good wife and her kids were also still young and needed her attention all the time.

But now that her two kids are in their teens and they can cook, clean, and wash their clothes, this sister of mine parties like no other and she would constantly go on ladies trips with her friends.

She and her friends would usually hangout at her house every Fridays and they would play music and just chill.

I think it also depends on the person you're married to.

Kobojunkie:
Spoken like a true non-planner!

2. You don't have kids unless you are ready to deal with all the stresses that come with having them. So you plan ahead either by getting yourself a babysitter or a family member lined up to help care for the kid while you work or have your other life if that is what you worry you would need time for. There are CEO mothers and fathers out there whose schedules are the busiest. Many of them don't even go on maternity leave when the baby is due. There are women who have their baby one day and are back to work the next day. This is all thanks to planning ahead and arranging what they would need to cater to their child from birth to at least adolescence.

3. Make una dey there dey deceive una self. Marriage does not bestow on you any special status that leaves you immune to application to commonsense solutions that are available all the world over. Billions of people have tried and tested the same marriage and childbearing and have learned from their experience how to more efficiently handle many of these same problems you are crying about today. It takes a sensible individual to take these tried and tested ideas and apply them to better his or her situation. There are of course nonsensible individual out there who would rather complain than do the right thing in their situation. If that is the crowd you wish to belong to in 2023, knock yourself out.

HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THE RESULT OF PARENTS NOT BEING THERE FOR THEIR CHILDREN; A NANNY WILL TRAIN YOUR CHILD FOR YOU. THINK AGAIN. AS A PARENT YOU MUST I REPEAT MUST BE THERE FOR YOUR CHILDREN ALWAYS OR SORRY FOR YOU

After marriage, your life isn't about only you anymore, except you don't want a family. No need whining about responsibilities as having a family is optional.

The average family person had about 30 years of their life to do as they please, after marriage, you sacrifice that right. Take it or leave it. Some selfish people still abandon family to go live 'free' but eventually pay for it at old age when they are abandoned in return.

Good evening boss I have dropped my account number please help me I put hope in you

Be mentally, financially and spiritually fortified before you bring any human being into this world and not more than three max.

As for me, I'do rather not bring anyone into this world or just bring only one at most.

It's technically true because am a living example either u plan or not sometimes u may plan very best but wrong partner might discard all what u taught u would have done ..

Also I think marriage sometimes is about luck because many that didn't really choose with proper scrutiny might choose right while some that watch and date eventually still choose wrong after about 10years in the game ..

So I think the answer to this depends on the kind of spouse u are married too if eventually u have similar ideas and compatible philosophy of life either..